Harriet left, Remi was napping and Miller realized he hadn't given dinner even a single thought. He was too preoccupied with the news that Austin still hadn't shared with him. Not that Miller was in a hurry to hear the words from him.
Austin did some work outside in the garden and took Remi, but Miller didn't join him, just paced his office. When Austin came in to feed the baby, he only grabbed a sandwich.
After that he disappeared upstairs and didn't come down even after it was well past Remi's bedtime. Miller wasn't sure if he'd see him for the rest of the night.
That meant he wouldn't have to hear about Diana tonight, but as he paced the living room instead of his office, Miller realized that he was only delaying the inevitable and going crazy waiting to hear Austin confirm that he was leaving.
Without even thinking about what he was doing, Miller went upstairs. Austin's door was closed so Miller knocked softly. He wanted to knock louder, more like a demand for Austin to open the door, but he was being quiet for Remi's sake.
Austin opened the door then stood in the doorway glaring at him silently.
"Are you mad at me for some reason?" Miller asked, incredulous. He was the one who had the right to be angry. Or did he? After all Austin never even hinted that there might be more between them than something casual and fleeting.
"Not here," Austin said as he looked toward Remi's room.
That was fine with Miller. He started to walk toward the stairs, but Austin had started to walk the other way, toward Miller's bedroom.
When Miller didn't follow, Austin turned to him, demanding, "You coming or what?"
Miller didn't understand why Austin wanted to go to his bedroom. Maybe he wanted to stay close to Remi. That was the only thing he could think of, because otherwise it seemed the worst possible place for Austin to tell him he was going back to his ex.
Miller opened the door to his bedroom and went in, turned the light on and then stood at the foot of his bed. He was surprised when Austin shut the door, but then there was a good chance of raised voices.
"You're mad at me, why exactly?" Miller asked showing Austin that he was angry too.
"I heard you," Austin gritted out.
"Heard me what?" Miller asked too loudly. It was insane that Austin would be mad when Miller was trying not to fall to pieces because of him.
"You and Lawrence making plans," Austin said in the same tight voice, like he was barely containing his fury.
Miller let out a bitter laugh. "Plans! You're talking about plans?" Miller took two steps toward him then stopped inches away, not knowing what he meant to do. He couldn't think straight. "Why should you care what I do? I'm nothing to you," he growled at Austin, his voice grating as he fought to keep it low.
Austin grabbed him by the arms. "I'm not playing with you. I don't know what you have with Lawrence and I don't care. It's over."
Miller tried to pull away. Now that Austin was telling him it was over, that he was finished with him, Miller didn't want to hear about him and Diana.
Austin didn't let him move though, only held onto him tighter. "Did you hear me? It's over with him."
"Him?" Miller said, confused. What was Austin saying?
"I'm not letting you go," he said and Miller just blinked at him.
What was he...? Miller didn't get a chance to ask. Austin was kissing him, not letting him think or breathe, just taking his mouth in a brutal kiss. Miller gave himself over to it and let Austin slam him down on the bed.
Austin's weight on top of him, Miller locked his legs around him. His tongue plunged in and met Miller's, tangled with it.
Miller was moaning, forgetting his confusion, letting his mind go blank and his body take over. He only wanted to feel, feel Austin. Miller's hands were caressing then squeezing, greedy to sink into his thick muscles.
But then Austin broke the kiss and looked down at him. "I... I don't know what I'm doing. I just need you."
"I need you too," Miller panted and pulled Austin down on top of him, kissing him, groping him, trying to get him out of his clothes.
Austin helped him out, ripping his own clothes off impatiently like he couldn't wait to get naked for him. Miller was next. His shirt came off then Austin hurriedly kissed his neck. Miller gasped, barely able to think as Austin yanked his jeans down.
He paused to stare down at how Miller's erection tented his boxers before those were off too, and Miller was left exposed, shuddering with such a deep need like he'd never felt before.
"You have lube and...?"
"Yes. Drawer," Miller said before Austin could finish asking.
"And you want...?"
"Yes, I want you," Miller said again and impatiently moved to open the bedside drawer himself.
"You stay put," Austin ordered him.
Miller dropped back on the bed, arms outstretched, knees up, and tried to just breathe. He never felt like this, this turned on, wanting someone so much, wanting him no matter what. "Austin," he whimpered.
"I'm here." Austin was back, leaning over him, kissing him.
Miller rose into the kiss and felt Austin's hand on the back of his head. Deepening the kiss, Austin got on top of him and Miller hugged him tight.
Austin's kiss was soon moving down his body. While his hands were rubbing down Miller's sides, Austin's mouth was heating up his skin. The licks and kisses stopped at his hip and then Austin nipped at his inner thigh but didn't touch his cock. He did rub his beard over his inner thigh and spread Miller's legs apart.
His other thigh got a kiss and a bite as Miller writhed. Lubing a finger, he propped up Miller's right leg, cupped his balls and traced a path to his hole.
Austin started fingering him, gently at first, only one finger. Then Austin pushed both his legs up and out of the way, bracing them with his forearm. His heavy breathing filled the air as he pumped into Miller's hole with two lubed fingers, faster, harder.
Barely holding on, Miller was telling himself not to come, not like this. "Too much, too much," he warned Austin.
Thank God Austin stopped. He was so close. "You OK?" he asked Miller.
"I almost came," he confessed breathlessly.
"Not without me inside you, you don't," Austin told him in a growly voice.
He got a condom on and Miller panted as he added more lube. His feral eyes fixed on Miller, and he took hold of the base of his cock.
Pushing on the backs of his legs until he had Miller folded up, Austin aimed at his entrance and shut his eyes. "Miller," he whispered then he was pushing in.
Bearing down hard, Austin entered him. Miller was gasping under him, clutching handfuls of sheets, overwhelmed.
"Fuck, tight. So tight," Austin gritted out then pushed harder.
It wasn't easy, but under patient, steady pressure, Miller was opening up, taking him in and loving every rock hard inch. He wanted Austin inside him more than anything. To hell with the pain. It didn't last and then there was only pleasure and an unbearable need, so intense, it might as well have been pain.
Consumed by it, he saw it reflected in Austin's fiery gaze as he sank so deep and then started fucking him. Every slow, heavy thrust knocked the air out of him, shattered him, left him cursing and begging for more.
More meant Austin hammering him into oblivion, telling Miller, "You're mine. I need you to be all mine," then fucking him even harder.
His body was a furnace, but Austin just kept pounding him, not letting up until he had Miller coming, spilling over his chest, clenching around his cock. With Miller's arms and legs locked tight around him, Austin was coming too, growling his release then kissing Miller and wrapping him in his arms.
Cleaned up and bonelessly satisfied, Miller was staring up at the ceiling, starting to drift off to sleep. But then his mind started swirling with all the questions sex with Austin had wiped from his mind.
Not risking that Austin might fall asleep, Miller steeled himself as best he could and got right to the point. "What about Diana?"
"What about her? I haven't heard from her, but one of her friends said she might be getting up the courage to call one of these days. I'll believe it when I hear from her. Why are you...?"
Miller sat straight up then immediately regretted it as his sore ass protested. It was so clear now. "Ben lied."
"What?" Austin was sitting up now too. "What did Ben lie about?"
"Diana. You and her getting back together, living as a happy little family," Miller told him as relief flooded him.
"What the hell?" Austin said.
"That's what he said."
"And you believed him?" Austin glared at him.
"It didn't occur to me that he would lie," Miller snapped feeling stupid.
That wasn't good enough for Austin. "But you thought I would?"
"No. I thought you didn't know how to break it to me, and that it would complicate our living situation and..." Miller trailed off. "I just..." Having no real excuse, he groaned.
"Is that why you were making plans to go off with Lawrence and prance around half naked?" Austin demanded.
"Yes," Miller stated simply. "He wanted to cheer me up. And no, there is nothing going on between us," Miller said so Austin didn't have to ask.
"Alright. Well same for me and Diana," Austin told him, leaning in and looking very serious. "As for Ben. Fuck!"
Miller still had questions though. "But what if Diana did want to come back to be with you and Remi?"
Austin cupped his face and Miller got ready to hear the worst. Austin took a shuddering breath. "Miller, it's not like that. Not any more."
"But for Remi," Miller said.
"I might have done it for Remi once. But then I met you. Miller, you've shown me what it should be like," Austin told him and gave him a soft kiss.
Looking into Austin's eyes, Miller had to ask, "Wouldn't it be easier with a woman? Diana or someone else?"
"Easier? No. Not if it meant giving you up. Not her or any woman can take me away from you," Austin told him earnestly.
Miller couldn't speak. He wanted to burst into tears. He didn't know what to do. But Austin did.
Austin kissed him again, deeper this time, and Miller threw his arms around him so tight and kissed him back like he wanted to give him his soul.