IT FELT SO good to be home.
Her life was in turmoil at the moment: the fellowship, her pregnancy and these few days of consults in San Francisco. Everything was crazy, but it still felt good to be back.
It had been a long time since Adeline had been in San Francisco. It hadn’t been two years like Elias, but still, it had been a good six months since she’d been to see her parents, and though she wanted to go see her mother while she was here, she wasn’t sure.
Mom would find out about the pregnancy, and Adeline really didn’t want to trigger something in her or make her worried, especially when Adeline didn’t even have the results of that genetic test.
It was already bothering her enough, the not knowing, but logically she knew how long genetic testing took.
She also didn’t want her mother to get her hopes up about a wedding or some kind of fairy-tale happily-ever-after for Adeline.
Wouldn’t that be nice, though?
She smiled to herself thinking of that, but it wasn’t going to happen.
Adeline was also worried about the bad timing of this whole pregnancy. At least she wasn’t showing yet and only Elias knew about it.
No one else had to know yet, and other than her obvious morning sickness, she was okay.
Elias didn’t say much on the flight up to San Francisco. He was brooding the whole way and she couldn’t blame him. Not after what he had told her. They had both been sharing a lot. It was kind of nice to talk to someone about things.
To trust someone enough to share.
Adeline hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been.
Still, she didn’t like anyone knowing about her personal problems, so it put them on equal ground with her knowing about his family. Adeline was fine with not talking. She really didn’t have a whole lot to say either.
She had her own worries. She didn’t need to trouble him.
As long as Elias kept his word and didn’t tell Dr. Wilder about her pregnancy.
He had promised he wouldn’t, and she wanted to believe him.
She really did. Only, there was a part of her that wouldn’t let her.
She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves.
But she was so scared. So scared of losing it all: the baby, the fellowship and Elias.
That thought took her by surprise because she didn’t have Elias.
They were friends now, colleagues, but he wasn’t hers and she wasn’t his.
After the plane landed, they were whisked away to a two-bedroom apartment that the hospital owned for visiting physicians. It was located near the Panhandle district, which was close to the Botanical Gardens and Golden Gate Park.
She was across town from her parents, who lived in Cow Hollow.
Well, not completely across town, but it would take a few connections on the bus to get from the Panhandle district to Cow Hollow, which was down near the Presidio.
The apartment was furnished sparsely, but it would be comfortable enough for them. Suddenly she was nervous about being alone with Elias in this apartment. Even though they lived together as roommates in San Diego, her room was on a different floor than Elias’s.
And James and Sherrie were there too. They were buffers.
This was different. This was just the two of them. Alone.
She was more nervous than she had thought.
“This is nicer than I expected,” Elias remarked as he wandered around the modern apartment furnished in grays and whites, with floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, which faced the park. So there was a nice view of the green trees that covered the Panhandle. “So different from sand and the beach.”
“I know. I forgot how much I missed trees that weren’t palm trees,” she teased.
“San Diego has other trees.”
“Yeah, but it’s more arid.” Adeline wandered into one of the bedrooms and sank down on the king-sized bed. Her room had its own bathroom. It was a bit nicer than her place in the beach house.
“You look comfortable.” Elias leaned against the door jamb.
“I am,” Adeline remarked, sighing. “It’s been a long day.”
“Are you hungry? I thought we might walk somewhere and get something to eat?”
She should have said no, kept her distance, and she was tired. But she was hungry.
Her stomach won out over her need to sleep.
“That sounds good.”
His phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket, frowning when he saw the text, before slipping it away.
“Your family?” Adeline asked.
“It’s like they have radar and know when to start hassling me. They know that I left my previous internship in Houston and am back in California, in San Diego.”
“How did they find that out?” she asked.
Elias sighed. “I told my nephew, and now my sister is threatening to drive down to San Diego to see me.”
“That would be a long, disappointing drive,” Adeline teased.
“It would.”
“You could say you’re unavailable.”
“She’d still drive down to see me.”
“You might as well tell her where you are but tell her you’re busy.”
“I will, but first, let’s go get something to eat before all the restaurants close. We have a busy day tomorrow with that patient, consults and whatever else comes our way.” He was counting on his fingers, his eyes twinkling, and he was back to the same easygoing Elias she’d grown to know over the last month.
Adeline laughed. “Fine.”
She grabbed her purse and they headed out of their apartment and down the stairs to the street. It took her a moment to orient herself, but soon they were walking on Masonic Avenue, across the park towards Haight-Ashbury. Haight Street was lined with various places to dine.
They settled on a little Mexican place that had a rooftop patio, so they could enjoy the cool evening breeze of San Francisco.
And so they could talk, because the inside of the restaurant was packed full of people and had blaring Mexican music, making it impossible to hear anything.
“I am glad I brought my sweater,” Adeline said, pulling on her cardigan.
“It is nice tonight. Not that San Diego is overly hot either in June. I find the fall the hottest time of the year.”
“Yes. Especially here too.”
“So if it’s June, our baby should be born...in February?” Elias was counting on his fingers again and Adeline was chuckling. “What’s so funny?”
“You count on your fingers.”
He looked down. “It’s something I picked up when I was a kid. I can do math quickly in my head when it comes to things like medicating and measurements, but since I was a kid I’ve counted on my fingers.”
“I think it’s cute.” And then heat bloomed in her cheeks, and she was embarrassed she’d said that out loud. There was a lot about Elias that she liked. And a lot that made her nervous.
No one had ever made her feel like this before.
Not even Gregory.
She had been hoping their time together a month ago had been enough to get him out of her system, but it had done the exact opposite. She liked being around him. She liked working with him. He was charming, funny, sexy and easy to talk to. And now she was pregnant with his baby and she couldn’t get him out of her mind. She kept thinking about all the what-ifs.
And that scared her.
She was afraid of getting hurt again.
“Thanks, I think.” He winked and smiled. “So, am I right about March?”
“Yes. Based on my last cycle, I’m thinking around St. Patrick’s Day. If everything goes normally.” She crossed her fingers.
“Why are you crossing your fingers?”
“I don’t want to jinx it.” She sighed. “I want it all to work out.”
“I had no idea you were superstitious.”
“I’m not.”
He cocked an eyebrow and looked at her in disbelief. “Really?”
“Fine. I am. I’m a surgeon, I have a scientific mind and I have some superstitions.”
“And I think that’s cute,” he whispered, making her heart skip a beat. “Besides, most surgeons you’ll find are superstitious. They may not want to admit it, but there are certain things that surgeons do to bring about the good vibes.”
“And what do you do?”
He grinned, those dark eyes of his twinkling again. “I count on my fingers.”
Adeline blushed again, thinking how cute he was when he did that, just as the waiter came over to take their order. As much as she really wanted to have a big tequila-laden margarita, she resisted and opted for the alcohol-free version and chicken mole.
She was craving beef, the rarer the better, but she knew that wasn’t safe for the baby.
Elias opted for iced tea and an enchilada.
“You know, you can have a beer or something,” she said.
“No. I’m okay with iced tea. I want my wits about me for tomorrow and it was a long day—Mrs. Bryant’s surgery, our little news and flying up to San Francisco.” The way he said San Francisco was in disgust or annoyance.
“It’s really bothering you to be back here?”
He nodded. “I decided to text my sister and tell her that I was in San Francisco this weekend, but I was working and wouldn’t have time to see her. She hasn’t responded, but at least she won’t be driving down to San Diego, searching the streets for me.”
“She cares about you. It’s sweet.”
“And what about your family? You said they were in San Francisco. Are you going to make time to see them?”
Adeline sighed. “I suppose I must.”
“Now who’s avoiding seeing their family?” he teased.
“I’m not avoiding them...well, I am, sort of. I don’t want to worry my mom or tell her I’m pregnant until we have the results of the genetic testing.”
“Well, you can still see her. She won’t know you’re pregnant.”
Adeline nodded. “True, but she’ll know that I’m off. I can’t hide anything from her.”
“What about...your brother, was it?”
“He’s married with kids and lives in Oakland, across the bay. He’s pretty busy, but I’ll text him and let him know I’m here. I haven’t seen my two nephews in a couple of months. It would be nice to see them again.”
“How old are they?”
“Five. They’re twins.” She smiled. “Twins run in my family.”
His eyes widened. “They run in mine too. We’d better get you an ultrasound sooner rather than later!”
Adeline laughed out loud. “Could you imagine?”
And then the thought hit her harder.
What if it is twins?
“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “That would be...”
She tried to picture herself with two babies and saw two dark-haired little girls, and the thought gave her a secret thrill.
“Difficult!” Elias said, finishing her sentence and interrupting her thoughts.
They both laughed at the absurdity of that, because it was too early for an ultrasound to determine whether or not there was one baby or two or more, and wouldn’t it just figure? Knowing her luck.
Yet there was a part of her that wanted it to happen.
So badly.
A family.
“Cross your fingers again, Adeline. And keep them crossed so it’s just one,” Elias teased.
“I’ll keep everything crossed from now on,” Adeline muttered.
He winked. “Well, not everything.”
Heat rushed through her veins. She hoped that she wasn’t blushing and if she was, she hoped he couldn’t see it in the dim light of the rooftop patio.
It was supposed to be a one-time thing.
She didn’t want a relationship. Especially when one of them would have to lose for the other to take the fellowship. Only, they were friends now. They were sharing this baby.
She felt hot and bothered as she looked at him, her heart racing, her stomach fluttering with anticipation as she thought of that time a month ago and how good it had felt to be in his arms.
There was a part of her that said it couldn’t hurt. She was already pregnant.
Her conflicting thoughts were interrupted when the waiter brought their food, and for the first time in a month, Adeline didn’t feel sick at the sight or smell of food.
She just hoped her body didn’t change its mind later.
“So, neonatology. That’s a difficult specialty. Why did you choose it?” she asked, making casual conversation.
Elias cocked an eyebrow. The dimple on his cheek nearly made her swoon.
“Getting to know the competition better?”
“I think we’re beyond that.”
“Are we?” he asked.
Her cheeks flushed. “Well, we’re still competitors, but tonight...tonight we can be friends.”
“I’d like that. For tonight.” He winked.
“So?”
“So?”
“Why neonatology and medicine instead of vineyards?”
Elias sighed. “Well, besides me being a preemie, like I said, my nephew, Manny, was born early and almost died. I was fifteen years old and decided then and there to be a NICU doctor. I was never interested in the vineyard. Much to my father’s disappointment.” He shrugged. “Medicine is my passion. It’s never let me down.”
Adeline understood that.
Medicine had never let her down either.
“So, how about you? Was it just your mother’s TTP that drove you to this fellowship or do you have something to prove like me?”
He meant it as a tease, but he was right. She had something to prove.
“I changed medical schools due to a personal issue. One that almost wrecked my career, so yeah, I have something to prove.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”
“I got involved with the wrong man. That’s all I’m going to say.”
And she had said too much already.
Why was it so easy to spill too much information to him? How did he get under her skin? What was it about him?
She had to be more careful. Although she trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone before, she still couldn’t be completely sure of him.
She was too scared.
They had an enjoyable dinner and Adeline footed the bill because she still hadn’t paid Elias back for that evening when he ordered in pad thai, which had led to that kiss, which had led to the on-call room the next day, which had led to their current predicament. It was late and they both had an early morning meeting with their respective teams and getting to know the patients.
Adeline was looking forward to throwing herself into her work and trying not to think about her pregnancy, her family or Elias.
Although she was working closely with him, so she couldn’t completely put him out of her mind.
She knew this feeling well.
It had been some time since she had experienced anything like this, but she was falling for Elias. And she was annoyed with herself for falling for the wrong man.
Again.
She was falling for her rival. Falling for a man she might end up hurting if she got the fellowship over him.
Or vice versa.
She had a feeling this was doomed and that thought saddened her.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Only she was having a hard time convincing herself that it would be okay.
She was so afraid of opening her heart and trusting again.
“You okay?” he asked as they walked back to the apartment in silence.
“I am. Just tired.” Which wasn’t a lie. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. It had been a long day.
She had to get control over her emotions, which was hard to do being pregnant, but she had to. She wasn’t going to get hurt again.
She couldn’t.
Her heart couldn’t take it.
Especially not where Elias Garcia was concerned. He meant too much to her. She didn’t want their friendship to end.
She didn’t want her baby’s—their baby’s—parents to hate each other.
Over what? A job?
For the sake of the baby, she had to be careful.
Elias tossed and turned all night.
All he could think about was the texts from his sister, wanting to see him. Hurt that he hadn’t texted her sooner to let her know that he had moved from Houston to San Diego. And even though he didn’t want to drive to Napa, he was going to have to at some point.
There was no getting around it. He’d put it off too long.
And he hated the fact that he would be going there empty-handed.
He didn’t have the fellowship yet. He didn’t own his own place. He still had roommates. He didn’t have a serious relationship. He was showing no sign of settling down, which was what his dad valued as success. Elias had none of those things.
Nothing to prove to them that his education had been worth it.
Nothing tangible for them except Adeline carrying his child. His parents would be thrilled about the baby, but his father would ask him why he wasn’t with Adeline.
He’d ask why they weren’t together.
Why they weren’t married.
His father would just complain that Elias could never settle down.
He’d complain that he wandered around from school to school, job to job, woman to woman.
It was his wandering that had caused him to drift apart from Shea. Although he had never cheated on her, he had grown emotionally apart from Shea, which had allowed Aidan to swoop in and take her.
Aidan had always wanted what Elias had, and though he hadn’t made the grades to go to medical school, Aidan had gotten the girl, the vineyard and their father’s approval.
Elias had one thing Aidan didn’t. A medical degree. And soon a fellowship.
But not Adeline.
And that thought made him sad.
Only one of them would win this fellowship.
And what would his father think if he took it from the mother of his child? The fellowship wouldn’t matter to his father. His father would be ashamed and honestly, so would Elias.
So why should he even go back home?
Aidan would be right there, rubbing in how he’d done all the right things and Elias had made a mess of his life.
What he wanted to do was take Adeline there, show her off as his significant other and tell them all she was pregnant. He liked Adeline and he was thrilled about the baby.
He wanted to prove to them that his life was together. They didn’t understand that becoming a surgeon took time; that he wasn’t throwing his life away because of it.
Cursing under his breath, he threw off the covers and pulled on his jeans, so he wouldn’t scare Adeline walking around naked.
Although he had the distinct feeling that it wouldn’t freak her out too much. And that thought made him smile and laugh softly to himself.
He crept down the hall and checked her room, but she wasn’t there, which made him worried. He headed out to the living room and she was standing at the window, staring out at the darkness.
“Adeline?” he asked.
She turned around. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m nervous about tomorrow and every time I get nervous, I feel a bit nauseated. Why are you up?”
“I couldn’t sleep either. I was thinking about...” He trailed off, running his hand through his hair. “Thinking about tomorrow as well.”
Which was the half-truth.
Adeline sighed and sat down on the couch, and he sat down next to her.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“About what?”
“About the baby and who gets the fellowship. Only one of us can get the fellowship.”
His stomach twisted. “I don’t know.”
“I hate this. I never thought I’d say it, but I hate this fellowship.”
“Me too.”
“So?”
“What do we do?” he asked gently.
“Yeah.”
“Like I said, I don’t know.”
“That’s not very reassuring,” she teased.
“Okay. You want reassuring. We try to sleep and we get up and do our jobs. We don’t think about all the solutions right now. We take this one day at a time and do the best that we can do for those patients.”
“You’re right.” She sighed and leaned up against him on the couch. It was nice having her so close. It was nice holding her here on the couch. He could smell the lavender scent of her shampoo and he reached out to touch her soft, silky hair.
She snuggled in closer.
He liked this.
Being with her.
It felt right. It was nice not competing right now.
“I’m always right,” he teased. He should get up and leave, but he didn’t want to move.
“Whoever gets the fellowship, we’ll figure it out.” She yawned. “We’ll figure this all out.”
“Right.” Only he wasn’t so confident about that. He was worried about what was going to happen. He didn’t want Adeline to get hurt.
He didn’t want to ruin their friendship.
For the first time in a long time, he longed for what Aidan had. He wanted to be settled and that scared him.
It’s only because Aidan and Shea are settled. You have something to prove.
But he shook the thought away.
It wasn’t just that.
He wanted to stay with Adeline and his child. He wanted to settle down, but Adeline had made it clear that she didn’t, and he didn’t want to get his heart broken.
The thing was, his heart was already in danger.
He was falling for Adeline. Even though they had been in direct competition since he had landed in San Diego, he liked her.
She made life interesting.
There was so much he liked about her. She was smart, funny, sexy.
It was so easy to be with her.
He could be himself. His walls could be down. He didn’t have to protect himself.
He loved working with her, and since their moment of passion, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about her in his arms. The taste of her kisses.
The way she had gotten under his skin. He wanted her.
He was falling for her and he was scared.