Sally gazed out of the window and thought there was something very special about a white Christmas. Everything outside was crisp and glistening and fluffy white snowflakes were fluttering down from an iced blue sky.
The doorbell jangled and she heard Bella greeting people, heard the stamping of feet as she shook off the snow, the jovial greetings and the rustle of wrapping paper on the gifts they carried.
For a moment it was all in the hazy distance, because Sally’s thoughts were sailing across the Atlantic to a ‘small house with well-established rose garden’, which was how Gavin’s letter had described his and Anna’s new home. There was a photograph stuck up on the notice board of Anna standing proudly before the white painted picket fence.
Sally wondered what kind of Christmas Day they were celebrating over there in the States and whether Gavin would have a thought for her as Anna opened the present of a Jojo musical clown she had sent.
“Merry Christmas, Sally!” Rob, his face glowing pink with the cold, his eyes shining happily, came and gave her a hug. “This is Stephen. You said I could bring somebody – I hope you don’t mind?”
“Of course not, Merry Christmas Rob – Stephen – make yourselves at home.” She shook hands with Rob’s new partner and decided she liked the look of him. He had honest eyes and a nice smile. "I’ll just go and put the finishing touches to the punch.”
“Hope it’s hot and spicy like you usually make!” Rob unwound a scarf from his neck and stood, rubbing his hands together.
“Hot, spicy and very alcoholic,” Sally laughed. “Bella knocked my elbow as I was pouring in the rum. She said it was an accident.”
“Well, you don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to,” Bella called out from the kitchen where she was basting the turkey.
Everything was prepared. Despite feeling dull around the edges, Sally had been determined to have a jolly, family Christmas with Bella and Rob and a couple of the girls who worked for her and, like her, didn’t have anywhere else to go at the festive season.
Jane and Linda were stacking presents under the Christmas tree while nibbling on crisps and nuts and generally enjoying themselves like excited children. It was just a pity that there weren’t any children present, because that was what made Christmas real, Sally always thought.
She had wondered about throwing the shop open just for the afternoon, but it wouldn’t have been fair on the staff that was needed to run things. However, she had lit the place up and set off the carousel which was now playing seasonal carols to lend a little magic to the Christmas atmosphere.
“Let’s take the punch and the nibbles downstairs,” she decided suddenly and Bella looked at her as if she was mad. “I want to hear the music better. I want to see the coloured lights and the horses going around and around and up and down and…”
“All right! All right! I’m convinced. Everybody downstairs!”
They had closed off the backyard area as an added security precaution. The work had been finished last week. It had made a big difference and Sally felt a lot safer coming and going that way.
She had stopped looking out of her bedroom window expecting to see the glow of a cigarette every night after dark. That, of course, had been Bruce, the bogus brother of Rob, who was doing a short stretch in Her Majesty’s Prison for his part in the affair. And back in the States, Lorn Macey and Nadine were doing a much longer stretch between them. The authorities had, for once, been on the ball and moved in before the couple could disappear.
Gavin’s name, of course, had been cleared. With Macey safe behind bars there was no end of witnesses speaking out against him.
“Sally! Hey! Where are you?” Sally swung around, not sure which one of the girls had called out to her.
“Sorry?” She had been standing in front of the carousel, her mind a million miles away, her heart feeling like a heavy brick inside her.
“Linda and I are opting to open prezzies now with the punch,” Jane said and the others nodded in total accord.
“Anything you say,” Sally smiled at them all, feeling a warm glow creep over her. She really must pull herself together and get on with her life. Gavin was history. She just wished he was long-past history, instead of something that was still close enough to touch her. Close enough to hurt.
Linda suddenly grabbed her and gave her a sisterly hug. “It’s really super of you to have us here today and it’s – oh, everything is so wonderful and…” She looked close to tears.
“Oh, for goodness sake, don’t! We’ll all be crying buckets if you go on like that!” Bella gave the girl an affectionate push and was about to say something to Sally when a rattling at the door made them all look in that direction.
“Hey, look!” Rob pointed at a small figure and a face pressed up against the glass of the door. “Is that who I think it is? Sally?”
Sally took a step or two forward, not believing her eyes. It was difficult to be sure, since the small girl was muffled up in clothes to keep out the winder chill and was sprinkled liberally with snow.
“Sally!”
She heard the child’s high voice penetrating the reinforced double glazing, saw the dark eyes widening, the pretty face dimpling into a smile.
“Anna? Anna, is that you?” She unlocked the door and pulled it wide. “What on earth…?”
Anna almost fell in upon her, hugging her tightly. Snowflakes billowed in after her. Then a movement to the side caught Sally’s attention. She looked up and her mouth opened silently with astonishment at the sight of Gavin standing there in the street, tall and dark and handsome. And he was looking at her with such an intense expression in his wonderful eyes and an uncertain smile playing about his mouth.
“Gavin!”
“Can we come in, Sally?”
Sally blinked snow from her eyelashes, shivered and stepped back into the shop, aware that her friends were all gathering around, full of curiosity at the latest visitors.
“Of course you can come in. Goodness, Gavin, you must be frozen standing out there like that. I – er – I think you’ve probably met everybody – er – except Stephen – Rob’s new friend….”
“I hope we’re not disturbing a family gathering,” Gavin stepped inside and brushed snow from his broad shoulders.
Sally left Rob to close the door behind him. She didn’t seem too capable of functioning right now. Her legs had turned to jelly.
“You’re more than welcome,” Bella stood on tiptoe to help Gavin remove his coat. Her eyes were big and shining and her thin eyebrows were almost out of control as she made signals to Sally from behind the big American’s back. “Isn’t he, Sally? The little one too. We’ve missed her – both of you –eh, Sally?”
“…er – yes.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Gavin’s mouth twitched and a spark of humour shot into his eyes, then he rubbed his hands together and sniffed the air. “Is that hot rum punch I can smell?”
Sally turned back to the punch, filled a glass with the steamy, spicy liquid and held it out to him. It shook discernibly and some of it spilled when he reached out and his fingers touched hers as he took it from her.
“Sorry!”
“Nervous?”
“Why should I be nervous?”
“I don’t know. Why should you?”
They fell silent then, looking at one another and it was all old memories and seeing things for the first time and Sally’s knees were beginning to give way beneath her.
“Sally! Sally! Where’s Jojo?” Anna was tugging at her, her eyes big and round like saucers, her cheeks dimpled.
“Jojo?” Sally recovered some equilibrium and glanced around her. “Well, I don’t know, Anna. You know, even clowns get time off at Christmas. Maybe – er – um – maybe Rob could go and look for him. It’s just possible he hasn’t gone home to Clownland.”
Sally raised her eyebrows at Rob, who got the message and disappeared smartly into the staffroom.
“Is there really a place called Clownland?” Anna was ecstatic with her new knowledge.
“Well, of course! Clowns go home to Clownland and Santa goes home to Santaland and….”
“Do you believe in Santa Claus, Sally?” The little girl looked doubtful. “Mummy told me that he doesn’t really exist and that it’s all a silly story to fool children and make them appear stupid.”
“My goodness, Anna, that’s a big sentence for such a little girl!” Sally laughed and caught Gavin’s eye. He was watching her with his daughter with an expression she hoped she wasn’t mistaking.
“I believe in Clownland and Santaland and all the people who live in them, Anna,” Sally continued. “There are real clowns and there is certainly a real Santa Claus. He doesn’t always get around to everybody, which is sad, but then it’s a big world and there are lots of people – not just little children – who are making wishes out there.”
Anna thought about that, then a smile broke out all over her pretty face. “I made two wishes, Sally,” she said. “I wished that I could come back here and ride on the Rose Carousel again with you and Daddy.”
“Did you really?”
“Uh-huh! And I made another wish, but Daddy made me promise not to tell you, because he made the same wish and it’s a great big secret, but I don’t understand why…”
“Anna!” Gavin spoke sharply, but he was smiling. “There’s no need to give all our secrets away just yet, honey.”
Anna heaved a great sigh and looked at Sally with a very mature woman to woman ‘men!’ expression on her face.
At which point they were all saved from further embarrassment by the arrival of Bella and the girls bearing trays of hot canapés, which everyone fell on hungrily.
“Nice, isn’t it?” Bella whispered in Sally’s ear in passing. “Just like a family Christmas ought to be.”
“It’s pretty close,” Sally agreed, watching with a swelling heart as Gavin hunkered down to have a private chat with his daughter and they looked so good together she wanted to cry.
“Hello, hello, hello! And a very Merry Christmas to one and all!” Rob, dressed as Jojo, burst into their midst and there was much laughter, especially from Anna, who flew to join him and plant a kiss on his bulbous red nose. His ears lit up immediately and her happy giggles were like the sound of fairy bells to Sally’s ears.
“Daddy, is it all right for Jojo and me to ride the carousel?” Anna wanted to know, already pulling Rob in that direction.
“I guess it’s okay, isn’t it, Sally?” Gavin was there by her side, he was smiling down at her and his hand was fumbling for hers and she was blushing madly.
“Yes – um – yes, of course. I’ll just start it off.”
“No need, dear lady,” Jojo pronounced, holding up his big white-gloved hands. “Jojo can do it. Now, princess! Which stallion shall we ride?”
“The unicorn!” Anna jumped up and down in her excitement, clapping her small, chubby hands together.
“Then the unicorn it is. Allez-up!” Rob lifted Anna onto her mount and climbed up behind her with a wink to the others and an encouraging finger that told them to do likewise.
Sally and Gavin laughed to see the whole gathering scrambling to get up onto the slowly moving horses until there was only one horse left vacant.
“Daddy! Sally! Come on! You too!”
Sally glanced up at Gavin and found his eyes already on her and they seemed to be burning into her heart and mind.
“Shall we join them, Sally?” Gavin asked and she nodded, feeling her cheeks burn as he picked her up bodily and almost threw her onto the galloping white stallion with the red and gold crown and the royal blue saddle.
The carousel was gathering momentum, the music getting faster and louder. Suddenly, with one easy leap like a cowboy mounting his horse, Gavin was there behind her, so close that they might almost be one. One arm came around her waist, while the other gripped the reins.
Sally felt herself rise and fall in undulating movements as the carousel swept around and around. Her head was swimming, but it wasn’t just because of the punch or the ride.
Gavin leaned forward, putting his face hard against hers. “I could get used to this!” he shouted in her ear. “How about you?”
“I – I’m not sure – I….I need time to get acclimatised….”
“I’m prepared to wait, Sally – if you’ll promise to get acclimatised to me – and to Anna.” Sally could do nothing but breathe deeply and try to control the mad beating of her heart, which he must surely feel through the silk sweater she was wearing. “Do I have to spell it out, Sally? We both love you, Anna and I. Now, do you understand what I’m trying to say to you?”
Sally was suddenly aware that the carousel had stopped and so had the music, yet it all still seemed to be going on in her head.
“Oh, dear!” She laughed, a light, embarrassed sound. “It’s funny, but I could swear I’m still going around and up and down and I feel so light-headed…”
“Me too,” Gavin murmured against her ear as his arms tightened around her from behind. His mouth nuzzled her neck, giving her tiny butterfly kisses, his hands slowly but surely started exploring her breasts.
Sally came to in a blinding flash, then realised that they were alone. The others had tactfully withdrawn to the flat upstairs. No doubt Bella and the girls were checking on the turkey and organising the first course. Stephen would be opening the champagne and Jojo would be turning himself back into Rob. Sally would be waiting impatiently…
“I don’t know…” Sally started to speak, but Gavin had her face in his hands and was turning her so he could find her mouth and his was hungry and she had never felt like this before.
“Admit it, Sally,” he was saying against her lips. “Admit that you felt exactly like me the first time we met. Oh, my God, I’ve never wanted any woman more. Tell me you felt the same for me.”
Sally groaned. How could she deny it? “Oh, yes, Gavin! Yes!”
Almost as if by magic, the hurdy-gurdy Christmas music started up again and the undulating movement of the white stallion beneath them took them soaring higher and higher.
The End