This book grew out of the work I do on a daily basis to help people create more space for what they believe is important to their lives, and for what they want to achieve and become. My experience is that most people know what is important to them – they just don’t always act on it, and that they need help to think through exactly what and why they want to achieve, and how best to do that.
Helping people in such a way is a great privilege and I feel blessed to have found a professional life that is so interesting, fulfilling and rewarding. But, of course, there is a limit to how many people I, or my colleagues, can work with. My hope is that this book will act as a ‘proxy’ coach, stimulating you to have an internal discourse that won’t be too different from the one we’d have if we were sitting in my office together.
At the beginning of this book, I outlined the two ideas that underlie my belief that everyone in today’s world, but particularly leaders, need to ‘create space’:
We have become the first generation in one thousand generations of human beings who, rather than having the need to fill space, have the need to create it.
and
Before you set out to grow as a leader, you must first create the space that you will grow into. Creating space is the a priori task that unlocks optimal personal performance and development.
We looked in depth at four domains where creating space will serve both us and the people around us. These were:
1. Space to think. All of the things that make our human-made world so incredible – the inventions, skylines, books, practices and art – emerged from thought, from human beings who dared to encounter white space or a blank page.
2. Space to connect. We are fundamentally relational beings. A life replete with achievements and activity would, for most of us, be utterly worthless without someone to share it with or to connect with along the way.
3. Space to do. Whether you call it executing, delivering or plain old getting things done, ‘doing’ makes up a large part of our lives, particularly our work lives. In a world stuffed to the brim with distractions, creating space to ‘do’ sets you apart.
4. Space to be. Despite what I just said about doing, we are human beings. Making the space and time for the ‘being’ part of our lives is vital to having a life well lived.
As the book progressed, we explored twelve key lessons, brought to life by characters inspired by the brave, curious people I have had the honour of coaching.
1. From Raku we learned that making the space to reflect on your decisions, carefully exploring what you are doing and why, frees you to contribute to the very best of your ability.
2. Rachel’s story taught us that in today’s fast-changing world you must operate with genuine humility and create the space to be curious and open to constant learning.
3. Hans’s story showed us that if you want to be a creative, visionary and strategic leader you must create the space to be clear about what you think; make bold decisions; communicate these with confidence; and be known for being decisive.
4. Nick’s story about his deadbeat dads illuminated how being aware of what you’re feeling, and why, will stop you being driven by buried emotions from the past and allow you to create the space to live fully in the here and now.
5. Beata’s story about her team reminded us that, if you are to have real, rich relationships, it’s vital to be in touch with – and brave enough to share – what is really going on for you. Even in a leadership role.
6. Amir’s hard won lesson showed us that however many strengths you have, you also need good Emotional Intelligence and the ability to build rich relationships to be truly successful.
7. Tom and Darren’s tech company dilemma showed us that having a clear goal (what you want to do) and a clear plan (how you’re going to get there) are the prerequisites of executing successfully.
8. Tamsin’s busyness and ultimate failure to deliver reminded us that if you try to do too much, you will fail to create the space to think about and deliver what really matters.
9. Yulia’s story showed us that stepping back and making the space to deliver in a way that empowers those around you, means you can deliver something outstanding and truly transformational.
10. Oscar’s powerful story about his love of the land, highlighted how there are times when you need to look deep on the inside to know what you really want, and then have the courage to go after it.
11. Trevone’s story of near collapse served to demonstrate that work and life really aren’t in opposition; finding balance between them will make you more successful at both.
12. Almantas taught us that there is always an opportunity cost to creating the space to grow. You need to recognise this and be willing to pay the price.
As well as highlighting the power and vitality of space, I spoke a lot about core pathogenic beliefs. In the middle of each person’s struggle to make space to think, connect, do or be, there was a belief running in the background that was the real source of what was going on. The lack of space in that person’s life, whether it manifested as Tamsin’s incessant busyness, Trevone’s ‘stress’, or Amir’s refusal to acknowledge his and others’ emotions, was a symptom of something deeper. We looked at where CPBs come from, why we have them and how they can get in the way of our leadership and our lives. I presented a number of strategies for working with and transforming your CPBs into healthy, enriching beliefs which, when given the space to take root in your life, can create lasting positive change.
We also explored numerous tools, strategies and shifts in perception that might open up more space in each of the twelve areas. Obviously it’s not possible to do all of this at once. I would go as far to say that you could spend a month focusing on each and still have some way to go. As we near the end of the book, my sincere hope is that it is not the end of your time with this material. I urge you to make this not just a book that you read and put away, but that you use it as a manual or handbook that will serve and support you for many years to come. Think about two or three changes you’d really like to make in your life over the next twelve months, and use those particular chapters or essays within the chapters to coach and support you as you make those changes, one shift at a time. Then next year choose a few more.
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Almost all of this book addresses the world of work. Implicit, though, is the idea that the need to create space also applies to the rest of our lives: our intimate personal relationships, our parenting, our friendships. In particular the lessons contained in Part 2 on Space to Connect and Part 4 on Space for Balance contain insights and ideas that you can apply in your personal and family life as well as at work. For almost all of us, family and friends are the most important things in our lives but, alas, for almost all of us, we don’t always act like it.
This book has set out multiple ways to help you create the space to consider – carefully and deliberately – what you want to do, how you should go about doing it and, on a deeper level, who you want to be and what kind of life you want to live. I send good wishes for whatever comes next. Thanks for creating space to read Create Space. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and found it useful. I’d love to hear from you: derek@cdp.consulting.