Curtis turned the corner and headed out of the subdivision. It was late Monday morning, eleven thirty to be exact, and while Charlotte thought he was on his way to meet two of his friends for lunch, he was actually on his way to nowhere in particular and, for the most part, just needed some time away from her so he could think. He needed to think about everything that was happening in his life at this very moment, specifically the baby, Matthew’s wanting to meet his “real” father, and Reverend Tolson’s idiotic demands.
The last thing he wanted to do was keep secrets from Charlotte or go behind her back doing things she wouldn’t be happy about, but after seeing Curtina in person for the very first time, he hadn’t been able to take his mind off her. He’d tried to weigh the good with the bad but no matter how he figured any of what he was dealing with, the bottom line was that he was in fact Curtina’s father and not having anything to do with her just wasn’t right.
But on the other hand, he’d made a solemn promise to Charlotte and was trying at all costs not to cause an uproar in their marriage. Worse, he knew any trouble between Charlotte and him wouldn’t be good for Matthew either. Not with him preparing to meet David. Curtis had given Matthew his blessing but deep down it did sort of bother him because he couldn’t help wondering if Matthew might end up wanting to be with David more than he did him. Curtis had never thought any man was a better man than he was but this whole thing with Matthew and David was taking a slight toll on his ego.
Although he would never let Charlotte know about his reservations because if she learned how he truly felt, she would do everything in her power to keep Matthew and David apart and that wouldn’t be fair to either one of them. The same as it wasn’t fair for him and Curtina to live separate lives. This was another reason Curtis had no choice but to support Matthew in what he wanted to do.
Curtis drove clear to the other side of town, stopped at a very well-known, old-fashioned, drive-in restaurant, and ordered the most fattening meal on the menu.
“I’ll have a bacon double-cheeseburger, large fries, and a large root beer.”
“Would you like your root beer in a frozen mug?” the woman said from the speaker he’d pulled up to.
“Yes. That’ll be fine.”
“Sir, if I could repeat your order back to you, you’d like a bacon double-cheese, large fries, and root beer in a mug. Is that correct?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Will that be all?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll bring that out to you shortly.”
“Thank you.”
Curtis switched his XM-Radio channel from one of the talk stations to XM-33, The Spirit. For as long as he could remember, he’d loved gospel music and what he liked about this station was that they played both modern and traditional. They played anyone from Shirley Caesar to Mary Mary, from James Cleveland to Kirk Franklin, and Curtis enjoyed them all. Right now, Shirley Caesar was belting out words from her song “Church Is in Mourning,” and he couldn’t help thinking of his beloved mother and how she’d passed away just over six years ago. He still missed her terribly and he still felt a load of regret for not seeing or talking to her for so many years. He’d made the terrible decision to distance himself from her and his sister and no matter how hard he tried, he never felt better about it. Not to mention, his sister still wanted nothing to do with him and whenever he tried to call her, she either didn’t answer or she had her husband or one of the children say she wasn’t home. He was sorry for the way he’d cut her off but he would never give up on trying to win her forgiveness.
When the carhop brought out his food, he rolled his window down and she placed the tray on the top edge of his window. Thankfully, it was an unseasonably warm, early-October day and the sun was shining, so leaving the window halfway open wouldn’t be uncomfortable.
“That’ll be seven dollars and fifty-eight cents, please,” the young woman announced. Curtis laid a ten in her hand and told her to keep the change.
When he’d finished eating, he flipped what they called the “pickup” switch and the young girl came back out and removed the tray. Then he backed out of the stall and left. He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go next, but then it dawned on him that he was maybe only a mile from the park where the church always had their annual picnics. It was his favorite in all the surrounding areas, and he’d always been able to think very clearly when he spent time there.
It didn’t take him more than a couple of minutes to find a nice quiet space, park, and step out of his vehicle. The area was quiet and the tiny breeze was refreshing, so he decided to take a stroll through the grass.
He walked for more than an hour, trying to gather his thoughts, and when he returned to his SUV his decision had been made. He’d decided that the best thing to do was tell Charlotte the truth. He would tell her about Tabitha showing up at church yesterday with the baby and how if Elder Jamison hadn’t allowed her to see him, she had threatened to go public. He would tell Charlotte the truth because just maybe if they talked this thing out, she would realize that Curtina was not at fault and that she was simply just an innocent little child. He didn’t know what the outcome was going to be, but he was going to take his chances and pray for the best.
When Curtis closed his door and turned on the ignition, his cell phone rang. He smiled when he saw that it was Alicia.
“Hi, baby girl.”
“Hey, Daddy. How are you?”
“I’m well. What about you?”
“I’m good. I just left one of my writing classes, and I don’t have another until an hour from now.”
“I’m really glad you decided to stick with English. It’s a great major with more options than most people realize.”
“I know. I really want to write a book, and I still haven’t ruled out going to law school next year.”
“Why don’t you just do both?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re more than capable. No doubt about it.”
Curtis was so proud of Alicia. She wrote short stories about as quickly and as efficiently as someone who’d been writing professionally for the last twenty years. It came just that naturally to her, and Curtis had always encouraged her to keep at it until she was published. Which is exactly what had happened last year when she’d entered a national magazine contest and had taken first place. She’d beaten out thousands of other aspiring writers and the prize had been five thousand dollars and having her story published in one of the upcoming issues. After that, she’d been submitting one manuscript after another and had continued to win other competitions as well.
“So how’re Matthew and Charlotte?” she asked.
“They’re doing fine. Although Matthew told us last night that he wants to meet his real father.”
“Wow. I’m really sorry, Daddy.”
“No, honey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Of course, I don’t want my relationship with him to change, but he has every right to see and know the man he came from.”
“What did Charlotte say?”
“Not much, but she’s definitely not happy about it.”
“Matthew must be really nervous because I know I would be.”
“Yeah, it’s all going to be very interesting, but, baby girl, that’s not the biggest news I have to tell you.”
“Why? What else is going on?”
“I shouldn’t have kept this from you for as long as I have, but I guess I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Tell me what, Daddy?”
“That you have a baby sister.”
“A what?”
“A baby sister. She’s six months old, and she lives right here in Mitchell.”
Alicia didn’t say anything and now Curtis wasn’t sure what he should say either.
“Wow. Wow. Wow. A baby? At your age?” she said, and to Curtis’s surprise, she laughed.
“Now come on. I’m not that old.”
“You’re over forty.”
“And you think that’s over the hill, I guess?”
“Well…yeah! Because it is.”
“Young people,” Curtis said and laughed with her.
“So who is the mother and why didn’t you tell me?”
“Her name is Tabitha, and I didn’t tell you because I was ashamed. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of, and I certainly haven’t always been the best example for you.”
“You’re still my father, though, Daddy, and I’ll love you no matter what.”
“I appreciate that, baby girl, but still, I’ve made some pretty bad choices and this is proving to be the most troubling one yet.”
“Have you seen her? What’s her name?”
“I saw her yesterday and her name is Curtina.”
“She was at the house?”
“No, it’s a long story, but her mother brought her to the church.”
“So other people know?”
“Not exactly. I mean, Charlotte knows and now Elder Jamison sort of knows but I haven’t told anyone else. We’re trying to keep Tabitha from telling anyone, but now she’s wanting me to spend time with the baby.”
“And you’re not going to?”
“Like I said, baby girl, it’s a long story. I would love to see her, but Charlotte doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want me to have anything to do with Curtina ever.”
“Maybe she’ll eventually change her mind.”
“That’s what I’m hoping, but we’ll see.”
“Do you think I can see her next time I come home?”
“I’ll ask Tabitha, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Can I tell Mom?”
“Well, I kind of wanted to tell her myself.”
“Oh, that’s fine.”
“I’ll call her when I hang up with you.”
“Well, I guess I should get going, but, Daddy, you call me if you need to, okay?”
“I will, and, baby girl, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Daddy. Bye.”
Curtis ended the call with his daughter, adjusted his Bluetooth earpiece, and dialed her mother’s office number. She answered on the first ring.
“This is Tanya.”
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself.”
Amazingly, after hearing his first wife’s voice, he was already feeling a lot more at ease. After all these years, them being divorced, he still sometimes felt more comfortable talking to her than he did anyone else—including Charlotte. Tanya had been his first real love and the woman who’d understood him from the beginning and he had to admit that there were still many days when he couldn’t help regretting the fact that he’d lost her long ago to someone else. James was a good man, and he treated her and Alicia well enough, but still, Curtis couldn’t help being a bit envious.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” he asked.
“Not really. I’m working but I have a few minutes. What’s up?”
“What isn’t, is what you should be asking.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound good.”
“For one thing, Matthew wants to meet his biological father.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But the other thing is that I have a six-month-old little girl.”
“Curtis. Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“No. I’m not.”
“With whom?”
“A woman I met a few years back and was having an affair with.”
“Does Charlotte know about this?”
“Yes. And I don’t have to tell you how upset she is. She’s basically beside herself.”
“Can you blame her?”
“No. Not really. But at the same time, I truly feel that I have an obligation to my child.”
Tanya didn’t comment one way or the other, so Curtis went on to tell her about the arrangement he had made with Tabitha and how he wasn’t supposed to have anything to do with her or Curtina. He spilled his guts about everything and felt almost relieved. He felt better because he was tired of walking around, not being able to talk about his troubles. He and Charlotte were now frequently arguing about this whole ordeal, but Tanya was the first person he’d finally been able to discuss it with in a cordial manner.
“I guess I don’t know what to say.”
“Most of the time, I don’t either.”
“After all that happened last year with Marissa passing away, I really thought you and Charlotte had worked things out and that you were now closer than ever.”
“We were. But then the baby was born and ever since then, our marriage has become a lot more strained.”
“I’m sure.”
“But hey, can I ask you something?”
“What’s that?”
“How would you feel? I mean, if you were Charlotte would you try to keep me from seeing my own daughter?”
“You want the truth?”
“Yes.”
“Of all the terrible things you did to me, in the end, my divorcing you wasn’t as much about your affair with Adrienne as it was about Charlotte being pregnant with your child. I know it eventually turned out that Matthew wasn’t your son, but back then, we were sure he was. So, for me, an affair was one thing, but a lifetime reminder was a whole other story. It was just too much for me to bear and that’s why there was no way I could stay married to you.”
Curtis wanted to respond but he was too saddened by what Tanya had just explained to him. He knew he’d hurt her in a major way, but somehow hearing her talk about it with so much emotion made him feel worse.
“I’m really sorry, Tanya. I know I’ve apologized over and over, but I’m really sorry for all the pain I caused you back then.”
“You know I forgave you a long time ago so don’t worry about it.”
“It just seems that no matter what I do, I keep messing up. I keep trying my hardest to do the right thing but somehow I always end up doing just the opposite.”
“That may be true, but Curtis, you can’t deny the fact that you simply don’t make the right choices. You’ve got a serious problem with temptation and until you get control of it, you’re always going to have consequences to deal with.”
“But that’s just it. I do have control. And ever since I told Charlotte a year or so ago that Tabitha was pregnant, I’ve been completely faithful to her. And I want to stay faithful to her.”
“Then I suggest you work out this situation regarding the baby.”
“But how, when Charlotte doesn’t want to hear anything about it?”
Tanya fell silent again and Curtis wondered why.
“Do you agree with Charlotte?” he asked. “Do you really think it’s right for me to turn my back on Curtina?”
“No. But my theory has always been that if a woman can’t accept a baby born outside of her marriage then she should leave the situation and let the husband be a father to his child. However, if she chooses to stay with her husband, then she should accept the child and love it as her own.”
“I don’t think Charlotte will ever accept Curtina. Which, to a certain extent, really angers me because I accepted Matthew and Marissa.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but you still need to try to come to some sort of understanding with Charlotte. Maybe all you need to do is give her a little more time to digest all that’s going on. Maybe you just need to be a little more patient with her.”
Curtis sighed. “Thanks, Tanya. Thank you for always being there for me when I need you to be. Because you definitely don’t owe me anything.”
“You’re right,” she said, teasing him. “But seriously, our issues are way in the past and you’re still Alicia’s father.”
“That I am, and I’m so proud of her. She’s doing so well at U of I, and I’m also very proud of the way you’ve raised her. You’ve done an excellent job, and I will always be indebted to you for that.”
“I’ll be praying for you and Charlotte and the baby. And Matthew, too.”
“I appreciate that. And I’ll let you go, okay?”
“Take care now.”
Curtis placed the gear in drive and headed out of the park area. He wasn’t sure what the future held for Charlotte and him, but what he did know was that they could no longer continue as they had been. Constantly at each other’s throats. It just wasn’t working for either of them and as Tanya had suggested, maybe he just needed to be more patient with her. Maybe he really did need to give Charlotte a bit more time to understand where he was coming from.
If he did, maybe there would be a fighting chance for them after all.