Opium wars

In the 1840s and ’50s, China waged war against England for importing addictive drugs into their country. The wars were unsuccessful.

GENERAL: Are you men ready to lay down your lives for the good of China?

FIRST SOLDIER: Yes, sir!

SECOND SOLDIER: Absolutely!

GENERAL: Excellent. Once we destroy those ships, the cursed British will never be able to poison our city with opium again.

FIRST SOLDIER: What do you mean, sir?

GENERAL: When we destroy the British ships, the opium trade will finally end.

FIRST SOLDIER: End? I don’t understand.

SECOND SOLDIER: Wait a minute … General … are you saying that we’re fighting against opium?

GENERAL: Yes. Why did you think we were fighting the British?

FIRST SOLDIER: I assumed it was to get them to send us more opium.

SECOND SOLDIER: Same here. That’s probably the only reason I would ever fight anyone.

GENERAL: …

FIRST SOLDIER: Sir, have you ever tried opium?