EPILOGUE

YOU NEVER KNOW WHOM YOU MIGHT INSPIRE

ONE OF MY favorite parts of interviewing people for this book was hearing the stories of who had inspired each of them to start their movements in the first place. Nearly all the petition starters I talked to told me that they were hugely affected by others who had started similar campaigns or taken different kinds of social action. The idea that someone else was working to make change happen helped them see that it was possible for them to try it, too. Surprisingly, most of them had never told the other person that he or she was a crucial source of inspiration. We may never know the things we say or do that inspire other people, but we should be aware that our actions may have a small, sometimes profound, impact on others. And that’s a powerful thing.

TARYN BRUMFITT, AN Australian mother of three, had a personal epiphany after struggling with her own negative body image for many years. She had considered plastic surgery and rejected it because she thought it would set the wrong example for her daughter. She then tried rigorous diet and exercise, training and successfully becoming an elite bodybuilder, but she told me, “The lifestyle that I lived to have that perfect body felt very restrictive, and it wasn’t really very joyful.” Taryn realized she was actually happier in her original body, one she now respected and loved more and treated with balance.

Taryn Brumfitt's before and after images

ANDRE AGNEW (LEFT), KATE ELLIS (RIGHT)

So she did something unexpected—she posted a “before and after” photo, with her chiseled bodybuilding body as the “before” image and her rounder, more balanced, joyful body as the “after” image.

Taryn didn’t post the photo with the goal of inspiring others—she did it as part of her own journey of finding a way to love her body. And she had no idea just how many people that one image would inspire. It has now been viewed more than 100 million times, and more than 7,000 people reached out directly to Taryn through e-mail and social media to let her know just how inspirational she was to them. Her courage in posting that photo inspired tens of millions of people, led to her writing a book and producing a documentary, both called Embrace, and launching The Body Image Movement globally.

AMANDA NGUYEN, THE amazing young woman fighting for sexual assault survivors, shared a story with me about a surprising source of inspiration. After a particularly hard day lobbying in the Massachusetts State House, she went home and cried, feeling defeated and uncertain that she’d be able to convince career politicians to care about a cause they might not be personally familiar with. But the next day, when she took an Uber back to the U.S. Senate for another day of lobbying, her driver asked her why was going there. Amanda said, “I told him, and then this complete stranger started crying. His tears welled up from his eyes and he said, ‘My daughter is a rape survivor, and when she tried to get help the system was so broken.’ When he stopped the car he asked if he could shake my hand and thanked me for fighting for his daughter. Then he said, ‘Has anyone told you that they love you today? I love you.’ And I will never forget that father. One thing I’ve learned from this experience is that we might feel isolated when we’re doing this work but it has ripple effects that are so powerful and so meaningful. And it’s meaningful to people that you may not even know or think it impacts.” Amanda had inspired this Uber driver, knowing that someone out there was fighting for his daughter. And in turn, he had inspired her. Simple words of appreciation meant so much to her, especially on that hard day.

SARA WOLFF, THE disability rights activist and motivational speaker with Down syndrome, was inspired by the people she met in the course of her duties supporting the ABLE Act. Talking to people and hearing their stories was the part of her role she found most meaningful and that kept her motivated to continue fighting for the rights of the disabled. “People inspire people because everybody can learn from each other,” she told me. “I didn’t know I was an advocate until high school when I learned that if I could stand up for myself, I knew I could do it for other people. I love it. Learning so much from people, hearing their stories about themselves, about their friends, their families, how they feel, is an amazing feeling.”

Perhaps even more remarkable is how much Sara Wolff’s activism inspired countless others in the disabled community and beyond. As National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) president Sara Weir told me: “Sara Wolff is just nothing short of incredible. As she evolved and became the face of this legislation over the last decade, her ability to advocate and tell her personal story was something remarkable to watch. She grew as an advocate and as a person, by going through this journey. But probably something that most people didn’t see is Sara’s ability to set the bar high for that Mom or that Dad that had a baby born yesterday, or has a baby born tomorrow, with Down syndrome. They see Sara, and they see what she’s been able to do. Testifying before the U.S. Senate finance committee, a person with Down syndrome—that doesn’t happen every day. She set the bar really high. And she did it by just being who she is. She made people in the community with disabilities understand that the future is bright for people with Down syndrome. And they can achieve their own hopes, dreams, and passions.”

WHEN I ASKED the people I interviewed who inspired them, I got answers as wide ranging as “my mom,” to specific former colleagues and teachers, to “the punk band members I used to play with.” Each movement starter could instantly name the people who had done small and large things to inspire them, yet only a few had told the source of their inspiration about the impact that person had made. Whether or not they had acknowledged the people who inspired them, each one has a crystal clear image of what made a difference—actions and words that showed them they could tackle huge problems and create the movements they went on to build.

While we certainly won’t know all of the ways our actions affect others, we’ve seen that even the smallest gestures, like leaving a short comment—a “reason for signing”—on someone’s petition can be a huge source of inspiration. Little things we say or write to people can do that, too. I can remember the positive, confidence-boosting impact of one professor who suggested I try to publish my final paper in an academic journal, and the corporate leader who took a chance on me and gave me a role that would be a stretch. And I have had the joy and surprise of being told by former students how my belief in them was a catalyst for their future success, and by people I’ve worked with that particular conversations we’d had in which I made a suggestion or gave some advice altered the shape of their career. We truly never know the effect we can have on other people.

When we shine a light on this, I hope it can push us toward doing two things:

Think more about the impact we have on others. Work to be kind and encouraging, to push people to new heights, both in big and small interactions. We never know whom our words and actions might inspire.
Reach out to those who have inspired us to let them know they did. Not only will it make our relationships stronger, but think about how much more positive the world would be if we reinforced inspirational behavior by letting people know it worked—it just might cause people to do more of it.

Knowing whether we’ve had an impact on others is not the point. Living a life in pursuit of positive impact is what matters: a life of purpose, a life of service, and a life driven by hope. We’ve seen the power that can come from those who step up to start movements and from the large numbers of people who support them—new, purpose-driven companies, new ideas and approaches within staid organizations, and new policies and laws that create a better world for all of us.

Now it’s your turn.