“Vermont?” Melba looked as shocked as Charlotte had expected her to be.
“Well, just part of the time. Or all of the time if I want it, and the company and I can come to an agreement.” They were having a spontaneous post-church picnic on a blanket in Melba’s backyard, watching Maria kick and wiggle.
“Vermont?” Melba said again. “And you’re actually considering it?”
“I was laid off a month ago today. I’ve been putting out feelers every day since then, and all I’ve got to show for it is a few phone interviews that made me feel inept and a stack of carefully worded deflections.” Maybe it wasn’t such a smart idea to have kept how badly the job search was going from Melba all this time. “There aren’t as many jobs out there as I thought there were. Monarch’s not the only company feeling the pinch.”
“But you’re here. You want to be here.” Melba scooped up Maria as if to shield her from the news. “Don’t you?”
Charlotte sighed. “Of course I do. But I need a job, and there don’t seem to be any jobs for me here.” It was the first time she’d spoken that truth out loud, and it let loose the growing tendril of fear in the pit of her stomach she’d been trying so hard to ignore. She’d been so sure of her path up until now. So convinced God had led her straight to Gordon Falls.
So sure she never wanted to be attached to someone like Jesse Sykes.
Melba settled Maria into her lap and furrowed her brows. “Did your mom finally get to you?”
Charlotte’s mom, usually supportive, had lately begun to express concerns about Charlotte buying the cottage and sinking so much of her inheritance into the renovations. She hadn’t said anything during the sale and the first days, but telling comments had started sneaking their way into conversations. A doubt here, a question there, a disapproving silence after renovation updates on the phone. The unspoken current of “and you still don’t have a new job” ran constantly under every conversation. “Let’s just say she hasn’t been enthusiastic in her support.”
Normally she didn’t let her mother get to her that way, but the undeniable truth was that Charlotte was starting to worry about it herself. The gorgeous high-end kitchen faucet that cost twice as much as the standard—was that really what she needed? The armoire from the antiques store—was that really “the most darling thing she’d ever seen” or had it seemed that way because she’d gotten two rejections that day? The credit card bill had come last night, and it hadn’t been pretty. Sure, she had the funds for now, but she couldn’t—shouldn’t—keep up the spending like this. Things were starting to come unraveled around the edges; she knew it on some level, just didn’t know what to do about it.
“Don’t let her get to you, Charlotte. You love that house. You belong in that house.”
That was still true. Charlotte leaned back on her elbows, admiring the emerald-green of the leaves as they fluttered in the breeze overhead. It was so wonderfully green here. Everything seemed to be thriving—well, everything except her. “I didn’t say I was going to sell the house. I just may not get to live here for a while.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ll still finish the renovations, but I might have to rent it out for a while.”
Melba twirled a leaf over Maria’s head, watching how her eyes followed the shapes and colors. “I can’t imagine anyone in that house but you. You can’t rent it to just anyone.”
“Actually,” Charlotte said carefully, keeping her voice as neutral as possible, “I was thinking of asking Jesse if he wanted to rent it. I know he just lives in an apartment now and it might make it easier to finish the renovations.”
“Yes.” Melba raised her eyebrows. “Let’s talk about Jesse. About what’s going on between you two. You could have lit half the valley on the sparks flying between you two at the talent show last night.”
“He’s a showman.”
“Yes, he is. But while he sang to some other people, it was a whole different thing when he sang to you. And you still haven’t told me about Friday’s dinner in your kitchen. I want to hear it all—everything from dinner to why you disappeared after the talent show.”
Bit by bit, Charlotte unfolded the entire story of dinner at the cottage. It felt useful to put the thing into words, to try and describe—if she couldn’t hope to explain—what had sprung up between her and Jesse. Melba’s response was an unlikely mix of surprise and “I told you so.” She, of all people, could understand the pile of conflict mounting in Charlotte’s heart.
“Wow,” she said when Charlotte finished her tale and fell flat on her back on the blanket. “I mean, really, wow. This is a side of Jesse I don’t think anyone’s ever seen. He’s mostly just a goofball around the firehouse, but it seems the man is an insufferable romantic.”
Charlotte put her hands over her eyes, the vision of Jesse’s magnetic gaze heating her cheeks all over again. “So what if he is? That doesn’t mean he’s capable of—or even looking for—commitment. Come on, your own husband called him ‘an insufferable bachelor.’ I don’t want to be just another member of the Jesse Sykes fan club.”
“I’m sure you can tell the difference.”
“No, I can’t. Not yet,” Charlotte admitted, rolling onto her stomach to bury her face in the blanket. “I was defenseless when he sang to me in my kitchen, too. ‘You Send Me’ while he made the Alfredo sauce.”
“The Sam Cooke song? I think I’d melt right into the Alfredo.”
“I’m pretty sure I did. And the kiss...” She rolled back over and draped her hand over her face dramatically. “Glory, but that man can kiss. I was a goner. If it hadn’t been for Mo, I’d have been in serious trouble. I am in serious trouble.” She sat up. “That’s what makes it so hard—I can’t tell what’s genuine. If he was just a guy on the make, I don’t think he would have backed off when I asked him to in my kitchen. There’s really something there. But you saw what he did to those other women in the audience. I don’t know what’s real. I’m not even sure he knows.”
“I don’t, either, but I’m pretty sure moving to Vermont isn’t the answer.”
“But it could be. I’ve lost my job and Mima. I’m not in a good place to think smart right now.”
“Have you talked to him about any of this?”
“We were going to talk at dinner tonight, but he called me earlier and said he got pulled onto duty and we have to postpone. What if some time and distance is exactly what I need? The cottage will still be here in a year, and I’ll be stronger.”
“And Jesse? What if he’s not here?”
That would be okay, wouldn’t it? That would mean God had helped her shut a door she wasn’t strong enough to shut on her own. That was what she’d prayed for, what she’d come to understand as the opportunity this Vermont job offer presented. Only if that were true, where was that sense of assurance, that ability to leap forward that had always been her strength? “Then I’ll know it wasn’t supposed to work out.”
Melba gave her a doubtful stare. “You need to talk to him, Charlotte. You need to tell him in person that you’re thinking about the Vermont offer. You need to ask him outright what’s going on between the two of you.”
“I know. I know. We’ll have dinner tomorrow and I’ll do it then.”