Later at night, when her pills had not worked, Jeremy was already in the living room, face bluish like a dead man’s in the fat ray coming off his laptop. He closed the screen and touched the couch when she came into the doorway.
“Saved a seat for you,” he said.
Legs folding beneath her, she got on the couch beside him. He put his arms around her.
“Do you want me to go?” he said.
“Never,” she said.
“You may come to regret your words, more even than already.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t,” he said. “It hasn’t been easy.”
“But I am sorry.”
“Therapists say, ‘Don’t be sorry. Be mindful.’”
“It is so much easier to be sorry,” Alexandra said.
“That is where they trick you.”
“You’re they now,” she said.
“And still I’m us,” he said.
They decided to eat ice creams. Alexandra looked online for a late-night parlor while Jeremy woke Han, said they would have a nighttime adventure. Outside, his arm hugged her sideways, banding them. They arrived and he said every flavor like a question, his boy too big to be carried and still carried, still there tight to his chest, murmuring, “Chocolate.” Someone came from a door in the back of the store.
“Miss Chen,” the man said.
“Ray,” she said.
Jeremy swung his eyes from the glass case, recognition in his ears. He held Han tighter. “What are you doing here?” he said.
“How do you two know each other?” Alexandra said.
“Baba, let go,” Han said. “Baba, it hurts.”
He set Han down. He wiped his son’s shirt for no reason. Wright grinned, arms crossed. “How do we know each other, Bill? I’m old now. The memories drain off.”
“You must be mistaken,” Jeremy said. “Name’s Jeremy.”
“That’s right, that’s right. Jeremy Elwin, is it? Alton?”
“Jordan,” Jeremy said. “I didn’t think you were still living in Bushwick, Ray. I recall you were moving. Leaving the city for good.”
“My work takes me on trips. Bushwick. London. I follow the secrets. Like you, Jeremy.”
“Patient confidentiality, you mean.”
A young cashier addressed them in formal terms, asked of readiness. Alexandra apologized to the cashier. She asked for time and looked into the case. Jeremy held his hand in a fist in his pocket.
“And who is this young fellow?” Ray said, crouching.
“Say hello, Han,” Alexandra said.
Jeremy swung Han back up to his chest. “Praline, salted caramel, and German chocolate.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Ray said.
“It was good to see you, Ray,” Alexandra said. “Thank you for everything you did.”
“Didn’t quite work, did it?”
“Well,” she said.
“That will be my exit then,” Ray said.
Jeremy nodded and crossed his arms. A bell smashed against glass as the man let the door close behind him. Someone selling eyedrops on television said what her friends couldn’t see was itch.
“You weren’t very friendly,” Alexandra said. Jeremy paced while they waited.
“Why don’t we bring this home?” he said.
“It will melt by home.”
“We can walk fast, can’t we, Han? What animal is fastest?”
“Coyote.”
“With cones?” she said.
“I didn’t know you knew Ray,” Jeremy said.
“I hired him to find Shel.”
The cashier hovered cones at them. Alexandra took hers and began eating with a small spoon. Jeremy fetched napkins for the table. He held Han’s hand the entire time.
“He was your therapy client?”
“Someone with knowledge of these systems might affirm such a guess if he were inclined to answer off the record,” Jeremy said.
“Chocolate,” Han said.
“Poor Ray,” Alexandra said. “It cannot be easy to keep custody of so many people’s secrets.”
“He makes his choice,” Jeremy said.
Television voices slid up in volume suddenly. They looked at the cashier, remote in hand, staring. His head was thrown back, and his mouth was dumb and slack. A dark, grainy image oozed and hiccupped on-screen. Then the image spun and a television personality appeared, eyebrows thick with powder and pulled high.
But her eyes were narrowed elsewhere, even as she dug at a cone with a spoon. She was looking out the glass facade and frowning.
“He’s standing across the street,” Alexandra said.
“Who?”
“Ray,” she said.