FLO WALKED SWIFTLY through the Palace.
There was no IV cupboard to hide away in this time.
No other staff she could call on to cover for her.
There was the Palace doctor, of course, but she would never let down her friend.
She had to push aside what had happened.
It was hard to, though.
Flo wanted to pause and have a cry, or to catch her breath.
A few moments ago she had been in his arms, locked in bliss...
As Flo walked through the grand entrance towards the leaders’ wing she ignored the portraits, yet it felt as if Petra’s eyes were following her.
‘Have him!’ Flo said out loud, to the bemusement of two guards who stood at the foot of the stairs.
And with that small outburst she did what she could to let it go.
She would examine her pain later but right now she had Maggie to focus on.
Flo loved her job. As she climbed the staircase and entered the Royal wing that housed Maggie and Ilyas, she drew on that fact. This was about Maggie and being with her as she brought life into the world.
Flo put on a smile and walked into the Royal suite. Maggie was leaning against Ilyas and deep in the midst of a contraction.
Flo went over and felt the strength of the contraction. ‘How long have you been having them?’ Flo asked.
‘Since Ilyas got back from seeing Hazin.’
‘Maggie!’ Ilyas said in slight reprimand and then addressed Flo. ‘I think she started to have them when I was about to go and speak with my brother. I told her I could speak to Hazin at another time, but Maggie insisted she was fine.’
‘So since around seven,’ Flo checked, and Maggie nodded.
It was now just coming up for midnight.
Flo got Maggie up onto the bed and gave her a gentle exam to see how far along things were.
‘Should we call the Palace doctor to come?’ Ilyas asked.
‘You can call if you would prefer to,’ Flo said, ‘but he’ll be around for quite some time.’ She smiled at Maggie. ‘You’re three centimetres dilated.’
‘Three?’ Maggie’s voice was a touch incensed. ‘That’s it?’
‘That’s excellent,’ Flo said, in positive midwife-speak, but Maggie didn’t want to hear it!
‘How can I only be three centimetres dilated?’ As another contraction hit she started to moan. ‘How bad is it going to be?’
‘It’s going to be absolutely fine,’ Flo assured her.
Flo let the Palace doctor know what was happening and he came and checked on Maggie, but was very affable and understood her desire for as much privacy as possible during the first stage. Flo assured him she would call when things had moved along, or if she had any concerns in the interim.
Ilyas suggested that Maggie lie down for a while and try to relax, and when Maggie agreed Flo thought it best to leave them to it for now. There was an area outside the main bedroom, once used for maids and such, but tonight it served as Flo’s staffroom.
She made a huge mug of tea and curled up in a chair, keeping her thoughts on Maggie, rather than dwelling on Hazin.
It was too hard to do both.
Her broken heart would be there waiting at the other end of the birth, so for now she pushed it aside and focused on Maggie and the baby soon to be born.
Maggie dozed between contractions and then had a bath, and as she climbed out her waters broke.
‘I was so worried it would happen on the stage...’
‘I know you were.’ Flo smiled as she listened to the baby’s heart rate. ‘Your baby is behaving beautifully for you.’
The contractions strengthened and started coming closer together and when even the huge bedroom felt confined, they moved out onto the balcony as the dawn broke.
‘What a beautiful day to have a baby,’ Flo said.
A Christmas baby.
It was magic.
Somehow Christmas always was.
Even last year when she’d been so low, it had been a wonderful family day.
And on this one she would deliver her best friend’s child.
Or the Palace doctor would.
But Flo got to do this part.
This lovely part where the world was all hushed as Maggie leant on the stone wall and tried to breathe through the pain. The contractions were coming close together now and Maggie was finding them overwhelming.
‘You are doing so well,’ Ilyas said in his deep voice.
He wasn’t staid, Flo decided. In fact, he was incredibly stoic and calm and exactly what Maggie needed.
As Maggie groaned, Ilyas put his hand on the small of his wife’s back and massaged her there as Flo had shown him, but now it did not appease her and she pushed his hand off.
‘Go and get Flo her present,’ Maggie said, and Ilyas frowned.
‘Now?’
‘Yes, now,’ Maggie said, and her voice was urgent.
Flo knew things were moving along, just by her friend’s need to set the world to rights.
‘I thought you’d forgone Christmas,’ Flo said.
‘Not for you.’
And that touched her heart, because they were such good friends and while it wasn’t a big deal to Maggie, it was to Flo. She smiled as Ilyas returned to the balcony with a beautifully wrapped gift.
‘Open it,’ Maggie ordered.
It was a hammam towel and a gorgeous glass bottle of oil that smelled the same as the one the maids had applied to her hair.
‘They’re gorgeous,’ Flo said. ‘Thank you so much.’ But Maggie still wasn’t appeased.
‘Read the card!’ Maggie shouted.
Flo loved a woman in transition!
The dominatrix effect, she jokingly called it, and gave Ilyas a smile.
But then, when she did as she was told and read her card, Flo felt tears well in her eyes.
Dear Flo,
Any time you need a spa day, know that I do too and that the hammam awaits. I still can’t get used to being rich, but you can come here whenever you want, even for a weekend.
We are best friends and we need our spa days,
Maggie xxx
Flo had wondered if things might change between them, and if Maggie being a princess might somehow be the end of their friendship. Over and over she had told herself it would not and had reminded herself that this was Maggie. Yet at times she had doubted and worried, and Maggie had clearly understood that she might.
It meant so much.
‘Thank you,’ Flo said. ‘I shall be sure and use my gift often.’
‘Well, make sure you do!’ Maggie snarled, but then she wavered as her body took over. ‘I want to push.’
‘Then do.’
For an hour or so more it was still just the three of them. Maggie moved onto the bed and asked for darkness so Flo closed the drapes on the gorgeous day, and with just the sidelights they got down to the gritty end of birth.
Pushing was hard and exhausting work, but Maggie got the hang of it and real progress was being made.
‘I’m going to call for the doctor,’ Flo said, and as Ilyas encouraged his wife, Flo made the call and opened up the delivery pack.
‘Another push,’ Flo said. ‘You are so close to meeting your baby, Maggie...’ She looked up and smiled as the doctor and elder came in.
The elder was lovely and he went and sat where Flo had throughout the night drunk an awful lot of tea. The doctor too was charming and did not rush to take over.
It was just a gorgeous, natural birth and as Ilyas held Maggie’s leg, Flo held the other and then hugged her friend through the very end of it as Ilyas watched his son being born.
He really was a beautiful baby.
Long-limbed and with a lusty cry, he was delivered onto Maggie’s stomach and Ilyas cut the cord.
‘I’ve got a son,’ Maggie said, and though they had all already known that the baby would be a boy, it was wonderful to watch her friend’s pure joy that her son was here.
Flo covered them in a blanket so the baby lay on his mother’s chest, and his cries soon faded. He had a little feed, which helped with the delivery of the placenta.
And there was still no rush, there was plenty of skin-to-skin time before the doctor asked for him to be brought over so he could be checked.
He really was perfect. With huge dark blue eyes and thick black hair, he was the image of his father.
‘Your son is very healthy,’ the doctor said, and Flo wrapped the little man up and handed him to Ilyas.
Often, first-time fathers were awkward, but Ilyas was confident and held him close as he carried him over to Maggie.
It was a lovely family moment, so as the elder and doctor went to inform the King and Queen of the birth of their first grandchild, Flo stepped out onto the balcony to give them some time alone.
And for some time alone for herself too.
Now that the baby was safely here and the intensity of the past hours was fading, Flo could feel anew the hurt that had propelled her from Hazin’s bed.
She closed her eyes on the bright mid-morning sun because tears were dangerously close.
She was thrilled for Maggie, absolutely so, yet Flo ached, she just ached because it felt like a knife was twisting in her gut at another appalling mistake made in the romance department.
Maybe she should be more like Maggie and be mistrusting of people. Instead, she was like that bloody eager Labrador, jumping whenever the master called.
No more.
She was through.
Of course, she would stay for the rest of her leave and she would return often, because there was no way she would let Hazin affect her friendship with Maggie. But as for Hazin she was done.
Flo was angry and hurt and felt cold to the bone.
But there was still work to be done so she pressed her fingers to her temples and took in a deep breath before heading back inside.
‘Where’s Ilyas?’ Flo asked when she saw Maggie alone, holding the baby.
‘He wanted to speak with his parents and not just leave it to the elder.’
‘Do you think they’ll come and see him?’
‘I don’t know,’ Maggie admitted. ‘I don’t think they took any interest at all in their children, but things do seem better since we married.’
‘Well, let me get you tidied up just in case,’ Flo suggested.
It was all very seamless.
With no expense spared, the room had been very well prepared for the Royal birth. Flo soon had all the equipment moved out, and the new mother sitting up in a fresh bed and gown, holding her baby.
‘How are you feeling?’ Flo asked.
‘So happy,’ Maggie said, and looked down at her sleeping son. ‘He looks so like Ilyas.’
‘He does. I certainly didn’t smuggle him in under my robe.’ Flo smiled. ‘He’s definitely his father’s son. Do you have a name?’
‘We like Bassam,’ Maggie said, and then looked up at her friend. ‘Thanks for being here, Flo.’
‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’
‘After Mum died I never thought I’d love Christmas again,’ Maggie admitted. ‘But now I want him to know the same magic that I had growing up. I haven’t even got him a present...’
‘I have,’ Flo said. ‘I got a few extra bits too and they’re all wrapped and waiting.’
Christmas was back.
At least, it was for Maggie.
Flo was beyond tired and looking forward to crawling into bed and pulling the sheets over her head until the day was done.
But that wasn’t an option yet.
She didn’t want to leave Maggie until she was ready for a long sleep, but that wasn’t about to happen as Ilyas returned and informed her that his parents did indeed want to visit.
It was both surprising and nice to see them make an effort. They didn’t stay for long, but the Queen even had a small hold of the little baby.
‘Congratulations,’ King Ahmed said. ‘Have you chosen a name?’
Flo watched as Maggie went to respond but Ilyas cut in. ‘We are still deciding.’ For whatever reason, Ilyas didn’t want to share that particular piece of news just yet, Flo guessed. When the Queen looked over at her, Flo went over and took the baby as Ilyas spoke on. ‘I have asked the palace elder, later today, to announce the birth of a healthy son. That is news enough for now.’
The King and Queen left, and with that visit over Maggie sank back on the pillows in relief.
‘I think he’s starting to get hungry,’ Flo said, and handed her back her son. But feeding time wasn’t going to happen just yet for there was another visitor.
‘Hi, Hazin,’ Maggie said, and Flo felt the colour drain from her cheeks.
She simply wasn’t ready to face him now, not that she could show it. The last thing Maggie needed was to pick up on even a hint of the tension between them.
It was hard not to show it, though.
Terribly hard, to stand with a fixed smile and pretend that this man had not hurt her deeply.
Hazin came over and gave Maggie a kiss on the cheek and then peered down at the baby.
‘He’s very cute,’ Hazin said, and Flo could hear his attempt to sound bright. He was as pale as he had been on the day he had given the speech. Beneath his eyes there were dark smudges and he looked as if he’d had just about as much sleep as she had.
‘Do you want to hold him?’ Maggie asked, but Hazin shook his head and politely declined.
‘No, thank you. I’m sure he needs his mother right now.’
‘Well, I think he’d like to meet his uncle,’ Maggie refuted, and held the little baby out.
Hazin rather awkwardly took the baby.
Flo didn’t want to look; she didn’t want Maggie to get even a hint of the hurt she carried today.
Yet she couldn’t not look.
Hazin gazed down at his nephew and watched as he struggled to focus in this very new world, but then Hazin lowered his head and their eyes met. ‘Hi, there,’ he said to the infant and did not take his eyes from him as he spoke to the proud parents. ‘Does he have a name?’
There was no evasion as there had been with the parents. ‘Bassam,’ Maggie answered, then Ilyas explained why they had chosen that name.
‘It means the one that smiles. It is what we both want for him.’
Hazin’s face crumpled a touch as he looked at the newborn and heard his new name.
Hazin didn’t cry as such, but it was this moment where all could see the pain that he’d kept hidden for so long. Here, today, for a brief moment, it was on show for all to see. Yet for all the pain of the past, there was so much hope for his nephew, who lay so tiny and yet so content in his arms, as if he already knew he was wanted and loved.
Flo went over, only because she was the midwife and could sense he was ready to hand the baby back. The less professional side of Flo could tell he was struggling to keep it together.
‘I’ll take him,’ she said, and as Hazin looked up she saw his eyes were glassy.
‘Thanks.’
It was an awkward transition—Flo, who could easily juggle twins on her lap while speaking on the phone, was suddenly all fingers and thumbs as he handed her the little bundle, but of course she clicked into working mode and seamlessly handed him back to his mother.
She could still feel the touch of Hazin’s hands on her skin and she had seen the despair in his eyes.
‘I’m going to go,’ Hazin said. He was a bit embarrassed by the brief slip of his mask so he again offered his congratulations and then left.
As the door closed, Maggie spoke to Ilyas about Hazin and his reaction to the baby. ‘He must have been thinking about Petra.’
Flo knew she was brilliant at her job then, because somehow she bit down on a very smart retort about Hazin thinking of Petra at inappropriate times!
And then her anger towards him simply faded.
There was just a hollow ache of sadness.
It wasn’t a vague ache, for it gnawed inside her and it felt like hunger.
But hunger she could rectify.
What had happened earlier she could not.
The baby was fed and settled and Maggie too, after a light meal, was ready to sleep. Flo was more exhausted than she had ever been.
Not just physically, she was utterly drained.
‘Why don’t you go and get some sleep, Flo?’ Ilyas suggested.
‘I’m going to.’ Flo nodded. ‘Wake me up when Maggie wakes and if the baby—’
‘Rest now, Flo,’ Ilyas said. ‘We have the palace doctor and there are two nursery nurses. You have been up all night and you need to sleep too.’
Flo nodded, because she knew he was right.
Over the next few days she would be hands on, helping Maggie with little Bassam, but right now she wanted to curl up in bed and just cry.
‘Thank you for everything,’ Ilyas said, and saw her outside.
She ached, and the walk through the Palace felt like a long one. The high of a successful delivery had faded and the rest of the world, her world, awaited—she just could not bear to face what had happened last night with Hazin.
She would deal with her thoughts later, Flo decided, for right now she was too depleted to think straight.
As she passed the portraits, very deliberately Flo kept her eyes fixed ahead and thought only of bed and sleep. Yet before that she had to ring her family and pretend, for the second year in a row, that everything was okay just so that she didn’t ruin their Christmas.
This time, though, she hurt way more than last year.
A married man had been awful.
A grieving widower hurt like hell.
And the sight of Hazin waiting for her as she turned the corner was not a sight she needed right now.
‘Not now.’ Flo was the one who said it this time and she put up her hands and attempted to just walk past.
‘Yes, now.’
‘No, because I’m too tired to be polite,’ Flo said. ‘And I don’t want to be mean...’
‘I don’t blame you if you are,’ Hazin said, ‘but, please, just hear me out.’