Curtis strolled across the bedroom to the window and gazed toward the brightly lit sky. The moon was only half the size it would be by the end of this month but the stars shone luminously. The evening had started out beautiful and peaceful, and he couldn’t help wondering how it had turned into such a nightmare.
Although who was he kidding? He knew it had gone sour because of that phone call from Tabitha. And the thing was, he didn’t know exactly how he truly felt about it. Sure, Charlotte had made it clear that she didn’t want him communicating with Tabitha—ever—but deep down he really wanted to see his daughter. His daughter who was now six months old, yet he still hadn’t laid eyes on her. That is with the exception of a photo Tabitha had sent to the church that Charlotte didn’t know about.
He could still remember the warm and loving feeling he’d felt as soon as he’d pulled it from the envelope, especially when he’d seen that she really did look like him. Although, to be honest, he’d never once doubted that he was the father and the only reason he’d basically forced Tabitha to have the DNA test was that Charlotte refused to accept anything different. Then, once the results had confirmed what he’d already known, he’d decided to do whatever it took to satisfy his wife.
That was then. Because now he not only wanted to see Curtina, he needed to see her. He needed to see and hold the newest addition to his offspring, and he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to live without her. As a matter of fact, at this very moment, he had a mind to tell Charlotte that he needed to run over to the church to pick up something for tomorrow’s sermon; that way he could slip by Tabitha’s to see his baby girl. But he knew she’d never believe him, not with it being almost midnight. Not to mention, he was trying terribly hard not to start up his old habits—habits such as lying and sneaking around. He was trying his best not to do anything that Charlotte didn’t approve of. Because even with the devastation of Tabitha’s pregnancy and their mourning over Marissa, they were now happier than ever and his priority was to keep Charlotte content. He’d made a commitment to her and their marriage and he would just have to forget about having a relationship with his daughter.
Curtis left the bedroom, headed down the hallway and stopped at the guest bedroom he knew Charlotte was holed up in. He reached toward the knob, preparing to turn it, but decided it was probably best to let her cool off a bit more. So, instead, he walked toward Matthew’s room and eased open the door. He expected him to be asleep but the glare of the television screen against his face showed that he wasn’t.
“Son, I thought you’d be completely knocked out by now.”
Curtis waited for him to say something but he didn’t.
“Anything good on?”
“Not really.”
“You know tomorrow is your Sunday to help the trustees with the morning collection, right?”
“Yes.”
“I know you don’t love doing it, but now that you’re thirteen, you’re old enough to start learning more of the business aspects of the church. Plus, it’s not like I can trust anyone more than I can trust you.”
Matthew just looked at him. Then back at the television.
“Son, I promise you’ll eventually feel a whole lot better about what we told you last month. Your mother and I can’t apologize enough but telling you the truth really was the best thing to do. You understand that, right?”
“I guess.”
“I know you’re hurt but please don’t ever forget that I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I would give my life for you if it was necessary.”
This time Matthew averted his eyes from the TV and looked at Curtis.
“Matt, you have my word that nothing will ever change between you and me. Not ever.”
“But, Dad, why did Mom do what she did? Why did she have to be with cousin Anise’s husband?”
“Unfortunately, we all make mistakes. We all fall short and that’s just the way it is.”
“I’m so mad at her, Dad,” he finally said, sitting up and breaking into tears. “I don’t want to be, but I can’t help it.”
“I know,” Curtis said, sitting down on the side of the bed. “But you have to forgive her. She’s your mother, and she loves you so much. And she’s worried sick about you.”
Matthew hugged his father and sobbed the way he had when he was only five and Curtis could no longer maintain his composure. Before long, he felt tears welling up in his own eyes and he had no other words to say.
But Matthew eventually did.
“No matter who my other father is, you’ll always be the most important person in my life. I’ll always love you more, okay?”
“Of course. And it’s like I just told you, nothing will ever change. You’ll always be my son, regardless.”
They held each other for a minute or so longer and then Curtis said, “Why don’t you turn off the television and try to get some rest.”
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too, son.”
Once Curtis walked back into the hallway, he rethought his decision to leave Charlotte alone and went into the room she was lying in.
“What is it that you want?” She spoke quickly and in a nasty tone.
“Baby, please. Let’s not do this, okay?”
“Well, Curtis, what do you expect? Do you think I’m going to just pretend that I like having Tabitha call here, disrespecting me and trying to get you to come be with her?”
“No, but I’ve already told you that I’m not going to have anything to do with her. I’ve told you multiple times and that’s all I can do.”
“I know you have, but this whole thing still upsets me in more ways than one.”
“Look,” he said, sitting down next to her the way he had with Matthew. “I’m sorry and I’ll always be sorry. But the truth is, I can’t change what happened. I wish I could, but it’s just not possible. It’s not possible and all that should matter now anyway is that I love you and no one else.”
“I know,” she finally relented. “And I’m sorry for flying off the handle the way I did earlier.”
“Let’s just forget the whole thing and move on. That’s all I want.”
“Me, too, but you know what? I’m still worried about Matthew.”
“I just looked in on him and we had a nice conversation.”
“He actually talked to you?”
“Not at first, but eventually he said a lot and he was crying.”
Charlotte sighed. “This is all my fault and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for hurting him like this. Because it almost seems like he’s more upset with me than he is with you.”
Curtis wanted to tell her how right she was but he didn’t want her to feel any worse or any more guilty. He certainly would never tell her that Matthew had wanted to know why she’d slept with another man and then pretended Curtis was his father. Matthew hadn’t asked about it with those exact words but it was pretty obvious that this was what he’d meant.
“What you need to do is spend as much time with him as possible and apologize as much as you can,” Curtis advised.
“I just hope he doesn’t stop loving me.”
“What?” he said, lifting Charlotte’s chin with his finger. “Baby, you’re his mother. So, trust me, he’ll never stop loving you.”
“If I have to spend the rest of my life making this up to him, I will. Because it’s not like he should have to suffer just because his biological father and I chose to do the wrong thing. No child should ever have to suffer because of some horrible decision two adults made.”
Curtis didn’t respond, but he agreed with Charlotte completely.
He agreed because he felt the same way about his own baby, Curtina.