I put the bag into a dumpster behind a convenience store five blocks away and kept walking. Walter didn’t bother me for a while. Maybe it was the evening heat? Or the vehicles rumbling by as I shuffled along to Toni’s place. The tires on asphalt, roaring engines, and rattling axles left little space for ghosts, but the noise managed to set off a thunderous headache.
It took me a little under an hour to reach Toni’s, by which time the sun was a low red crescent just peeking above the horizon between the apartment buildings. I was sweating and tired, wrecked by the booze and drugs of the previous twenty-four hours, maybe straining under the weight of guilt too.
When I knocked, I heard muffled words spoken in irritation. Toni opened the kitchen door and looked at me like a hair in her soup.
“Peyton, you can’t just show up here.”
“Hey, Peyton,” Jack said, emerging from within.
“You look like shit,” Toni went on. “Skye isn’t even here. She’s at Laura’s on a sleepover. Jack and I are having a date night.”
I felt queasy.
“We’re celebrating the good news.”
I was clueless.
“I left you a message, Peyton,” she said.
I pulled out my phone, and sure enough there was a missed call. Three in fact.
“Skye’s results came back,” Toni explained. “It’s not diabetes.” She beamed happy. “It’s some bacterial kidney infection. The doc’s given her the right antibiotics. She’s going to be okay.”
“What the fuck!” I blurted out.
One of the reasons I’d turned murderer was to provide my kid with security. Money for her long-term health. Now she just needed a few days on antibiotics. It wasn’t my only rationale, but it had been a big one and it had just been knocked away, leaving me off-balance. I took a deep breath and tried to hide my confusion.
“You’re supposed to be happy, Peyton,” Toni said. “Jeez.”
“I am happy,” I assured her. “It’s just a shock is all. I’m so relieved.”
I really was glad Skye was going to be fine, but my words came out half-hearted.
He was still bad, though, I told myself. All the other good reasons to kill him stand.
“I’m happy,” I said with more conviction. “I’m so happy for her, but I didn’t come here to see Skye. I came to see you.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a hundred and twenty C-notes. “Twelve grand. Everything I owe you.”
Toni’s eyes widened as she looked down at the money.
“Those look crisp. You rob a bank, dude?” Jack scoffed.
I wanted to grab the guy and throw him out. I wanted Toni and me to have a date night. I wanted to be the one to take off her dress, to wake up with her in the morning. I wanted her to love me again.
“It’s thirteen thousand, Peyton,” she said. “You missed the last two months.”
I closed my eyes, sighed, and shook my head. Such a deadbeat.
“Of course. I forgot. I’ll get it to you,” I told her.
“Where did you get this from?” she asked.
“Back pay,” I lied. “I was due some money from the army that got held up when I was inside.”
Keep it vague, I told myself. It sounds more plausible that way.
“I thought you’d prefer cash.”
Her eyes were full of questions, but she just kept shifting them between me and the money and didn’t say anything. Desperate people do desperate things, accept desperate lies.
“Things are gonna be different now,” I told her. “I’m gonna help you look after Skye properly. Put her through college.”
Jack yawned like a lazy lion and put his arm around Toni’s shoulder.
“That’s great, man,” he said, flashing a smile. “That’s really great.”
“Thanks, Peyton.” Toni pressed her hand against my arm. It was a tenderness I hadn’t felt from her for a very long time. “I appreciate it. I know Skye will too.”
“We should open a couple of beers,” Jack said. “To celebrate.”
For a moment I thought he was talking to me, but his eyes were on Toni, and they both looked at me awkwardly.
“Right. Of course.” I backed away. “Date night.”
I turned and headed for the broken gate, jealous of the celebration that lay ahead. My blood money would ensure Jack Harper had a great evening.