Curtis relaxed his body in the one-month-old, executive-style chair, folded his arms, and took a long deep breath. His life was in such shambles right now that he could barely even think straight. He knew he was supposed to be focusing on the Tolson meeting, which would take place in an hour, but he was hugely consumed by the massive blowup he and Charlotte had just had only a short while ago. He was trying so hard to see things her way but the more attempts he made at doing so, the more he thought about his own position and how he had some very valid points himself.
Yes, it was wrong to have slept with Tabitha, yes, it was wrong to have gotten her pregnant, but no matter what Charlotte claimed, it wasn’t wrong for him to be the father he should be to Curtina. The situation was uncomfortable for Charlotte and it was clearly causing a major strain on their marriage, but none of this was Curtina’s fault. Not one small bit of it.
Curtis opened his top right drawer, reached all the way toward the back, beneath one of his many Bibles, and pulled out an envelope. He closed the drawer and wasted no time removing the contents, two photos of Curtina. He didn’t know which of them he liked the most, but he stared from one to the other for several minutes. Tabitha had left the latest one on his desk on Sunday morning, but he purposely hadn’t told Charlotte because he knew she would never allow him to keep it. She would tear it to shreds, as she would the other photo that Tabitha had sent when Curtina had been born.
He knew it wasn’t right, his receiving and hiding photos behind Charlotte’s back, but he just couldn’t make himself discard them. He wanted and needed to look at them on a regular basis and couldn’t help it. Truthfully, he felt no different from a child who wanted something so badly, he was willing to disobey his parents and take whatever punishment he had coming. Of course, he didn’t like the consequences he was having to deal with but, somehow, having at least this small photo connection to his daughter was well worth anything Charlotte brought his way.
As Curtis slipped the pictures back inside the envelope, Lana, his administrative assistant, entered his office dressed as jazzily as ever.
“Pastor, here’s the agenda, but just let me know if you have any changes you’d like me to make.”
Curtis took his copy from her. “I’m sure it’s fine.”
Lana was one of the best people Curtis knew. She’d been with him ever since he and Charlotte had founded Deliverance Outreach six years ago, and he couldn’t imagine having anyone else in her place. She was a good woman with strong Christian values and Curtis was very close to her. She was fifty-six and only ten years his senior, but still, she treated him like a son. She gave him advice and sometimes it felt as though she were ministering to him the way he sometimes ministered to others. She had no thoughts of being a minister, but she had this very special way of telling people what they needed to be told, regardless of what they had going on in their lives.
Which is why Curtis had no idea why he hadn’t confided to her what he was dealing with at the moment. He’d wanted to tell her but whenever he’d thought about doing it, his shame overtook him. She knew his history, but he wasn’t sure how she would feel knowing that after all this time, he still had skeletons to contend with.
“I know you’ve been back a few months now, Pastor, but I just wanted to say again how wonderful it is to have you here on a regular basis. We all missed you when you were on the road.”
“It’s good to be home. And good to be back involved with our church family.”
“Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Reverend Tolson well enough, but I missed you being our on-site leader. Everyone got along fine, but it wasn’t quite the same. I think it was because even though we all have many talents and gifts, some of us excel in certain areas so much more than we do in others.”
“Well, I appreciate hearing that. And thank you for the compliment. I just wish Reverend Tolson had turned out a whole lot happier than he is.”
“It’s so unfortunate. But some people feel the need to be chief and don’t know how to be team players.”
“That’s very true, so I guess it is what it is.”
“I have a couple of meetings to schedule, but again, let me know if the agenda needs some revisions.”
“Thanks again for putting this together so quickly.”
As soon as Lana closed the door, Curtis placed Curtina’s photos back inside the drawer and started thinking about Charlotte again. He wasn’t happy about her not attending the meeting. She knew she was an important member of the elder board and was needed at all impromptu, mandatory gatherings. Especially one where they were having to discuss financial and staff issues. It would have been one thing if she’d been sick or had some other legitimate reason why she couldn’t be there, but Curtis knew her rebellion was personal. She hadn’t come because she was angry with him, and it was hard for him to respect anyone who couldn’t separate business and personal matters.
But then that was simply who Charlotte was. It was the way she’d always been and if he’d been a betting man, he’d quickly gamble on the fact that she was never going to change. She would never make any sacrifices that didn’t directly benefit her.
He was reviewing the agenda when there was a knock on his door. It was Anise.
“Hey, Ms. Miller.”
“Curtis.”
“So how are you?” They hugged at the side of his desk and then took seats.
“I’m good.”
“And Aunt Emma?”
“Mom’s fine. Couldn’t be better.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“So what’s up with the emergency meeting?”
“It’s Tolson,” Curtis answered and gave her a short synopsis of what was going on.
“Some people really amaze me,” she said. “I mean, he’s always known you wouldn’t be gone forever, and what exactly did he think interim meant anyhow?”
“Oh, he knows, he’s just not happy about having me back here so soon.”
“That’s ridiculous. And ungrateful if you ask me.”
“I think so, too, but since he’s so unsatisfied, we have to do what we have to do.”
“He always seemed like such a nice man, he and his wife, so I never would have expected him to make these kinds of demands.”
“It just goes to show that you can’t trust everyone. As human beings, we always want to, but the truth is, we can’t.”
“Don’t I know it.”
Curtis knew Anise was referring to the way Charlotte had betrayed her with David, and he wasn’t sure if he should comment. When he didn’t, Anise continued.
“Sometimes, it’s the people you care about the most. Sometimes, it’s the people you would least expect for all eternity.”
“I hate what happened, and whether you know this or not, Charlotte is truly sorry. And she really misses you.”
“She should have thought about that before she slept with my husband.”
“I hear what you’re saying, and I’m not trying to defend what she did in any way, but you have to try to forgive her.”
“I have forgiven her, but I’m just not ready to be friends with her again. She’s my cousin and deep down, I love her, but whenever I think about her and David, well…” Her voice trailed off in a sullen way.
“I understand, but don’t be like me. After that Aaron fiasco, I held a grudge against Charlotte so severely that I ended up doing more harm than good. I caused the kind of trouble that I’ll never be able to take back.”
“Such as?”
Curtis immediately regretted what he’d just said. As far as he knew, neither Anise nor Aunt Emma knew about Tabitha, his affair with her, or about the baby. He trusted Anise but now he wrestled with the idea of telling her.
“It’s a long story.”
Anise checked the time on her watch. “We’ve got time, so tell me.”
Curtis paused for a few seconds and then disclosed practically every detail. He even pulled out the photos again and showed them to her. He was so relieved to share his story with yet another person, the same as he had with Tanya.
“How old is she?”
“Six months.”
“She’s beautiful, Curtis.”
“A perfect little doll.”
“I had no idea.”
“That’s a good thing, because that means it’s probably safe to assume that no one else in the congregation knows either.”
“Do Aunt Noreen and Uncle Joe know?”
“They do. There was no way Charlotte wasn’t going to tell her mother and father.”
“Well, I can guarantee you Aunt Noreen has never said a word to Mom because Mom definitely would have told me. Although you know Aunt Noreen and Mom still don’t have much to do with each other.”
“Which is very sad. Sisters and brothers should never let anything come between them, and I know all too well because I allowed my resentment toward my father to keep me away from my sister and mother for years. I’ll always regret that, especially now that Mom is gone and even today, my sister still wants nothing to do with me.”
Anise looked down at the photos again and Curtis knew she was avoiding any further conversation about family, forgiveness, and making amends. He could tell she had no plans of reconciling with Charlotte.
“So what are you going to do?” she asked.
“About Curtina?”
“That’s her name?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to see her?”
“I want to. Desperately. But like I just told you, Charlotte is completely against it.”
“I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I do know this. Mothers and fathers have a responsibility to their children. Regardless of how those children got here.”
“I agree, but I also love my wife.”
“I guess.”
“It’s not as easy as it seems because let’s just say you’d still been married to David when you found out Matthew was his. Would you have stayed with David and accepted Matthew as your stepson?”
“Probably not. But the thing is, Charlotte did stay with you. And when she made that decision, she was all but saying she was fine with your daughter.”
Anise had the same theory as Tanya, and he just wished Charlotte could feel this way, too. If only Charlotte could look at the bigger picture and realize she was the only woman he wanted. If only she could realize he didn’t love Tabitha and had no desire to be with her.
“All I can do is keep praying,” he said when Anise passed him back the pictures.
“I’ll be praying for you as well.”
“I appreciate that, and while I know you don’t want to hear this, I hope you’ll pray to end this separation between you and Charlotte.”
Anise respectfully ignored his statement. “So David told me he’s going to be meeting Matthew this weekend.”
“He is. He called yesterday, and Matthew is pretty excited about it.”
“And what about you? Because I know this must be a little difficult.”
“I have some mixed feelings, but it’s mainly because I know Matthew will now have another father to turn to. Still, though, I’m happy for him, and, in the end, I want whatever he wants.”
“You’re a good man, Curtis, and Matthew will always love you for being okay with this.”
“I love him to death. You know that.”
“I do, and so does Matthew. And that’s why you’ll never have to worry about anyone taking your place in his life. He knows who raised him and who’s been there for him without fail.”
“I just hope Charlotte can eventually come to terms with this, too.”
“It would definitely make things easier for Matthew. That’s for sure.”
Curtis and Anise chatted a while longer and then left for the conference room. When they arrived, the other nine members were already seated, and of course Charlotte’s chair was empty. There were twelve elders in total, more than enough to vote on the matter at hand, so in reality Charlotte’s absence wouldn’t make that much of a difference.
As soon as Curtis sat down, he called the meeting to order and asked Lana to review the minutes from last month’s meeting. After she finished, they discussed a couple of minor topics and then moved on to the real reason they were there.
“As some of you probably know by now, Reverend Tolson came to me this past Sunday morning and asked that we buy out his contract.”
The late-sixties, oldest, and most outspoken member, Elder Dixon, jumped right in. “For what?”
“In his words, he’s not happy with the current arrangement.”
“Not happy? Ain’t that somethin’? We bring his nonpreachin’ jackleg behind in here with top pay and he got the nerve to be makin’ demands?”
Everyone in the room cracked up laughing.
“Well, sir,” Elder Dixon continued, “I guess I’ve heard it all then.”
“I don’t get it either, Elder Dixon, but since he wants out, and if you’re all in agreement, I move that we pay him the remainder of his contract. He has two years left on it, and that’s what I think we should write the check for.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t ask for more,” Elder Dixon joked.
“Actually, he did, but I let him know right away that we weren’t paying him a dime more than we owed him.”
“I’ll bet that went over well,” Elder Richardson commented. Which made Curtis smile because usually she was the quietest person in the room.
“He was pretty defensive and basically stormed out of my office.”
“You know, the more I think about it, I never liked him all that much anyhow,” Elder Dixon admitted. “Was always just a little too highfalutin for my taste. Wannabe-preachin’, fake…”
“Puddin’!…I mean, Elder Dixon,” Lana said, trying to tone him down and then trying to gracefully correct what she’d called him. Curtis and Anise smiled at each other, as did Elder Jamison and one of the other members, because after all these years, Lana was still trying to keep her relationship with Elder Dixon a secret. It was common knowledge that they were significant others and the reason Curtis knew this for sure was that Elder Dixon had told him so a long time ago.
Elder Dixon couldn’t help smiling either, but he didn’t look at Lana.
“I should also tell you that Tolson was making threats,” Curtis remembered. “Something about how he didn’t want to be forced to use certain ammunition.”
“Please.” Elder Jamison dismissed the entire notion. “I doubt it.”
“I have no idea what he’s talking about, but that’s what he said.” Curtis spoke genuinely but couldn’t help wondering if maybe Tolson had somehow learned about Tabitha and Curtina. What a disaster that would be.
Elder Dixon jumped in again. “Just bluffin’. That’s all that fool is doin’.”
“Let’s hope. But in the meantime, I say we move forward with ending his time here at Deliverance Outreach. I asked Elder Jamison to have our attorney draw up a separation letter yesterday afternoon and copies of it are attached to your agendas.”
Each of the elders read through it, but as soon as they finished, Reverend Tolson barged in.
“Well, isn’t this just perfect. I’m casually driving by the church, minding my own business, and suddenly I see all these elders’ cars in the parking lot, this early on a Tuesday morning. And then I think, I wonder if they’re trying to sneak and have a secret meeting about me.”
Elder Jamison stood up. “Reverend Tolson, this is a closed session and only for the board members. Not to mention, you weren’t invited.”
“I don’t care whether I was invited or not. I’m here now, and I have a few things I need to get off my chest.”
Curtis was stunned by Tolson’s continued audacity but was curious to hear what he had to say.
“First of all, I want every person in here to know that I don’t play games when it comes to my livelihood. I take my position as a minister very seriously and I feel the same when it comes to my business. So, having said that, I want four years of pay and I expect to have my check in hand by the end of this week.”
Dumfounded stares consumed the entire room, but Elder Dixon couldn’t keep quiet.
“Boy, you must not know who you dealin’ with. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll take what we give you and leave here runnin’.”
Tolson laughed out loud. “Old men should know their places and should speak only when spoken to.”
Elder Dixon left his seat and rushed toward Tolson. But Curtis interceded. The women in the room gasped and the rest of the men moved closer to Tolson, letting him know that if he wanted one, a fight was clearly not a problem.
“Reverend Tolson, I think it would be in your best interest to leave,” Curtis told him, and surprisingly, Tolson backed down. But not without delivering more threats.
“If I don’t get what I want, every person in this room is going to be sorry. Every person in here will wish they’d voted to give me ten times what I’m asking for.”
Next, Tolson walked out and Elder Jamison followed behind him, making sure Tolson left the building. When Elder Jamison returned, the board voted unanimously to pay Tolson two years of salary and nothing more and Curtis adjourned the meeting.
Still, though, Curtis had a feeling this wouldn’t be the end. His feeling was as strong as oak.