“Meeroow.”
Luke watched as his grandfather patted his leg. Vincent leaped to the spot, purring loudly.
Nobody could ignore Vincent, he was an unstoppable force. Like Nicki. Except that Nicki was pure eye candy, with her smile and leggy femininity, whereas Vincent had the battered mug of a gangster.
Luke leaned forward, feeling emboldened by what he’d witnessed in the hall the previous night, figuring the quiet morning was as good an opportunity as any to talk. “Granddad, you really have to see the doctor. We need to ask him about medication for depression. At the very least you have to explain to him what’s going on and how you feel, instead of pretending that everything is fine when you see him.”
His grandfather’s face turned stony. “I’m not depressed.”
Luke snorted. “Yeah, right. Then why do you sit for hours on end, staring at nothing? Why are you asleep when you aren’t staring into space? And how about selling Great-grandmother Helena’s portrait for five bucks at a yard sale, or suddenly noticing after three years that the garden is a mess?”
“Just think about it,” Luke said finally. “There’s nothing wrong with getting some help…Besides, Grams wouldn’t like you being this way.”
After a long minute Granddad nodded. “All right, I’ll think about it.”
Luke sucked in a breath of relief. He wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing, but at least he’d done something. He sat back and sipped his coffee, his gaze drifting to the French doors. Nicki always came to the back of the house when it was this early, still worried about waking someone up. Yet he had gotten used to rising at the crack of dawn and was rarely in bed when she arrived. It meant he was short on sleep since he’d been catching up on company business at night, but it was worth it.
Worth it?
The thought made him grin. Once upon a time he would have considered any distraction from work to be avoided at all costs. But the more time he spent around Nicki, the more he realized that work was interesting and rewarding, but it was just work. Life was something else.
A few minutes later, Nicki walked into sight and he waved, trying to make it appear as if he were just relaxing with a cup of coffee. He wasn’t. His days had become geared to her arrival, as had his grandfather’s.
“Good morning,” Nicki said as she stepped in through the French doors. “I brought donuts and tuna.” She waved a bag in the air.
Vincent’s ears swiveled at the word tuna. He was a fast learner, and after only a few days could recognize a can opener or pop-top from the farthest corner of the house.
“Meeeoow.”
“Hello, baby.” She scratched his neck and he closed his eyes in ecstasy. “I’m afraid you won’t be so fond of me once I take you to the vet today.”
“That’s why you keep bribing him with tuna,” Luke said. He’d purr, too, if she touched him like that. Of course, he’d want her fingers to keep moving in tender, loving caresses.
Luke vaguely remembered when he thought a woman needed to be overly generous in the bustline. Now he looked at Nicki and saw a delicious balance that appealed to him more than any of those other women had. Of course, it might be the way she responded to him that sent his blood rushing.
Funny, he’d never known that honest sensuality could be quite this compelling. He ought to have known; he’d been given the opportunity when he was a teenager to figure it out. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to see beyond his own wounded ego or Nicki’s status as the school pariah.
“Yup. Bribes work. But I’ve been thinking….” She looked worried all of a sudden. “I’m not sure my cat is going to like having competition. Da Vinci can get very jealous and that could be hard on Vincent.”
Luke choked and covered his mouth.
Nicki’s brand of sweet manipulation didn’t bother him a bit. She had his grandfather’s welfare at heart, and it was a pleasure watching her weave a spell around them both.
“He can stay here for a while,” Granddad offered. “As long as you like.”
“Could he?” She looked relieved, as if he’d really taken a load off her shoulders. “That would be great. But I don’t want him to be inconvenient, so I’ll pick up another litter box for you. And the vet will recommend the right kind of food once he checks him out. I’ll get some when I’m there.”
Granddad nodded. “Tell them to send the bill here.”
“I couldn’t do that—have you decided what we should plant in the vegetable garden?” she added quickly.
“Tomatoes,” he murmured, still petting Vincent.
“I like them, too. Anyone for donuts? We don’t have to wait for them to ripen. I’ll get some napkins.” Nicki didn’t wait for an answer, she headed for the kitchen as if something unpleasant was nipping at her heels. Luke frowned and followed.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She was fussing at something on the counter and didn’t turn around. “What do you mean?”
“You got all stiff and prickly when Granddad suggested paying for the cat’s medical stuff. We both know that Vincent is staying here for good, so why not let Granddad take care of the bill?”
“I can pay my own bills, thank you.”
Luke expelled a breath. The woman was damned stubborn on the subject of money, along with a few other subjects. “Hell, Nicki, you could drive a saint to drink.”
“That’s just what every woman longs to hear.”
He scowled. “You know, occasionally you could let someone do something for you, just because they want to. I know you make a good living and can pay your own way, so why is it such a big deal?”
Nicki bit the inside of her lip and fingered the can of tuna she’d brought. The big deal was that she’d grown up with a father who couldn’t make ends meet, where there was never quite enough money for essentials like food and rent. His asthma had kept him unemployed a good deal of the time, as had his general inability to get along with other people.
“Nicki?”
She sighed and turned around. “I overreact sometimes, that’s all. Because of my childhood. It was hard growing up as the kid who always had to shop at secondhand stores or who could never buy the school lunch because it cost too much,” she said, hating the way it sounded. She wasn’t embarrassed about her childhood. Not exactly, she told herself, but it had taken its toll.
Luke pulled her into his arms. “But you still turned into the most generous person I’ve ever met. You’re an amazing woman, Nicki. I wish I’d been a better person when we were kids, because I could have learned a lot from you.”
“You had your moments.” Her words were muffled against his shirt.
“Yeah, moments I’m not proud of.”
Nicki closed her eyes, indulging in a fleeting weakness. She loved the feel of Luke’s arms and the thrumming of his heart against her cheek. She would never have expected him to be perceptive enough to recognize her discomfort over money or anything else, and time and again he’d proven her wrong. He wasn’t the least bit like her ex-husband, and the knowledge made her ache with longing.
Yet their proximity was causing discomfort for another reason, and the tension in her body was echoed by Luke’s quickening pulse.
She pushed away and tried to smile as if nothing had happened. “We all have those moments. It’s called being human. Anyway, you guessed my plan with Vincent?”
“That you didn’t plan on bringing him home? Yeah, I guessed.” He chuckled, resigned, and didn’t seem overly upset. “That cat is impossible to ignore, which is exactly what Granddad needed—he’s gotten so much better I can hardly believe it.”
“I thought about getting a cat at the animal shelter,” Nicki admitted. “But when I saw Vincent and how he wasn’t spooked by all those people and the noise and everything, I figured he would be perfect.”
“Yeah, perfect,” Luke repeated, his tone more ironic than hers had been. She didn’t care. He’d taken things remarkably well for someone who always wanted to be in control.
At that moment, the impossible-to-ignore cat strolled into the kitchen and cried plaintively. He pawed at his dry food bowl.
“Poor thing, he wants his tuna,” she said.
“No, he just gets hysterical if he can see the bottom of the bowl,” Luke retorted. “He’s only lived here a few days and he’s already king of the castle.”
He pulled the sack of dry food from the pantry and topped off Vincent’s bowl. Reassured that starvation was no longer in the offing, the cat ignored the bowl and rubbed against Nicki’s legs.
“Now he wants his tuna,” Luke observed.
She tossed him a smile and opened the can she’d brought. Having adopted strays in the past, she knew Vincent might always have an obsessive interest in eating. Her own cat was never happy unless his quart-sized bowl was filled to overflowing.
“So when is the fleabag’s appointment with the vet?” Luke asked. He handed her a cup of coffee, then selected a donut from the box.
“He’s not a fleabag.” Nicki gave him a reproving look. “I gave him a bath two days ago, remember?”
Luke remembered. He remembered feeling murderous because Vincent had slashed Nicki’s arm, leaving behind a trail of scarlet beads. It should have been him getting scratched if anyone was hurt, but she’d brushed his exclamations aside and gently toweled the cat dry before dabbing the scratch with antiseptic.
“Anyway, the appointment is at eight,” Nicki said. She dumped the tuna in another bowl and put it on the floor. Vincent attacked the fish as if he hadn’t eaten in days.
After washing her hands, Nicki put a chocolate donut on a plate and opened a nutrition drink from the refrigerator. “It’s the first appointment of the day, so it shouldn’t take too long. I’ll probably be back by nine, and then we can start working on the gazebo,” she added.
“I’ll go with you.”
He’d obviously surprised her, but she nodded. “Okay. And…um…tonight is when I go to the nursing home to call the bingo game. That is, if you still want to go.”
“We’re going. I already mentioned it to Granddad and he said it sounded like fun.”
She nodded and disappeared into the hallway. A moment later he heard her talking to his grandfather.
Luke took a bite of donut and reflected that wild horses couldn’t have dragged him to a bingo game two months ago. But then, two months ago he’d been in Chicago, dreading another trip to Divine, knowing his grandfather would just be worse and there was nothing he could do about it.
Two months ago he hadn’t gotten to know Nicki again, for the first time.
Luke bore down on the pruning shears and the curved blades sliced through a tree branch that had been blocking a garden path. He flexed his shoulders and moved to the next one.
Each night, he was more tired than he’d been in a long time, but he wouldn’t admit it for a million dollars. If Nicki could work so hard day after day in the garden and then focus on the art inventory in between times, he could keep up, too. He’d like to believe he was handling the heaviest jobs out there, but he probably wasn’t. Nicki was stubborn that way.
He looked up from the bush he was pruning and glared.
Like now.
“Nicki, get down from that ladder,” he shouted.
His heart slammed into his throat when she jerked and nearly lost her grip.
“Don’t do that,” she snapped. “I’ll be fine if you don’t scare me to death.”
“You aren’t fine, you’re up a ladder again.”
“Women climb ladders all the time.”
That might be true, but other women weren’t his problem. Nicki was his problem and she was making him crazy, one way or the other.
“Get down. Now.”
“You aren’t a drill sergeant and I don’t take orders.” She continued painting the ceiling of the gazebo.
Putting his hands on her hips, he lifted her bodily. She struggled, the paintbrush, bucket and ladder going flying, but he succeeded in getting her feet to the floor. “You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. I told you before, I don’t want you going up that thing.”
“And you’re a fraud, Luke McCade. You think you’re a sophisticated modern guy? Hah. You’re one step from being a caveman when it comes to women.”
She was right. He’d come to the same conclusion himself even as he tried to keep her from tackling jobs that were twice her size. But he’d never felt the need to protect someone quite like he did with Nicki, and she was making it damned hard for him.
“If you break your neck, I’ll be sued,” he said lamely.
“I don’t have any family, remember? There won’t be anyone to hire the lawyer.”
“You have us. You’re an honorary McCade.”
“You mean the McCades would actually sue their own family over an honorary’s demise?” she said smiling. The mixed laughter and annoyance in her blue eyes fled, and she shook her head. “That’s nice of you to say, but I fooled myself once about having a new family. I’m not going to let it happen again.”
“Fooled yourself? What family are you talking about?”
Her nose wrinkled. “When I got married. Butch had several younger siblings, as well as his mother and grandparents. I thought I was finally going to belong. Then I found out he was on one side of the battle, they were on the other and I was still the outsider.”
Some of the things that hadn’t made sense about Nicki finally clicked into place. He’d wondered why she had so much trouble calling his grandfather by his first name. It was because she had never really belonged, and his chest got tight at the realization.
“Not that I married Butch for his family,” Nicki added quickly. “But it was nice thinking…you know.” She shrugged diffidently, as if she didn’t really believe he’d understand.
But Luke did understand.
He understood so well it was hard to think about anything except holding her close and promising everything would be all right. But he couldn’t make a promise like that, and she wouldn’t believe him anyway.
“Would it interest you to know that my mother still thinks of you fondly?” he murmured.
“She remembers me?”
“You shouldn’t sound so surprised. You’re very memorable, Nicki.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Very right.” Luke tugged her closer. “You know something? I don’t think I’ve thanked you properly for foisting that ugly-as-sin feline on my grandfather.”
Nicki pulled back, indignant. “He isn’t ugly.”
“He’s got a face only a mother could love. As for the rest of him…he’s all legs.”
“That’s because he’s still growing. Once he’s an adult he’ll knock you over with how gorgeous he is. You heard the vet—he’s part Maine Coon, and they’re beautiful. You’ll see.”
Luke believed her. Like everything else Nicki did, the cat had worked out great.
Everything else?
Sheesh, he had it bad.
“And I didn’t foist him on you,” she added. “You approve of what I did. Don’t deny it.”
He grinned and tugged a lock of her gold hair. “I approve. And like I said, I haven’t thanked you properly.”
Her lashes drifted downward. “You don’t need to thank me.”
“Mmm, I do. I really do.”
Nicki knew that tone and her body instinctively responded. She didn’t want him to have that much power over her, but it was undeniable. Luke had only to look at her a certain way and her blood turned to pure sensual heat.
His strong hands pushed under the hem of her shorts, cupping her bottom and squeezing with slow, deliberate seduction.
“We’re in sight of the house,” she breathed a reminder.
“It’s safer that way,” Luke muttered, dipping his head and catching her lips with his.
Breathing didn’t seem necessary as he filled her mouth, exploring with deliberate intent, mirroring the hard motions of his body. Nicki shivered, wanting all barriers removed.
Toward the end of her marriage she’d done everything possible to avoid intimacy with her husband, even when things seemed mostly all right between them, but being held by Luke was completely different. He was taller and stronger than Butch, yet she didn’t feel helpless in his grasp. It was like flying and Luke was the powerful lift of wind keeping her airborne. The urge to be joined completely drowned the voices of doubt still whispering in the back of her mind.
Yet when his fingers touched her intimately, she tensed, his words echoing in her head.
It’s safer that way…
Right.
They couldn’t make love where anyone could see them, and Luke had known it. He’d chosen his spot for exactly that reason.
“Luke…no.”
Chest heaving, he buried his face in the curve of her neck. “Never knew…I was a masochist,” he gasped.
She wanted to ask him why he hadn’t pushed for more—not today, but other times when it had been possible. They could have been together down at the creek, or a time when they’d been lost in the tangled profusion of the garden. But maybe she should just accept what was, and not question so much.
“Thank you,” he whispered, kissing the throbbing pulse point in her neck.
For a minute she couldn’t remember what he was talking about, then it came back. Vincent and his grandfather. Her plan to get two lost creatures together.
Luke gave her another sweet kiss and then gazed across her face. The look was back—the look of warmth and appreciation. The one that said she was special. It gave her such a strange feeling. A woman could get a swelled head if a man looked at her that way very often.
But she had a mirror and knew what she looked like. Sure, her appearance had improved now that she was wearing clothes that fit. And she did try to help her friends and neighbors, but it didn’t make her special or better than anyone else. Really, it was hard not to believe that if she were truly special and good and beautiful, she would have found someone who loved her a long time ago.
Yet it was so tempting.
And so foolish.
She’d always longed for unconditional love, the kind she never received from her father, and Luke was the least likely person to give it.
Still…
Was it possible?
The warmth in his eyes nearly turned her inside out. Maybe all ex-jocks weren’t the same…maybe Luke was different. Maybe love wouldn’t be out of reach with him, the way it had been for her entire life.
“Luke!” said a stern voice, and they jerked apart. Professor McCade had stepped into the garden, and he gazed at his grandson with a grim look of disapproval.
“Yes, Granddad?”
“I’d like to speak with you.”
“God, I’m a grown man and I’m going to get lectured like a juvenile delinquent,” Luke muttered. “He’s going to give me the whole works about respecting women and being a gentleman.” He released her and stepped backward.
“You could try being glad he remembers the lecture,” Nicki joked, her own face burning.
“Believe me, I am.” He turned and walked toward his grandfather. “Oh, but Nicki? Stay off that ladder,” he said over his shoulder as a parting shot. “I don’t want to come back out here and have to pick up the pieces.”
Nicki sank to the steps of the gazebo, not knowing if she should laugh or die of embarrassment. The thought of getting on the ladder again hadn’t occurred to her. Her legs were too rubbery to stand, much less climb anything.
Luke had torn through her defenses in less than a month. Luke, the same boy who’d broken her heart when she was a girl. She sighed and rested her head on the railing. He had changed, and she was already half in love with him.
But knowing what to do about it was a mystery.
Honestly, she wasn’t any better at romance now than she’d been at fifteen.
Luke didn’t really know what to expect when he walked inside the house. His grandfather had sounded like the old John McCade. The man who’d helped fill in for an often absent father. The grandfather who had occasionally caught Luke doing something wrong then scared him back onto the straight and narrow.
Not that kissing Nicki was wrong, Luke told himself. Yet, he knew that wasn’t entirely true. Kissing her wasn’t wrong if he meant something by those kisses.
He squirmed at the thought. A woman like Nicki required a different standard. She wasn’t a game or a conquest, she was real. He just hadn’t figured out what to do about it.
“Granddad, you don’t have to say anything,” he said.
“Don’t I?” His grandfather shook his head and gazed around the room as if seeing it for the first time. “Where are my paintings?” he asked.
“You put them away.”
“Oh…yes.” A heavy sigh came from the elderly man. “And I let the garden go to hell. The Little Sergeant would scold me royally for that.”
“Tell me again why you called Grams the Little Sergeant,” Luke said. Nicki was right, Granddad had to deal with his loss. If his problem was depression, then they needed to do something about it, not pretend it didn’t exist. Hell, being able to do something was a damned sight better than helplessly watching someone you loved disappear in front of your eyes.
A faint smile curved Granddad’s mouth. “Don’t you remember? It’s because your grandmother was thinking about becoming an army nurse when we met.”
“I remember, but tell me again,” Luke said, recalling how astonished he’d been the first time he’d heard that his grandmother had considered such a thing. Why, Grams might have been sent to England during the Second World War, or even to the south Pacific.
“When I proposed, she felt torn between me and the work she’d chosen, so I said she could always be my Little Sergeant if she married me. Perhaps that sounds politically incorrect today, but it was a different time, with different ways. Your grandmother was a strong woman, Luke. She did choose me, and I blessed that choice every day of our lives together.”
The unutterable sorrow in his face tore at Luke’s chest. But he also saw something else, a peace that hadn’t been there before. And there was no doubt in his mind that his grandfather was finding that peace because of Nicki.
Luke sighed. His own feelings for Nicki were becoming hard to ignore. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked forward so much to a day, to a smile, to just being with someone who made him a better person by being so good herself. Was that the choice his grandfather was talking about? The choice between what you could have, every day, with someone who lit up your world with a smile, or living in a world that lacked color and life without that someone?
Was that worth the risks he’d been unwilling to take? And was there really so much danger in losing control if you could actually trust the person you loved? He’d already been pushed to the limit with Nicki, and nothing terrible had happened.
“I never expected Mary to go first,” John murmured. “I wasn’t prepared for that. She was stronger than I was, Luke.”
“You’re strong. You’re the strongest man I know.”
Maybe Granddad had tried too hard to be strong, not letting anyone or anything comfort him. Refusing to turn to anyone when things got bad, just trying to tough things out and pretend the world was still spinning the way it ought to.
A strange sensation went through Luke as he realized that could describe him, as well.
Granddad patted his arm. “This is getting difficult for both of us, and I think one emotional scene a day is enough,” he said, obviously referring to their talk earlier that morning. “Perhaps we should discuss Nicole instead.”
Luke shook away the odd feeling and winced. Maybe he was going to get raked over the coals after all. Still, if it gave his grandfather something to be interested in, who was he to complain?
“What about her?”
“You could have chosen a better place than the gazebo,” John said mildly, his eyes twinkling. It was a shock to realize he was being teased, but before Luke could react, Granddad’s gaze sharpened. “Nicole deserves the best, Luke. She isn’t like the women you’ve always dated. I want to be assured you understand that.”
“I do.” It was true, Luke did understand. And he felt as if he were on the verge of a great discovery, as if everything in his life had been moving him to this point.
All he needed was a little more time to sort it out inside.