Someone shakes me long before my body wants to wake up. A blanket is draped over my shoulders, and a warm hand frames my cheek. “Jacqui.” My name, spoken with his voice, makes me smile and wonder at the same time how he knows my real name.
I open my eyes. Kevin is crouching on the floor beside the kitchen table, holding a lit lantern.
“Did I fall asleep?” I rub my eyes and lean my elbows on the table and try to remember the last thing we were talking about—how Jonah, Bowen, and Kevin were going to get into the raiders’ headquarters in the first place. “Did you guys figure out how to get inside?” I ask, stretching.
Kevin nods. “We got it all worked out. Thanks for your help,” he whispers. A tiny smile touches his mouth, but his eyes are sad. He sits in the leather chair that used to be in the family room and I ask him the question that’s been on my mind for a while.
“Who told you my name?” I ask.
He blinks at me, his face unreadable. “Does it matter?”
“Yes. It means one of us wasn’t careful enough.”
“I’ll tell you after we get the cure back from the raiders. Right now there’s something more important for us to talk about.”
My skin prickles with apprehension. Kevin pulls something out of his pocket. He takes my hand and places a paper into it—a neatly folded rectangle.
“What is this?” I start to open it, but Kevin’s hand comes down on mine.
“That is something that could potentially get hundreds of people killed.” I drop the paper onto the table. Kevin laughs and picks it up again, closing my fingers around it. He keeps his hand on mine. “It’s what is written on it that is the danger,” he explains. “If the raiders ever read it, I will be dead, and a lot of people will be in danger.”
“You mean dead as in metaphorically speaking, right?”
He releases my hand and leans back in the chair. “No. Literally dead. As in dead.”
I start unfolding the paper but Kevin’s hand comes down on mine yet again. “What? I can’t read it?”
“Not yet. It’s for in case . . .” His voice fades away, and he closes his eyes, still leaning back as if he’s asleep. He stays that way for a long time, breath moving evenly in and out of him. I stare at his face, studying the way his shoulder-length hair frames it.
“It’s sort of like a last resort—plan Z.” He opens his eyes. They’re heavy and dark. Defeated. “If things get to the point that you don’t know what to do, read it.”
“Wait. If things get to what point?”
“If you get there, you’ll know. If you have to read the paper, memorize every single line of it. And then burn it or eat it or tear it into a thousand pieces and bury it under a boulder. But don’t lose it, and don’t let the raiders get it! Can you promise me that?”
All of a sudden I feel sick. What he’s not saying is there’s a chance he won’t be coming back. The paper seems to squirm against my skin, so I curl my fingers over it. “I promise,” I say, and unzip one of the pockets on my vest and tuck it in, right beside the spare suture packets.
Kevin stands and pulls me to my feet. “Come here.” He wraps his arms around me and sits back down in the chair, cradling me against his chest. I nestle my head into the space where his shoulder and neck join, pressing my cheek against his warm skin. Kevin props his feet up on one of the kitchen chairs, and his arms slowly grow heavy around me, settling over me like a blanket. The rise and fall of his chest gently rocks me, and his body heat fuses with mine, making me feel warm and soft and safe.
“Jack, are you asleep?” he asks after a long while.
“No.” I don’t want to sleep. I want to be aware of every minute of my life right now, enjoy every second just in case. . . .
“You’re an intense runner,” Kevin whispers. “And you’re brave.” His right hand moves to his left arm, touching the spot where I cut him. “You know how to heal. You can cook.” He sighs. “And you’re beautiful.” He puts his warm, callused hand on my cheek and tilts my face toward his. “You’re like this perfect package all mixed up into one small, stunning person.”
My nerves seem to come alive, pulsing with an electric current that warms my skin and quickens my heart. My gaze drifts from his eyes to his mouth, and I pull his head down until our lips meet. I will savor this moment and remember it until the day I die.
My dreams aren’t about food. They’re about Kevin. I need to get his attention because something dark is trying to consume him. I scream his name, and he finally notices me. And that’s when I realize the truth. The darkness isn’t trying to consume him. He is the darkness. And he’s consuming me.
Something clutches my shoulder and I jerk away.
“Jacqui.”
I open my eyes, peel my cheek off Kevin’s shoulder, and then sit up.
Kevin is staring at me, his eyes so serious they look gray instead of blue. “I need to get ready to leave now.”
“Already? I thought you were leaving at sunrise.” I rub my eyes and glance at my watch. It’s six o’clock. “Oh. It is sunrise.” I stumble to my feet and try to look like the thought of him leaving isn’t tearing me up on the inside. I hug the blanket around me and go into the other room.
Bowen and Fo are standing in the corner, wrapped in an embrace. Jonah, wearing a massive backpack, is waiting by the exit with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head. At his side stands the beast-boy. The boy looks at me. His slanted eyes are huge in his gaunt face. Jonah crouches by the boy. “That’s Jack,” he says. “She’s going to keep you safe until I come back.” Jonah gently wraps his arms around the boy and pats his back a few times.
“Flapjack.” Bowen walks up to me and gives me a quick hug. “Keep her safe.” I nod. With one more look at Fo, he strides out the door.
Fo crosses the room and wraps her arms around Jonah. “Be safe,” she says. “And take care of Bowen.”
He tries to smile at her. “I don’t think Bowen needs me to take care of him, but I’ll do my best.” He lets her go and nods at me, his blind eye looking in the wrong direction. “Be brave, Jack,” he says, and goes out the door.
Kevin comes out of the kitchen with his hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing his camouflage hat. He lifts a big backpack off the floor and puts it on, careful not to bump his left arm. Then he takes my hand and pulls me out the door and into the narrow space where the ladder is. I look up just as Jonah reaches the top and blink at the dawn sky. Kevin shuts the shelter door, closing us into the tiny space. Because of his backpack, there’s no extra room. I have to stand pressed between him and the wall. His closeness steals my breath, and I look at his face.
Before I know what’s happening, he kisses me like he’s starved for my lips. My knees buckle, but he’s pinning me against the wall.
He pulls his mouth away. “Lock the door, and don’t let anyone in unless you know it is me or Jonah or Bowen. Don’t come up for anything!”
I nod. “I’m going to miss you. Please come back.” The words barely come out.
Kevin smiles and trails his fingers over my cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he whispers. “I’m glad you finally got to meet the real me.” And with that, he opens the door, gently shoves me back into the shelter, and slams the door shut. The hollow thud of his feet on the ladder resonate in the shelter.
“Wait,” I whisper, staring at the door. “Wait!” This time I yell it. “What do you mean I finally got to meet the real you?”
Voice muted by the door, he yells, “Hopefully you’ll find out!”