Five

Ramon was gone in the morning.

Of course, it was because she’d slept long past sunrise. Isabel yawned and fought the urge to close her eyes again. She was weary, embarrassingly so, considering how long she had been in bed. Still, waking up wasn’t simple. Her belly rumbled and she fought her way past the clouds of fatigue pressing her down. With a soft moan, she rolled over and sat up.

The moment she did, her eyes widened as pain went shooting through her. It raced along her side and through her belly, and a groan got past her lips before she clamped her mouth shut.

Being handled roughly did not agree with her, it seemed.

As if it would agree with anyone…

She shuddered; moving across more than just her skin, it felt as though it were soul deep. Her mouth went dry at the memory of Jacques’s eyes when he’d looked at her.

The man was a demon.

No, she wouldn’t give him that sort of hold over her. He was just a man. A bad one, but flesh nonetheless.

She shrugged into her over robe and combed out her hair. A sense of urgency was making her clumsy and the comb clattered to the stone floor.

There was a rap on the door before the small window set into it slid open.

“I will send your nurse up, lady.”

Isabel jumped but the man wasn’t looking into the chamber. She caught only a glimpse of the back of his head before the window slid back into place.

There was someone guarding her door?

It prickled her pride. Yet, at the same time, she would be lying if she didn’t admit that knowing the man was there calmed her.

She snorted as she picked up the comb.

She would not turn into a mouse, frightened of the world because of some misfortune. It was hardly the first time fate had delivered a blow that sent her reeling.

“Look at you…” Mildred said as she entered the chamber. “You should be in bed…what with the ordeal you’ve been through.”

“I have wasted enough daylight today,” Isabel said firmly. “Yet I am glad to have you here to tie my laces.”

She turned around so Mildred could secure her over gown, but her nurse was moving to the large chest sitting against the wall.

“You’ll be wanting something finer for your wedding.”

Mildred fit one of the large keys hanging from her girdle into the lock on the chest. It groaned when she turned it; the chest hadn’t been opened for a long time.

“I do not need any finery. There is not going to be a wedding.” Isabel wasn’t certain she thought about the words before they crossed her lips. A shudder shook her again and she was very sure that she wanted nothing to do with being bound to a man in the eyes of the church.

“I would like to know the reason,” Mildred declared as she turned and propped her hands on her hips.

“As would I.”

Awareness rippled through her as Ramon’s voice filled the chamber. His tone was low and tightly controlled. She turned to face him as he lifted his hand and gestured Mildred toward the door.

“Your mistress and I have important matters to discuss.”

Mildred started toward the door with a firm expression of agreement on her face.

“Wait… I need to be laced.”

“You slept in my embrace, Isabel. I am well aware of your body.”

She sucked in a harsh, shocked breath. She looked back at Mildred, beseeching her to remain, but her nurse paused in the doorway and sent her a stern look.

“’Tis best you come to an agreement,” Mildred said with a clear tone of expectation. She turned and the man guarding the door shut it.

“That was harshly spoken,” Isabel reprimanded. “More so than necessary, I think.”

“Not so if you intend to persist in your stubborn desire not to wed.”

Ramon was standing near the door. The sight of him sent a curl of heat through her belly.

Sweet Mother of Christ! What would it take to end her lusting for the man?

Her cheeks burned scarlet when she answered her own question.

Ramon’s dark gaze narrowed. “You blush for me, Isabel.”

“I know,” she conceded. She turned and walked away from him, feeling him too keenly.

He followed her, his steps slow and measured. “And you sought my embrace for solace and comfort.” He stepped to the side, blocking her path when she tried to go around him. “And I enjoyed having you against me.”

Her breath froze, her heart hammered inside her chest. His dark eyes were lit with determination and it stroked something inside her that felt very much like enjoyment. She had never felt so desired by a man before.

“Jacques Raeburn bought himself a baron’s title. He will not be content with your escape. Voice your objections to our match. We must come to an agreement.” The glint in his eyes was a warning one. He was not in the mood to be bested by her.

“He bought it?” She shook her head with distaste.

“Aye.” Ramon’s tone matched hers. “His men are brutal and often more like villains than Crusaders. But Richard cannot Crusade without gold. There are a great many sins that can be forgiven when money is being provided to keep the Crusades going. Thistle Keep is the next prize Jacques plans to add to his coffers. Why will you not wed me?”

“I have had a belly full of being a possession. A wife is the property of her husband. I would simply stay…free.” She should have been more cautious and held her tongue but with Ramon, self-control seemed nearly impossible. His eyes narrowed and guilt chewed on her. “You are right to think me harsh. Yet I cannot reconcile myself to wedding.”

He closed the remaining distance between them. “You are drawn to me.”

She shifted, overwhelmed by the way he saw through her. Her cheeks stung once more and her lips tingled with anticipation.

Drawn?…she craved him.

He chuckled and stroked one scarlet cheek. “There is but one way for this passion to cool, Isabel. I would wed you first. So neither of us need feel shamed by our passions.”

“You honor me…” But she shifted away, feeling trapped.

“Yet you do not trust me not to turn mean once the vows are consummated.” He wasn’t asking her. She turned and discovered him watching her with a knowing look on his face.

“I know you feel it an insult for me to think such a thing, yet would you have me lie to you? I am being herded into this by fate and unkind circumstance.”

She was being bold and probably foolish for voicing her emotions. He was still strong, both in body and in the army he commanded. Many would advise her to make the best of her position.

To do so would allow her to indulge her cravings for him.

But to what end?

She honestly didn’t know.

“I would have you trust me,” Ramon said.

A memory surfaced.

“Do you trust me not to cuckold you as your first wife did?” she asked. “Or shall your man be posted to guard over me?”

Ramon drew in a sharp breath. “You are combining two issues to make your point. My man is posted because you disobeyed me and left the keep without an escort. Argue against the need and I will tell you to look at the scabs around your wrists.”

She looked down, unable to avoid looking at the dried blood on her wrists. Dark bruises decorated her forearms as well. She pressed her lips into a hard line of frustration.

“I have known you for only a short time. Why must you press me for vows? Can we not…court?”

“We are past the age of courting,” Ramon grunted. “I fight to keep my hands from you, more so because I see desire in your eyes to touch me back. I have never faltered, yet you test my devotion to not take you to my bed until our union is blessed.”

That wasn’t what she’d expected to hear.

“You look surprised,” he said.

“I am,” she answered.

“You doubt your own appeal?”

She shook her head. “I am surprised how differently your admission makes me feel than Jacques’s.”

Like night and day.

One made her flesh crawl, the other set her heart racing.

His lips twitched into a wolfish grin. He leaned forward and hooked his arm around her, pulling her into his embrace in a swift motion that left her breathless. She flattened her hands against his chest, feeling his hardened flesh. The faint vibration of his heartbeat teased her fingertips.

She didn’t want to resist. “You test me, it’s true, and I find it most pleasing.”

His expression became one of wonder. For a moment, it was as though she were seeing something that he hid from everyone else. It felt…intimate. Like a part of himself that he never showed because he couldn’t appear needy.

She wanted to kiss him, the way Rauxana had kissed Jacques.

Ramon leaned down to press his lips against hers, cupping her nape, but Isabel smoothed her hands down his chest, stunning him. He hesitated for a moment, watching her. Something stirred inside her, a sensation she wasn’t sure she understood.

But she liked it.

She stroked her way back to the center of his chest, shivering as her fingertips registered how hard his body was beneath his tunic. Ramon closed his eyes to slits, a rumble escaping his lips.

This time, the sensation was strong and it filled her with confidence. She smoothed her hand up to where his tunic ended and she was able to stroke his bare skin. He stiffened but lifted his chin so that she might trail her fingers along the firm column of his throat. His skin was smooth, and beneath it more firm muscle.

A pulse began to throb between her thighs, but this time she welcomed it because it only added to the passion sweeping her into something she craved.

Might it be ecstasy?

She didn’t know what that was, but she couldn’t stop.

Wouldn’t stop.

She pressed herself up against him, shuddering at the hard contact. She refused to let her lower back curl away from completing the embrace. The contact was jarring, a soft sound rising from her as she discovered the hard shape of his member pressing against her belly.

It didn’t leave her cold.

Not sure when she had closed her eyes, she opened them to discover Ramon watching her. His dark eyes glittered with passion but it didn’t make her cringe. There was something else there, a need that somehow set them on equal footing.

Of course, such a thing was not possible, but she didn’t want to think rationally. No, she didn’t want to think; in fact, she was going to ensure that she didn’t have to.

“Kiss me, Ramon.”

His lips parted in a satisfied grin before he tilted his head and leaned forward.

But he didn’t give her what she’d asked for. He pressed a kiss against her jawline, then another and another. All of them soft, slow motions that twisted her insides. Impatience was welling up from that knot of need burning in her belly. She moved, rotating her hips as Rauxana had done.

She gasped as pleasure shot through her. Ramon lifted his head and studied her face.

“I would like to know the reason behind your new boldness, Isabel…” His gaze lowered to her mouth. “But I have not the discipline to listen to explanations just now.”

His grip tightened on her nape and he completed the kiss this time. The kiss was hard, but excitement leaped inside her. She mimicked his motions, taking his lead. He pressed her mouth open, growling when their tongues met for the first time. She shuddered but moved onto her toes so that she might kiss him hard in return. There was a desperation clawing at her, filling her with demands that were born from some instinct she hadn’t realized she possessed.

It was sinful, but that only increased the enjoyment. She wanted to fling herself into the churning sensation and let it wring her until…until…something burst.

Ramon suddenly set her back, gripping her biceps and lifting her off her feet so that he could move her away from him.

“Enough.” His tone was clipped and harsh. “As I said, you test me to break my personal vows. I would honor you, Isabel, above all others.”

Isabel withdrew from him, the sting of rejection burning away some of her intoxication. But the look on his face fascinated her. She would never have thought him a man who struggled to maintain control. Yet in that moment, she clearly witnessed a conflict warring within him.

He craved her as much as she did him.

The knowledge was balm for the sting and fuel for the brazenness brewing inside her. “’Tis not enough,” she argued. “You promised me ecstasy.”

He cupped her shoulder firmly and turned her around. A moment later, he was threading the laces through the eyelets on the back of her over robe. The fabric groaned because he tugged on the laces so hard.

“We will wed first.”

Isabel turned to find Ramon trying to convince himself as well as her.

“Now, Isabel.” He held out his hand.

But she went cold. All of the confidence and boldness froze as she recalled the words of the law. Everything, even her body, would become his.

“I cannot.” She choked on the words.

He ground out a curse. “Would you have me dishonor you?”

She tried to look away, but he stepped closer and pressed her back against the wall.

“Would you have me raise your robes and satisfy myself between your thighs without a care for your honor?” he growled. “You want it. You want me inside you.”

“I do,” she whispered, feeling like the admission scorched her lips because it was so sinful.

“Wed me,” he demanded.

“I will become chattel again.” Misery was twisting through her because she could see no resolution. “It is not the same for you. A few days is enough time for you to know if I raise your passions, but it is not truly enough time for trust to grow. Admit you have no true trust in me. Not yet. We barely know each other.”

“Aye, true trust takes more time to grow.” Ramon drew back, hooking his hands into his sword belt. His expression was tight, his dark eyes stormy. “I suppose I will win none of your favor if I say you should be content with the place the law says is yours in a marriage, either.”

Surprise flared through her. “You…agree?”

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “Nay, for I would have the blessing of the church so I may claim you. Yet I understand your argument.”

“Understand?” she asked incredulously. “Men and women do not understand one another. We are as different as the sun and moon.”

His lips twitched, rising into a small grin that banished some of the sternness from his visage.

“Aye. Yet you are not alone in feeling the weight of injustice on your shoulders.” He nodded. “I see Jacques Raeburn flying a baron’s pennant, the same honor I earned. I do not care to know it was my king who belittled what he bestowed on me by selling that same honor to another. Yet to my king, I am as duty bound as a wife is to her husband. I must take what he gives without complaint. My questions must be confined to private conversations with those I confide in.”

Her eyes widened. “I had never thought to hear a man say such.”

“I’m not sure I would have ever voiced such a personal complaint even to Ambrose. Yet with you, I discover myself at ease.”

She nodded, feeling some of the walls pressing in on her retracting. “I wouldn’t have told Mildred how I felt about taking a woman’s place. It would have been…well—”

“Too personal?” he questioned.

“Aye.”

Which left her looking into his eyes once more and feeling like they had a unique understanding.

Ramon reached out and cupped her chin. “Let us not be too demanding of the world, but content in knowing we have passion between us and an…ease when in private. It is far more than many have. Come with me to the church door. I would not act dishonorably toward you.” His lips curved with hunger. “And your touch makes me forget my good intentions.”

It was far more than any husband had to promise. “I am…torn.”

It was the kindest reply she could make. He deserved more from her, had earned it. Guilt slammed into her with the force of a winter storm.

“I have known you but a few days.” She was pleading, but not entirely sure with whom. Herself or him? “I would not have you think me fickle.”

He suddenly grinned at her. “I think many things of you, and most of them make me want to haul you to the church over my shoulder so that I may get down to the business of immersing myself in your sweet flesh. You are not fickle, merely…wise. Yet I know what it is I crave, and the knowledge is nearly undoing me.”

He moved toward her, pinning her against the wall and kissing her until she was breathless. Her heart was hammering as he boldly cupped one of her breasts, stroking her beaded nipple with his thumb. She arched toward him, pressing her flesh into his hand.

“And you crave what I’ve promised you.” He pulled back. It felt as though he were ripped from her.

“I will satisfy you, Isabel. Yet I crave trust from you almost as much. You wish to be courted? Then prepare to have yourself held under siege until you surrender to temptation. Such is the only sort of engagement I know how to conduct.”

He left her sagging against the wall, his challenge ringing in her ears.

And passion burning in her belly.

Never before had she realized that an honorable knight might be so hated a creature.

For in that moment, she loathed the chivalric code.

* * *

“I would have thought you’d be at church,” Ambrose remarked.

“I would like nothing else.”

Men were hauling stone into the courtyard. Sweat glistened on their brows as they stripped down to under tunics to move the heavy load. Larger foundation stones had been dragged up with teams of horses, one at a time, to form the foundation of what would become a second keep. A wall would be built between them the following season.

Ambrose took a long look at Ramon before he chuckled. “The lady proves herself resistant to your charms?”

“Tread carefully, Ambrose.” Ramon closed his hand into a fist and sent it into his opposite palm. “I could use a good fight.”

“Aye, I see the need for release burning in you sure enough.”

Ramon popped his knuckles.

Ambrose threw his head back and laughed. “And to think…the lady is such a dainty thing to look upon… Yet she has you by the balls.”

“The day may come when retribution is mine, and I shall recall quite clearly how much amusement you are enjoying at my expense.”

Ambrose turned and flattened his hand over his chest. “Unlike you, my friend, my heart has room for many, many, and even many more lovelies. God has not made a single lady who can satisfy me.”

“You may hope so, for when you face her, you will wish you had not tempted the Creator to test you.”

Ambrose threw his arms wide. “I await all temptations!”

Two women nearby giggled. Ambrose looked at them and curled his arm so that his bicep bulged. They smiled, their expressions turning carnal.

Ramon turned away. He wanted something different. No one was more surprised than he was, but Isabel’s scent was clinging to him, stirring his cock, and no other woman would satisfy him.

So he would just have to make sure the lady suffered as greatly as he. He would have her, but conceded that trust needed time to grow. So he would give her until sunset before pressing her again.

His cock throbbed, proving it was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Ramon was watching her.

Isabel snorted. Nearly everyone at Thistle Keep was eyeing her, yet it was the baron’s dark gaze that she noticed. She could feel it.

When she crossed the yard, he watched her. She suddenly realized her hips were swaying as Rauxana’s had.

By supper, she was on edge, exhausted by the way her body heated and cooled. She fled to her chamber and brushed out her hair before Ramon finished his meal. At last sleep claimed her, granting her a shred of mercy.

But it was only a small reprieve. She woke a few hours later, darkness close around her. She still felt Ramon near her. His scent and the sound of his even breathing touched her senses. She tried to fall back to sleep but her mind refused. She was awake, unable to quiet her thoughts.

“You suffer needlessly, Isabel.” Ramon lifted his head and rolled toward her. The window shutters were still open, allowing the moonlight to glitter off his eyes.

“I am simply—”

“Aroused,” he interrupted. “Something you need not suffer.”

He leaned down and smothered her protest beneath his lips.

In truth, she didn’t have any words of protest in her. There was only need and craving, and Ramon was what she hungered for. The night seemed like a cloak, shielding them from everything except one another.

She reached for him, opening her mouth to let him deepen the kiss. He teased her lower lip with a longer sweep of his tongue before seeking hers. She arched toward him, the carnal nature of the kiss snapping through her. It broke through the last of her inhibitions, and she purred when she encountered his swollen member.

Thick and long.

It was hard against her belly as he pressed her down onto her back and trailed his kisses down her neck.

She remembered what it looked like.

But now, the image was a welcome one. Her passage was needy. She rolled toward him, pressing her body to his. For a moment, the connection pleased her, sending a rush of enjoyment through her, but it wasn’t enough. She yearned for a deeper connection.

Ramon didn’t disappoint. He ran his hands down her, boldly cupping her breasts through the thin, worn fabric of the chemise. She groaned and opened her eyes, surprised to hear such a carnal sound coming from her own lips.

Ramon chuckled. “Sinful or not, I enjoy hearing such things from you.” He lifted his head for a moment, capturing her gaze. “And knowing my touch is responsible.”

He was still holding her breast, massaging the tender globe. Pleasure surged through her. She arched, unable to remain still. Somehow, she’d never noticed how sensitive her skin truly was or how much she wanted to be stroked.

Ramon stroked her, his hands unleashing a delight that left her breathless. From her breasts and down across her belly and farther still, until he cupped the mound of her sex.

She cried out, unable to contain the swirling mass of sensation he was stirring inside her. She was alive with impulses. To move, to stretch toward him, to seek…something.

“Aye…anything but cold,” he said.

She opened her eyes, trying to focus on his words, but her thoughts were clouded, her lips dry and unwilling to form a reply.

Ramon didn’t let her. He pressed a kiss against her lips and boldly thrust his tongue inside her mouth. She writhed, reaching for him and twisting her fingers into his hair. He wasn’t close enough. She needed to be…something.

Instinct offered the answer. She thrust her hips toward him and sighed when she felt the hard shape of his member.

But he pressed her back, rubbing her belly with one large hand before venturing lower again. He tugged her chemise up, baring her naked body. The touch of the night air was blissful relief from the heat blistering her. A moment later, his fingers stroked her sex, sending a jolt of sensation through her passage.

She broke away from his kiss but he pressed her down on her back with the weight of his body.

“I will show you ecstasy, Isabel…”

She licked her dry lips, shocked by the fact that he was touching her in so forbidden a place, but gasping because it felt so very good. Somehow, she’d never truly understood the meaning of the word delight, because what his fingers were sending through her flesh was more enjoyable than anything she had ever experienced.

He dipped his fingers between the folds of her flesh and growled. “Your body welcomes me…”

When he drew his fingers back to the top of her slit, they were moist. She shuddered, clawing at the bedding, needing release.

But she had no idea how to gain it.

“Show me.” Her voice was raspy and almost unrecognizable. He looked at her and the breath froze in her chest as she saw the look in his eyes.

It was a savageness, but a welcome one. A burning need that existed only between them. He bared his teeth at her and plunged his fingers into her sex.

“As you demand…”

She cried out, losing the will to keep her eyes open. The only thing that mattered was the motion of his fingers. In and out. He worked two of them against the troubling point hidden at the top of her sex, drawing more of her juices from the opening to her passage as he went.

“Yes…” It wasn’t really a word, but more of a sound. She twisted and strained toward him, her thighs clamping around his forearm. Everything was spinning, sweat dotting her brow in spite of the coolness of the night. Her heart beat frantically inside her chest, like a bird trying to escape a cage.

Yet it wasn’t enough, not just yet. She lifted her hips, and her hands twisted in the bedding as her entire body was tightening beneath Ramon’s fingers. Every thrust sent a new bolt of pleasure through her, and her only thought was to gain another and another and another, until she burst.

She shuddered, caught in a moment of pure rapture. The intensity held her like a vise, squeezing the breath from her as she moaned with delight. It twisted through her, burning away the hunger and dropping her back into reality, with the rich glow of satisfaction warming her. She couldn’t move, except to drag in deep, hard breaths to feed her burning lungs.

Ramon pressed a tender kiss against her temple, his scent filling her senses and bringing her another measure of satisfaction. It was bliss, like she’d never expected to feel.

He withdrew from her and lowered her chemise. The bed rocked as he settled back to lie beside her. The moments moved by, seeming long and drawn out as slumber tried to pull her down into its embrace.

But she resisted, needled by the fact that she had given nothing in return. She rolled toward him.

“Sleep, Isabel.” He turned his head to look at her in the dark. “I know you want to now.” She did, but his expression was tight once more.

He craves what he just gave you…

Of course he did. She rolled her lips in and moistened them, because she realized that she wanted to please him. She moved onto her side, shifting her legs so that her thigh brushed his.

“Yet you are unsatisfied…”

He rose and pressed her back, cupping her shoulder with a firm grip before he buried his face in the nest of her hair and inhaled.

“Aye,” he confessed, his breath warming her neck.

He settled onto his back, the bed ropes groaning. “You are not the only one who wishes to maintain their sense of what they are. I am a knight. You are a lady I wish to wed. I will not dishonor you.”

He turned his head and reached out to stroke her jaw with one finger. She shivered. “When I lie with you, it will be as your husband.”

He drew in a stiff breath and settled, sounding as though he was pressing his back into the mattress.

“Yet now you know what ecstasy is and that nothing but lying with me will truly satisfy you.” There was a hint of smugness in his tone, but what rang in her ears was the warning.

She very much feared she was going to learn exactly what he meant.