The Provocative Path
Where I’m Leading You
For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.
ARISTOTLE, Nichomachean Ethics
It turns out there is a path to help you become the woman you are aching to become.
This path is well worn and always brings you home, but please do not mistake it for a script, a map, or a blueprint.
This path is provocative, just as the title of this book suggests. This path is unruly, messy, and a wee bit naughty, and audaciously asks you to trust the very parts of yourself that you previously warred against. This path demands that as you stride into your own bright life, instead of using a script, map, or blueprint, you use your sensuous, desirous, wildly feeling female body as a steadfast and trustworthy compass. (Which may at first sound like blasphemy, but I assure you can actually be gospel. “Good,” “orderly,” and “perfect” are so last century, anyway.)
So be forewarned: this path is highly nonconformist, requires boatloads of moxie, and will be relayed by a provocateur in hiking boots without a money-back guarantee. Nice to meet you, I’m LiYana, and I’ll be your gospel-singing, hiking-booted Sherpa on this path for the next 250 or so pages.
I was not born with the reverence and respect I now have for femininity. I had to learn it, lose it, re-learn it, and recover it. I had to fall, fail, flail, and rise again. More times than I was comfortable with, honestly. I am not about to reveal some conspiracy theory. There are not (for the most part) armies of men out there, waiting to do you in. Nor is the trick to simply kick your masculine strengths to the curb and be more feminine. I want to re-introduce you to your often maligned and ignored feminine strengths so that you can integrate them with your already awesome masculine strengths. For these reasons, and more, I like to think that I make quite a trusty — albeit unorthodox — tour guide on the path of Feminine Genius.
This path is one to becoming fully yourself: feeling at home in your skin and gloriously sexy. Connecting to a deeper sense of why you are here and what you are called to contribute. Wise, bold choice making. A rich sensual life. Profound intimacy. Creative fire. Deep strength. Epic love.
Passion. Grace. Humility and wild abandon.
Confidence — the untamable kind.
This path requires you, as it has required me, to use a radical and new lens with which to see yourself. To see that your face is the face of the Goddess. That your ups and downs are a not a sickness and that your sexuality is not dangerous. That there is a kernel of wisdom inside every one of your demons. That your impulses, intuitions, and longings are how the Holy One has a word with you.
As you get the hang of using this lens, you will see that your body is not evidence of your fall from grace; it is actually your very portal to the Divine. That your desires aren’t saboteurs; they can actually act like fertilizer, growing your wisdom. That you can express your desires in a way that has others excited to help you meet them. That you can surf and sail your emotions, rather than be sunk by them. That inner peace doesn’t just come through calming your mind, but also through shakin’ what your mama gave you. That you can — and must — loosen any energy blocks you may have developed from years of holding back your truth, and seal up any energy leaks you might have developed from years of fearing other women as the enemy.
This path asks of you, as it asks of me, to take on an often counterintuitive set of life practices so that you can thrive magnificently in a world built for the Masculine Genius in all of us. And in doing so, re-create the world as one that works for men and women alike, which is a mission particularly suited to Feminine Genius. Our collective, crazy, war-torn past need not become your future. It won’t, unless you authorize it.
this, Beloved, is a most auspicious
time to be a woman
So, wherever you are in the world and wherever you are on your personal journey, welcome. You are welcome here. I wrote this for you.
Whether you are a soaring entrepreneur or an aspiring student, an established exec or mover and shaker, a hopeful mother or a determined wife, an intellectual or an artist, a ladder-climber or spiritual seeker (or a bit of each), allow me to embolden you to turn down the volume on everyone else’s advice, shred the script you have been handed, and learn to source your guidance and wisdom from within. Let me offer you this book to use as your walking staff as you stride down the path into a brilliant (although imperfect) life that is your destiny and legacy.
A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.
FRANZ KAFKA
A deep bow to you for picking up the axe. You are extraordinary and brave and radical and my heroine for being here. For the sliver of geography in every woman that is frozen, let me offer some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for your light and heat — that magnificence that gushes free when you ruthlessly swing the axe and gently turn yourself back on. In a world that will tell you ten thousand times a day you are wrong, I will unflinchingly remind you, in a thousand different ways, of your rightness.
As I see it, women are like candle flames: dazzling sources of light and fire. But most of us are dimmed way down. Barely a flicker. When I try to count the collective woman-hours we spend self-bashing and attempting to become superwomen — or men — I realize I can’t count that high.
What might be possible if those woman-hating woman-hours were diverted and instead channeled into a healthy body, a healthy mind, a reinvigorated sex life, a true sense of self-love, an act of creativity, a consciously created family, a new business, a community service? As I see it, the root cause of the world’s suffering is that women are dimmed down, stressed-out, and burned-out. The woman who will help to light, lead, and heal our world does the radical act of turning her own inner flame back on.
This path is designed to give you just what you need so you can: Turn. Yourself. Back. On.
Do you know what a woman feels like, awake and fully thawed?
As seeker — looking God in the eye in the bathroom mirror. Loving this life that has met you at your razor’s edge and tossed you over that edge, as only a holy trickster can.
As mother — playful and present. Modeling for the next generation what you now know to be true about a woman’s body, feelings, longings, and divinity.
As lover — sensually alive and communing. A living, breathing temple to ecstasy, to discovering facets of yourself you never knew existed, wielding your unvarnished, untarnished, divine, healing power.
As leader — deeply in love with those you serve. Whether one-on-one or to multitudes, contributing meaningfully to the world, without burning out.
As friend — vulnerable, brave, and bold. Speaking up, getting lit off another’s brilliance, and then passing along the favor the next chance you get.
Can you picture a world filled with this kind of woman?
I can. (Hint: she looks like you.)
So let me take you now, before the gangrene of this crazy world does.
It is the world that’s nutso, woman, not you. You are right as rain. The power that attracts metal filings to a magnet is the same power that surges through your belly. The wisdom that lets the cherry trees know when to burst into bloom is the same wisdom that runs through your veins. The light that a candle spreads over a dusky room is the same light that shines from your eyes. The brilliance that funded Einstein is waiting for you, Feminine Genius.
The world may have simply forgotten how wise, clear, powerful, and magical you are. But I have not.
And you, too, can remember.
your body never lies
your hunger is holy
your truth is a direct line to the Divine
what you deeply desire
will lead you into the life you were
born to live
and will require you
to become the woman you are
aching to become
As you lace up your walking boots and get ready to take your first steps onto this provocative path, let me give you your general itinerary. In the next two chapters of part one, Going to the Source, I will show you where the trouble starts for too many girls and young women, a place in time when your power may have lessened but where your life story can start to be powerfully rewritten. And then it is time to say hello to Feminine Genius herself. It’s darn near impossible to capture this force of nature in a single sound bite, so you’ll have to join me in that chapter where we will go right to the Source.
The rest of this book — part discourse, part workbook, part story, part hymnal — is divided into three more parts, Navigating Your Dark, Embodying Your Genius, and Cultivating Your Light.
Navigating Your Dark
I deliberately head straight into the dark stuff because I stand for the underdog and underbelly in us all. I find that there is nothing like your dark — a storm of “negative” emotions, a long streak of “bad luck,” or the crumbling of your world — to stop you in your tracks or make you turn on yourself. If you can make it through your dark, you can make it anywhere.
You probably don’t yet know that your shadow is simply parts of yourself you haven’t met yet. Waiting in your dark is a shaft of light pointing you toward your next move. The dark is not punishment for being weak; it holds the keys to your strength. The dark is not a step off your path; it is an integral part of your journey. The dark forges the lead of your doubts into the gold of your courage. Once you learn how to navigate the underworld of the unknown, it becomes impossible to feel truly forsaken, ever again.
Embodying Your Genius
Allow me to re-introduce you to some forgotten truths: Your mind is not the smartest thing about you; your body is wildly intelligent. Your body is not an impediment to divinity; your body is divine. Your passion, intuition, and inspiration for what you came here to do, this call and response with whatever you call God, is a language you can learn. The mouthpiece for this mother tongue is right in your body, albeit in an unlikely location.
The very things you have assumed will ruin you — your impulses, urges, desires, and erotic energy — are actually designed to reconnect you with your life-force and holy fire. When understood and integrated into your psyche, these truths help you embody your wisdom and guide you home.
Cultivating Your Light
As I see it, women are made to burn bright. In this final section, I lay out mindsets and practices to help you keep your flame lit in a world that tends to dim you. So that you can re-learn why divine guidance is best heard when you are turned on. So that you can re-forge the connection of your pleasure to your confidence. So that you can use your ups as well as your downs to feel more powerfully present and alive. So that you can boldly express your desires, and fully receive them when they come.
So that, as you bring your Feminine Genius into your friendships, relationships, and everyday life, you can lay a path of light through the darkness in our world.
HOW TO SUCK THE MARROW OUT OF THESE PAGES
You picked up this book. You want significant change. Here’s how you can fully absorb the wisdom here and make it yours.
Do the Practices
Your body’s wisdom is not found through conceptual thought or through contemplating philosophies. Your inner knowing is not sourced through thinking deeply on theoretical hypotheses. Your confidence, clarity, and creativity are not static concepts. Each arises as an unmistakable felt sense from your actual physical body.
So, please, toss your blood-and-bone self into the laboratory of trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. Try things on and see how they fit before you decide they are — or are not — for you. And as you follow the “letter of the law” in trying out the practices as I have laid them out, please also drink in the “spirit of the law,” and transmute my intentions into your own lawless authority.
When You Have an Aha! Moment, Record It
A journal is a great way to record your insights. My favorite is sticky notes. The inside of your arm (or thigh) will do in a pinch, as will the virgin margins of this book. But, here’s why: each aha! is a light bulb of insight that your inner genius switched on just for you. Each aha! is a tiki torch shedding some light on your trail as you walk.
So take note. Nail those suckers to the wall. They are slippery little buggers, so it’s good to pin them down with pen and ink. Greedily gather these breadcrumbs on the path to your becoming fully yourself.
Should You Skip Around or Read from Beginning to End?
Great question. I wrote this book so that you could, starting with your big toe, slowly and incrementally submerge your whole wise body in these hot waters without suddenly scalding yourself. That’s the compelling case for starting on page one and proceeding in an orderly fashion to the end.
However, I love rebels. If you choose the haphazard route, I suggest you treat each non sequitur nugget you come across as medicine. Let it blaze in your belly, light you up like a firecracker, and burn away all that no longer serves you.
And I suggest you don’t make your way through this book entirely alone. For practices and resources that were too rebellious to be included here, and for my guidelines for forming a book club so you can walk this provocative path with a few fellow Feminine Geniuses, come find me at liyanasilver.com/bookresources.
This is a book about the biggies: your body, soul, and inner knowing; about women, intelligence, desire, sex, God, and power. Somewhere in here, if not on every page, I am bound to smack one of your sacred cows right between the eyes. I speak frankly about women’s experiences, many of which are, frankly, heartbreaking. But since I don’t think polite silence or tidy language serves anyone, my cow-smacking frankness is a good thing, I promise. If a term I use doesn’t work for you, swap it out for one of your own that does. Just stay with me.
And listen, although I love the rigors of research as much as the next goddess, I ultimately care less about what some study “proves” than what the hallowed halls of your mind, heart, and body know is true. Honestly, sometimes I wish that my task of reuniting a woman with her truth was easier, neater, and less controversial, but what’s a gal to do? This is no time for the faint of heart. Everything is at stake. Someone has to say it so that you can live life on your own terms.
Wake Up, Every Day
Instead of shutting yourself up in an ashram, university, or convent, this path demands that you throw open the gates and welcome in your stinky, quirky, workaday life. This path says that even your lust, wrath, and greed can help you to awaken. This path asks that you intermingle the sacred and mundane so that the ordinary becomes the extraordinary. As author Mirabai Starr says, “Our greatest sages do not bail out of this world; they embrace it. Enlightened beings become more human, not less. They too crave chocolate, they wake up in bad moods, they flirt at parties. They are us.”1
Wake up, sage.
Will This Work for You?
This material has been culled from over fourteen years of my work with women, and has proven useful for me, for readers, for clients, for participants, and for friends. However, I would never presume to know what is best for every woman. It is my sincere prayer, as you tuck into these pages, that you feel my reverence for your unique story and that you unearth for yourself a gem — or ten.
I have never come across a woman who truly wanted to find her way back to herself, who didn’t. And, sister, if that is what you want, I want that for you. So much, in fact, that I wrote you a freakin’ book. So, give it a whirl. And for the love of all that is holy, track me down and share with me how you made it work for yourself.
Whatever You Do, Use It
Use this book as a set of coordinates to find your own way home. Chew it and swallow it whole. Get blood on your chin. Dog-ear the pages, rip sections out and post them on your bathroom wall, highlight passages that sing in your ears. Please don’t contemplate it passively like an innocent bystander. Don’t use it as an expensive paperweight or let it gather dust on your nightstand. Use it up. This book will alter forever the course of your woman’s life, if you let it.
Let it.
fiercely embodying the Sacred Feminine
is a process of coming home
as well as becoming home
welcome home, woman
welcome home.