“You need to calm down.” Damien gripped me by both shoulders and forced me into the armchair in my bedroom. “It’s done. No going back.”
I slapped his hands away. “Don’t tell me to calm down.” Tears poured down my face and soaked my cheeks. “How could you let him do this? I’d rather live with Maddox for the rest of my life than let Hades sacrifice himself for me.”
“Well, he wouldn’t.” He kneeled in front of me, his head slightly bent. His hair was messy, as if he’d fingered it all night long. His eyes were full of moisture, as if he were holding back tears. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me too, but this is what he wanted.”
Watching Damien break down only made me feel worse. We’d both lost someone we loved. My chest heaved as I sobbed my heart out. “I’d rather be raped by Maddox a million times than let Hades die for me.”
Damien pulled out a full syringe from his pocket. “I think you should take this.”
I was in so much agony that I was tempted. I wanted to forget what had just happened; I wanted to forget watching Hades stand there as we drove away. Instead of being happy that I was home, I couldn’t appreciate it at all.
Because Hades wasn’t home.
“How could you let him do this?” I wiped my tears away with my fingertips. “How could you let him die for me?”
Damien bowed his head for a moment. “It was his decision. He couldn’t live with himself, knowing what was happening to you. I tried to take his place, but he wouldn’t let me.”
“So, we do nothing?” I asked. “We just let him…”
“It’s what he wanted.”
“But what kind of life could I have without him?” Fresh tears fell down my cheeks.
“You can live a happy life, because that’s what he wanted.”
I eyed the syringe, but I decided not to take it. Hades had had to suffer constantly while I was away. He didn’t take drugs to erase his pain. Neither would I. “Did Maddox say he would kill him?”
“Didn’t specify.”
“Then why did you drive away? Why did you leave him alone?”
“Because that was what he wanted.”
“Do you think there’s a chance he could be alive?” I knew how unlikely that was, but I couldn’t stop myself from hoping, from believing. I wanted to believe there was a chance we would make it back to each other.
His response was a whisper. “I don’t know.”
“Could you drive back in the morning…just to check?”
Damien wouldn’t dare deny me. “Of course.”
When there was nothing left to say, we sat there in silence, both thinking about the man who meant so much to us. He was probably being tortured as we spoke, and that made me sick to my stomach.
“Ash is here.”
“He is?” I asked.
Damien nodded. “Do you want to see him?”
Under normal circumstances, of course, but right now, I didn’t want to see anybody. I was traumatized by what had happened, heartbroken by what I’d lost. It would be impossible to carry on a coherent conversation. “No.”
“Alright.” He rose to his feet and dug his hand into his pocket. When he pulled his palm out, he opened his fingers and revealed the black wedding ring Hades had worn every day since we got married. “He wanted me to give this to you…”
I gripped it in my shaky fingers and started to sob harder.
Hades knew he wasn’t coming back.
I closed my fingers around it and squeezed. “Give me the syringe.”