Charlotte found her way to the kitchen, hoping for a cup of steaming tea to face what was left of the day.
“Hey there.” Melba looked up from feeding Maria. “They prayed for both you and Jesse at service this morning. Feeling better?”
Charlotte walked over to the sink and began filling the kettle. Did she even have a teakettle at the cottage anymore? What kind of person has a life that destroys two teakettles in so short a time? “Not really. Less exhausted, but now I feel like I have twice as many thoughts slamming through my head.” She sat down at the table opposite Melba and Maria. They looked so peaceful and happy.
“You’ll be okay, Charlotte. You know that, don’t you?”
She ran her hands through her hair. Even with a long hot shower, Charlotte felt as though she still smelled of smoke. “It’s a little hard to see today.”
“Maybe today’s not a good judge of everything. Clark says it takes two days for the shock to wear off, longer for some people.” She looked at Charlotte with such warmth in her eyes. “You can stay here for as long as you need to. Really.”
Charlotte knew she meant it, but Melba and Clark had played host to her long enough. She didn’t want to stay any longer than absolutely necessary. They deserved to be a family on their own again. “Thanks. I know I need a few days to get my feet underneath me, but I’ve still got my place in Chicago.”
That wiped the warmth from Melba’s eyes. “I hate the thought of you being back there. I hate the idea of you going to Vermont even more. I know it’s selfish of me, but I really feel like you belong here. Even with everything that’s happened.”
Charlotte didn’t have an answer. Her brain felt far too clouded to think. She was grateful the kettle’s whistle gave her something to fill the silence.
Melba settled Maria on her shoulder and began patting the baby’s back to burp her. “You want to tell me what happened with Jesse last night? And don’t say nothing, because it’s all over both of your faces, not to mention what Clark told me last night.”
Turning to her friend, Charlotte asked, “What did Clark tell you?”
“That Jesse went crazy with worry when the call came and they realized it was your cottage. That he ignored the doctor’s orders and walked to the scene because Clark had already left. That he was frantic to know you were okay, and it was all the guys could do to keep him from trying to help.”
Mo, who had thankfully made fast friends with Melba’s cat, Pinocchio, darted into the room to weave his way around Charlotte’s legs as she set the tea to steeping.
“And that he hobbled around the neighborhood calling for Mo when no one was found in the house.” Melba stood up and walked over to Charlotte. “That man has it bad for you. And you have it bad for him.”
“It’s just that after the display at the talent show, and all he said about not wanting to get serious with any one woman—well, he didn’t come right out and say that, but it wasn’t hard to guess—I didn’t know if I could trust his charm. I don’t want to be dazzled.”
“But he’s gotten to you, and he cares about you—a lot, obviously. I know it’s not perfect, but do you really want to walk away from that?”
“And he’s a firefighter. I know that’s okay for you, but—”
“And then there’s the whole faith thing, and that’s big, too—especially now that he’s made the first steps, from what I’ve heard.”
“That’s just it. Those things are sort of working themselves out. And for the first part...what he told me, the way he treated me last night at the fire, you can’t fake that. His heart is true, I know that now. Only, is that really enough?” She told Melba the entire story of Jesse’s night, how he’d come to terms with the God she knew had been pursuing him since the night of the talent show. “It wasn’t really God Jesse was resisting, it was his preconceptions of church and judgment. His father’s been putting him down for years. That made it hard for him to grasp a Father who loves unconditionally, you know?” She remembered him holding her in the destroyed kitchen, singing a gospel song she’d never heard before but now felt engraved on her heart. What could be a deeper truth than that? “He has such a huge heart, Melba. It’s been aching for grace for so long.”
Melba started to get mugs down from the cabinet, only to stop and look straight at Charlotte. “Do you think you’re in love with him?”
Charlotte leaned against the counter, squinting her eyes shut for a moment. “Shouldn’t I know if I’m in love with him?”
“I think it slams some people clearly like that, but I think more often it is something that slowly takes shape. Like knitting with a striped yarn—sometimes you don’t see what it really looks like until you get further along.”
“The attraction is certainly there.” Charlotte thought of the head-spinning serenade that had made it hard to breathe back at the talent show. “The man knows how to sweep me off my feet, Melba, but just because he can doesn’t make him the right man for me.” She poured the tea into the pair of mugs Melba set on the counter. “You know how impulsive I am. Vermont was going to give me the space to think about this. Maybe it still should.”
“Are you running to or running from?”
“What?”
“It’s something Clark always says. About jogging or even guys at a fire. People rarely get hurt running to something, but they often injure themselves running from something. If you go to Vermont, are you running to what could be a good job or running away from what could be a good man?”
Melba had managed to boil the whole storm of Charlotte’s thoughts down to one piercing question. Was she really enthused about Borroughs’s offer, or was it just an escape from facing the scary prospect of loving a man who risked his life for others? “I don’t know. I don’t even know how to figure it out.”
“Maybe that’s why you ought to talk to Abby Reed this afternoon. She’s coming by in an hour if you’re feeling up to it.”
“Abby?” Abby had a reputation as a notorious matchmaker. If she’d taken Jesse on as her newest project, Charlotte didn’t see how she’d lend any clarity to the situation. “What’s she got to do with any of this?”
Melba’s smile was sweet but a little secretive. “I think you’d better hear that from Abby herself. I’m going to go put Maria down for her nap. Why don’t you go sit on the deck and just relax for a while. It’s a beautiful day, and you need all the doses of fresh air you can get.”
The next thing Charlotte knew, someone was gently tapping her on the shoulder as she lay slouched in one of Melba’s back deck lounge chairs. She forced her eyes open. “I must have dozed off.”
“I’ll bet you needed a nap.” Abby Reed sat down on the chair opposite Charlotte, a kind smile on her face and a bag of chocolate-covered caramels in her hands. “I know chocolate doesn’t make everything better, but it makes most things better.”
Charlotte sat up and accepted the bag, reaching in for one of the sweets. “I guess it pays to be good friends with the candy lady.”
“Jeannie wants to help in any way she can. She’s been through a fire, too, you know. She lost everything a while back, and she knows how it can pull the rug out from underneath you.”
“I keep trying to remember I haven’t lost everything, but it still feels like I have. There’s soot over everything.” She smoothed her hair out, thinking she probably looked like a mess today. “The fire was my fault, you know—food that I left in the oven and forgot about. I’ve made such a mess of things with my own stupidity. I used to think of myself as such a clever person.”
“You’re still a clever person. You’re just a clever person in a tight spot. We’ve all been there. Gordon Falls is full of people who are great helps in tight spots.”
Charlotte knew that. She could feel the pull of Gordon Falls’s tight-knit community calling to her even before her house filled with smoke. “I’m not going to end up with a refrigerator full of church-lady casseroles, am I?” She winced. “I don’t think I even have a working fridge anymore, much less a stove to heat them in.”
Abby laughed. “You might. GFCC is good at crisis management with food. It’s a universal church thing, I think. Jeannie will tell you one of the blessings of a crisis is all the help that comes to your side. I know it may not feel like it this morning, but I’m sure you’ll come out of this fine.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Then I’d have another caramel if I were you.”
No one had to twist Charlotte’s arm. When the delicious, sticky confection allowed her to talk again, she prompted, “Melba said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Abby settled her hands on her lap. “I’ve had an idea for a while now, and before last night I was going to wait until the fall. Now I think I shouldn’t wait. Charlotte, I’d like to ask you to consider running a new shop for me. I want to expand the store to open a full yarn and fabric shop in the space next to mine. I’m looking to knock the wall out between the stores and create two connected spaces—one dedicated to gifts and art, the other for crafting. Only I can’t run the both of them—really, I don’t want to. When Ben finally moves out, I don’t want to spend my newly earned free time behind a cash register or in a stock room.”
Charlotte’s brain struggled to comprehend what she was hearing. “You want me to work for you? Open up a yarn shop next to your store?”
“I’d thought of it more as a partnership, but that was further down the road. I figure that’s a bit much to take on right now. I’d mentioned it to Melba a while ago—just as an inkling I’d had when you first said something about job hunting at the knitting group—but when she told at church this morning that you were considering going to New Hampshire or wherever it was, I had a long talk with God about whether I might need to speed up my time frame.”
“Vermont,” Charlotte clarified, and then thought that was a stupid thing to say. She blinked and ran her hands down her face, reaching for a focus that she couldn’t quite attain. “Not that it matters.” She straightened up, planting her feet on the ground as if that would help. “You’re serious? You’re offering me a job? Here?”
“There are probably lots of details to iron out, but yes. I want you to know you have an option to stay here if you want to. I’m not at all sure I can match whatever you were making at Monarch, but—”
“I want to stay here,” Charlotte cut in. She blinked again. “I don’t think I even realized how much until just this moment. I don’t want to go to Vermont.” She held Abby’s gaze, feeling a bit dizzy. “Thank you. I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Abby’s smile told Charlotte this was no pity offer, this was God at work, moving things to His perfect timing. “I’m sure, too. After all, we both know you are a very clever person.”
Charlotte was sitting on his front steps by the time George pulled into Jesse’s driveway. Jesse was glad to see a little more of the old Charlotte back in her eyes. That smile did more for him than all those painkillers.
“Well now, look who’s waiting to take over nurse duties,” George teased as he pulled the crutches out of his backseat while Jesse opened the passenger door. “Toss me your keys, son, and I’ll get your front door open while you say hello to the lady.”
Charlotte ran a hand down Jesse’s cheek, and he felt his whole body settle at her touch. “Hello, you.”
He leaned up and gave her a small but soft kiss to her cheek. She smelled just-showered; clean and flowery. It was like fresh air compared to the disinfectant-soaked doctors’ rooms. “Hello to you, too.” He stood up and tilted his head close to hers, closing his eyes and stealing another breath. “You smell amazing, do you know that?”
He felt her smile against his cheek. “Flattery just might get you better nursing care.” She pulled away to eye him. “How’d it go?”
He’d have to tell her sometime, might as well get it over with on the front sidewalk. “Not well.”
Alarm darkened her features. “What do you mean?”
He started making his way carefully to the front door. “I messed my leg up pretty badly. I’m going to need surgery. I have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at some cruel hour.” He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but her eyes told him he hadn’t been successful. George’s “prayer warriors,” as he called them, hadn’t won this particular battle.
“Surgery? Oh, Jesse.”
Somehow the worry in her voice just made it worse. Weren’t church people supposed to get happy endings from God? His twenty-four-hour venture into faith wasn’t going very well, even though George had spouted some platitudes about God still being in control. “I’m more of a Motown guy than a heavy-metal one, but it seems I’m going to get chrome-plated tomorrow. I get fifteen whole hours at home before I have to report for surgery.” The further he got into his explanation, the less it seemed worth the effort to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
“I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you wanted.” She hugged her arms. “You should never have stayed out there waiting for me.”
He stopped, nearly losing one crutch in his effort to grab her elbow. “I don’t regret it. Don’t you think that for a second, Charlotte. I’m just mad I didn’t get a clean getaway, that’s all.”
“You’re going to be okay,” she offered, even though she had no way of knowing that was true.
He simply nodded, not having a good comeback for that one.
Once they got him settled on his couch, George ticked off a list of instructions to Charlotte and bid goodbye with a promise to visit Jesse tomorrow at the hospital. “Make sure he calls his folks,” George ordered on his way out the door.
Charlotte pulled an ottoman up to the couch. “Want me to get your cell phone?”
“No.” He took her hand, pulling her in for another gentle kiss. “Not yet. How are you? Did you go back over there?”
She smiled and brushed the hair off his forehead. Her fingers were gentle and soothing. He wanted those hands nearby when he woke up from surgery tomorrow. He wanted those hands nearby every waking moment. With a sort of slow-motion burst of light, he realized he loved her. Exclusively her, absolutely her.
“No. I slept most of the morning, and then Abby Reed came over to talk to me.” Something bright danced in the corners of her eyes.
“That’s nice.” That struck him as a dumb response. “What’d she say?”
Charlotte took his hand in hers. It was much easier to push the pain out of his thoughts when she was near. “She offered me a job, Jesse. Evidently she’s been thinking about expanding her business into a full-fledged yarn shop next door, but hadn’t planned on doing it until the fall. When Melba told her this morning I was looking at a job in Vermont, Abby decided maybe it was time to speed up her time frame.”
Jesse wished the pain medicine didn’t sludge up his thinking so much. “A job? Here?”
The brightness in her eyes now lit up her whole face. “A job. Right here. We’re still working out all the details but I think it’s going to be perfect. I’ve always wanted to run a yarn shop—it’s almost what I did with Mima’s money. Now I can learn, only as part of another business and with a partner.”
“Me?”
She laughed and slid off the ottoman to bring her face close to his. “No, silly, Abby. You’d be terrible as a yarn salesman.”
He kissed her again, needing her close. “Nah, I’d be great.” He reached up to touch her cheek. “You’re staying.”
She nodded. “I think so.”
Maybe George’s prayer army had pulled off getting him what he truly needed after all. “What about...us?” He didn’t think he could stand the thought of her being in Gordon Falls and not being with him. As he looked into her eyes, Jesse realized, with a crystal-clear shock of certainty, that he’d do whatever it took to be with her. Whatever it took. “I need us to be...us.” He knew he wasn’t being eloquent by a long shot, but the look in her eyes told him she understood. “Tell me what you need for that to happen.” He’d never in his life placed someone else ahead of his own interests, never laid his own plans at the feet of someone else’s needs. A fire rescue was one thing, but his whole life? How did that work? He was pretty sure faith was what made such a thing possible. Clark had said it before—even Charlotte had talked about it—but he’d never really believed it before now.
Jesse wanted to see certainty in her eyes, but saw honesty instead. She settled in against him, sitting on the floor and laying her head on his chest. “I don’t know. At least not yet. I’ve got a lot of...baggage...in that department and I’m not sure how easy it will be to lay that all down.”
“I’d leave it. The firehouse, I mean.” He didn’t even know that until it leaped from his mouth. He waited for the regret to come, but it didn’t arrive. “It’d be hard, but I would.”
A tender pain filled her face. “I don’t want it to come to that. It’s so much of who you are. I don’t know what the answer is, but I have to think there is one out there.”
For the first time, waiting didn’t feel like procrastination. “We’ve got some time here. I’ll be off duty for a while after the surgery.” He grinned. “Look at me, all silver lining and stuff. Maybe God really is always right on time. This is going to take some getting used to. I’ve got authority issues.”
Charlotte laughed, and Jesse felt the hum of it against his chest settle somewhere deep inside. “I’ve noticed.” After a long spell of staring into his eyes, she ran one finger across his stubbled chin and whispered, “I love you. I don’t know when it happened, but I’m glad it did.”
The glow in his chest had nothing to do with any prescription. “I know when for me. I mean, I didn’t at the time, but looking back, I know exactly the moment.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “Berry cobbler.” Just remembering the moment doubled the glow under his ribs.
“Then?”
“The face you made when you dug into it? A man can only take so much. I lost it right then and there. I didn’t know it yet, but that was the end of it.”
Her face flushed. “So that’s why that kiss pulled the rug out from underneath me.”
It had yanked him way off balance, too. “I didn’t work it out, though, until the fire. I figured it was just a great kiss...until I thought maybe you were in that cottage. When that call came and I didn’t know if you were safe... And then later when I thought about you driving back all that way all alone...”
She lay her hand across his chest, and he felt the warmth of her palm against his heartbeat. “Maybe that’s what it took for both of us. All the stuff we thought we needed—lots of it is gone right now. Maybe that leaves more room for the stuff that really matters.”
It was so clear, right then, what really mattered. He slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “I love you. We’ll work it out. Right here.”
“On this couch?” Her laugh was soft and velvety against his cheek.
“It’s a good place to start.”
If he’d thought the kiss over the cobbler sealed his fate, he was dead wrong. The kiss she gave him now beat that one by a mile.