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NOT GOING TO LIE. I just choked on my breath. Maverick slaps my back until I push his arm away. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me.”
“I don’t want a pity fuck, but thanks all the same.” I keep thinking I can’t humiliate myself more with this guy than I already have, but I keep finding new and wonderful ways.
“You need to pay more attention if you think I’m not attracted to you. This isn’t a pity fuck. This is a two friends are horny fuck.”
Right. He’s so attracted to me. Whatever. “We can’t. What if it ruins our friendship?”
“Do you have no faith in me at all?”
Now would be an awesome time to pull the quilt over my head and just die of embarrassment. “Of course I do. You’re a good man. The best man. But this is a lot to ask. Too much.”
His big frame shifts, reminding me of all those glorious muscles. “I’m an alpha. Asking me to have sex is not even on the radar of a lot to ask.”
God, he smells so good. I have to shake my head to focus. “I don’t want to change us. I’m not looking for a boyfriend or a baby daddy.”
“Friends with benefits. I get it.”
Can we really do this? No. No way. There is no way I can let him see me naked. It’s hard for me to look at myself naked. “I’m a cow right now. There’s no way you’ll get it up.”
“We can put money down, but you’ll lose. I promise.”
I think back to the grouch I met in the hall a month ago. He’s not exactly the kind of person who lies to make someone feel good. He’s more like Dr. House than Mister Rogers. Dr. House inhabiting He-Man’s body. I’m getting off track because now I’m thinking about a very strange ménage situation with He-Man and Dr. House and myself and it’s not helping with the hormones.
There is a long pause, the space between us this invisible forcefield. Heat surrounds us like a thick, syrupy steam. Who will break through it first? I want it to be him. I want him to say or do something irrevocable so that if this doesn’t work, it won’t be because I misread something. “How much money are we betting?”
He swallows hard. I try not to get mesmerized by the Adam’s apple and fail.
Focus, Simon.
“I mean, if I’m making a bet with you that you won’t be able to get it up for me, I should know how much money I can add to Bloomer’s college fund.”
“I will more than get it up for you. I’m always hard around you.”
My eyes widen. And then I don’t know who starts speaking out of my mouth, but somehow I say, “Prove it.”
His eyes blaze warm fire, and he growls before reining it back in. “Before you break into your piggy bank to pay me when you lose, you should have all the facts.” He reaches down and unzips, pulling out his dick for presentation.
Oh. My. God.
He’s gripping it in his huge hands, and it’s this enormous stalk sticking straight up, his balls and pubic hair still nestled in the opening of his jeans. Liquid beads at the top of his cock, and my ass clenches hard around the ache that I should be used to by now. I’m hearing fewer arguments in my head and feeling more zapping in my underwear.
One big hand strokes up and down, spreading the sticky wetness until the whole shaft glistens. I have to squeeze my thighs together as heat pulses between my legs and my eyes lock on his huge, hard cock. My preggo nipples tighten unbearably into aching hard little points.
“Take your clothes off, Simon. I can guaranfuckingtee I’ll stay hard.”
Not once have I ever tried to be enticing to this man. He sees me in my most comfortable clothes, in my sorriest of mood swings. And right now, he could still hang a flag, a good-sized one, from his dick because he’s hard for me. But my body doesn’t look like me anymore, and I’m so nervous. So shy all of the sudden.
But I am also salivating at the sight of his cock.
Mother Nature is such a bitch.
This is crazy. But it’s not like we can go back from here. He’s got his cock out. We either move forward or we don’t, but we can’t go back to five minutes ago. He stands up and rips his shirt off and throws it to the floor, raising an eyebrow for me to do the same.
I’m stunned by his chest. He’s not model perfect. Not at all. The physique is flawless, but his skin declares the years of using his body to fend off things most of us never think about. I know the stories for some of the scars. The knife from the night in the alley when he was a rookie. The burns. The tattoo is from a drunken escape from reality after he and Ricky responded to a shooting at a school. Maverick has got a lifetime written on his skin, and I know I do too now.
Silvery lines that show where I’ve grown.
God. Can I do this?
I pull off my shirt, aware that my boy-nips are bigger and puffier now, due to pregnancy. Maybe they will distract him from my huge protruding stomach.
“You’re even better than I imagined.”
Well, okay. That’s a pretty good start.
He leans over me, bracketing me between his beefy arms and the back of the couch. “Be sure, Simon. Be very sure this is what you want. I won’t miss the target like the other guy.”
My breath catches at the reminder of my first failed attempt at sex and I look away, unable to let him see that far into my head. Maybe this is a bad idea.
“Hey.” He cups my jaw gently in that big hand and brings my gaze back to his smoldering one. “We don’t have to do this. But if we do, I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure you get what you need. Do you trust me?”
It’s in his eyes that I find my own courage. He’s so strong, so protective. The power ripples off him and surrounds me, and I know I can just let go. Let him take control. Since I met him, he’s allowed me precious pockets of time where I don’t have to always be on guard and responsible. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. “I trust you.”
“I’m going to make this so good for you.”
He steals my breath with a searing kiss. Surprise and delight bubble up in my throat and come out in a needy whimper as I arch toward him. His lips brand me, hot and possessive, as they slide against mine insistently. His hands move down my body, tracing liquid fire under my skin, and he turns us so my back is against the armrest and he’s on top of me. He’s careful, maneuvering around my bump effortlessly, but when he glides against my chest and we’re skin to skin, he growls, sliding his tongue against the seam of my mouth until I open to him.
The kiss is unlike anything I’ve ever known before, transporting me to a new world. It’s like waking up in Oz. My body comes alive, every nerve ending zapping, every inch of me trying to get closer to him. He’s hot and hard everywhere, crushing against me, yet protective like he cherishes me as much as he wants to ravish me. I’m trapped in the cage of his body, yet I’ve never felt more free. He feeds me his tongue, and I draw him in as much as I can, my heart pounding restlessly as my blood rushes hot under my skin. He’s demanding my total surrender to him, and he has it. I want him to take every part of me. I want to take every part of him. His lips move down my jaw, my neck, and when his hot, wet mouth opens on my nipple, my nails dig into his back.
“Your fucking nips,” he groans into my chest.
Yeah, my fucking nips are sensitive and ready for more. A flare of self-consciousness makes the backs of my eyes prickle. I so want to be exactly what he wants and needs. I don’t want to be some kind of consolation.
“You aren’t too sensitive here, are you?” He tongues my nipple, and I shake my head.
“No. It feels good. What you’re doing.”
“That’s good news because I’ve been dreaming about this for a while.”
“You have?” Was that needy sounding? I don’t want to sound too needy.
“Baby, you’re gorgeous.”
“I’m a cow.”
“You’re kidding me, right? You’re perfect. I’ve fucking jacked off a thousand times while wishing I knew the exact shade these nipples were. You’re better than any fantasy I promise.”
His cock is half out of his pants and the hard length of him rubs against my leg. I lean back and let my eyes drift closed while he sucks greedily at my skin. My pulse is beating deep in my balls, and I’m wetter with omega slick than I’ve ever been.
He stands up, rising slowly and with such masculine grace, my cock hardens even more. He’s staring at me, and I resist the urge to cover up. He hooks his hands into the waistband of his jeans and pauses. “Are you still sure about this?”
“I’mabsolutelysure,” I ramble, hoping he isn’t about to take that straining package in his pants away from me.
He chuckles and lowers his pants and boxers all the way down, revealing himself to me entirely as his big cock springs up, finally free. I gasp. It’s enormous, so swollen and thick. “This is how hard you make me. Do you like it?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Oh God, I want it so bad.”
A rumble shakes out of his chest. “I’m going to give you every inch of it tonight. More than once. You want to help me with that?”
Is he kidding me with this? My whole world just became that giant dick. “I will do absolutely anything you want, Maverick. Tell me and it’s yours.”
He freezes, his jaw constricting and his whole body tightens. “Fuck, you don’t even know what you’re doing to me with that kind of talk.”
“I have a pretty good idea. And that’s what I want.” I raise up on my elbows, licking my lips at that giant dick. “I’m going to be real with you, the way I always have been, even when it’s TMI. Maverick Smith, I want you to make me your plaything. I’m so horny. I want to know what everything feels like. All of it. Teach me everything. How you taste—”
He crashes over me and kisses me fiercely. “I’m going to come all over myself if you keep talking like that.” He buries his face in my neck. “Don’t stop.”
I feel so light when the laugh bubbles out of me. “Please do wicked, dirty things to me.”
He raises his head up, looking me right in the eye. “How dirty, Simon?”
“I...” Shit.
“What’s wrong?”
Everything in my body tightens, and I lose focus.
“What’s wrong, Simon? Is it the baby?
I pant a few times, and then my mind clears again. “Braxton-Hicks. That one was a doozy though. I’m so sorry.”
“How long have you been having them?”
“Off and on all day.”
“All day?” He flies off the couch and starts getting dressed.
“It’s too early for labor. It’s fine, Maverick. I’m just mortally embarrassed—fuck!” The pain seizes me, squeezing me from the inside out.
“We’re going to the hospital.”
He helps me sit up and hands me my shirt. I want to argue, but then someone jabs my spine with a lightning bolt. And my water breaks. And fuck, I’m still a virgin.
––––––––
I PUT ON COP FACE BECAUSE if I don’t, I will dissolve into a panic that will not be useful to Simon or the baby currently on its way out.
These are not Braxton-Hicks contractions. I trust my gut when my gut says trouble, and we are in serious shit right now. Yes, I read the fuck out of every pregnancy book I could find, and I trained on emergency delivery, but this is scarier than a fucking bomb for damn sure. It shouldn’t be happening this fast. All my spidey senses are overloading my network of logical thought processes.
Get it together, Smith.
I dial 911. The rest starts blurring moment to moment, like I’m swimming underwater but somehow managing all the right things. Baby’s not waiting. Better make a birthing nest. I tear the shower curtain down and cover Simon’s bed, piling blankets on top. I don’t think I even have time to boil water.
“C’mon, daddy. Let’s get you on the bed.”
“I have a bag packed for the hospital. Maybe we can get a cab and stop for a ginger ale? For some reason, I really want a ginger ale.”
Great, he’s in denial.
“Let’s just stay here for now and wait. The ambulance is on the way. I’ll get you a ginger ale from the hospital cafeteria.” I put my arms around his shoulders and lead him into the bedroom.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t finish the job. Once again.”
The job? Oh shit, I think he’s talking about sex. It’s the last thing on my mind. “All I care about right now is you and Bloomer.”
I leave the apartment door open for the paramedics, and get Simon settled on the bed when he starts to panic. A little late, but not unexpected. “Wait. No. I can’t do this now. Here. We have to go. I can’t have my baby in this apartment.”
“We don’t have time to go, Simon. All you need to worry about right now is breathing. I’ll do the rest.”
“No. No. No.” He screws up his face in pain. “No! Not now. Why is this happening so fast? I’m supposed to be at the hospital.”
I don’t know why this is happening so fast, but something isn’t right. I’m scared as fuck. The last time someone’s life depended on me, I let him down.
I know better than to go there now. I push thoughts of the last call out of my head and focus. Simon needs me. His baby needs me. Whatever is going on isn’t going to pause so I can have a mental breakdown. I have to focus.
Most omegas give birth via C-section these days. It’s much safer. But I can’t operate on him, and that baby is not waiting.
When the paramedics come in the door, Little Bloomer is already crowning. One uniform tries to take my place, but I shake my head, my focus solely on the baby. I don’t trust anyone else. It’s too important. The woman crouches on the floor next to me and the other EMT supports Simon’s back.
“He should push now,” the woman next to me says.
I nod. Simon is too pale. “I need you to push, honey. Can you do that?”
“I’m scared, Maverick.”
I lock eyes with him. “You’re doing great. You’re going to be such a great dad. I promise. I’m right here.”
“You make everything easier, Maverick.”
He fucking detonates my heart.
And then he screams, and the pushing begins. In between pushes, Simon won’t look at anything but me. I want to take all this pain into myself, free him of it. I couldn’t stand it when he cried about his ankles, so this screaming in pain is killing me.
“Get it out of me, Maverick!”
“We’re working on it, handsome. Let’s do the breathing again.”
“Fuck you.”
The EMTs know better than to laugh, but I have a hard time keeping it in. I guess if he’s swearing at me, he’s still himself. He screams again, giving it his all, and I catch Little Bloomer sliding out.
Holy fuck. I just caught a baby.
The baby looks at me with these eyes too wise for someone brand new into this world, my heart explodes again.
Words. There should be words for what I’m feeling. The way the whole planet just started turning the other way. I don’t have words. I choke on what might be tears balling up in my throat.
“It’s a girl, Simon.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s perfect.”
We clean up the baby and put her onto Simon’s chest. We still need to get to the hospital, and that’s a process with the stairs and the stretcher and the ambulance. I ride near his head and he looks up at me. “I want to call her Kenzie. MacKenzie Bloom. Kenzie.”
I kiss his temple and the adrenaline rush I’ve been on starts to dissolve, leaving me shaky. “I like that,” I choke out, hoping my voice just sounds manly and not obvious that I’m trying not to cry.
“Thank you for bringing her here safely, Maverick.”
“You did all the hard work, babe.”
He smiles and closes his eyes for a little hard-earned rest.
The machine screams, and I look on the floor for a loose cord. We must have hit a bump. The EMT thrusts the baby at me. “Sir, you need to scoot back. Your husband is in cardiac arrest.
––––––––
THE HELL WITH THE WORLD spinning the opposite way. Now it’s upside down.
Simon won’t wake up.
He came out of emergency surgery three hours ago. I’ve been pacing the halls since we got here. I can’t fix this. I can’t show up in my gear and defuse anything. I can’t take down a bad guy. Nothing I know how to do applies now.
I don’t know how to be a man who paces a hall.
“Detective Smith?”
I turn, my heart stops while I wait for the nurse in scrubs to fill me in about Simon. “Your daughter is ready for a feeding. Would you like to feed her?”
“I—”
Compassion and patience soften the nurse’s face. “There’s nothing you can do for your husband but wait. Your daughter can benefit from bonding with her other daddy, though. And I think your husband would want you to take care of her while he can’t.”
My husband. My daughter. Daddy.
The paramedics just assumed we were married. It didn’t occur to me to correct them while they were trying to stabilize Simon’s heart. Then, it made things easier in the hospital. I’ll probably get in trouble for lying, but nobody would have kept “the neighbor” in the loop about Simon’s surgery. So, I’m now a husband and father.
Pacing isn’t helping, and the nurse is right. “Yeah, okay. I’ll feed Kenzie.” I take two steps then stop. “I don’t know how.”
“I’ll help you.” She brings me to a nursery and sets me up in a rocking chair before she hands me the baby swaddled up tight in a pink blanket.
“Is her blanket too tight?”
“Most babies love it. It’s reassuring to them. They’re used to not having much room.”
That makes sense.
The nurse shows me how to hold the bottle and promises to come back to show me how to burp the baby when she’s through. As long as her neck is supported, I guess I’m doing all right. The nurse walks away and leaves me almost alone with a baby for the first time ever. Am I supposed to talk to her? Sing? I don’t know what is going on.
Kenzie seems to have a better handle on things. She’s drinking from the bottle and watching me. I read everything about pregnancy I could find in the last month. It never occurred to me to read about how to take care of a baby once it’s born. I guess I assumed I wouldn’t have much to do with that.
“Hey, Kenzie. Um, your dad is sleeping. When he wakes up, he’s really going to want to meet you, though.” Kenzie blinks. “You’re really going to like your dad. He’s great. So funny. And he’s good at taking care of stuff. You won’t believe all the houseplants in your apartment. He talks to them. Well, you’ve heard him.” I swallow around that damn ball in my throat. I’m not a dude who cries. “We haven’t really met. I mean, I was the guy that caught you—nice form by the way, you nailed the dismount. I help your dad sometimes. I bet you’ve heard my voice, right? I’ve been hanging out a lot lately. Your dad and I are friends. Don’t tell anyone that though, okay? While we’re here, we have to pretend I’m your dad. I’ll explain later.’
Her little eyelids get heavy. Either I’m boring as shit, or she likes the sound of my voice.
“So, the thing is, if you need anything, you’re going to always just tell me. Okay? I mean, when you can talk. Until then, I’ll just have to guess. But when you’re older, if you have questions about stuff or want to learn how to make a three-point shot, you just call me.”
The nurse comes back and shows me the proper burping procedure. Kenzie lets a good one go. “Just like your dad,” I tell her and the nurse laughs. She leaves us again, and I just rock, not sure what else to do. Kenzie sniffles as she’s falling asleep. I’ll remember this moment forever. The sound of her tiny breaths, the sweet smell of her head, the slight weight of her resting on my chest.
I feel a kind of peace I’m not used to, and in that peace, the thoughts I’ve been keeping out of my head finally break through. What happens if Simon doesn’t wake up?
He has to. He just has to. Now that my heart has inflated to full size, it would kill me if it shattered. I can’t lose him. I certainly can’t pretend to be Kenzie’s dad, but fuck anyone who tries to put her in foster care. And fuck the asshole who wrote a check to keep this tiny baby out of his life. She’s a fucking miracle.
Please, don’t let her lose her dad before she gets him.