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Waking up beside Nick was... strange.
In a good way.
I expected to feel a little uncomfortable, a little awkward – first overnight visit standard feelings.
Do I look cute when I sleep?
Was I snoring?
Was I... farting?
Did I sleep with my mouth open and a fly flew inside? Is there a fly in my mouth right now?!
But no... there was none of the silliness in waking up beside Nick. I felt light, and happy, and I was somehow still buzzing and giddy from last night’s sexcapades. Before my eyes came open, I was aware of the weight of his arm draped around my waist, hand flat against my belly to keep me close. Next was the realization he was hard, and it was digging into my back, reminding me of the way we’d spent the night.
But he’s asleep... is it just a morning thing, or is it... something else?
I lifted a little, trying to gauge asleep he was. I got my answer when he shifted away from my movements and rolled onto his back, trying to find a new comfortable spot since I’d disturbed him. A few seconds later, the subtle rise and fall of his chest resumed, and soft snores broke the relative silence of the room.
And his boxers were barely restraining him.
After a few more moment of deliberation, I decided not to wake him up to ask if the blood flow away from his dick was okay – something only on my mind thanks to the fine doctors at Google medical center. I’d read something about men with sickle cell staying hard too long, and the prolonged state causing irreversible damage, and....
Ugh.
Screw you, Google.
I eased my way out of bed, deciding that if I came back in twenty minutes and he was still doing his best redwood tree impression, then I would wake him up. I looked up at myself in the bathroom mirror as I snagged my toothpaste and toothbrush from the counter. Had we really made it to a place where I was going to wake this man up to ask about his dick?
Well... yes.
We had.
I took my toiletries with me to Arizona’s bathroom, knowing she wouldn’t mind. I didn’t want to wake Nick up before I had to, and Arizona was – funny enough – out in LA for the next few weeks, since the cohost of her pop-culture talk show had moved. Like Nick and I, they’d been making it work separately. But... like Nick and I... that distance couldn’t last forever. Especially when Arizona loved LA anyway. She was already looking for a new place.
I took my time going through my morning routine, knowing it would be hard not to bug Nick once I was done. Smiling at myself in the mirror as I undid the two thick braids I’d taken the time to force my hair into last night, I thought about how different things were for me, not even two months ago.
Hell, two weeks ago.
Nick’s insistence on coming to see me had been a pleasant surprise, and a welcomed reassurance that I wasn’t alone in my quickly-growing feelings. Although I complained about the distance, it had given way to a dynamic where he and I simply talked. A lot. Without proximity, we couldn’t make it about a physical connection – I actually liked Nick, the person.
It didn’t hurt that our obvious chemistry hadn’t been wasted on a physical connection that turned out to be wack. I’d been a little nervous after researching the possible ways sickle cell could complicate sex – again, screw Google – but I was very, very, very pleased to find Nick wasn’t letting any of that hold him back.
The pleasant ache between my thighs was proof.
I bit my lip, trying to keep from smiling as I walked into the kitchen, but it broke free anyway, so I let it happen. By the time I put a glass up to the dispenser on the fridge to get some water, I was full-on beaming, and couldn’t seem to be still, bouncing on the balls of my feet in time to music in my head. I took a sip, using my free hand to milly rock, just a little, as I turned back to my counter.
When I looked up, Nick was at the entrance to the kitchen, arms crossed over his bare chest as he leaned against the wall, looking thoroughly amused by my antics. “Are you always this happy in the mornings?”
“What?” I asked, grinning. “You’ve never hit a little “happy to be alive” milly rock first thing in the morning?”
He chuckled, then moved from the wall to walk an unhurried path into the kitchen. “I can’t say I have, but I’m glad to have experienced yours.”
When he pulled me into his arms, the fact that I wasn’t being poked in the stomach was the first thing to come to my attention. “Oh, it went down!”
“Huh?” Nick asked, frowning, and I quickly shook my head.
“Nothing. What time do you want to start shooting today?”
I’d taken the day away from the office, planning for us to do the shooting for Nick’s film, which he insisted wouldn’t take more than the day. I already had outfits planned for each “scene”, and I was ready to go.
“This afternoon. You’ve got good lighting from your windows, so we’ll use that, and then I’ll adjust in post.” He released his hold on me to go to where his jacket was hanging by the front door, and pulled a mini-pill dispenser from the pocket. “For now though, I need to eat something so I can take these, go back to my hotel and get cleaned up, then pack up everything to bring here.”
I leaned onto the counter. “You mean, where you should’ve brought it all in the first place?”
“Noah...”
“Nick...”
He laughed. “Come on. Your ass knows exactly why I didn’t.”
“Because we’re both, to different degrees, trying to pretend like this isn’t some next level, “this is probably my soul mate” kind of thing? Both trying to play it cool, and treat it the same way we treated those practice relationships?”
“Practice relationships?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
I sucked my teeth. “You know exactly what I mean, Nick. Every intimate connection – and not just the romantic ones - come with lessons. For you to learn what you like and don’t like, will or won’t accept, can and can’t do, for you to hurt, and heal. Practice. But I think this – we – are maybe... what the other person has been practicing toward. Maybe. That probably sounds completely crazy, doesn’t it?”
“Nah,” he chuckled, leaning onto the counter across from me. “I don’t think it sounds crazy, but I think you may be overestimating the amount of practice I’ve had. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I have this thing where, when faced with a decision... I choose whatever makes the better story. Like, if my life was a film, what would I rather see?”
I frowned. “Uhh... that sounds a little... irresponsible.”
Nick straightened up to laugh. “Wait, let me explain better – I don’t necessarily mean, what’s more high action, or what would cause more drama, but literally, what would I rather see? I’d rather watch myself get on that plane to surprise you at your office. I’d rather watch myself show up at your event to try to convince you I wasn’t some flaky fuckboy than sit back and let you disappear from the story forever. I’d... rather take the risk of getting hurt, than wonder for the rest of my life... was Noah the one, and I pushed her away out of fear? That would have been a depressing ass movie.”
“Yeah, maybe so,” I laughed. “But, I must say that reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask you, and didn’t want to mess up the flow, I guess. But... before I knew about your SCD, you were on it. You made it seem like you wanted me so bad, you wanted a chance, all of that, but then once you “had me”, it’s like you backed up for a minute. What was that about?”
“I was scared,” he shrugged. “I met you, and you gave me this feeling like I’ve never experienced before. Prior to even knowing your name, something about you was magnetic. Then we had that little inbox conversation, and I saw who you were, and that feeling expanded. That’s the feeling that made me get on that plane. I was all caught up in doing the work to deserve you in my space that I wasn’t thinking about the other stuff. But once you were there... it all came back. Like I said though, your presence makes the story better.”
I let out a low moan. “Boy, you are going to mess around and I’m not going to let you leave here.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Noah.”
“Oh whatever,” I laughed, turning away from him, back to the fridge, which I opened. “You said you need to eat, right? I can put something together for us, but it’s going to be like... scrambled eggs and fruit. Or, we can go out, but that’s going to mean not eating for probably another hour.”
“Scrambled eggs and fruit is fine by me.”
I grabbed the stacked containers of fruit I’d cut for myself a day or two before, placing them on the counter. “Perfect. And I’ll even throw in a glass of my grapefruit juice.”
“Uhh... you can keep that,” Nick laughed, and I shot him a dirty look before I grabbed the basket of eggs to put down beside the stove. I was reaching for the butter when I felt him behind me, snaking his arms around my waist to pull me close. “I’d kiss you if I was sure my breath didn’t smell like the underside of a swamp.”
I giggled as he rested his chin on top of my head. “I’m quite sure I would have noticed that by now, but I have a whole box of toothbrushes under the sink in my bathroom. Shout out to Sam’s club.”
“Aiight, so... I’m gonna go handle that,” he said, smacking me on the ass as he left. I was glad my back was turned, so he wouldn’t see me grinning like crazy as I scrambled a few eggs for us, dropped a couple slices of bread in the toaster, and dished fruit onto two plates.
I could get used to mornings like this.
#
Admiring the result of someone’s work was one thing – seeing the process to create it was something else. Before he’d even booked his flight, Nick and I had worked out the details of this shoot – the hair and outfit choices that would pair with each scene, what order they’d be captured, all of that. So, I’d had a sneak peek of the kind of thought, and detail he put into his work, but that still hadn’t prepared me for seeing Nick... work.
There was a certain... sexiness to the way he set up his equipment – quickly, but skillfully, with obvious attention to detail as he brought out motorized tripods, lights, and all kinds of other things I couldn’t name.
He was good at giving direction – firm, but never harsh, and full of compliments I highly doubted he would offer at a normal set. Because of that, it felt like the scenes had flown by.
There was one where I came in, stopped at the door to take of my bra from under my shirt, then headed straight to my kitchen to open a bottle of wine. In another, I ripped open the packaging of a fresh print issue of Sugar&Spice with my teeth while I tapped out a text, then kicked off my shoes to head for the bathtub. Taking a pint of ice cream into my bedroom with me, painting my nails, drinking wine straight from the bottle while I fell asleep in front of the TV. We captured several different instances of how my night would go – all the “innocent” ways up front, to get them over.
Only one scene was left.
I inhaled a deep, relaxing breath, and just as I was letting it go, I heard Nick yell, “action!” from inside my apartment.
Time to go.
I pushed the door open and dropped my keys in the bowl on the table next to me. Kicking the door closed with the back of my foot, I pressed my back to the wall and closed my eyes, pushing out a breath before I locked it.
Heading for the kitchen, I stripped off my jacket, tossing it across the couch as I passed. I pulled out a bottle of wine at first, and then changed my mind, pulling out a bottle of Mauve instead, and taking a single shot. I closed my eyes as the liquor burned down my throat, then shook the feeling off. My journey to my room was punctuated with the removal of my clothes, which I left wherever they landed.
In my room, I lit my candles and turned my music on, then flipped my bedspread back to reveal crisp, cool sheets. I groaned at the feeling of them against my skin as I slid between them, only halfway covering myself, but it didn’t matter.
My hand was already between my legs.
I let my eyelids flutter closed, allowing the camera to be out of sight out of mind. Nick’s presence – his warmth, his scent, his whole aura – were impossible to ignore, so I didn’t try. Instead, I fantasized that my fingers were his as they danced over my slick flesh, exploring the landscape until I slowly pushed them into me. My other hand cupped around one of my breasts, massaging and squeezing and then pulling my nipple between my fingertips.
I lost myself in... myself. I’d devoted so much time to the exploration of my own body I knew exactly the right pressure on exactly the right spot for exactly the right duration to have me coming unglued in very little time. Once everything was done, less – much less – than a minute of this would make it into the film anyway, in half-second clips split between all the other mundane clips.
I was sure Nick had more than enough footage.
Once I finally came down from my orgasm, I opened my eyes and searched out Nick’s face in the semi-darkened room, wanting confirmation. I found him with his lips parted, camera held loosely in his hands, an expression of veneration on his face.
“Um... was that okay?” I asked, sitting up, and my question seemed to bring him back to the real world.
He scoffed. “Was that oka—Noah... that was... yes.”
I pulled myself from the bed to approach where he was standing. “So... that’s it, right?”
“Uh, yeah. And for the scene we just finished, you know I’ll go through in editing, make sure you’re not too exposed, make sure it’s tasteful, all that.”
I smiled. “I do. I trust you, and I trust your vision. I hope I delivered, that everything looks good. You’re not saying a lot, and it’s making me nervous.”
“Nervous about what?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “For all the other scenes, you kinda... coached me, and you had feedback after.”
“So... you want feedback?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
“Okay.”
There was maybe a half-second of time between Nick saying that, dropping the camera unceremoniously onto the bed, and hooking an arm around my still-nude body, hauling me against him. His mouth crashed onto mine – none of the soft, sweet kisses I’d grown accustomed to. This was a kiss meant to devour, as he lowered his hands to grip my ass.
And I was completely prepared to let him.
Resistance never even crossed my mind as he lowered me to the bed, without breaking our kiss. In fact, his mouth only left mine when he sat up to grab the hem of his shirt, intending to pull it off. But then something clicked in my mind, and I reached out to stop him.
“Wait... I have an idea.”
#
“You sure you’re sure about this?” Nick asked, adjusting the collar of his jacket as I followed him out the door of my apartment. We stopped there, and he turned to me, with that question still filling his eyes.
I nodded. “Yes. I mean... if it’s all about my “norm”, right? Well... ideally... you coming over is going to be part of my norm, so I think it’s a good idea to bring it all together. And think about the story, remember?” I asked, grinning at him as I fluffed out my hair, then smoothed a hand over the oversized sweater I’d thrown on. “When you make this a full movie about us, you’ve gotta get Trevante Rhodes and Teyonnah Parris, or two other sexy chocolates to portray us, and it’s going to be amazing.”
Nick laughed. “Where the hell did that even come from?”
“I don’t know. I’m a little nervous, so there’s no telling what I might say. But I think it’s going to look bad ass, so... I’m committed to it.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.”
He nodded. “Okay. Then... follow my lead.”
I squealed out loud as he flung the door open and pulled me in, shoving it closed behind us. A little gasp left my throat as he pushed me against the same wall I’d rested against earlier, licking me from my collarbone up to my ear. My mouth fell open, but I was too breathless to make a sound, too wrapped up in the feeling of Nick’s tongue on my neck as he nibbled and sucked his way back along the same trail.
He eased out of his jacket, letting it fall to the floor behind us before he drew me away from the wall. His arms circled me from behind, creating a pleasant cocoon of solid warmth as he dropped his mouth to my ear.
“So, Noah wants to make a porno,” he teased, making me laugh. The end result would be a little risqué, sure, but we both knew it wouldn’t be that.
Still, he teased me all the way into the kitchen, keeping his arms around me until we reached the counter. There, we both took a shot of Mauve, and then he swept me up to the counter, stepping between my legs.
When I introduced this idea, I’d worried that it would come across as contrived, and feel awkward. But with Nick, that wasn’t the case. Once his hands were on me, the pleasure that would follow was my only focus.
I hooked my thighs around his waist as his hands went to either side of my neck, using his thumbs to tip my chin, lining my mouth up with his. At first, he brushed lips with me, but then he pressed harder. I lifted my hands to drape over his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth to soak up any remnants of the liquor we’d consumed. To my left, the camera was on the motorized tripod, recording our every move with the help of a timer, but I didn’t care.
All I cared about was this kiss.
I tried my best to give as good as I got, but Nick had me outmatched. I was so distracted by his tongue in my mouth I barely noticed he’d gotten me out of my boots while I was sitting there on the counter, and I only knew my sweater was coming off because we had to stop kissing to get it over my head.
After that, we headed for the bedroom. Article by article, we stripped down, and by the time Nick pushed me onto the bed and lowered himself on top of me, neither of us had anything on. I groaned as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders again, enjoying the solid, pleasant weight of his body against mine. There was a second camera set up in here, and I ignored that one too as Nick sat up, taking his time to look me over.
“I’m not sure what I did to deserve this,” he said, running his fingertips over my stomach, over my breasts, and up to my face. “But I want you to know I’m grateful.”
I frowned. “Deserve what, Nick?”
“You.”
My response caught in my throat as he started kissing my neck again, working his way down to my breasts to suck and tease my nipples before he moved lower. His lips brushed over my ribs, down to my belly button, past the soft patch of hair growing in from my last wax, down to the apex of my thighs. He spread my legs apart and licked me – first with the broad flat of his tongue and then the tip, making me arch away from the bed. His arms hooked around my thighs, keeping me in place as he pushed his face between my legs, nose pressed against my clit as his tongue dipped into me.
With his mouth covering my clit, he slurped hard, creating a simultaneous suck and vibration sensation that almost made me come right there. But then he pulled back, teasing me with light flicks of his tongue that had my thighs jerking as I buried my fingers in his hair, gripping to keep him in place. The vibration of his chuckles made me groan – a sound that quickly transformed to a cry of pleasure as he did that slurp thing again, pushing his fingers into me at the same time.
My little fantasy earlier paled in comparison to the reality of Nick’s fingers.
Immediately, he landed on exactly the right button to push, and I let out a long stream of purrs, yells, moans, whimpers and groans as his fingers and tongue pushed me headfirst into bliss. I collapsed onto the bed, liquified and completely satisfied as Nick wiped his face with the back of his hand, then reached into the drawer beside my bed for a condom.
A moment later, we were both letting out gratified moans as he sank into me. I hooked my legs around his, dug my nails into his shoulders as he began to stroke. He lowered his mouth and kissed me, matching the rhythm of his strokes to the rhythm of his tongue – dual stimulation that had pressure building in my core, from both ends.
He didn’t keep that up for long though.
Little by little, he built up power, built up depth, built up speed, until my cries of pleasure devolved into nonsensical ramblings punctuated with please, please, don’t stop.
And he didn’t.
He drove into me over, and over, sitting back to hook my legs over his shoulders and bury himself deeper, faster, harder, until my feet were up by my ears, and I was coming completely unraveled as I came... and came... and came.
After a few moments, Nick collapsed on the bed beside me, completely spent. Gradually, I noticed his breathing didn’t seem to be leveling out in the way mine had, and I sat up, alarmed.
“Nick! Are you okay?!”
I could tell it took him some effort to swallow, and then nod. “Yeah, gorgeous,” he said, sounding more like he’d ran a marathon than a man who’d been laying down for several minutes.
“You’re not,” I insisted, getting up to bring the lights back up from their dimmed state. If I wasn’t so worried about him, it would have been a perfect time to stop and admire the gorgeous specimen of his body – even if it seemed to be somewhat failing him right now. “Tell me what I need to do.”
“Relax.” He motioned for me to come back to the bed, and I did, gingerly climbing up beside him. As soon as I was close enough, he grabbed me, pulling me down to rest against his chest. “This is what I need you to do. To not freak out.”
I draped an arm around him. “That would be easier if I knew what was happening.”
Above me, Nick sighed. “Okay. So this time was a little more vigorous than last night. I got a little more lightheaded than usual, because I came a little harder than usual, and sometimes, with my condition... it takes the blood a little longer to come back to the rest of my body, after it all raced down to my dick for the party.”
My eyes got big. “Oh my God!” I exclaimed, remembering all the craziness I’d found on Google. My gaze drifted down to where he was still sheathed in the condom, still hard enough to hit a home run with, and I started to sit up.
Nick’s arm went around me, immediately pulling me back down. “There is nothing to be alarmed about, Noah. I need you to trust that. If there was, I would tell you, okay?”
“But google said—”
“Fuck Google, seriously,” Nick laughed. “Don’t let worst-case-scenario ruin your high, damn. Am I gonna have to make you come again, to calm your ass down?”
I giggled. “I don’t think I can.”
“Is that a challenge?”
I tipped my head up, meeting his eyes with a grin. “Maybe in a few hours. First... I have to make sure your dick goes down.”