The book display wasn’t coming together like Thea wanted and she was frustrated. It was her turn to highlight some of the books from the collection into an eye-catching display, but she was struggling. All the librarians brainstormed ideas for themes, but it was up to the librarian in charge to make it come to life. Since it was one of the first things people saw when they walked in, there was a lot of pressure. That and there was a slightly heated competition to have the most popular display. The metric for gauging popularity wasn’t the most scientific; social media engagement and people stopping to take pictures were about the sum of it, but that made the competition even fiercer. Subjective results meant you had to blow away the competition.
“Need help?” Walter looked over Thea’s shoulder in a decidedly non-facilitative way.
“Absolutely not.” Thea shooed him. “Take your nosy bones elsewhere. There has to be some work for you somewhere in this library.”
“I’m on desk,” Walter said. “You might remember, the lady in charge around here scheduled me there this afternoon. She knows I like the face-to-face after lunch. But as you can see, there’s no one in need of my services at the moment. Except perhaps you.”
Thea didn’t know how she’d forgotten she’d scheduled Walter on desk. If she’d remembered she never would have worked on the display today. Other librarians might watch her struggle and want to heckle her, but only Walter, and maybe Carrie, actually would.
The desk was fifteen feet from where Thea was working. Walter didn’t really need to sit behind it to cover it, technically.
“With you standing here talking to me, how would anyone know you were available?”
Walter seemed amused, which was even more annoying. He could at least have had the decency to be properly offended by her petulance.
Thea turned back to her display. She swapped a couple of books and stepped back to reevaluate. As she did, she felt someone approach.
“I told you, I don’t need your help.”
Whoever it was hesitated briefly.
“Are you talking in general? Or with the work you’re doing? ’Cause that looks great.”
Thea didn’t turn around right away. She let herself savor the brief, enjoyable anticipation of seeing Kit before she actually did.
When she turned around she wasn’t disappointed. Her stomach leapt slightly at the sight of her, which was new and unexpected.
Kit was back in her construction attire, complete with slight coating of sawdust on her clothes and hair. Thea wouldn’t have listed that among her top ten turn-ons, but she found it incredibly appealing when Kit was the one wrapped in the signs of a hard day’s work.
“I’ve been battling it all afternoon. We’re competitive about the displays so there’s extra pressure to get it right. Walter’s been heckling me.” Thea waved at Walter.
“Will this help?” Kit offered one of two coffee cups she held. “I promise nothing weird. Just a plain, boring latte.”
“You showing up and bearing gifts always helps.” Thea took the coffee. Kit perched on a nearby chair.
“What do you get if you win?”
Thea was confused until Kit indicated the display. She wasn’t used to sharing such mundane details about her work with anyone outside of her colleagues. Sylvia had never been interested in what she did all day.
“Ah. Bragging rights. Also, a hideous trophy. There’s a cow wearing a clown hat on top and it says ‘Udderly amazing. You don’t suck.’ Carrie found it at a yard sale.”
“How do we make that trophy yours? It sounds incredible. Can I stuff ballot boxes? Rig a vote? Twitter bots?” Kit hopped off the chair, ready for action.
“I don’t need to cheat. Whose office do you think the trophy lives in now?”
Kit threw her arms up in victory and let out a library appropriate, quiet whoop of approval. Thea couldn’t help but notice how damn good her stomach looked when her shirt pulled up during her celebration. It was hard not to stare.
“You here for a meeting? Or just a coffee delivery?” Thea might have been caught staring.
“Can’t it be both? The meeting doesn’t start for a while, but I’m done for the day. I’d rather be here than go home for ten minutes. You do have to put up with my dusty ass, though. But I thought I remembered you saying you didn’t mind that.”
“You have a good memory.” Thea hoped she wasn’t blushing. Or drooling. “If you’re going to stick around, I’m going to put you to work. I need your opinion.”
“Yes, ma’am. We have an udderly amazing trophy to win.”
Thea continued to tweak the display with feedback from Kit. She saw Walter watching at one point, but he didn’t come over. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
They were finally satisfied a few minutes before Kit’s meeting. Thea had enjoyed having Kit’s company and wasn’t all that eager to give her up. Kit seemed to be thinking the same thing. She didn’t seem in a rush to get to her meeting.
“Are you busy Saturday night?” Kit’s question came out in one rapid-fire string of syllables. “And how do you feel about baseball?”
“I’m free Saturday. And I’ve always felt like I’d be great at baseball. Right up until I had to throw, catch, or hit. Otherwise, I love it.”
“And how do you feel about watching baseball? With me? On Saturday?”
“I can’t think of anything better.” She meant it. Going on a date with Kit sounded fantastic, all her reservations aside.
Wait, was it a date? Are we reading the same tea leaves? Are we both drinking tea?
“I’m over the moon you’re agreeing to be seen in public with me surrounded by thousands of people, but there will be at least two things better than me at the game. We need to expand your definition of ‘nothing better.’ Not that I’m complaining of course. And you can’t back out now, you said yes. I’m taking you out Saturday.”
“I’m sticking with my assessment. But for argument’s sake, what are these other things that are supposedly better than a night out with you? I need convincing.”
Kit shot her a roguish grin. She seemed to be enjoying the game they were playing as much as Thea.
“Well, it doesn’t count as one of the things, but you’ll be there with thirty thousand people, so for all I know, you’ll join a group of bachelorettes out for a night of fun and have the time of your life. If that happens though, there will be massive amounts of sulking.”
“I no-showed to my own bachelorette party.” Thea patted Kit’s cheek. “I think you’re safe.”
“I would like to hear more of that story, but to answer your original question, number one is the moment you first see the field. It’s close to a religious experience. No one’s on the field yet, but the grass is beautiful and waiting. The stadium is quiet and ready. The second is you can buy ice cream in tiny replica baseball hat bowls. There can’t possibly be anything better than that, right?”
Thea couldn’t help it, she laughed. Kit was so serious, so earnest, describing the wonders of ice cream in souvenir helmet cups. “You’re serious about helmet cups.”
“It’s one of the few good memories I have from a time I’d rather forget,” Kit said.
“When you were using?”
“No.” She looked far away and sad. “Before then. Bad parents come in all different flavors, formulations, and doses. Mine were pretty mild, all things considered, especially compared to yours, but I have no desire to spend time with them, then, now, or in the future. But they did give me baseball.”
Thea put her hand on Kit’s shoulder. She wanted to wrap her in a hug, but she was at work and she didn’t know how Kit would feel about it. She never felt like it much mattered where on the spectrum of having shitty parents you fell. It wasn’t a competition.
“Well, I guess my work here is done.” Kit dusted her hands together. “I stopped by, delivered coffee, asked you out, and totally killed the good mood. I’d grade my performance a solid D-plus. Unbiased opinion, but you have yourself a catch right here.”
Thea held her finger up to Kit’s lips and swallowed hard at the flare of desire clear in Kit’s eyes. She moved her finger away slowly and took a step backward before she did something professionally, and possibly personally, out of character.
“Get out of here or you’ll be late for your meeting. And I’d give you a B-plus, for what it’s worth. I’m grading on a curve because I’m pretty damn happy you asked me out.”
Thea couldn’t believe she actually had the balls to name their date as such. Not to mention telling Kit she was so damn excited about it. Thea was rewarded with an enormous smile and a wink.
Score one for wild abandon.
After Kit left for her meeting, Thea cleaned up the detritus from her work on the display and mentally went over what was left to do today and what could be pushed until tomorrow. Walter was off desk and the library was quiet.
Thea wandered through each row of books, looking for any out of place, forgotten coffee cups, or other unsavory items. What she found was Frankie, curled in a large leather chair adjacent to the biographies. She looked like she was crying.
She wanted to rush to Frankie and take her in her arms, but she had no idea if that would be something Frankie would appreciate. Instead, she kneeled beside her and gently touched her knee.
“Hey, kiddo, what can I do?”
Thea was completely unprepared for Frankie to launch into her arms. Thea landed on her backside with Frankie in her arms, sobbing on her shoulder. Sixteen-year-olds weren’t exactly lap sized, but Thea didn’t try to reposition or move. She wrapped Frankie in a hug and held her as her body shook with the ferocity of her sorrow.
“My mom,” Frankie said, finally able to get some words out. “They took my mom.”
“Who did, sweetie?” If she needed to get the police involved, she wanted to get as many details as possible while it was still fresh in Frankie’s mind.
“The cops. They arrested her. They found drugs and took her away. I know she’s not coming back anytime soon.”
Thea didn’t know what to say. She squeezed Frankie tighter. She knew this pain. She fought her own childhood memories. This was about Frankie.
“Do you have a place to stay?”
“My aunt. She’s moving in with me so I can stay at the same school until I graduate. She’s nice but I don’t know her that well. She didn’t really want anything to do with my parents. I don’t blame her.”
“What about your dad?” Thea shifted so she could see Frankie.
“If you see him, let me know.” Frankie swiped angrily at her tears. “He’s been gone about three weeks. My parents suck sometimes, but they’re still mine. Especially my mom. She tries. She tries hard. It’s just the drugs got a hold of her and she fights, but there’s no one else around that’s clean. No one. How’s she supposed to get straight in an environment like that? But she just started methadone. She was trying again. I don’t know if it would have stuck, but she was trying.” She put her head back on Thea’s shoulder and sobbed.
“I imagine it’s almost impossible without support,” Thea said. “It sounds like you believe in her, though. Are your parents the reason you told Kit you didn’t know anyone who was clean?”
“I never even thought it was possible. I still think Kit might be a unicorn. I mean, I know there are people out there. But they don’t look like the people in my neighborhood.”
Thea pulled out her phone and texted Kit. She hoped she would check her messages during the meeting.
“What are you doing?” Frankie sniffled and looked at Thea.
“Trying to pull the horn off a unicorn.” Thea’s phone buzzed and she saw Kit’s message. “There’s an NA meeting happening right now. It’s an open meeting. Kit is there and she’s invited you to join her. Would it be helpful right now to see some other folks who have struggled and gotten clean, or do you want to sit out here and keep talking? I’m happy to sit here all night if that’s what you need.”
Frankie didn’t answer for a long moment. Thea worried she had missed the mark and Frankie was clamming up. Teens were fickle creatures.
“I’d really like to go to the meeting. Thanks for always knowing what to say, or what I need to hear. I’m hoping my mom can finally get clean in jail. Maybe there’s some people in Kit’s meeting that did that too.”
Thea walked Frankie to the NA meeting. She wanted to take Frankie home tonight and keep her safe from the ugliness of the world, but she knew she couldn’t. Frankie’s reality would come calling no matter how hard Thea tried to shield her, and she had someone willing to step in and care for her. As a child Thea had been confused, lonely, and hurt. Now, as an adult, watching Frankie, knowing what she was likely feeling, her pain for Frankie felt overwhelming.
“My mom’s not a bad person,” Frankie said, and it wasn’t clear if she was trying to convince Thea or herself. “She’s not violent. Drug addiction is a disease, right? I’ve read all about it. I’ve read everything I can find about it. They’ll see that, right? And maybe let her out? I can send them what I’ve read.”
Thea wasn’t sure and didn’t want to offer Frankie anything that could be interpreted as a promise of any outcome. “Do you need me to call your aunt and let her know where you are?”
“She knows,” Frankie said. “I told her I’d be home later.”
Thea had texted Kit to let her know they were on their way down and Kit met them at the door. Thea hadn’t been able to fill her in on why Frankie needed to sit in on the meeting, but Kit knew enough, and seemed to get a bit more from Frankie’s red eyes and stricken expression.
Kit put her arm around Frankie’s shoulder and said something to her that Thea couldn’t hear. Whatever it was made Frankie smile. That was progress.
“Frankie, I’m going to be up at the desk. I’ll wait for you to finish up and then we’ll get you home, okay?”
Frankie nodded. “Thank you. Sorry I cried and snotted all over your shirt.”
“If you’ve got more, let me have it. It should mix well with my sawdust,” Kit said. “We’ll be out in a bit, Thea. Thanks for getting in touch.”
Thea watched Kit lead Frankie back into the community room. She still had her arm around Frankie’s shoulder. As soon as they were inside, Thea ran upstairs, emotions hard at her heels. She didn’t have a destination in mind, and halfway across the main floor she realized she should have gone to her office.
She turned to go back down and ran into Walter. She thought he’d left for the day. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been happier to see him. His arms were full as he was on his way out, but she still wrapped him in a hug. He awkwardly tried to hug her back around his lunch bag and other items for home. By the sheer strength of an iron will she didn’t know she possessed, Thea didn’t cry.
“Should I put these things down, then?” Walter asked.
“No, no,” Thea said. “I just really needed a hug.”
“I’m always happy to oblige, but I suspect you’re leaving out a detail or two. You aren’t the most demonstrative with your affection.”
“It’s just Frankie’s having a pretty terrible day. It reminds me of my own baggage. You don’t remind me of those things and in fact, chase those things away. So, a hug.”
“Is Frankie okay? I do have a soft spot for that girl. Where is she now?” Walter shifted his things to one hand and put his free arm around Thea’s shoulders.
“She’s downstairs with Kit at the NA meeting.” Thea leaned into Walter’s embrace.
Walter looked like he’d smelled something ghastly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Not at all. But I think it’s what Frankie needs right now. And I fear there’s nothing she’ll hear in that meeting that she hasn’t lived already.”
“Poor child. I hope Kit is as careful with Frankie’s trust and vulnerable soul as you are, my dear. Are you okay?”
“I really am okay, Walter. Thank you for the hug. Sorry to attack you.”
Once she convinced Walter he could go and she settled at the desk, the NA meeting was almost over. It was just as well since Thea didn’t want or need a lot of time to dwell on Frankie’s situation or the overlaps with her own past. Her heart ached for Frankie. She wished she could whisk it all away, or at least provide some magic solution that would make it hurt less for her. Since there wasn’t one, she would do what she’d always done—keep the library a safe, welcoming place for those who needed it. Just as it was for her.