Why do bad things happen to good people?

GOD: Who’s that guy swimming in the lake?

ANGEL: Joshua Alpert.

GOD: Really? In that case … (Strikes lake with lightning.)

ANGEL: Whoa … God … why did you do that?

GOD: Oh, he was a horrible human being. He shot his own parents when he was twelve years old. In fact, he was the youngest murderer in the history of Nebraska.

ANGEL: But … that guy was from Vermont.

GOD: …

ANGEL: …

GOD: Don’t tell me there are two Joshua Alperts.