‘Bartha’

13 Torrington Road

Tooting

London

Pinkerton’s Talent Agency

Dean Street

Soho

London

29th December

Dear Ms Pinkerton,

I’m not sure if you remember me, but my husband Bute Crawley (a character actor of some repute) and I met you at a benefit for the Distressed Actors’ Benevolent Fund at the Wyndham Theatre a couple of years ago.

I’ve recently discovered that we have a mutual acquaintance, one Rebecca Sharp, employed by my dear brother-in-law, Sir Pitt Crawley, as nanny to his five children by his second wife. In fact, I understand that it was through your auspices that Rebecca came to work for Sir Pitt.

Rebecca has now left poor Sir Pitt in the lurch by decamping to London with my darling sister-in-law Dame Matilda Crawley. It transpires that we know nothing of Rebecca, Sir Pitt had no references from you, and so I’m writing to ask for some background on Miss Sharp.

It would be very helpful to ascertain how you first came to know her, her family background and previous employment. A quick Google search would suggest that she recently appeared on a reality-TV show (Bute and I are not at all familiar with this dreadful genre) where she spent eight weeks gallivanting about in a bikini with the most appalling people.

Dame Matilda, as I’m sure you know, is getting on and, strictly entre nous, appears to be suffering from the early symptoms of dementia, so I would hate to think that she might be taken advantage of by anyone unscrupulous.

I’m sure you understand my concerns and hope that you can allay my fears. I also hope that you will treat this delicate matter with the utmost discretion.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards

Martha Crawley (Mrs)