ROBBY’S ARMS AND LEGS curled around me in his bed with a grip that was almost painful as he held on tight enough to nearly crush me. His eyelashes laid on his cheeks like a fan of black against the paleness he still carried from our ordeal. His dark hair had dried in matted clumps along with random spikes from nuzzling into the pillow.

Still, he was beautiful to behold, bed head and all, even with his drop in weight from six months of eating just rats provided to him whenever Cassius had thought of it. It had been just enough food to sustain life, but nowhere near what Robby needed to remain healthy. His huge alpha werewolf form had thinned enough to make him look like a prisoner of war.

I traced the lines of his jaw gently, marveling that he was still alive. By all rights, he shouldn’t have survived. He should have died in my arms, and my heart ached with the pain of my participation in his suffering. I had been watching him sleep because whenever my eyes closed, the bad dreams came alive, and I couldn’t deal with my trauma right now. I needed to focus on Robby, on getting him back to health both physically and mentally.

He was deep enough in sleep not to stir at my touch, and his breathing remained steady. He hadn’t been willing to talk to me about what happened beyond what I remembered. Even though only a couple of days had passed since our escape, I still had to keep reminding him that this was real. Much like when I woke from my own nightmares and my heart plummeted for a moment, thinking I was still tied to that goddamned bed.

Both of us needed reminders that we were at Robby’s place and not still locked away in Cassius’s house.

Cassius Chase fractured Robby’s mind, just like he threatened. But he was never able to erase the warmth of Robby’s mark tingling in my shoulder. He hadn’t been able to wipe away the pull in my heart whenever I was near my mate. If he had, neither of us would be here, safely tucked in his bed.

I sighed, and Robby’s eyes fluttered open. His gaze landed on my face and his pupils dilated even before he smiled. Every now and then, I’d get a glimpse of the old Robby, like right now, but then it would pass, and my heart would drop as if I had taken a step off the balcony of the Empire State Building.

His post-traumatic stress disorder presented in flinches whenever I came near his throat. But his grip on me most of the time belied his skittishness, as if his heart knew more than his mind.

But for now, my Robby smiled at me from inches away. His gaze made me feel like another wonder of the world, and it warmed me from my core all the way to my fingers and toes. My mark tingled in response.

The side of his throat that I had cried on when we arrived home healed completely. That was also the side I tore into when Cassius made me drink his blood. But Robby’s whispering of my name stopped me every single time, sparking raw fury from the vampire who wanted to control me. However, Robby’s wrists and the opposite side of his neck were still burnt from the silver collar and shackles. Although, this morning, they didn’t look as angry as they had yesterday.

“Hey,” Robby said with his rough morning voice. He stretched, uncurling his legs from around me.

“Hey.” I smiled, still cuddling in the crook of his arm.

His gaze landed on his visible wrist and all that lightness surrounding him evaporated. That haunted look slid back into his eyes, and he dropped his hand onto the bed and stared at his ceiling. “It wasn’t just a nightmare.”

“I wish it had been just a nightmare.” Neither of us could shake the effects of what happened to us for long. It sucked.

Robby moved his gaze to me. He studied my face while his finger lightly traced my lips. “I craved your bite,” he said. “Sometimes I think I still do.”

Every time he revealed a piece of his pain, it squeezed my chest, like a noose tightening around me. I pulled myself on top of him and kissed him hard. “I will never puncture your skin with my teeth again,” I whispered against his lips. “I would rather starve to death.”

His hands landed on my bare hips, and he caressed my lower back and ass, squeezing my butt cheeks as he sighed under my lips.

That sigh always preceded him pulling away, and this time was no different. He rolled me off him and sat up on the side of the bed with his back to me like I was a one-night stand and not his true mate.

“Robby,” I whispered as another layer of fear wrapped around my soul. What if he never came back to me?

His shoulders rounded and he hung his head before glancing back at me. “He made me kill you.”

I reached out and ran my fingers across his back gently. Cassius had made Robby kill me once. I had woken and just screamed and struggled against the bindings, calling Cassius a dirty demon. I guess I held onto most of my promises that I had made to that bastard. In an effort to smash Robby’s hold on my heart, Cassius called him in and ordered him to choke me until my face was blue and my neck crushed. The bastard thought that would be enough to psychologically fuck with me so I would drain Robby dry the next time I sank my teeth into his throat, whether he spoke or not.

Robby had sobbed as he strangled me to death. He pleaded and begged for Cassius to stop. I had never seen him so desperate, but his hands just kept squeezing, no matter how hard I bucked against my bindings.

“He fucking fondled you while I choked you to death.” He stared at his trembling hands. He met my gaze. “I couldn’t stop. Not even after you died. My hands kept squeezing even after your spine shattered.” He wiped his hands on the sheet, trying to absolve himself of that horror.

“He compelled you to do it.”

“He also compelled me to be silent while you fed.” His gaze slid to mine. “I was able to break that every time. So why couldn’t I do the same then?”

I didn’t have an answer for him, and his pain echoed in my shoulder like a deep wound that would never heal. “He coerced me to nearly kill you so many times.” I reached for him, and he knocked my hand away with a flare of anger.

“You stopped. Every fucking time. I couldn’t.”

I sat up. I didn’t know what he needed but my heart ached for him. “I forgive you.”

“Well, I don’t fucking forgive myself. I couldn’t do a goddamn thing when he was hurting you. I still hear your screams when I close my eyes. And I was helpless. Fucking helpless when he killed you over and over again. Just as fucking helpless as I was when he ordered me to choke you to death.”

I took a slow breath. There was something I could do, but I wasn’t just going to steal his memories without his consent. I had been there, and it nearly doomed both of us. “Do you want me to make you forget what happened?”

His angry features transitioned to abject horror, as if I had suggested an even more hideous thing than anything Cassius had done to us. “Why the fuck would you even suggest that?” He stood and stepped away from the bed as though I might spontaneously combust and blow us both up.

“Because I hate seeing you hurting like this, and I don’t know what to do.” Tears sprang, blurring my vision, and I swallowed hard, forcing the lump that had formed in my throat down into my roiling belly.

He raked his hand through his hair and then splayed his hands out at me. “I just...I just need time to deal with this.”

My breath locked in my chest, and I couldn’t pull air in for a moment. This was where he was going to reject me. Still, I forced out the words I dreaded an answer to. “Do you want me to go?”

His eyebrows shot up into arches of surprise. “No. That’s the last thing I want.” The strain in his voice lessened with those words, and my tight chest eased.

“Then what can I do to help?” I needed to have a plan. A way to mitigate this helplessness accosting me.

He ran his hand down his face as his eyes darted around the room at the shadows before they finally settled on me again. “Be...patient.” He leaned on the edge of the bed and gave me a soft kiss. “It may be awhile before I can get my shit together.”

I nodded. “I can be patient.” I lied. I didn’t have a patient bone in my body.

He smirked and that glimpse of the old Robby flashed across his face. “Liar. You’ve never been patient a day in your life.” He turned and headed into the bathroom, giving me a full view of his backside.

His ass was still perfect, even with the drop in weight.

The shower turned on, and I crawled out from under the covers. I made the bed nice and neat like it had been before we messed it up with our fitful sleep, and then headed into the shower.

Robby stood under the water with his eyes closed, letting it cascade over him as his chin nearly touched his chest. Standing there, he looked fully defeated, which sparked irrational anger within me.

This was what Cassius had hoped for. That he would carve a chasm between us that was too deep to overcome. Well, I was damned if I was going to allow that.

I stepped into the shower, and he stiffened and glanced up at me.

“Cassius can’t win.” I stared at him and stepped closer; he backed up a step. “You have to promise me you will not let him win.”

Robby blinked, as if all the synapses in his brain were misfiring. His hands trembled at his sides, and he held the panic of being cornered in his eyes.

“You are a bloody alpha wolf. Don’t ever fucking forget that.” I poked his chest. “And I’m your goddamn mate.” I leveled a glare at him. “And there will never be any secrets between us. Ever.”

He scoffed at me and looked away. I reacted, stepping close as my hands ignited with the frustration scraping my skin. Steam hissed around us. I shook my fire out and reached for him. He flinched and then grabbed my hand, yanking me to him. He claimed my mouth in a rough kiss and then spun me around, so I was pressed face-first against the wall, with him pressing his entire form against my back.

“There are some things that are better left in the dark,” he whispered in my ear and then nipped my neck as his hands truly began to wander for the first time since we got back to his apartment. This wasn’t the frantic touching to make sure I was real. This was Robby exploring my skin with his hands.

“No secrets,” I stressed.

His exploration abruptly halted, and his head came to rest on mine. “There are worse things than killing your mate with your bare hands.”

His tone chilled me, despite the steamy shower. I turned to face him. “What did that bastard do?” Everything Cassius had threatened ran through my mind, and my stomach knotted.

Robby shook his head slowly and ran his knuckles over my cheek. His gaze laid bare the horror he experienced, and I swallowed hard.

“He didn’t just mind-fuck me.” He glanced away. “He made me...” He pressed his lips together and shuddered. “Fuck your dead corpse,” he finished and slashed his gaze back to me. “I can’t shake that shit.”

My stomach slowly turned, and I put my hand over my mouth, unsure whether it was from the gruesome image he painted in my head, or the raw disgust of what Cassius did. Either way, I was glad that bastard met such a violent end.

“The next time I was dragged into that room, I was sure you’d kill me. I almost didn’t fight it either. But I did manage to say your name, and that was all it took for you to refuse to finish me off. His grand plan failed again.” His lips tilted into a ghastly smile.

I remembered Robby’s look of disbelief when I pulled away from his throat. I hadn’t understood it then, but I certainly did when my mother gave me my memories back. That was one of my quicker deaths. “Cassius snapped my neck that time.”

Robby nodded. “Yes.” He shivered and seemed to shrink in on himself. “And then he beat your dead body before turning his fists on me.”

I couldn’t let him close the world out. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around him in a hug.

He hesitated and then slowly wrapped his arms around me.

“I will be patient as long as you don’t shut me out.”

Robby kissed the top of my head. “I’ll try my best not to.”