I stayed at his bedside day and night.
Most of the time, he wasn’t awake. The drugs made him drift off to sleep, which was a good thing because he needed to rest. I sat by his side, putting new flowers in the room and helping him eat his meals. I didn’t look at him differently in his weakened state.
And he didn’t look at me differently either.
After a week had come and gone, the doctors said he could leave soon.
“You must be excited to go home.” When I sat at his bedside, I always held his hand. Our fingers were locked together like a couple madly in love.
“I’m just excited to get out of bed.”
“Well, don’t expect to start running around again. You’re going to be in bed at home too.”
He rolled his eyes playfully. “Okay, nurse.”
“I’m not a nurse. I’m your wife.”
He squeezed my hand gently. “That’s a lot sexier anyway.”
I continued to hold his hand and stare at his face. His once perfect features were marred by bruises and discoloration. He’d had a skull fracture that needed to be repaired, so they’d had to shave his head. His hair had never been long, but he looked different with the shorter strands. Staying in bed caused him to get smaller because he wasn’t working out anymore, so his body was slowly changing.
But he was my husband all the same.
Ash stepped inside the hospital room. “Smells like a funeral in here.” He approached the bedside wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and black jeans. With his hands in his pockets, he approached the bed and looked down at his brother. “I’m looking for Hades Lombardi… I must be in the wrong room.”
Hades gave him a cold look. “Shut the hell up, asshole.”
“Oh wait, that is you!” he said with a slight laugh. “You sound like a whiny bitch, just like my little brother.”
This time, Hades couldn’t slow the smile that slid across his lips.
Ash’s smile faded away as he looked at his brother seriously. “You look like you’re in good shape.”
“It could be worse,” Hades said. “But thanks for visiting on my last day here. That was convenient.”
“You have a wife for that,” Ash said. “I know you didn’t want to see my ugly face.”
“You’re right,” Hades said. “You do have an ugly face.”
Ash turned to me next. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”
“I’m just happy he’s okay.” I brought his hand to my lips and rested it there.
Ash stared at me for a moment before he turned back to his brother. “So, you’re going to be home tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan,” Hades answered.
“Does that mean I should move out? It’s nice getting free meals from Helena and pleasant conversations with your mother-in-law.” Ash stared down at his brother, slight playfulness in his eyes.
“No, you should stick around.” Hades squeezed my hand. “Thanks for taking care of my wife while I’ve been out of commission.”
“Oh, I’ve been taking care of her.” Ash winked.
“I can get out of this bed and kick your ass,” Hades threatened.
“Maybe if I let you,” Ash said with a laugh.
Now that Ash had dropped their feud, I realized how lighthearted they could be. They were like any other brothers who teased each other all the time. It was nice to make a few jokes when things were so somber.
Ash turned serious. “Is there anything I can get you? Anything I can do?”
“No, man,” Hades said. “You’ve done enough.”
“Alright. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ash reached down and shook his brother’s hand. “Only a real badass could’ve survived something like that. Hades, you’re definitely a badass.”
After being discharged by the doctor, Hades was free to go.
We gathered his medications, and instead of taking a wheelchair, he insisted on walking out on his own two feet. He disregarded the pain because he was so damn stubborn. He’d rather prove that nothing had changed even though he’d survived a traumatic experience.
Instead of nagging at him, I let him do whatever he wanted.
We returned to the house, and the stairs really slowed him down. He gripped the rail as he ascended to the second floor. Taking his time, he moved like a snail, and when he reached the top, he looked winded.
I wanted to help him, but he was too large for me to assist. “Stay here for a second.”
He was clearly in pain because all he did was give a slight nod.
I went up to the third floor and knocked on Ash’s door.
He opened it, wearing jeans and a t-shirt like he was about to go out. “Is the asshole home yet?”
“He’s on the second floor… He’s having a hard time.”
Ash narrowed his eyes slightly, understanding my unspoken words immediately. He shut the door behind him and headed down the stairs to the second floor.
Hades stood there, still tall and proud. No injury would make him weak. Maybe he was stubborn…or maybe he just had too much pride.
When Ash reached the bottom of the stairs, he didn’t make a smartass comment or put down his brother in any way. He grabbed his arm and threw it over his shoulder. “Let me give you a lift.”
When Hades didn’t reject the offer, it was clear he really needed help.
Together, the men made it to the third floor, and Ash escorted his brother into our bedroom.
When Hades was inside, he kicked off his shoes and took a seat in the armchair. He breathed slightly heavily, swallowing the exertion. He rubbed his hands together and bowed his head, as if to hide his visage.
I turned to Ash. “Thanks for the help.”
“I’m always here.” He didn’t make any jokes like he normally would have. He turned away to give his brother privacy.
I shut the door and turned back to Hades. I watched him continue to sit there, his head bent toward the floor. He rubbed one knuckle absentmindedly, as if he was thinking about something else. The bedroom was clean, with fresh sheets and new flowers, something to make him feel at home. “Must be nice to be back, huh?”
He nodded slightly before he rose to his feet. He moved much slower than before, as if all of his muscles resisted the command. Once he was standing straight, he inhaled a deep breath. He struggled to pull off his shirt. When it was over his head, he tossed it aside. Thick gauze was wrapped around his torso to protect his ribs, and he still had swelling and discoloration all over his skin. He looked so much better now than he had before, but he still looked beaten.
I came to him and helped him with his jeans. I got his boxers off too, assuming he would want to take a shower now that he was home from the hospital.
I was surprised he allowed me to help.
Wordlessly, he slowly made his way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He left the door cracked behind him.
I listened to the water fall for a few moments, wondering if he wanted to be alone. But I knew he’d been alone for weeks now, suffering in silence because he refused to let his guard down. Even if he wanted to be strong for me, he shouldn’t have to be. I was his wife. I should be at his side…wherever he went.
I shed my clothes and then joined him in the shower. I came up from behind and noticed the way he stood idly under the warm water. With his eyes closed and droplets of water dripping down the bridge of his nose and his hard chest, his mind seemed to be far away.
When I shut the shower door, he tensed at the audible click.
I moved toward him and gently rested my forehead between his shoulder blades. My arms circled around his hips so I could avoid his sensitive ribs. He blocked all the water, so I was cold, but I was happy just to be there. Happy we were both there.
Hades stood still for a long time and didn’t reciprocate my affection. We’d had a tender moment together in the hospital, but now, he was cold, like he wanted to be alone. He was probably just in a lot of pain, but sometimes I feared he felt differently toward me altogether.
Hades slowly turned around then pulled me under the water with him. His brown eyes weren’t as territorial as they used to be, but deep affection still burned in his gaze. His hands tightened on my lower back, and he pulled me closer to him. Once my forehead was against his chest, he rested his chin on top of my head.
Together, we stood under the water…silent.
We’d both suffered immense tragedies, the kind of agony neither one of us could comprehend, but we comforted each other the only way we knew how. We were still a team; we were still partners.
We were in this together.
For the first week, Hades didn’t get much sleep.
When his pain meds wore off, he lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling.
Somehow, I always knew when he was awake. The sound of his breathing was different, and it registered in my subconscious brain. During those moments, I would turn toward him and stay awake just so he wouldn’t feel alone.
We hadn’t talked about what happened yet…and it seemed like we never would.
During the day, he stayed in bed. Sometimes, he worked on his laptop or talked on the phone. He would have his morning coffee, but he wouldn’t eat much as he was concerned about gaining weight with his newly sedentary lifestyle—even though it should be his last priority right now.
I stayed home with him, working on my laptop whenever he did and doing my best to be good company without smothering him. At night, we watched movies, switching back and forth between the chick flicks I liked and the mafia movies he liked.
He improved slowly—really slowly.
I was sitting at the table reading an email on my laptop when Hades spoke to me.
“You should go back to work.” He sat up in bed, his back resting against a pile of pillows. He was shirtless, his flawless musculature still powerful under the scars. He’d stopped shaving, but the shadow looked good on his handsome face. He was moody every day, managing his pain in silence. He didn’t talk much…not that he had before.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you’ve been absent from work a long time. I’m sure you’re eager to get back.”
I had to stop myself from tilting my head because his statement was ridiculous. “I don’t want to go anywhere, Hades. I want to stay here—with you.”
He continued to hold my gaze with a stoic expression, but there was a hint of emotion in his eyes. He flicked his eyes away and stared out the patio doors. “There’s nothing you can do for me. I have Helena.”
“But I’m your wife. It’s my job to take care of you—and I want to.”
He kept his gaze out the glass doors. It was unclear if he was touched by that statement or not. He probably felt uncomfortable accepting my support, when he shouldn’t.
“Besides…I don’t want to put myself out there anyway.” I never went into detail about my captivity, not just to protect him, but because I didn’t want to relive the experience by discussing it. I’d rather just pretend it never happened.
His eyes returned to mine, his expression still hard. “He won’t bother you…if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
I’d always be afraid of it. “What makes you so sure?”
“Because I paid for your freedom. The transaction is complete.” His eyes fell, like he was reliving the moment when he took my place.
If he said that was true, then it probably was. But my place was still next to him. “I’m going to be by your side until you get through this.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m fine. Really.” Considering the significant trauma he’d experienced, it was a miracle he was in such good shape. Maybe because he was so strong before the incident, he was able to get by relatively unscathed. “There’s nothing you can do for me. And please don’t pity me.”
“I don’t.” My eyes narrowed. “How can I pity the strongest man I know?”
He wouldn’t look at me.
There was a knock on the bedroom door.
I opened it and came face-to-face with Damien. Instead of talking across the threshold, I stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind me. “He’s getting there… It’s gonna take some time.”
With his chin tilted toward the floor and his hands in his front pockets, he looked like a guilty dog that had destroyed the house before his owner returned. “Can I see him? Maybe we could have dinner tonight?”
“I don’t know…”
“Please.” He begged with his eyes. “Could you just ask him?”
I knew Hades didn’t want to see anybody right now, but I couldn’t deny Damien’s request. “Let me see.” I walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
Hades didn’t meet my look. “No.” He must have heard Damien’s voice through the door and already made up his mind.
“You haven’t seen anyone…”
“I said no.”
I continued to stare at my husband, seeing the rage in his eyes. He could convey such raw emotion with very little expression. Years ago, I couldn’t read him, but now I understood even the slightest movements. “What happened between you two?”
“All of this happened because of him.” He grabbed his left hand and massaged the knuckles of his fist, as if he fantasized about punching Damien in the face. “Tell him to leave me the fuck alone and not come back.”
“I understand you’re upset, but he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. He’s your best friend…”
“I don’t give a shit what he meant to happen. He’s no friend of mine.”
“Hades…”
“Tell him to leave, or I will.”
I knew he would make good on his threat, so I returned to the hallway. I closed the door behind me and crossed my arms over my chest. “He needs his space right now…”
Damien’s eyes fell with devastation. “I know that’s not what he said.”
“Give it time. I’ll talk to him.”
He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “It won’t change anything. I fucked up.”
“He’s just angry right now. You know how he gets. If you give him enough time and space, he’ll come around.”
Damien shook his head slightly. “Not this time…”