Chapter Twenty-nine
It had been a full week since Mitchel had been on a bender. He had limited his drinking to two beers a day rather than two six-packs or a pint of whiskey, or both. He had also started wearing a nicotine patch to help him stop smoking. It occurred to him that heavy drinking and heavy smoking went hand in hand. The less he did of one, the less he would do of the other. Much to his surprise, it wasn’t as hard as he thought it might be, or as hard as he kept telling himself it would be. No more excuses. He knew he had to get himself together if he ever wanted a lasting relationship with his son.
The day they had spent together was a real eye-opener for him. He couldn’t recall the last time he had spent a few sober hours with Jackson, and Saturday felt good. He was still contemplating what had happened with his mother. He knew the change in her mood had helped considerably.
He winced when he thought about the exchange with Lucinda. Seeing her in daylight, and being sober to boot, was a real eye-opener for him. It was as if he were remembering someone else’s life. In retrospect, it was embarrassing to recall their previous relationship. When she had sauntered over to their table, his first impulse was to drink two shots of anything eighty proof or more. But looking at his son’s face, seeing the innocence in it, stopped him from stepping off the straight and narrow. He thought he had handled the situation well. Of course, the look on his mother’s face was another story. If looks could kill, he and Lucinda would both be at the coroner’s office. He gave a wry laugh at that scenario and shuddered. Thinking back to the time of his philandering, he couldn’t blame Colleen for her hostility. He was rarely home, and when he was, he was invariably in a foul mood. He wasn’t sure what the trigger was that had turned him into a worthless drunk, but he had decided that he was not going to be that guy anymore.
He thought about his own father. What little he could remember was that he was a mild-mannered, hardworking man. He would get up at the crack of dawn and tend the fields. Dinner was often the only time he saw his father, but it was usually a pleasant occasion unless his mother had an ax to grind, which happened frequently. Even so, his father would softly address her and remind her, “Not in front of the children.” That, too, could set her off. He thought about it some more. Maybe the problem had been that she didn’t feel appreciated or fulfilled. Having two sons didn’t mean a person had a sense of self-worth. Anyone, well almost anyone, could bear a child. Three hundred million Americans were proof. Then there was the rest of the world. He then realized she was saddled with raising two boys, essentially on her own, as well as trying to keep the farm afloat. He unexpectedly viewed her in a different light. She was, after all, a human being,
He went over to the small set of weights in the corner of the basement and did a few sets. He was determined to continue on his mission to be a better person, for himself and his son.
Mitchel knew there was little hope for reconciliation with Colleen. He had done too much damage. But if he could rehabilitate himself, perhaps they could have a civilized relationship for Jackson’s sake. Mitchel believed that if he could become a decent human being once again, he and Colleen could work together and raise their son. Even if it was in two different households.
Households. That was another hurdle. He needed a job for that to happen. After his talk with Pete at the bowling alley, Mitchel had decided to go to his former boss and plead for his job back. He knew he was an asset to the shop, provided he showed up.
After his workout, he jumped in the shower and began his grooming routine. He looked at himself in the mirror as he was shaving. “Who are you, man?” And then he laughed. He hadn’t had deep thoughts about much in ages. He looked intensely into his own eyes. Nice to see they weren’t bloodshot. Even the bags under his eyes, which were usually there, were starting to subside.
He put on another nicely ironed shirt, compliments of Elaine. He thought she was helping out because she wanted him out of the house. He couldn’t blame her. He had been quite the jerk the first two weeks. Nonetheless, he was grateful. A clean, pressed shirt and a clean pair of jeans would convey a “new Mitch” to anyone who saw him. At least that was his hope.
He took the steps two at a time. When he entered the kitchen, Elaine was standing with a coffeepot in her hand. “My, don’t you look nice.”
“Thanks to you.” Mitchel gave a short bow in her direction. “Elaine, I know I’ve been a bit of an ass lately. Actually, for a while now, but I want to be a better man.”
Elaine almost dropped the coffeepot. “You don’t say?” She was being sincere, in spite of her shock.
“Yeah. The other day, when I was with Jackson and my mother, I realized how important it is to be a good father. A father who is present.”
Elaine set the coffeepot down in fear she would truly drop it. “That’s wonderful news, Mitchel.”
“And my mother? Boy, was that a turnaround.”
“I know,” Elaine said.
“When I saw how happy Jackson was coloring on the place mats, and my mother being so nice, I thought how good it would be if we could try to be a happy family.”
Elaine cleared her throat.
“Oh, I know that Colleen and I are over. I treated her like dirt, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be good parents.”
Elaine walked over to Mitchel and felt his forehead. “You all right?”
Mitchel laughed. “I’m fine. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“The reason I’ve been a lousy father is probably because my dad died when I was ten. I had no role model. Greg did his best to fill in, but he was only two years older than me. No one could expect him to take that kind of responsibility.”
Elaine sat down before she fell down. “Mitchel, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like this before.”
Mitchel grunted. “Probably because I never felt like this before. Or at least gave it any thought. I think because I was the youngest, everyone coddled me and tried to protect me. In some ways, I was spoiled rotten and allowed to get away with a lot of crap. Even Colleen gave me a lot of slack. But I guess what I really needed was some good old-fashioned discipline.”
Elaine got up and returned to the coffee maker. “You want a cup?”
“Yes, please,” Mitchel responded. “Looking back, I realize what a dumbass I’ve been to a lot of people. Colleen, Jackson, my boss, you, Greg. I’m lucky to have any of you even talking to me now.”
Elaine poured him a mug. “Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“Yes, ma’am. And I want you to know I acknowledge all the stupid stuff I’ve done and want to thank you for putting up with me.”
“We’re family.” Elaine patted him on the wrist.
“Well, some families disown jerks.”
“We’re not that kind of family, Mitch.”
“I know that now, and I’m truly grateful.”
“So what are your plans for today?” Elaine asked, sincerely interested.
“I’m going to the shop and beg for my job back.”
“Really? What do you think Otto will say?”
“I have no idea. I’m just hopin’ he’ll say ‘yes’ and maybe take me back on probation.”
“You always were the best mechanic there,” Elaine said with encouragement.
“I’m hoping that counts for something.”
“I’ll pray it will.” She smiled at Mitch. “Want any breakfast before your big interview?”
“If it’s no trouble,” Mitch answered sincerely.
“No trouble at all. Eggs? Over easy? Toast?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Several minutes later, Elaine had the plate ready for Mitch. “Here you go.” She paused. “You know, I only want what’s best for you and Jackson. Colleen, too, but for now, it’s about you and your son.”
“Thanks, Elaine. That’s what I’m focusing on.” Mitch dunked a piece of toast in his eggs. “I think if I can do good by Jackson, Colleen will come around. I don’t mean by taking me back, but by being a good parenting partner.”
“That’s a great attitude, Mitch.”
He wiped the plate clean with his toast and finished his coffee. He rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Another first for him since his stay at Greg and Elaine’s had begun. She watched him move across the kitchen in amazement. Maybe there’s some hope.
“Thanks for the breakfast and the talk.” Mitch washed his hands and wiped them on a paper towel.
“You’re welcome, Mitch. Glad we had time this morning.” She got up as he was walking toward the door.
“Wish me luck!” He gave her a two-fingered salute. “Oh, and prayers are most welcome!” Prayers. Another word that rarely, if ever, appeared in his vocabulary. He hadn’t protested when Colleen took Jackson to church as long as he didn’t have to go with them. Maybe that might also change. One step at a time, bro. He smiled to himself.
Mitch got in his truck and traveled to his former place of employment, silently asking the Lord to give him another chance.
* * *
He pulled up to the shop, recognizing most of the other cars. He checked his teeth in the mirror and took a swig of Listerine. But this time he spit it out in a cup. It wasn’t as if he was trying to hide the smell of booze. He wanted to come off squeaky clean when he spoke to Otto.
When he opened the door, the bell rang in the back of the shop, signaling that a customer had arrived. Otto came out with a big smile, but it turned into a frown when he saw that it was Mitchel.
“What are you doing here?” Otto asked, more out of curiosity than anger.
“Hey, Otto. Can we talk a minute?” Mitch was close to fawning over him, but that kind of schmaltz wouldn’t work on the hard-nosed Otto.
“What about?” Otto was wiping some grease off his hands with a towel.
“Let me start out by saying I know I was a real jerk.”
“You won’t get an argument from me.” Otto leaned against the counter.
Mitchel snickered. “Listen, you know Colleen and I are going through an ugly time.”
“So I’ve heard.” Otto wasn’t much for words.
“Otto, I know you gave me a lot of chances to keep my job when I was screwing up.”
“I ain’t gonna argue that either.”
“Otto, I’m trying to get my act together. I’ve cut down on my drinking. I’m even trying to quit smoking.” He rolled up his sleeve to show him the nicotine patch.
“I’m guessing you want your old job back.” Otto eyed him closely.
Mitch looked down at his feet. “Yes. But before you say no, I want you to understand how much I need this. Not just for me, but for Jackson. I want to be able to pay good child support.”
“You and Colleen gettin’ a divorce?”
“Most likely. But I’m going to do my darn best to make it easy for Jackson. A broken home isn’t good for anyone.” Mitchel paused, trying to get a sense of what direction Otto was going. “I know you knew my pop, but I really didn’t. I was only ten when he died, so I don’t know much about being a father, and I don’t want to blow it with Jackson. He’s a really good kid and deserves some kind of stability.”
Otto was nodding. Mitchel thought it was a good sign.
“Otto, I really need the job.” Mitchel was on the verge of groveling.
“How’m I gonna trust you to show up?” Otto peered at him.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, after all the bull I put you through, but I’d like to think I’m changing for the better. I know I did good work.”
Otto interrupted and repeated the reminder. “When you showed up.”
Mitch put his hands up. “I know. I know.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you what. You take me back, and I’ll work overtime for regular pay.”
Otto scratched the stubble on his face. “How many hours overtime are you talkin’?”
Mitch was calculating in his head. “Ten? Twelve?”
“A week?”
“If necessary.”
“For how long?”
“Six months?” Mitchel figured he had nothing to lose at this point.
Otto thought a minute, wiped his hands again, and put it out to shake Mitch’s. “You better watch your butt. When can you start?”
A huge wave of relief came over Mitch. He thought he would cry. “Thanks, Otto. I promise, I will not disappoint you. I can start today. The only time off I’ll need is for court, but I’ll work late to get any of the jobs done.”
Otto threw the towel at him. “Go suit up. Your old uniform is still in the back. I was going to burn it, but then I decided I didn’t want a grease fire.” Otto chuckled. He was glad to have his top mechanic back. He wouldn’t let on, but he had lost a couple of good customers, and now he could tell them Mitch was back.
Mitch was walking on air. Obstacle one was out of the way.
His court date for the hearing was in two days, then the custody hearing in a week. At least he was gainfully employed. He felt the urge to call someone. He decided it was Elaine. She had been good to him in spite of his bad behavior, and she was a warm, welcome ear earlier that day. He dialed her number.
“Hello, Mitch?” She saw his name come up on the caller ID. “Everything all right?”
“Hey, Elaine. Everything is fine and dandy. Otto gave me my job back.”
“That’s great! When do you start?”
“I’m here now. I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for your hospitality, breakfast, and those prayers.” Mitchel’s voice essentially sounded upbeat. “I’m sure you were prayin’ for me to get out.” He laughed.
Elaine knew it wasn’t far from the truth, but she was happy for him and Jackson anyway.
Mitchel continued. “I’m going to have to figure out some kind of living situation for myself, so if you can bear with me for another couple of weeks, until the hearings are over, I would greatly appreciate it. And I’ll give you guys some cash for letting me stay there.”
“That’s fine, Mitchel. We’ll try to help out as much as possible.”
“Thanks, Elaine. It’s very much appreciated.” Mitchel was still trying to avoid getting choked up. “I better get inside before Otto changes his mind.”
“Good idea!” Elaine laughed. “Good luck! See you later.”
“Bye.” Mitch clicked off the phone and wiped the small tear at the corner of his eye.