I stumbled and righted myself. Spinning, I looked for the portal, but it was gone. There was nothing but a thick gray fog.
Panic threatened to choke me, but I pushed it down. I’d been here before with Conlan, which meant it had to be a part of Faerie. And he’d created a portal out of here, so I could, too.
I still had the stone in my hand, so I did exactly what I’d done to create my first portal. It was much easier to connect to the magic from this side of the barrier, and an outline of a portal began to appear. I imagined the parking lot behind Lukas’s building. I could do this.
“Jesse.”
I spun around at the woman’s voice, but all I saw was fog. Thinking I had imagined it, I returned my focus to the portal. It grew as big as a door, and I could make out the faint shape of a building on the other side.
The fog swirled, and I thought I saw a shape coming toward me. My heart thudded, and I lost my concentration. The portal began to close.
No. I pushed my magic into the portal. As soon as it reopened, I jumped through it.
I nearly fell when my feet hit uneven ground instead of flat pavement. Dread coiled in my stomach, and I straightened to look at my surroundings.
I was standing on a beach, facing the ocean where huge swells rose and rolled toward the shore under the first light of day. Turning, I found trees and greenery and noticed a few tall palm trees. A dozen feet away, a large turtle left a trail in the sand as he made his way to the water.
The roar of the waves drew my gaze back to the ocean. I squinted, and this time, I could pick out the dark shapes of people on boards. Surfers.
Relief filled me. If there were people here, I hadn’t landed on some deserted island. My shock had worn off enough for me to take stock of my surroundings. It was windy but warm, and the sky told me it was not long after sunrise. That meant I had travelled west to an earlier time zone. California maybe?
I did a quick calculation. California was three hours behind New York, which would make it mid-morning there. It was definitely earlier than that here. That left…Hawaii. I was in Hawaii. The question was which one of the islands was I on?
I reached for my phone. No need to panic. I’d call Faolin, and he’d trace my phone. Then one of them would come and get me.
Only my phone wasn’t in my back pocket where I’d put it before I left my room. I patted all my jeans pockets frantically as if the phone would magically appear in one of them. It took a whole minute for me to realize what had happened. I’d entered the portal without warding the phone like Lukas did, and Faerie had destroyed it.
“Okay, now you can panic.” I looked both ways on the beach, but I was alone. Those surfers had to come in somewhere, so I jogged along the beach until I came upon a duffle bag and some men’s sandals. I sat in the sand beside the bag and waited.
Forty-five minutes later, two of the surfers walked out of the water with their boards under their arms and headed to where I sat. When they drew near, the men slowed and shot me suspicious looks. Both looked to be in their early twenties with dark hair and the tanned glow of people who spent a lot of time in the sun.
“Can we help you?” one of them asked warily.
I stood and brushed sand off my jeans, which looked out of place here. “I hope so. Do either of you have a phone I can use?”
“You broke down?” the other asked.
“More like stranded.” I wrinkled my nose. “It’s a long story.”
“Ah.” The first one smirked and bent to unzip the bag. “I have a few of those to tell.” He unlocked a silver phone and handed it to me.
“Thanks.” I punched in Conlan’s number and let out a breath when it started to ring. I hoped he didn’t reject the call because of the unknown number.
“Hello?” he said in a voice laden with tension. I cringed at the thought of what he’d been going through in the last hour.
“It’s me.”
“Jesse? Oh, thank the goddess!” There was a rustling sound and a muffled, “It’s her.”
The next voice to come out of the phone was Lukas’s. I couldn’t tell if he was furious or worried when he said, “Where are you?”
“Uh…one second.” I pressed the phone to my chest and looked at the two men who were watching me. “Where are we exactly?”
The two of them shared a look, and the one who had loaned me his phone snickered. “You really did have a fun night. We’re at Pua’ena Point on the North Shore.”
I repeated that to Lukas, and he, in turn, said it to someone else. I waited for an awkward thirty seconds before he said, “I’m on my way.”
I handed the phone back to its owner. “You’re a lifesaver. Thanks.”
“Whoa!” he said, his eyes going wide at something behind me.
I spun and saw Lukas stepping from a portal a few dozen yards away. He looked angry enough to uproot the trees as he strode toward us, but I didn’t think I’d ever been so happy to see him. I ran across the sand, meeting him halfway, and threw my arms around him.
I was prepared to be yelled at and scolded, and I wouldn’t complain because I deserved it. What I didn’t expect was for him to wrap me in his arms and hold me tightly against him like I might vanish at any moment.
He murmured something in Fae I couldn’t understand, but no translation was needed to hear the worry in his voice. Guilt racked me for being reckless and making him and the others worry.
“We had no idea where you’d gone, and there was no way to trace you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said against his chest. “I was stupid, and I never should have tried that.”
Lukas released a ragged sigh. “Sometimes, mi’calaech, I don’t know if Aedhna sent you as a kindness or a test of my sanity.”
I smiled. “Maybe I’m both.”
He dropped his arms and took my face in his hands. I tilted my head back to meet his blue eyes, and my belly did a flip at the flare of heat in his gaze. His head lowered, and I held my breath in anticipation of the first brush of his lips against mine.
Someone hooted nearby, and the moment was gone. I wanted to cry when I turned to see the two grinning surfers watching us. More people had left the water and were walking over to join the men. This quiet beach was suddenly getting a little too crowded.
Lukas took my hand and led me down the beach, away from the men. We entered the privacy of the trees, and a thrill went through me at being alone with him.
My hopes of a kiss were crushed when he turned away and created a portal. I tried to hide my disappointment when he took my hand and we entered the stone courtyard. For the first time, I had no interest in seeing more of the place before he opened the second portal to his living room.
To my mortification, the whole gang was there waiting for us, and I had to explain what happened after I apologized for my little stunt.
“If it’s possible to shorten a life, you did it with me,” Conlan teased good-naturedly.
Heat crept up my neck. “I swear I’ll never do that again.”
“Lukas,” Faolin said in a more serious tone. “The king sent a summons for you. You’re needed at court.”
“I’ve been expecting that. Send word that we’ll be there within the hour.”
I relaxed, grateful for a reprieve from the scolding for my reckless behavior. At the same time, I hated the thought of him leaving. “How long will you be gone?”
“Several weeks, at least.” He paused. “We are all going.”
“Oh.” I tried not to show my dismay at the thought of being here alone for weeks. Kaia entered the room and came up to rub against my hip, and I reached down to stroke her head. “I guess it’ll just be us girls.”
Lukas’s brows drew together, and then his eyes widened slightly as if he’d made some realization. “When I say all, that includes you. You’re coming to Faerie with us.”
“You don’t have to be nervous,” Faris said when I rejoined them in the living room, less than an hour after Lukas’s little bombshell. “We will be with you.”
I swallowed dryly. “I’m not nervous.”
I was terrified, but I was too proud to tell any of them that. This wasn’t like travelling to another country, which I’d also never done. We were going to a whole different world where I knew only a handful of people and very little about their customs and way of life. Plus, the little I’d heard about court didn’t make me eager to go there.
Faris’s expression said he knew I was lying, but he let it go. He gave me a reassuring smile and took my small bag from me. There wasn’t much I could bring with me aside from some photos and a few books. Anything with metal in it was left here, including my guitar.
They’d even given me a Fae shirt, pants, and shoes to wear with the assurance I’d get a new wardrobe there. The clothes were made of a fine material that felt cool against my skin, but I already missed my jeans.
Lukas walked over to me, and I relaxed a bit. I didn’t want to be dependent on him for anything, but his nearness eased my anxiety.
“You ready?” He took my hand, sending a delicious shiver through me.
I smiled up at him. “Lead the way.”
Faolin stepped up and quickly created a portal. Iian, Kerr, and Conlan went through first, followed by Lukas and me. Faris and Faolin came last with Kaia. We emerged in the now familiar courtyard, and I felt a few seconds of panic when the portal to my world closed behind us.
Lukas’s warm hand squeezed mine, and he lowered his head to whisper softly, “Breathe, li’fachan.”
His use of their nickname for me reminded me I was a hunter – a good one – and I’d faced much scarier things than this. I straightened my shoulders and smiled to let him know I was okay.
I turned to get my first good look at the courtyard I’d only seen flashes of. It appeared to be built into a rock wall with two open sides protected by a stone railing. On one of the inner walls was a pair of closed doors, and on the other was an arched doorway that led to a hallway.
I tilted my head back to look up at the blue sky and gasped softly at the rock wall above us. It was black like obsidian, and it reflected the sunlight as it went on for hundreds of feet.
I opened my mouth to ask about it, but I was cut off when a faerie in a pale blue tunic with silver trim approached us and bowed to Lukas. His long dark hair hung to his waist, and his green eyes flicked to my hand in Lukas’s before he addressed Lukas in Fae. The only word I could make out was Vaerik, Lukas’s real name. Lukas replied to him in Fae. The faerie bowed again and left.
Lukas met my questioning look. “My father asked for me to go see him immediately upon my arrival. I told him I will be there after I have seen you settled into your rooms.”
“It sounds important. You should go.” I hated for him to leave, but I understood why he had to. He wasn’t just Lukas here. He was the king’s son and the crown prince of Unseelie.
Conlan spoke up. “We’ll take care of her.”
Lukas looked undecided for a moment, and then he nodded. “I’ll see you for the evening meal, if not before.” He smiled, and his thumb stroked the back of my hand. Heat pooled in my belly at the tiny gesture.
“Okay,” I managed to say.
He walked to the arched doorway with Kaia padding after him. I watched them go before I turned back to the others.
“Vaerik has many duties and responsibilities when he is at court,” Faris said, reminding me that even his closest friends used his real name here. That would take some getting used to.
“I know.” I put on a cheerful face. “Guess that means you’re stuck giving me the grand tour.”
He bowed. “It would be my honor.”
We were interrupted by the arrival of another faerie dressed in a similar outfit to the first one. He spoke to Conlan and the others in Fae, and by their tones, it sounded like they were having a disagreement. Lukas had told me the language would come to me as my magic had, but it was frustrating not to be able to understand what people were saying around me.
Faolin spoke sharply, and the new faerie backed down with a small bow. He said something and hurried away without a glance in my direction. What a welcoming bunch.
“Is there a problem?” I asked them.
Faris smiled. “There was some confusion about your quarters, but it’s been sorted out.”
“Speaking of.” Conlan took my hand and laid it on his arm. “Let us show you to your quarters. We’ll save the big tour for later.”
The six of us left the courtyard through the same door Lukas had used and walked down the hallway. The floor and walls were as smooth as marble, but they appeared to have been carved from natural rock. From the ceiling hung glass orbs containing the same crystals I’d seen in Davian’s penthouse. I knew now that they were called laevik crystals. They gave off a softer light than the electric bulbs I was used to, but they lit the place well.
Halfway down the hallway, we reached a large open space with a wall of windows that made it look like an indoor terrace. It had high ceilings hung with delicate light fixtures, tapestries on the walls, and flowered plants and trees scattered around the room. Couches, chairs, and small tables were arranged to allow for private or group conversations, and the space had an elegant yet homey feel.
Conlan steered me toward a small alcove on our left that was guarded by two male faeries, who exchanged nods with my escort. The faeries were dressed in black and wore swords and daggers on their hips. Other than their brief acknowledgement of us, they stood at attention with serious, alert expressions that sent a little shiver through me.
We stepped into the alcove that could fit maybe four people, and I faltered when the floor moved beneath my feet. Looking down, I was shocked to find the floor was a large stone disk that appeared to float.
“You can think of it as our version of an elevator,” he said. “It has no buttons or doors, and you merely have to think of what level you want to go to.”
“You don’t have stairs?” I asked.
“We do, and we normally use them unless we need to go up or down many levels.”
The floor started to descend, and I looked at the others who stood outside the alcove. “You’re not coming?”
“We’ll meet you there,” Faris said as he disappeared from view.
We didn’t go far. The lift passed one level and stopped at the one below it. We got off and walked down another wide hallway past closed doors that Conlan said were personal quarters, slowing when we came to what looked like a large indoor courtyard. There were couches and small tables and at least ten faeries alone or in small groups talking. A male servant poured a beverage into several glasses at a side table, and I recognized the white-blond hair and pointed ears of an elf.
I looked at the assembled faeries. The males wore pants and tunics or shirts. The females wore pants and tops similar to what I was wearing or flowing dresses. They were all so elegant and refined, exactly how I’d imagined faeries at court, and I felt a bit like Eliza Doolittle in her new finery.
All conversation in the courtyard stopped as everyone watched me with open curiosity. I supposed I couldn’t blame them. New faeries were rare, and I wasn’t a child like the others. The first faeries to arrive in my world had been subjected to more intense scrutiny than this.
While most of the faces wore expressions of interest, one stared at me with undisguised dislike that bordered on hostility. I thought I recognized the blonde female from somewhere, and it took me a moment to remember where I’d seen her before. She had been with Lukas and Faolin the night I’d seen them across the street in Manhattan. She hadn’t been happy to see me then either. Whatever the reason for her animosity toward me, it was her problem, not mine. I met her gaze and held it until she looked away.
“There are many communal areas like this,” Conlan said as we continued past the courtyard. “As well as larger rooms on several levels for bigger gatherings.”
We walked down another hallway and passed a male faerie who tilted his head at Conlan. It wasn’t until after he’d gone by that I recognized him as the one who’d argued with Conlan and the others about my room.
Conlan stopped at a door. “Here we are.”
I looked at the door that had no distinct markings or numbers to distinguish it from any other door we’d passed. “How do you know? They all look the same.”
“To you they appear identical, but not to the trained eye.” He pointed to the door lintel where elegant script was etched into the stone. I’d mistaken it for design, but upon closer inspection, I realized it was Fae writing.
“What does it say?” I asked him.
“It’s your name in Fae. Place your hand against the door.”
I did as he ordered, expecting to feel magic, but there was nothing. The door simply clicked and swung inward an inch. “Nice.”
“The doors are warded for the occupants. The royal guard can enter any room at court, but we only do that when it’s absolutely necessary.” He pushed the door open. “Welcome to your new home, Jesse.”
I entered the room and stopped so abruptly that he nearly collided with me. There had to be some mistake because there was no way this was mine.
The large room was bright and airy with plush couches and thick rugs covering the stone floor. The walls were decorated with colorful tapestries depicting nature scenes, and there was a doorway on one end leading to what I assumed was the bedroom. At the other end of the room was a small dining area with a table and chairs that could seat six. There was no kitchen, which meant all food was prepared elsewhere.
Directly across from me was a set of open doors showing a wide expanse of blue sky. I crossed the room and walked out onto the private balcony, eager for my first real look at Faerie.
Spread out before me was a wide, green, horseshoe-shaped valley dotted with fields and hills. On the right, the valley was bordered by a thick forest, and on the left was a row of shiny black cliffs that gave me an odd sense of déjà vu. A sparkling river wound through the valley to meet the distant cerulean ocean that stretched as far as the horizon.
“Wow,” I murmured at a loss for words. I leaned out over the stone railing to look down, and the height made me dizzy. Below was a wall of sheer black rock with balconies like mine built into it. There had to be at least thirty levels, maybe more, and that didn’t count those above me. How big was this place?
Far below in the valley, there was movement in some of the fields. Through some trees I could make out buildings and roads. A town?
I straightened and caught sight of a dark shape against the sky, miles away. It dipped and soared with the grace of an eagle, but it had to be huge to be visible from here. I squinted, trying to see it better, and caught a glint of sunlight against it. My hand flew to my mouth. It couldn’t be.
“It’s a drakkan,” Faris said from behind me.
I turned to find him, Iian, Kerr, and Conlan watching me in amusement. Faolin was nowhere to be seen.
“But it’s so big!” I spun back to the rail to watch the winged shape fly to a distant cliff where others perched. “Gus was no bigger than a cat.”
Faris came to stand beside me. “That is the normal size for drakkans. Gus was born in the human world, and the lack of Fae energy stunted his growth. He will grow to his full size here if he hasn’t already.”
I tried to imagine little Gus as big as one of these dragon-sized creatures and couldn’t. A conversation with Lukas came back to me from the night he’d seen Gus at the apartment. He’d been surprised Gus stayed there because they were fierce creatures that protected the borders of Unseelie. I’d laughed, but that was before I’d seen them here.
“Is all of this Unseelie?” I asked.
“Only a small part of it.” Faris pointed to our right. “You can only see a little of the forest from here, but it is bigger than the valley. Beyond this mountain, there are plains and more mountain ranges all within our borders.”
I looked down at the wall of rock. “The people of Unseelie live inside a mountain?”
Conlan sat on the wide rail, making my stomach lurch. “The court is in the mountain. People also live in towns and villages and family estates.”
This whole mountain was just the court? “How big is this place?”
“There are forty levels if you include the two below ground. Those are used by the servants and house the kitchens and cellars.” Conlan’s eyes gleamed. “And the cells for anyone foolish enough to commit a punishable offense.”
Despite his grin, a shiver went through me. I didn’t ask what kind of offense got you sent to a cell.
“The royal family lives on the top level,” Faris said. “We – the royal guard – live on the floor below them. After that, occupancy is based on lineage. The closer you are to the crown, the higher the level you live on, but you can freely go to any level, except for the top one.
I frowned. By lineage, he meant how blue your blood was, and mine wasn’t close to blue no matter that Lukas’s blood had been used in my conversion. “Shouldn’t I be on one of the lower levels?”
“You don’t think we’d let you live so far from us, do you?” Conlan teased. “Goddess knows what kind of havoc you’d wreak if we let you out of our sight for too long.”
Kerr snorted. “Because she’d get into no trouble with you?”
“New faeries live with a guardian,” Faris explained. “You are old enough for your own quarters, but we thought you’d want to be near us.”
“I do. Thanks.” The argument they’d had with the faerie upstairs made sense now. He must have put me on a lower level, and they’d forced him to change it.
A bell chimed inside, and Kerr went to admit a dark-haired female. Behind her came a male with his arms full of clothes. Both of them looked surprised to see Kerr and unsure of whether or not they should enter the room.
Kerr motioned for me to join them. “Jesse, this is Sereia. She is here to fit you for your new clothes.”
“Hi.” I smiled at the newcomers.
Instead of looking at me, their startled eyes went to something behind me. I was confused by their nervous expressions until Conlan and Faris appeared on either side of me. I guessed she hadn’t been expecting the crown prince’s personal guard to be here.
Sereia said something in Fae, and Faris shook his head. “Speak English only. Jesse does not yet know our language.”
She nodded and smiled demurely at me. “Welcome to Unseelie. I hope your stay here will be enjoyable.”
Her English was perfect but a little stilted, which I suspected was from lack of use. Still, it was good to know that others here could speak it. Faeries had the ability to pick up any human language after listening to it for a few minutes. I hoped the same would be true for me soon.
“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.”
Sereia glanced at the others before her gaze landed back on me. “I have brought you some garments to wear until yours are made.”
“I think this is our cue to leave.” Conlan turned to me. “We’ll come back when you’re done.”
“Okay.” I brushed off an absurd stab of panic. I was a big girl more than capable of taking care of myself. I couldn’t expect them to stay with me every minute I was here.
The moment the door closed behind them, Sereia’s timid expression vanished, and she assessed me with all the warmth of the Hudson in January. I fought back a laugh because she was about as threatening as the two Texas bounty hunters I’d had a run-in with a few months ago. If her plan was to intimidate the new girl, she had a lot to learn about New Yorkers.
“Where do we start?” I asked cheerfully.
Her delicate brow creased as she appeared to decide what to say next. “I will take your measurements and show you a selection of garments to see what fits you. We will leave some with you to wear until yours are made.”
“Sounds good.” Except for my prom dress, I’d never been fitted for clothes in my life. Violet would love this, and I wished she was here to share it with me.
Sereia turned to the blond male with her who still held the stack of clothing. “You may put those on the chair and leave us.”
He did as she instructed and left without a word. She looked at me as if she was waiting for something, and when I merely stared back, she sighed impatiently. “Undress.”
I cocked my eyebrows at her. I had no idea why she was copping an attitude, but I wasn’t going to take it.
“Please,” she added, looking like she’d tasted something sour.
“Of course.” I stripped down to my underwear, and she made short work of taking my measurements. I would have appreciated her efficiency if she hadn’t tsked over my frame, which wasn’t as tall and willowy as all other female faeries, or made a sound of disapproval when she saw the freckles on my shoulders.
When she was done, she went to the pile of clothes and chose a pair of pants and a top, which she held out to me with a satisfied little smile. I knew the reason for her smile when I saw the linen-colored pants and pastel lilac top. The pants were fine, but most pastels clashed horribly with my red hair and made my skin look washed out.
I accepted the pants and refused the top. “I’d like a different color.”
Sereia’s mouth turned down as she selected another top. This time it was a tangerine one that would have looked amazing on her. Me, not so much.
“Do you have something blue or green?” I peered around her at the pile of clothes, seeing nothing but more pastels.
“No,” she replied a little too gleefully.
I walked over to the clothes and picked through them, ignoring her indignant huff. She hadn’t brought much of a color selection, and I was certain that had been on purpose. I found one white top that looked like it might fit me and slipped it over my head. It had clearly been made for a taller female, but it didn’t look bad.
The pants were a different matter. When I donned the pair she’d given me, I discovered they were a size too small, and they bunched up at my ankles. Every pair I tried was the same. I gave up after the sixth pair and pulled on the pants I’d worn here. They were the perfect length and size, which meant Lukas had ordered them specifically for me.
“I’ll have to wear these until more can be made,” I said, earning an appalled look from her.
“You cannot wear the same clothes two days in a row.”
I shrugged. “Better than my pants bursting open in public, don’t you think?”
Her lips thinned even more. “This is not your human world. It is unseemly to wear the same clothes for more than a day. It’s also custom for us to change our outfits for the evening hours.”
The bell chimed. Sereia moved before I could and went to answer the door. A male elf entered carrying a tray covered with a white cloth, which he set on a small table. When Sereia motioned for him to leave, he looked at me.
“Prince Vaerik requested a midday meal for you,” the elf said timidly in English that was more stilted than Sereia’s.
“Thank you.” Warmth filled my chest. Lukas might be too busy to be here in person, but he was thinking of me.
The male left, and I walked over to see what he’d brought. There was a thick soup with colorful vegetables, some bread and cheese, a bowl of mixed berries, and a small carafe of juice. The soup’s aroma hit me, and I was suddenly ravenous. After my portal debacle, lunch had been forgotten in the rush to prepare for the trip to Faerie.
A sound reminded me Sereia was still in the room. I looked over to where she was gathering up the clothes she’d brought. I went to help her, but she waved me off.
“I will return in two days with several outfits, and you can decide on the rest of your wardrobe then,” she said stiffly. “You will have to stay in your quarters until your new clothes arrive.”
I had no intention of staying cooped up here until she got around to making my clothes. Based on our short acquaintance, I wouldn’t put it past her to take her sweet time. I didn’t tell her that though because I wanted her to leave and let me enjoy my lunch.
As soon as she left, I exhaled loudly in relief and carried the tray out to the small table on the balcony. The food was delicious, especially the berries. I’d had some of them before, but there was one kind I’d never tried. They resembled red currants and tasted like a hybrid of mint and cherries. If I hadn’t filled up on soup and bread, I would have devoured them all.
After my meal, I wandered around my room – or rooms. There was the main living area, a large bedroom with another view of the valley, and a bathroom with a sunken tub. I loved baths, but they were a rare luxury when you shared a single bathroom with your parents. I had a feeling I was going to get a lot of use from this one.
An hour later, I was bored, and it hit me that I didn’t know how to find or contact Lukas or the others. There were no phones in Faerie. I was sure they must use some form of communication, but I hadn’t thought to ask.
I was on the balcony passing time by watching drakkans on the distant cliffs when I felt some discomfort in my stomach. I ignored it at first until a small cramp hit me, followed by a bout of nausea. I put a hand to my stomach. This is what I got for eating too much of the rich Fae food at once.
I sat at the table, hoping it would pass soon. It would be just my luck to get a tummy ache on my first day here and when Lukas had promised to have dinner with me.
A stronger cramp knotted my stomach, and I thought I was prepared for the nausea that would follow. I wasn’t. I doubled over, clutching the edge of the table for support. By the time it passed, my face was damp with a sheen of sweat, and I was shivering despite the heat of the day.
Needing to lie down, I went inside and got to the couch before the next cramp struck. I moaned and curled into a fetal position as knives stabbed my gut. The pain had barely subsided when my stomach roiled violently, and I threw up all over myself and the couch.
I struggled to sit up and get away from the foul smell of puke that made me want to retch again. I made it to a sitting position in time to throw up down the front of my once-white top. Hot tears poured down my cheeks as I slid off the couch to my hands and knees and crawled toward the bathroom.
My whole body seized with the next cramp, and I curled up on the floor, gasping. I barely had time to recover before another one came. “Oh, God,” I moaned. I had survived being shot and a conversion, and now I was going to die here in a pool of my own vomit.