The hotel was the only place I had privacy, so I sat on the toilet in the bathroom with the stick in my hand. I held it between my fingers and stared at the results.
Pregnant.
I wasn’t shocked by the results because I already knew that’s what it would say. I hadn’t had a period in almost two months. Since I was so regular, that just wasn’t normal. I wasn’t some scared teenager who wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was a grown-ass woman who wanted a family.
Just not like this.
I had no idea who the father was. I’d slept with Hades the night before I was captured, so maybe that was the moment I conceived. But it easily could’ve happened when I was a prisoner of Maddox.
No way to know.
What would Hades say when I told him? Just when we tried to move past what happened, this curve ball was thrown our way. We could’ve moved on, but now that there was a baby in the mix, we would always be reminded of what happened.
We wouldn’t survive that.
When Hades told me he was committed to me forever, I almost told him the truth. But I knew he wouldn’t be as supportive if he knew I was pregnant by the man who’d raped me. He’d be disgusted, probably ask me to get an abortion.
I’d considered the idea too, but I couldn’t go through with it.
Even if I did a DNA test to conclude it did belong to Maddox…I still wasn’t sure. If that happened, would Hades force me to do it anyway? He didn’t have the same sense of morals as I did. To him, everything was black and white. He’d killed people before. He wouldn’t lose any sleep over this.
But if I kept the baby, he might leave me.
I wished there were a way to know who the baby belonged to before I approached him with the news. I couldn’t keep this secret forever. He always saw me fully clothed now, but eventually, he would start to notice the changes in my body. He was too smart to be fooled.
I clutched the stick in my hand and closed my eyes for a moment. The one person I wanted to turn to was the person I couldn’t confide in. He was my best friend…but now he was a stranger.
I hadn’t wanted to marry him in the first place, but now I couldn’t picture my life without him. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost him. The man had become everything to me. He didn’t look at me differently after what happened, and that made me realize how good of a man he was.
Made me realize how lucky I was to be married to him.
But maybe all of that would change when he knew the truth.
I grabbed my phone and made the call.
Damien picked up right away. “Sofia, everything okay?”
He asked the question because I never called. “Can you meet me in fifteen minutes?”
We met at a restaurant across the street from the hotel. I took a gamble leaving the property because Hades was in and out of the hotel throughout the day. Once he realized I was gone, he’d want to know where I was.
If I told him I was with Damien, I could lie and say I was comforting him about their relationship. It was believable.
Damien and I didn’t order anything because neither one of us was hungry. We just needed a place to talk. The waitress kept bugging us, so Damien ordered us a couple of drinks and an appetizer just to get her off our back. Now we had two glasses of wine, but I didn’t take a drink because I couldn’t.
Damien gave me his full attention. He was tense at the table, his shoulders rigid and his hands balled tightly into fists. He’d already asked me what was wrong three times, and since I never gave an answer, he decided to be quiet.
“I need to tell you something… I don’t know who else to talk to.”
“I doubt I can be much help, but I’m always here for you.”
“You know Hades the best, so you’re my best option.”
His eyes narrowed.
“You have to promise me you won’t tell him what I’m about to tell you.”
Now he looked even more uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and sighed audibly. He grabbed his glass and took a deep drink, handling it like scotch instead of wine. “You’re putting me in a tough spot. I’m already in the doghouse.”
“I understand that, but I have nowhere else to go.”
He sighed again. “Okay, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m scared too.”
He leaned forward and rested his hands against his lips. He stared at me for a long time before he dropped his hands back to the table. “If he finds out I kept a big secret from him, I’ll really have no chance of fixing anything. It’ll be the final nail in the coffin.”
“I know I’m asking for a lot. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Talk to him. You can talk to him about anything.”
“Not about this…”
He rubbed the back of his neck before he finally gave in. “Okay, I’m all ears.”
It would be the first time I would admit the truth out loud. It was scary, like jumping out of a plane to skydive. “I’m pregnant.”
His body tensed noticeably but relaxed an instant later. He sighed in relief before his eyes softened. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Hades will be very happy. Track him down and tell him. He’ll be over the moon.”
If I’d gotten pregnant sooner than we’d planned, he wouldn’t have cared. He would’ve been supportive and excited. He was the kind of man that wasn’t afraid of a challenge, wasn’t afraid of the unexpected. But that wasn’t the situation now. “I’m not sure if he’s the father.”
The color drained from Damien’s face, and he began to look sick. His hands covered his face, and he sighed quietly to himself. His fingers dug into his hair, and he groaned in misery. After a moment, he dropped his hands and looked at me. “Shit.”
“Yeah…”
“And you have no idea…?”
I answered his unspoken question. “No. Not unless I get a paternity test.”
“Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
I nodded slightly and battled the emotion in my throat. It should be a happy moment for me, but it was one of the worst in my life. “I’m afraid to tell him the truth. He’ll either ask me to get an abortion…or he’ll leave. Our relationship is already rocky as it is. Now, this…” I held on to the stem of my wineglass even though I couldn’t take a drink. “I’ve loved being married to him. I didn’t expect that to happen, but it did. The last thing I want is to lose him…”
Damien was quiet as he plotted a response. “I’m not sure what he’s going to say. I’m not going to lie—he’s not going to be happy about this, about the fact that this is happening to you at all. But I can promise you he’s gonna stick by your side, no matter what. He would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. That man will be just as committed to you as he ever was. Tell him.”
“I don’t see how he could look past this…” My eyes shifted to the table. “If the baby isn’t his, he’s not going to want anything to do with it. He’s not going to want anything to do with me. The baby needs to be his, or I need to get an abortion.”
Damien shook his head. “No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“Hades would never react that way.”
“Why wouldn’t he? This isn’t what he signed up for. He’s not going to want to be burdened with raising a kid from another man. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be accommodating.”
Damien looked across the restaurant, several thoughts dancing across the surface of his eyes. He was quiet for a long time, thinking to himself. He eventually shook his head slightly. “I just do. I know how he feels about you.”
“I know I’m his wife, but this is more complicated than that.”
He closed his eyes for a moment as if he were restraining himself. “Just tell him, Sofia.”
I never considered myself to be a coward.
I’d always been fearless, never afraid of anyone else. Outside opinions and thoughts never dictated my feelings. But then again, I’d never cared about someone the way I cared about Hades. His opinion meant the world to me.
It meant everything.
So I continued to keep the truth bottled inside because I was scared.
I got ready for bed in the bathroom, changing into a long t-shirt that hid the curves of my body from view. When I rubbed my palm over my stomach, I noticed the little bulge that had started to form. I’d noticed it before, but I’d assumed I’d just been gaining weight. I’d been at home taking care of Hades, so all I ever did was eat and sit.
Now I realized it wasn’t extra weight. It was a new person.
After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I returned to the bedroom and got under the covers.
Hades was already in bed, the sheets resting over his hips. He was shirtless, his strong pecs reflecting the light from the slightly open window. The scars and bruises had faded, so his beautiful tanned skin was visible once more. He was a handsome man; that couldn’t be denied. It wasn’t like I was oblivious to it.
I just wasn’t ready.
I pulled the sheets to my shoulders and closed my eyes.
Hades immediately shifted closer to me. He positioned himself right in front of me, just inches between us. He didn’t touch me, as if he was waiting for permission.
I opened my eyes and saw his face directly next to mine. I knew what he wanted from me, noticed the way he was hard for me in his sweatpants. I knew he wanted my affection, even just a simple touch. I might have been okay with it, but then I found out I was pregnant, and the last thing I wanted was to be intimate.
It seemed like Hades meant what he said, that he still desired me as much as he had before.
Hades wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled us closer together. He grabbed my thigh and hooked it over his hip. We used to sleep this way all the time. I would wake up in the same position, my hand resting against his chest. The outline of his cock was noticeable, pressed right against me. He probably didn’t mean to make it obvious, but it was impossible to hide. “Baby.” His husky voice pierced the darkness, filled with longing and desire. He moved his forehead against mine, as if he wanted to kiss me. His hand slipped underneath my t-shirt and slid up my back. “I miss you.”
“I know… I’m just not ready.”
“That’s not what I mean. I miss this…us.” He pressed his lips to mine and gave me a gentle kiss. He tested my response by keeping it slow, delicate. His mouth remained closed. He kissed me again, his lips moving to the corner of my mouth.
I enjoyed being the recipient of his affection, being the only woman in his bed. But I felt so scared, so uneasy about the secret I was keeping from him that I couldn’t do it. If we slept together and he didn’t realize I was pregnant with potentially another man’s child, it would feel so deceitful. It made me feel like a liar, made me feel ugly. I kissed him back so I didn’t reject him outright, but then I pulled away.
If he was disappointed, he didn’t let me see it. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “Goodnight, baby.”
“Goodnight…”
I knew I was having a dream. But I couldn’t force myself to wake up.
I knew it wasn’t real, but I was still scared. Terrified.
Maddox was on top of me, his possessive gaze locked on mine. We were naked together, and he was using my body like he owned it. One hand was on my neck, and he choked me while he fucked me.
I threw my hands in his face to fight him off. There was so much hatred in my body, and it was about to explode. I hated him so much, hated him enough to kill him with my bare hands. “Die, motherfucker.” I swung my arms around, striking him in the face, in the chest.
“Sofia.”
I screamed as I fought, fought for my life.
“Sofia.” Large hands grabbed my arms and shook me gently. “Baby, wake up.”
“I’m gonna kill you.” Hot tears poured down my face as I kept fighting.
“Come on.” He shook me again.
My eyes opened and focused on the shadow on top of me, the outline of a man. His face wasn’t visible because it was too dark, but his physique was thick and powerful. Faceless, he was terrifying.
Maybe it wasn’t a dream. “Get off me.” I tried to slam my hands into his face, but he restrained me on the bed.
“Baby, it’s me. Hades.”
“I can’t see your face…” I continued to squirm in his grasp.
He leaned down closer to me so our faces were practically touching. “It’s me. Listen to my voice.”
When I saw his brown eyes and realized they weren’t blue, I knew Maddox wasn’t on top of me. I knew I was in bed at home, waking up from a terrible nightmare. None of it was real. Just a horrible flashback that my subconscious brain was trying to confront. I took a deep breath and felt my muscles relax.
When Hades knew I was calm, he let me go. He moved off me and gave me some space. “Just a dream.”
I sat up and blinked a couple times. The sight of the bedroom came to me, and I listened to my breathing start to slow. I turned my gaze on him and noticed the concern in his eyes. That was when I noticed the blood coming from his nose. “Oh no, I’m so sorry.” I reached my hand out to wipe the blood away with my fingers.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled it away from his face so I wouldn’t touch it. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” He gently guided my hand back to the bed. “I’m sorry you had a nightmare.” He didn’t ask what it was about, probably because he could figure it out.
I leaned against the headboard and pulled my knees to my chest. The nightmare was still fresh in my brain. I could feel the tightness around my throat from where he had grabbed me, could feel the penetration between my legs even though he hadn’t been there. My arms folded over my chest, and I cradled myself.
Hades cleaned up his nose in the bathroom then returned to me. He sat beside me against the headboard and grabbed my hand. He interlocked our fingers and gave me a gentle squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
No, it wasn’t going to be okay. Reality came flooding back to me, and I remembered I was pregnant and, knowing my luck, that psychopath was the father. He would always have a hold on me, always have ownership over me. My heart started to race, and I panicked all over again. My husband was the one person who could comfort me.
What if I lost him?
What if he left me?
What would I do without him?
I’d never wanted to get married because I didn’t believe in marriage, monogamy, and trust. But I got all those things with Hades. I got a good man whom I respected and admired, who took care of me and would do anything to keep me safe. I’d initially wanted to be single, but now that was the last thing I wanted.
I wanted to be Mrs. Lombardi forever.
New tears started to escape my eyes.
“Baby…it was just a dream.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and brought me closer to his chest. His lips moved to my forehead, and he gave me a gentle kiss. “Shh…it’ll be alright. I am here with you…and I’ll always be here with you.”