Far and Near
My heart drums a rhythm
your heart drums
a rhythm
but distantly.
Voluptuous spring will grace and depart the landscape
like this, distantly.
Stars will glimmer,
like this distantly.
Everything will stay, like this
distant.
But the taste of your desire
its savage music
will sit inside my heart,
close.
Devadasi and Pujari†
Look, come see a dance, the dance, the undefiled dance of a devadasi
slowly, slowly sorrow’s shadow slipped off my heart
she measures out her feet, softly softly, my mind wants
to become moonlight, extinguished on the floor
hidden behind a stone pillar I should look at her
silently, silently realize in wonder that
like a goddess-statue come to life you are dancing, dancing
like a forgetful queen of an army of water-sprites descended to earth
and ripples on water stir so, flicker
or a restless jungle deer who slithers on leaves
a cobra/female in a darkened jungle hisses and sways
like my covetous/lusting eyes sliding over her body
the devadasi stroking the earth, shows/exposes colors
black, black glittering eyes like lightning dance
and pearl-diamond jewelry glitters in light like this
in a high, blue-black sky canopy, like stars and moon glimmering.
When I see
the fold of her slip taut under her arms
then should the ordinary thud of my heart
and my breath sharpen fast
when ripples flow through the long, loose, limber skirt
and its swirl subsides
every vein in my mind shudders
a melody of signs pours
coming forward, retreating, arrested/standing-still shuddering
carefully carefully she falls, falling with care
fearful, hesitant, then with pleasure, fearlessly coming forward
let the hesitant boat of dharma slide/roll, my dharma fall/drop
dancing, dancing when (she) tires, tiring when there’s confusion
it should take away together my composure, my peace, my
intellect/wisdom
then this sweet scene should dissolve/vanish from my sight
the shadows of the long stone pillar fold themselves around her
like crowding clouds gathering lightning into their skirts.
I Forgot
From town to town the tourist wandered
and lost
the road to his house.
What belongs to me
what you own
he forgot
what was his and what was another’s.
What he forgot, how he forgot
why ask about it.
Just think of it this way:
the cause isn’t a sin;
he simply forgot.
How those days were
how those nights were
how were those words—the assaults.
My mind is a child
it forgot
the beautiful dream of love.
A ray peeped out from behind darkness
hesitated coyly.
I remembered
vaguely the outline,
but her face,
I forgot.
Roaming in search of memories
my heart
was so assaulted
happiness in sorrow, sorrow in happiness
this mysterious distinction
I forgot.
It’s a question of a look
it’s a question of a moment
breaths, a cord tied around a waist
when the light from one glance
dissolved
when the moment passed
I forgot.
It’s not a question of understanding something
my mind is a pleasure-seeking
drunk
I drowned my head in rippling waves
the sea, however,
I forgot.
While laughing
while playing games
in conversations
color dissolved.
Although I had a heart
I forgot
my oozing wounds.
My life, which passes away,
my spent life has been spent.
When my heart took away my life
I spent my life
laughing
and forgot
to lament and cry.
Whoever you look at, in their heart
if there’s a complaint
it’s just this:
I remembered every single thing
but time forgot
us.
If anyone asks
Who said this,
tell them what’s in your heart.
Miraji talked and repented
and then,
having talked,
forgot.