On his lunch break, Austin was checking in with Casey, holding the phone to his ear while eating a sandwich and trying not to chew too loud. After they talked about the custody case, she asked him how things were going at Miller's.
"Things are good. Miller is a great guy," Austin told her.
"He's had it rough, but it looks like things are getting better for him."
"For me too. You did a good thing bringing us together." As Casey made a surprised noise on the other end, Austin tried to backpedal. "I didn't mean together. Just, you know..."
"I know. Take it easy. You don't need to be weird about Miller being gay."
"I'm not," Austin said, getting offended. "What kind of guy do you think I am?"
"I didn't mean anything by it. Geez."
"Sorry. Ben was talking smack about Miller, and I'm still pissed off about it."
"You're a funny guy," she said.
Austin didn't see how he was being funny, but he didn't want to keep talking about it. What Ben told him when he visited was on his mind. He couldn't deny it. Ben's accusations didn't make him suspicious of Miller. He was sure the man didn't have a bad bone in his body. It was something else.
Ben said that Austin might have to pay back Miller the hard way, and since then his mind kept working over exactly what that might mean. At night images of Miller naked would come into his head, make him all sweaty under the covers so he had to kick them off.
Weird ideas came to him, like how Miller's cock might fill his mouth, what his come might taste like. Why would he even be thinking stuff like that? It was Ben's fault.
It happened over few nights, and it made him a little uncomfortable around Miller. Austin told himself that Miller couldn't read his mind, and just hoped he wouldn't notice anything was different.
That afternoon, when he came back from work, he saw that Miller was taking some painting supplies upstairs.
"What's this for?" Austin asked. "Should I get ready to do some painting?"
"Oh, no. I'm doing this myself. It's for the room next to yours. I'm getting it in shape, redecorating."
"We getting a new roommate?" Austin wondered.
Miller looked like he had to think about the answer. "Not new exactly."
Now Austin wondered if someone Miller knew was moving in. It wasn't happy news to him, but he tried not to be selfish. If Miller needed another roommate, Austin would just have to get used to it.
Another roommate shouldn't have been a surprise, but he did wonder why Miller was renting the room right next to Austin's when there were two others. The one next door didn't have its own bathroom either, and one of the others did.
It was Miller's house, he could do what he wanted. But Austin realized he liked how things had been with just him, Remi and Miller.
Next day at work, Austin worried about the new roommate, wondering who it was, how close they were to Miller. If this person would come between them.
That right there told Austin that he was depending on Miller too much, but he couldn't just ignore that things were about to change. He needed to stop wondering and find out more about who the new roommate was going to be.
Austin got home and found that Harriet had just put Remi to sleep. "He just missed seeing you come home," Harriet said as she was getting ready to leave. "Oh, Miller is next door. He's having trouble with something he's doing in there. Might need help."
Thinking that this was a good time to get some answers, Austin went to the room next door. He knocked lightly then opened the door to a big mess.
"What are you...?" Austin started to ask then he realized Miller was trying to put together a crib. "What is this?"
From the floor, Miller looked up, guilt written on his face. "Uhh, it's supposed to be a crib, but I'm having a little trouble with it." He gave a weak smile and clutched the instructions in a shaking hand.
"A crib?" Austin said.
"It's going in this room?" Miller said like it was a question. Biting his lip, he got up off the floor. "I... I thought if I didn't charge you any extra rent, you might take this room for Remi."
"You're putting a crib in here, and you didn't talk to me about it first?" Austin said his voice coming out low and angry.
"I wasn't sure you'd agree, but if I made it nice and you saw it was all ready..." Miller trailed off, and Austin knew it was because of the look in his eyes. He was pissed and he couldn't hide it.
Clenching his jaw and shaking his head, Austin walked away before he said something he would regret.
He checked on Remi then went outside. The walkway from the sidewalk to the side of the house was cracked and breaking up, pushed up by some roots. There was no way of fixing it. Austin went and got an old pickaxe from the shed and went to work. It was already so badly cracked, it didn't take much to break off chunks.
In no time, he worked up a sweat and got rid of some of the anger. He also had time to think it over, ask himself why he got so mad. He knew Miller meant well, but it made him feel like he was just a charity case to him. Like Miller didn't see him as a man who could stand on his own two feet.
Austin had cleared one section of the walkway, but he wanted to go check of the baby now. Using the hose outside to clean up then taking his shoes off, Austin went inside in his bare feet.
He found Miller upstairs, pacing the hallway. As he turned around and saw that Austin was back, he stopped short, looking startled.
"What did I catch you doing now?" Austin asked him.
"Just... Just pacing," Miller stammered. "I saw you working outside, but I was afraid to go out and talk to you."
"Afraid? Of me?"
Miller kind of nodded like he didn't want to give a straight answer. But the thought that he might have scared Miller made his shoulders slump and he let out a loud breath.
"I'm just frustrated with you," Austin told him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstep," Miller said.
"But you did. Pushing me around like I don't get a say where my kid sleeps." Austin took a deep breath. He didn't want to let anger get the better of him.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."
Austin could tell how upset he was so he stopped him. "You've done a lot for us already..."
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
"Why didn't you talk to me?" Austin asked.
"I... I was nervous about it. I wanted to set it all up to make it harder for you to say no."
"There's no need for all that. Remi is OK in my room," Austin told him.
"But it wouldn't add to your rent. The room is just sitting empty," Miller pointed out.
"I can't take an extra room for the same rent."
"Yes, you can. You do so much around here. You were just working outside. That work is worth real money. I don't have the money to put into fixing up the house. What you do helps me a lot."
"But you help me out too. You don't owe me anything."
"Well, think about Harriet and any other babysitter. They have to go into your bedroom to take care of Remi."
"You think that's a problem?" Austin said. He hadn't thought of that.
"I think it would be better to have a room just for Remi. Make it baby-safe for when he starts to crawl."
Austin sighed. "You make some good points, but..."
"Please. And help me put the crib together too. I meant to have it done before you got home, but it's harder than I expected. I don't want to mess it up."
"I didn't agree, you know," Austin pointed out.
Miller gave him a hopeful smile. "But you will for Remi."
"Damn. You sure can get pushy when you set your mind on something." Austin knew he was beaten. "Alright. But you'll have to line up some major jobs around the house for me."
"I will. I promise. But the first thing is the crib and then the puffy, light up stickers."
"The puffy what?"
"They are animal stickers that light up when you press on them. They go on the wall," Miller explained. "I was going to put them up then show you the room so you couldn't resist."
After Austin checked on Remi, he met Miller in the room next door. He showed Austin the puffy stickers in the shapes of different animals.
"You went all out. I guess you were real determined to give this room to Remi. And I was worrying who the new roommate would be."
"You don't need to worry about that. I'm not planning to rent out any more rooms. I got lucky with you and Remi. I don't want to end up with some kind of nightmare roommate."
"It's the two of us that lucked out," Austin said as he started putting the crib together after a quick glance at the instructions.
"Thanks for not being too mad," Miller told him. He was sitting on the floor next to Austin but not being much help. He hung his head. "I know I did this the wrong way."
"You did, but it's still nice of you. I'm going to pay you back for the crib and everything else."
"You're paying me back with work. We already agreed." Miller turned and frowned at him until Austin kind of backed down. Miller really was hard to refuse when he got serious.
"I think it will be nice for Remi to have a kid's room that's colorful and fun," Miller said like he was still trying to sell him on the idea.
"When I lived with my mom, I didn't usually get to have my own room," Austin said.
"I think I grew up spoiled, especially by my mom," Miller said.
Austin had noticed that he didn't mention his dad. Of course Austin didn't even know who his father was. He still asked Miller, "What about your dad?"
"My dad died when I was a baby. I don't remember him," Miller said sadly.
"Sorry," Austin told him and Miller gave him a small smile.
"I'm glad that you found out Remi was yours. Now he'll have his whole life to get to know you."
"What about your mom?" Austin asked. From the way Miller spoke about her, he had a feeling she might not be around.
Miller seemed to hold his breath before he said, "She died too. When I was a kid. I... I lived with my grandparents on my dad's side after that." Austin could tell how hard it was for him just to tell him that much so he didn't ask him any more about it.
He changed the subject. "I guess that baby monitor is going to get some serious use now," Austin said. "I got used to having Remi sleeping close by, now the room next door seems like a long way away."
"You don't have to put him here. You can keep him with you until you feel OK about it," Miller said.
"I want him to try out the new crib and those new sheets you got with bears in different hats." Austin pointed to the bear in the fireman hat, his favorite. "I can't believe how much trouble you went to."
"It was no trouble. And I know I took over, but there is still plenty left to add to the room."
"I'll do that, and I know you did all this because you care about Remi."
"I do," Miller said very seriously. "I'm glad you know that, and I won't get carried away again."
He just wouldn't stop feeling bad, but Austin didn't think he had been that hard on him. Miller was just sensitive and hard on himself.
Austin put his hands on Miller's shoulders and told him, "I'm not mad any more." He was surprised at how thick his voice sounded and then Miller looked into his eyes and Austin couldn't see anything else. He still had his hands on Miller's shoulders. Feeling a tremor, he wasn't sure if it was his hands that shook or if it was Miller.
Either way, he knew he had to let go, but it was hard for him to move.