Two mornings later Luke packed his car. Granddad no longer seemed to need someone there, and he wanted to get his and Nicki’s forced separation over with as soon as possible. Because no matter what he said, she wouldn’t change her mind.
“How long?” he’d demanded. “A week? A month?”
“Long enough for you to be sure.”
Lord.
It was enough to drive a man insane. He was already sure. He didn’t have to be separated from her to know what he wanted. With any other woman, he would have thought it was a test, an attempt to push him away to see if he’d actually go.
But Nicki wasn’t like that.
She was the sweetest, kindest, smartest, most honest woman he’d ever known. And the most stubborn.
“You’re going to be all right, aren’t you, Granddad?” he asked as he carried his briefcase down. It was the only thing left to put in the car, and it already contained his preliminary plans for rejuvenating Divine. He hadn’t talked about it with Nicki because he was sure it would only further complicate things between them.
John nodded. He’d improved remarkably, but Luke was still concerned. Though his parents had again offered to come, Granddad had refused, saying it was time to sort things out on his own.
“I’ll be fine,” John assured. “Nicki will keep coming to see me and to work on the garden and art inventory. We’re also going to collaborate on updating one of my old textbooks. She has some fine ideas about a fresh approach.”
Another irony, Luke thought wryly. Nicki was kicking him out of Divine, at the same time she was becoming even more involved with his grandfather.
“And you’re going to see the doctor and talk about what’s really wrong?” he added.
Granddad had finally acknowledged his depression and the need to see someone about it, not that it would be easy for him to tell the doctor he needed treatment. Maybe it was the generation he came from, feeling that will and faith ought to be enough to get you through anything. Of course, the end result was that he’d been given medication for the wrong condition. No wonder it hadn’t helped.
“Yes. Nicki said she would take me.”
Nicki.
Always Nicki.
The thought of leaving tore Luke in half.
“Are you going to see her before you head out?” asked Granddad. “She said she wasn’t coming over until later.”
“I’m stopping at her apartment.”
There were questions in John’s eyes. He’d taken the news of Luke’s departure with raised eyebrows, and he had to know there were problems between him and Nicki. But he’d respected Luke’s silence.
Their handshake turned into a hard hug, and Luke’s eyes were burning by the time he climbed behind the wheel of his silver Beamer.
In the reaches of his mind he saw a little girl with Nicki’s blue eyes sitting in the back seat. And Nicki next to him, smiling as she patted the swelling mound of her tummy, suggesting they might need something bigger—like a van—for carpooling with other parents and trips to the lake.
How many children would they have?
Two.
Three.
More?
His blood surged. He wanted the choice his father had made, finally understanding why he’d made that choice. And Luke was sorry for the way he’d resented his dad’s absences; the time apart must have been just as hard on him as the family.
On the other side of town he found Nicki’s apartment and knocked on the door. She was pale when she answered and led him to the living room.
“Nicki, please reconsider,” he said. “I don’t need any time, I already know how I feel.”
She shook her head.
Though Luke hadn’t expected anything different, his stomach twisted. “Please, I want us to be together. I understand that you want to live in Divine, and that’s all right. I can run my business from here—I’ve been doing it for weeks and it’s worked out pretty well. Besides, I’ll have to be here if I’m going to work on the community development plan. Why don’t you at least come up for the dinner I told you about?” he asked.
The annual dinner he gave for his employees and clients was in another week. Maybe she thought it meant he was tired of small-town social life and longed for something more sophisticated, but he’d wanted her to go with him—that was why he’d mentioned it.
“I’ll be going crazy without you.”
“I think…I think you’ll need more time than that. But you don’t have to worry about something happening,” she whispered. “I’m not like the others. I wouldn’t ever…I mean, I’ll wait.”
“I know. I trust you, but you have to trust me, too,” Luke said earnestly. “I wouldn’t see you differently in Chicago or anywhere else. I finally know what’s important, and what I want…you’re the one who showed me that. I like who I am when I’m with you. I’ve never been able to say that to anyone before.”
Nicki wanted to believe him. But she wasn’t like the women who had always attracted him in the past. It was hard not to think that he would get back to the city, see one of them and wonder what sort of madness had come over him to think he wanted to marry little Nicole Johansson.
“Nicki?”
“You’re a good man, you don’t need me to know that. Have a s-safe drive back.” She was afraid she was going to break down and couldn’t bear for him to see it. “Be careful.”
“I will.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. “I wish you’d let me stay.”
“Not now…not yet.”
After another tender kiss Luke was gone, and Nicki crumpled on the couch. What was wrong with her? Did she have so little faith in herself she couldn’t believe his love was real?
The question haunted Nicki for the next several days, as did the memory of his last kiss. She loved Luke. There wasn’t any doubt of it in her heart or mind. It was the kind of love she’d fooled herself into believing she felt for her ex-husband. But maybe a piece of her had always belonged to Luke—from the beginning when they’d kissed in the hospital and she’d sensed someone worth caring about beneath his anger and cocky bravado. She would never have kissed him the first time if she hadn’t sensed what he was truly like.
It was a beautiful June, as unseasonably cool as May had been warm. Nicki worked in the McCade garden and on the inventory of John’s art collection, researching and assigning monetary values to pieces she considered priceless. In the vegetable patch grew baby spinach and lettuce leaves that would soon be ready to pick, and she planted starts of zucchini and tomatoes, which would normally have been grown from seeds only in the spring.
She wouldn’t take any calls from Luke, so he sent teddy bears with ridiculous names, which he suggested they consider for their children.
“Hah,” she said, smiling faintly as she thought of the last one he’d sent and worked at thinning the radishes. A surfer bear named Moondoggie. The daily deliveries were the only thing that kept her going during his absence. How had Luke known that flowers and candy would only trouble her? They were too much like the usual things a man sent to a woman.
Was it because he could see as clearly into her as she thought she saw into him? Wasn’t that something to hold on to, to have faith in?
Wasn’t it enough?
It certainly ought to be.
Nicki set the soaker hoses going in the vegetable patch and headed inside. She ate lunch each day with John, except when she was delivering meals to Divine’s shut-ins. He was getting better each day, pulling out of the depression that had gripped him since his wife’s death. It helped that he was finally cooperating with treatment, instead of fighting it.
“How about chicken salad?” she suggested with false cheer as she entered the living room.
“How about telling me the truth?” John said, giving her a narrow look. “I’m tired of being polite and waiting for you to find the right time to say something. What happened between you and my grandson?”
She swallowed. “He proposed, so I told him to go back to Chicago.”
“You did what?”
John looked appalled and Nicki winced. He was as dear to her as if he were her own grandfather and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.
“I thought he should go back to his life there for a while,” she explained, more miserable than ever. “So he could be sure of what he wanted…be sure that I was what he wanted.”
“Young lady, you could drive a saint to drink,” John said, looking annoyed.
She remembered when Luke had said the same, and tried to keep from sniffing. “It’s valid. You know I’m not the kind of women he’s always found attractive. I’m hardly in their class.”
“That’s right, you’re miles above that class.” He put his hand out, urging her to sit next to him. “You aren’t a coward, child, so don’t behave like one. Go after that boy. Show him you love him.”
Did she dare?
She looked at the professor. It would take time before he truly found himself again, and his smile might never be the same, but he was a wise man. The lessons he’d taught his classes had not only been about art, but about living, and in his own way he was still teaching her.
Yet, it was Luke’s words that resounded in Nicki’s mind. He’d said she needed to believe in them…and in herself. And that meant feeling worthy of love—she had to believe not in the boy he’d been, but in the man he’d become.
How could she hope to find unconditional love if she wasn’t willing to return it unconditionally?
“You really think I should?” she whispered.
“Absolutely. It’s about time I had some great-grandchildren, Nicole. The Little Sergeant is waiting, too.”
Their gazes met, and Nicki was reminded that Luke had been taught about love from a master in the subject.
She squared her shoulders. “Then I’d better go. I wouldn’t want to disappoint the Little Sergeant.”
“That’s more like it.” John smiled. “You’re a lot like her, you know.”
It was probably the finest compliment Nicki had ever received, and it kept her strong as she made hasty plans to drive to Chicago.
Luke was tired. The festive atmosphere of the annual company dinner was not for him.
He had trouble sleeping with Nicki so far away. He wanted her in his bed, her smile to be the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing before he slept at night. He wanted it all. But as hard as it was to be separated from Nicki, he found that her influence on him had changed his perception of everything he saw.
He had a thousand ideas to help Divine’s downtown area. They needed new businesses throughout. Things that fit, like a reopened granary and rental housing to tempt the wealthy students attending the private college. He’d even found investors, ones that believed more in building good things than making money the fastest way possible. The biggest chunk would come from him, though. He didn’t want anyone to worry about foreclosure or outside owners.
“Something wrong, boss?” asked his executive assistant. She was elegantly dressed in a flaming red sheath that showcased her considerable physical attributes, but he barely noticed.
“I was just thinking about a new project. I hope everyone is having a good time,” he murmured. He gazed at the crowd, wishing it was Nicki he saw instead of the sea of suits and evening gowns.
Barbara chuckled. “This dinner is the highlight of the year for all of us, although you do have everyone wondering what is going on inside that clever mind of yours. You haven’t been yourself since you got back.”
“I probably don’t want to know if that’s good or bad.”
“It’s definitely good. But it’s almost time for your speech. I hope you’re prepared. This is a tough crowd, stuffed with all that delicious food and free booze. They’re positively belligerent.”
He gave her a look. “Everyone is a comedian.”
Nicki took a calming breath as she applied her makeup. She was late. The dinner would be over by the time she got down to the hotel’s banquet room. An accident on the interstate had delayed her arrival by hours.
She shook her gown out, glad she’d packed it in a garment bag to keep it from getting crushed. Pulling it on, she gave herself the briefest glance in the mirror. Not bad, but she still didn’t see how she could compete with cheerleaders and former Miss Illinoises.
The old uncertainties swamped her for a moment and Nicki took a breath, trying to shake them away. She loved Luke and knew he loved her. She’d seen the desire in his eyes and felt the urgency in his kisses. She’d also seen the tender approval in the way he looked at her, as if she were the most precious thing on earth. Besides, no matter what else she thought or believed, Luke would never have said he loved her if he didn’t mean it…he’d been hurt too much by love to take it lightly. She should have remembered that before she sent him back to Chicago without her.
“I’m the one he wants,” she said, sticking her chin up.
He wanted her, not one of the women who’d wounded and disappointed him in the past. And she would show him how much she wanted him by meeting him halfway.
He deserved that much. And they both deserved their chance to be loved again.
Luke smiled and acknowledged the applause from his guests as he took the microphone. He hated the speech part of the evening, but he did want to thank everyone for their work and business.
“Thank you. I hope you’ve enjoyed tonight as much as I have.”
More applause rippled through the room and he moved his gaze from one table to the next. A movement from the back of the room caught his attention, a form in the shadows that seemed familiar.
As he opened his mouth again, the shape moved into the light…and everything he’d planned to say disappeared from his head.
Nicki.
Shoulders bare, she was dressed in midnight blue velvet that draped her figure to devastating effect, and her hair was pulled back in jeweled combs. But he wouldn’t have cared if she were wearing one of her old ten-sizes-too-big dresses, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
He was vaguely aware the microphone went flying as he pushed it away and raced down the aisle. She met him halfway and he clenched her to him.
Nicki’s heart pounded as the force of Luke’s kiss arched her neck. His arms had lifted her to him, pressed body to body, her feet dangling in her high-heeled shoes. But she held him just as fiercely.
Slowly their embrace became more languorous, deeper and passion-simmering, as their bodies were reminded of the time they’d been parted. They finally parted enough to look at each other, dazed with pleasure, and smiled together.
Luke whispered her name and Nicki wiped a smear of lipstick from his mouth.
He kissed her again, and small ripples of laughter came from around them, as well as sighs from more than a few of the women. Nicki knew how they felt…she knew what it was like to want a love that burned like the clearest flame, like the kind of love she’d found with Luke.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Luke said, putting his arm around her waist, holding her as close to him as possible. “Some of my colleagues have been saying that I’ve been distracted since returning to Chicago. Well I want you all to know it was for the best of reasons. I’d like to introduce my lovely fiancée, Nicole Johansson.”
She blushed at the pride in his voice and kissed him another time. They still would have to make decisions about their lives and where they’d live, but the only thing that really mattered was how much they loved each other.
And that was more than enough for forever.
Five months later
Nicki carefully hung the antique Edwardian dress on a hanger and put it in the closet. She smiled and stroked the soft lace of her white gown, memories tumbling through her of the garden wedding and kisses and promises made to be kept forever.
“Come out of there, Mrs. McCade,” Luke called from the bedroom. “I thought we solved that shy virgin business. And I’m in need of my wife.”
She smiled, remembering their wedding night. Though hardly meek or a virgin, she’d found herself hiding in the closet, worried that the see-through nightgown Sherrie had given her at the bridal shower would seem too…see-through. Luke had dispelled any concerns she had on the matter by appearing stark naked and demanding she “get into the same condition pronto.”
Nicki stepped from the closet and smiled at her husband sprawled across their king-sized bed. They’d had several fights in the weeks since they’d gotten married, but they always made up before going to sleep. Actually, they always made up several times before going to sleep. She sometimes thought Luke picked fights because he liked the reconciliation so much.
He stuck his chin out like a small, pouting boy. “My toe hurts.”
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have tried dancing the Watusi with Mrs. Handelmeir,” she said, leaning down and inspecting his injury.
“It wasn’t exactly the Watusi. And we would have been okay if Bart hadn’t run over my foot with his wheelchair. That man is a menace. I wonder how he ever got a pilot’s license.”
“He has his days.” She soothingly stroked his toe and kissed the bruised appendage. Glancing upward, she saw Luke’s breathing had quickened and his gaze was focused on her low-cut nightdress. She smiled to herself; he wasn’t thinking about his pain any longer.
“It occurred to me that this is our second wedding night,” he murmured. “So we should take full advantage of it.”
“How do you figure it’s the second?”
“We just came from a second wedding reception, that’s how.”
They’d been married in mid-September, when the garden was at its last, glorious burst of life before the coming of fall. She had wanted to invite her friends at the nursing home, but there wasn’t room in the garden for everyone. So, when they’d found the right time, they dressed in their wedding finery and took a reception to the nursing home.
“That was a nice idea you had,” she whispered, curling next to Luke on the bed. “Throwing a party for everyone.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
Nicki just shook her head and laced her fingers through her husband’s. Luke tried to act all tough, but she knew better. Tough guys didn’t dance the Watusi with ninety-year-old schoolteachers. And they didn’t surprise their wives with silver cat jewelry and roses on the pillows. Or with root-beer floats at two in the morning.
“I feel funny about John going to California for so long,” she murmured. “Maybe we should call and see how he’s doing.”
“Sherrie is more than capable of keeping Granddad out of trouble,” Luke said, stroking her thigh. “Besides, you know what he said. He wants us to have some time to ourselves. Oh, and remember he wants you to call him Granddad.”
She gazed at the fire crackling on the hearth. John McCade had asked them to move into the house. It was too big for him, he’d declared, and he wanted to be there when his great-grandchildren were born. After they agreed, he’d arranged to have the master suite enlarged for them, moved to a bedroom on the opposite side of the house to give them privacy and then promptly left for California on an extended visit.
“I miss him,” she murmured.
“I know. I do, too.”
Luke held his wife closer and kissed the top of her head. His good fortune never failed to amaze him. Nicki had a wealth of love to give and she gave it with unstinting generosity. His parents adored her, his grandfather thought she walked on water and he was in heaven.
The life he’d never thought he wanted was now the standard by which he measured everything else.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, easing the thin straps of her nightgown down her arms.
“Is that what you call it?” Nicki asked, smiling as she lifted her hips so he could dispose of the gown entirely.
Luke looked at her pert breasts, golden in the reflected firelight, and couldn’t think at all for a moment. “Uh…yeah.”
“What have you been thinking?”
“Oh.” He kissed one of her nipples. “I’ve…um…been thinking we should get a minivan.”
“A minivan?” Nicki asked, sounding astonished.
“Yes, a minivan. We’re going to need it when we start car-pooling the kids to school.”
Nicki’s laugh turned into a sensual sigh as her husband caressed her. “We won’t need a minivan for years. I’m not even pregnant.”
“You could be. We could take care of that little task tonight.”
“And here I thought you’d want to wait before we started our family.”
Luke looked perfectly confused. “Why would we wait?”
“Why indeed?” she whispered, pulling his head down for a long, passionate kiss.
Life just got better and better.