DR. WILDER WAS going on and on and Adeline tried very hard to focus on what she was saying, but the more she focused, the more she felt like she was going to be sick all over the conference room table.
She was hot and sweaty and had barely slept for the nausea and indigestion that had plagued her all night for the last couple of nights.
“Dr. Turner,” Dr. Wilder said, breaking through Adeline’s cloud of thoughts.
“Yes.” Adeline sat up straight, fighting another wave of nausea.
“Mrs. Bryant’s baby’s lung maturity and gestational age are far enough along to safely deliver. Today we’re going to deliver it. I need you to prep her for surgery and let her know the risks given her TTP diagnosis.”
Adeline nodded. “Yes, Dr. Wilder.”
“I’ll be in the operating room, but this is your patient. You’re the lead surgeon on this C-section and possible hysterectomy. Dr. Garcia will assist and then take the lead on the baby’s welfare once the baby is delivered.”
“Thank you, Dr. Wilder,” Elias said, glancing at Adeline with concern.
Although she really didn’t need his pity.
For the last month the two of them had been working on Mrs. Bryant’s case and assisting Dr. Wilder with her other patients.
Adeline had worked to keep one step ahead of Elias, but lately she’d been completely under the weather, and to her frustration, Elias was doing more work than her.
The only saving grace was that Elias was easy to work with. And as much as she had dreaded his arrival at SDMH at first, now she was glad he was here.
It had been a bumpy start, especially with that one mistake—the moment of passion—but there was no other surgeon in the OB-GYN specialty that she’d rather work with.
Elias was talented.
So she did not need him looking at her with concern and pity.
She had some kind of bug. Nothing more. She just had to shake it.
After this meeting she was going to do a blood draw. She had to find out what had been making her sick. In two days she was flying out to San Francisco with Elias to work on consults for Dr. Wilder. She didn’t have time to be ill.
Maybe you’re not sick. Maybe you’re pregnant?
And she laughed to herself at that thought. It was absurd. She and Elias had used protection. It couldn’t be pregnancy. It just couldn’t.
Her stomach twisted and knotted. All she could think about was the women she’d seen over the years who had gotten pregnant while using protection.
The blood drained from her face. She needed a blood test. Right away.
“Okay, everyone. You have your duties. Let’s prep Mrs. Bryant for surgery.”
Everyone started to leave, but Adeline remained behind to catch her breath, because the room was spinning. Terror at the thought that she might be pregnant overtook her. Her pulse was thundering in her ears and she couldn’t focus.
What if she were pregnant?
Part of her would be secretly thrilled because she had always wanted a family, but then all she could think about was her mother and what had happened to her.
The idea of losing her child was too much to bear, and tears welled up in her eyes for a brief moment.
She brushed them away.
She didn’t want anyone to see her cry.
She glanced up and saw Elias staring at her, concerned.
Adeline’s cheeks heated and she felt embarrassed that he had caught her crying.
“Adeline, are you okay?” Elias asked gently.
“What?”
“You zoned out and you look awful.”
“I feel awful.” Adeline buried her head in her elbow on the table. “Not that it’s your business.” Then she felt bad for snapping at him. She looked up at him and saw he was worried.
She couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked her how she was feeling.
It was nice.
Elias sighed. “No, it’s not my business, but you’ve been sick for a week. It’s no fun without you on my ass giving me heat.”
Adeline chuckled. “I did swabs for COVID because I’m working in the operating room. It’s negative. I’ve been testing for other things. Nothing is conclusive.”
Elias’s brow furrowed. “Well, if you want, we can run a blood test and look for a bunch of stuff. I doubt TTP because I’m sure you’ve been running your blood pressure.”
“It’s elevated. No signs of purpura though.” Adeline groaned.
“See, this is why you should get genetic testing done. Your mother’s TTP was genetic, right?”
Adeline sighed. “I did. I got it done after we were together, but it’ll take some time for it to track down the gene. Gene sequencing takes a while.”
“Did you do an ADAMTS13 as well when you did the draw for the genetic test?” he asked.
“No, the ADAMTS13 smear looks for deformities in the red blood cell. My blood test is to check if I have the gene for the inherited version of TTP. I wasn’t having symptoms, so the smear wouldn’t have shown anything. A month ago, I had no signs to warrant the ADAMTS13 smear. Now that I have some symptoms, I need to check if there are deformities in my red blood cells.”
Elias looked impressed. “Good for you. I’m glad you saw sense.”
She sighed. “Do my blood test so I can get to work. I can’t let whatever this is derail me. You can do an ADAMTS13 smear now if you’d like.”
“You’re probably worn out. We’ve been busy this past month.”
Adeline stood and followed Elias out of the conference room. He was right. Dr. Wilder had kept them busy.
Dr. Wilder liked their pairing and partnered them up. A lot. So much that Adeline was kind of getting used to working with him.
“Take a seat,” Elias ordered as he got everything ready to take her blood.
“You know it will tick me off if it’s just exhaustion,” she muttered.
“Why’s that?” he asked, casually swabbing her arm with alcohol.
“Because you’ve been working the same hours and still look good. What’s with men?”
Elias grinned. “You’re such a complainer. I won’t miss that when I win the spot with Dr. Wilder.”
“Ha ha.” Adeline winced as the needle pricked her.
“There.” Elias finished up. “Hold that cotton ball tight. Honestly, just this blood draw should show signs of TTP. Especially with the ADAMTS13 smear done.”
“I know.”
Elias bagged the vial of blood for the lab and then leaned closer to her, making her heart beat faster.
She could still recall his touch on her skin, the feel of his lips on her body.
The pleasure he had brought to her. Even though they had been together a month ago, she still thought about it. Every once in a while when they were working together, she’d look up and see him there, smiling at her. She’d get a rush, a zing of heat, and recall how it had felt to be in his arms.
It was distracting.
She’d hoped their one night together would be enough, but it hadn’t been.
She wanted more, but she wasn’t going to give in.
Once with the enemy was enough.
“You worry too much,” he whispered and kissed her gently.
That kiss brought back the flush of heat. Her heart beat a bit faster. She forgot that he had just drawn her blood and she’d been sick for a week.
His gentle kiss made her feel safe.
Like it was going to be okay, and that frightened her.
She didn’t want him to make her feel safe.
“Elias,” she murmured.
“What?” he teased.
“You don’t need to be so concerned. I’m fine.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing too much.
“Don’t I? You’re sick.”
“I’m fine. Besides, you have the upper hand, being well. You can get more work done.”
He chuckled. “I know, but I’m worried about you. This is not like you.”
Adeline nodded. “Tell me about it.”
“We’d better get Mrs. Bryant ready for surgery,” he said, standing up instead of leaning over her again. “I’ll get this to the lab and put a rush on it.”
“Thanks.” Adeline removed the cotton ball, looking for signs of extensive bruising, but there was nothing. She placed a bandage over it. “And thanks again for being there.”
“That’s what friends are for.” He turned and left, taking her blood work to the lab.
Adeline sighed, because although she was glad they were still colleagues, perhaps even friends, after their passionate encounter, a part of her wanted more.
And the wanting more always got her into trouble.
Always.
Elias was on the opposite side of the operating table and he was watching Adeline like a hawk. She seemed to be handling the surgery well, but there were times during the prepping of Mrs. Bryant when she’d looked a little green around the gills.
Dr. Wilder hovered and watched over the both of them like a hawk too.
Elias was getting tired of Dr. Wilder pairing him and Adeline together, especially when she would eventually break them up.
Why create a surgical team to end it?
Only one of them could get the position.
And it was going to be him.
He wanted to prove to Dr. Wilder he was a good solo surgeon, but that was hard to do when Dr. Wilder insisted he work with Adeline all the time.
It was grating on his nerves.
You came here to learn from the best.
He had to keep reminding himself of that.
Even though he really liked working with Adeline.
Still, it was his fellowship.
No one was going to get in his way.
The only person he could rely on, the only person he could trust, was himself. Everyone else was a disappointment.
He had trusted Shea and she had broken his heart. He had trusted Aidan and Aidan had stabbed him in the back by stealing Shea, marrying her and being the golden son of Garcia Estates Winery.
Don’t think of them.
Nothing he had ever done was good enough.
But when he became just as world-renowned as Dr. Wilder, maybe his father would respect his choices. Maybe then he could make his father proud. His throat constricted as he tried not to think about his father.
How he could never do anything right.
He was tired of feeling less than.
Instead he thought of Adeline, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Everything else melted away as he thought of her tender kisses, the way she’d sighed in his arms, the scent of her skin and the silkiness of her hair.
It made him think about how much he wanted those moments back, even briefly.
How much he still wanted her in his arms. And it scared him.
“Dr. Garcia, are you ready to deliver the baby?” Adeline asked, breaking through his thoughts.
“Yes, Dr. Turner.”
The baby had been experiencing intermittent late and variable decelerations the longer Mrs. Bryant’s treatment for the TTP went on.
They had bumped the surgery to save the baby.
Elias reached down and gently removed the tiny little boy.
“You have a son,” Elias said to Mrs. Bryant, who was awake. He carried the boy to the incubator to clear his lungs.
“How is he?” Mrs. Bryant asked. “I don’t hear a cry. Oh, God.”
“It’s okay, Mrs. Bryant,” Adeline gently said. “They’re clearing his lungs. He’s in good hands with Dr. Garcia.”
Elias worked quickly and soon there was a gasp, the intake of that first breath of life, and a small cry.
He smiled, never getting tired of that moment. “There we go. Good boy.”
He could hear Mr. and Mrs. Bryant both crying with joy. Elias finished his tests on the newborn and brought the boy over to his parents.
“Congratulations on your son. He’s needing some extra oxygen, so we’re going to take him to the NICU. Mr. Bryant, you can accompany your son if you’d like.”
Mr. Bryant looked at his wife and she nodded.
Elias carried the boy and helped the NICU team get the baby in the incubator.
He would check on the baby later, but right now he had to stay and assist Adeline. Elias changed gloves and came back to the table.
Adeline was working quickly, but the damage was too great. Mrs. Bryant was bleeding too much and the treatment for the clots meant she was bleeding out.
An alarm sounded.
“She’s crashing. We’re going to intubate,” the anesthesiologist said.
“Dammit,” Adeline cursed under her breath.
Dr. Wilder stepped forward. “What’s the next step, Dr. Turner?”
“Hysterectomy.” Adeline shook her head. “There’s too much damage. The patient understood this might happen.”
Elias worked with Adeline as a crash C-section turned into a hysterectomy.
There was no choice. The damage the blood clots had caused was too great and part of the placenta had begun to rupture.
They had saved the baby’s life in the nick of time. Now it was time to save the mother’s.
Elias marveled at Adeline’s skill. Especially since he knew she was under the weather. And he decided right there that if he lost the spot to Adeline, it would be worth it. He wouldn’t be upset if he lost to her.
She was a worthy opponent.
So are you.
No matter what his father thought of him, he was a surgeon.
A respected one.
This was his dream. And nothing would stand in his way.
Not even Adeline.
The surgery took a bit longer, but soon they were done. Mrs. Bryant was stable, and Dr. Wilder was happy.
Elias scrubbed out next to Adeline. “How are you feeling?”
“Beat,” Adeline murmured as she rolled her shoulders.
“You did great.”
“Thanks. I’m glad everyone is okay. Now we see if the symptoms of TTP goes away or if the patient has the genetic version and will have flareups.”
Elias nodded.
“Dr. Garcia?”
He turned to see an intern hovering in the scrub room door.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Lab results.” The intern handed him the paper. He dried his hands and took the sheet. The intern left and he saw it was Adeline’s blood work.
“Your results.”
Adeline sighed. “Read it to me.”
“You sure?”
She nodded. “My eyes are so blurry I don’t think I can. You do it.”
Elias scanned the paper. “ADAMTS13 is negative. Red blood cells are fine.”
Adeline sighed again. “Great.”
He could hear the relief in her voice. He continued to read through the negative results and then his heart stopped beating when he saw the hCG level.
Pregnant?
“Elias, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out.”
“You’re pregnant, Adeline,” Elias murmured, in shock. “You’re pregnant with my baby.”
Adeline couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The room began to spin and it felt like she was free-falling without a parachute.
“I’ve got to go.” She didn’t know where, but she had to put some space between her, Elias and the news that had hit her hard on the head like a sledgehammer.
“Adeline, where are you going?” Elias asked, falling into step beside her.
“Back to my rounds.” She laughed to herself. “You’re completely pulling my leg.”
“No. I’m not.” Elias looked dead serious, which made her pause and take the lab report from him, her hands trembling.
And there it was.
A lab report didn’t lie. She was actually pregnant with Elias’s child.
And all she could think about was that she had made another huge mistake and Elias was going to use this pregnancy against her to get the fellowship.
She watched her career just crumble before her.
What have I done?
“I don’t feel so good,” she murmured, and she could feel the blood draining from her face. Elias’s arm went around her, and he quickly led her out of the main hallway into a dark exam room.
“Here, lie down.” He gently moved her to the examination table. He didn’t turn on the lights, which was fine. There was some sunlight peeking in through the blinds at the window. “Breathe deeply.”
“I am. Trust me,” she muttered.
He wet a paper towel and held it to her head. He was being so sweet again. It was scary that he was seeing her like this.
Weak.
Scared.
All things he could use against her.
He’s not Gregory.
Still, it was hard to trust him. Trust that he’d be around for their baby or that he wouldn’t use this to his advantage.
And though she was thrilled on some level to be pregnant, she was terrified of what this was going to mean for her chance at the spot. When she was first asked to compete for the fellowship, Dr. Wilder had made it very clear that it was a grueling four years.
She had spelled out, in no uncertain terms, that there was no time for a personal life.
So how was having a baby going to look? The worst part of it was, her direct competition was the person who had knocked her up. She felt like she was going to be sick.
“What’re we going to do?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean? We’re going to have a baby. It’s your baby too. Or was that your master plan to take me out of the picture?”
Elias crossed his arms. “I’m not some kind of villain.”
“We’re going to have a baby.” She was in shock. And she couldn’t help but smile.
It was scary, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Just really poorly timed.
“I know,” he said gently. “Truth be told, I have no clue what to do. I suppose we could get married.”
Adeline snorted. “What? This isn’t the 1950s. We don’t have to get married.”
“Yeah, I know. I didn’t realize how silly that sounded.” He smiled the half smile that made her weak at the knees. “Well, I’m going to be here for both of you. I want you to know that. We can raise this baby together. You might be doing all the hard work now, but I’ll always be there for you. That you have my word on.”
“I don’t want to tell anyone,” she said, her voice trembling. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“People will eventually find out.”
Her heart sank.
“Are you going to tell them, though?” she asked, forcing the words out.
“No, but eventually you’ll show.” Elias made a gesture, holding his hand out, his eyes twinkling.
Adeline smiled. “You’re right.”
“I won’t say anything.”
She looked into his eyes, and she wanted to trust him, but Gregory had lied to her.
How could she trust Elias?
“Dr. Wilder is making her announcement soon. I don’t want my pregnancy to cloud her judgment,” she whispered.
Elias cocked an eyebrow. “And what happens if you get it and then Dr. Wilder finds out about your pregnancy?”
“You can’t discriminate against a pregnant woman,” she said quickly.
Elias shook his head. “She can’t do that now.”
“She might!” Adeline sat up. “Ignore me, I’m being irrational.”
“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Trust me.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair, making his curls stand on end. “Like I said, I won’t say anything.”
“You won’t?”
Elias expression softened and he touched her face. “I won’t.”
She wanted to believe him.
I’m not married, Gregory had said. Why do you want to know? We’re having a good time. That’s all that matters.
Adeline shook the thought out of her head. She’d fallen for Gregory’s smile and charming words. She didn’t want to make the same mistake again.
Elias is different. You can trust him.
“I need you to do something else.”
“Oh?” he asked cautiously.
“I need you to monitor me for signs of TTP. The genetic test still hasn’t come in and... I’m worried.”
“But we ran your blood work, you’re okay, and now we know why your BP was raised.”
“Elias, please.” She hated to beg, but she was terrified. All she could think of was her mother. All she could remember was the anxiety that had permeated the air when her mother had fallen pregnant again or when her mother had had a flare-up.
Tears stung her eyes and she was angry at herself for crying. Especially in front of Elias. She didn’t cry in front of anyone.
She never let anyone see her tears, but she couldn’t stop them from coming. She was losing control and she hated it.
What was wrong with her?
You’re pregnant.
“Hey, don’t worry. We’ll watch it. I promise, but I don’t think it’s something you have.”
“And if it is?” she asked.
“We’ll deal with it.” Elias put an arm around her and held her close. Part of her wanted to push him away, but she didn’t. Instead she curled up against him and tried to regain control of her emotions, which were all over the place. She felt so safe with his arm around her. Like he would never let her go, like she could happily stay here, wrapped up in his arm forever.
Only, the other part of her was scared that he’d leave her.
And it would be just her and the baby.
This was the part of her that reminded her there was no forever with Elias.
How could there be?
Tears really began to flow then. She hated the way she was losing control over her feelings. She was scared of picturing any kind of happy-ever-after with Elias.
She had a hard time believing he’d be around for this baby.
The only other time she’d ever pictured some sort of happy-ever-after was when she was with Gregory, and look how that had turned out.
He had lied to her. He’d been married. He’d made a fool of her.
And then because she had dumped him when she found out he was married, he had said she was the one who came on to him because she wanted good grades, all so he could save his job.
Adeline had been duped back then and had sworn that she was never going to let that happen again, so she had let go of her romantic dreams and focused on what she could control.
“Well, we’d better go find Dr. Wilder. See what our next case is.” She shrugged out of his side hug and stood up, wiping her face.
“Are you going to be okay?”
“No,” she said. “But I will be, and I’ll still kick your butt. Especially when we’re in San Francisco.”
Elias smiled at her and nodded. “We’ll be okay. We’ve got this. We’re a good team and we’re good competitors.”
He was right. They were, but how long would they be?
That was the question.
Only one of them was going to walk away with the position. And if it was Elias, would he even have time for the baby that he had conceived during a one-night stand?
They found Dr. Wilder in her office.
“How is the patient doing?” Dr. Wilder asked.
“Stable,” Adeline answered. “I sent you my operative report, which I typed up right after I scrubbed out.”
Dr. Wilder nodded. “Thank you. You did very well. Both of you did. How is the infant doing, Dr. Garcia?”
“The baby boy is also stable. He’s on a nasal cannula for oxygen but is otherwise fine. He scored an Apgar of three when born and now is a seven in the NICU. He’s responding quite well.”
Dr. Wilder nodded again. “Good. Remember that you were going to San Francisco in a couple of days to run consults? I need you two to go tonight.”
“Tonight?” Elias asked.
“Yes. There is a patient currently admitted. She is pregnant with twins. The head of obstetrics is my friend and he’s a bit short-staffed. He could use some help and you two are the best. You’re a good team and balance each other well. I’d like to fly you up to San Francisco tonight. Everything will be paid for.”
“Thank you, Dr. Wilder,” Adeline said. “I am definitely interested in the challenge.”
“Yes,” Elias said, hoping his voice didn’t show his uncertainty. He’d been dreaming about this trip since Dr. Wilder had announced it.
He had been trying to figure out a way to get out of it.
Only he couldn’t. Not if he wanted the fellowship. “Thank you.”
“Good. Well, get home and pack up. The Hospital for Special Surgery in San Francisco is sending their private jet to pick you both up. The flight leaves at seven.”
Adeline turned and left the office, and Elias followed her out.
He didn’t want to go to San Francisco.
Elias’s mind was still reeling over Adeline’s test result. He was going to be a father and that shocked him.
It was something he had always wanted but hadn’t expected to happen.
And certainly not now.
And not with Adeline.
Pregnant.
They had used protection, but the logical part of his brain reminded him that protection wasn’t infallible.
A family had never been his plan after Shea had left him and embarrassed him by marrying Aidan. He just couldn’t put his heart on the line to commit to someone else. But even though it wasn’t part of his plan, he wasn’t going to abandon this baby or Adeline.
This was his child and he was going to be there for the baby. No matter what and no matter who got the position. Adeline didn’t believe it, but Elias was a man of his word.
He would not tell anyone about this baby until Adeline was ready and he would not abandon it if he got the job. He was a bit nervous about being in San Francisco, so close to home. So close to his family.
He hadn’t seen them in two years. They had been texting him, emailing him a lot, especially his sister, but Elias had kept putting them off.
He wasn’t ready to go back, and he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with his family. He didn’t want to go back until he had this fellowship. If they knew he was in San Francisco working, he’d have no excuse not to see them. They’d come to San Francisco just to visit him.
Well, at least his sister and mother would.
Elias wasn’t so sure about his father and younger brother.
“You okay?” Adeline asked. “Now you seem to be a bit catatonic.”
“It’s been a lot today,” he muttered. “And honestly, I don’t want to go to San Francisco.”
“Why? I thought you were excited about this consult?”
“I was, but San Francisco is close to Napa.”
“And your family.”
“I’ve been dreading this since Dr. Wilder mentioned it, but there was no way out of it. Part of me hoped it would be canceled.”
Adeline smiled. “Instead it was bumped up.”
Elias sighed. “I’ve been avoiding my family for two years.”
Adeline’s eyes widened. “Whoa, all because you didn’t take over the family estate.”
“Partly, but mostly because...” He trailed off. “My brother married my ex.”
And he couldn’t believe he was telling Adeline that. Something about her relaxed him and let him put down his guard. He had never told anyone about his brother stealing his ex. It was his burden to bear.
And it made him nervous that Adeline had broken down his walls.
That he told her about his shame, that Shea didn’t think he was worthy enough, but Aidan was.
You grew apart.
Still, Aidan had always needed to have what Elias had. Except Aidan hadn’t been able to compete with Elias when it came to academics. Aidan hadn’t made the grades to go to a university. He hadn’t gotten the awards or scholarships.
And Elias knew it had driven Aidan crazy.
Did it, though?
That thought gave Elias pause. Maybe he’d rubbed his scholarships and his awards in Aidan’s face too much over the years. Aidan had a knack for the vineyard. He liked being out there on the land and Elias didn’t. That wasn’t a bad thing.
Still, Aidan had Shea and had their father’s admiration.
“That’s kind of messed up,” Adeline said, interrupting his thoughts.
And he chuckled. “Right?”
“Well, don’t tell them you’re in San Francisco. We’re there to work. We’re going to be busy.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“I have a few things to finish here and then I’m headed back to the beach house to pack. I have a feeling we’re going to be in San Francisco for a few days. We can share a ride to the airport.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
Adeline smiled and walked away, but Elias didn’t feel any relief. He was cross because he had told her that secret part about him.
He hated sharing that, and it scared him how easy it was being around Adeline. How easy it was to open up to her.
It was dangerous, but for the first time in a long while, it didn’t sting as much to think of Shea and Aidan.
It’s because of Adeline. It’s because of the baby.
And that thought terrified him too. His last real relationship had been Shea, but Adeline had gotten under his skin.
And he cared for her.
And he was really happy about the baby.
Scared, but thrilled.
He was going to absolutely be there for the baby, but Adeline had made it clear she didn’t want him. She didn’t want marriage. She just wanted to remain as they were. For the first time in a long time, all Elias could think of was that he was so close to having everything he had dreamed about when he was younger. When he’d been planning his life with Shea.
Of course, the family was to come after his career was secure. Only, now he wasn’t sure he would be able to claim it.
He was afraid his old dreams of having a family would be snatched away, like so many of his dreams in the past had been.