I waited at the bar with a drink in my hand.
It was late, sometime between eleven and twelve. Other than a couple talking in the corner, I was the only one there. In jeans and a dark jacket, I sat alone and glanced at the time on my watch. I didn’t want to have this meeting, but I had no choice.
Watching Sofia writhe in a painful dream showed me how tortured, how disturbed she truly was. I suspected Maddox did even worse things than what I imagined. He’d hurt my wife so deeply.
I would hurt him even more.
I wanted to encourage her to see a therapist, but that made it seem like I didn’t want to talk to her about it. In truth, I didn’t. I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face as she described such horrible things. I would either punch down a wall or burst into tears.
Neither was good.
Maybe killing Maddox would give her the closure she needed. I certainly needed it.
The door opened, and Damien walked inside. He was dressed as casually as I was, but there was a hint of threat to his frame. It was something I could easily recognize because I saw it in myself.
He made eye contact with me and joined me at the bar. His knuckles tapped against the bar, and he ordered a scotch from the guy waiting on us. Soon, there was a fresh glass in front of us, and we were both ready to drink our pain away.
The tension was palpable. My hatred was obvious, and it seemed to bounce off Damien and hit me right in the face. It was like looking in a mirror, and I could feel my own hatred absorb into my skin.
Damien looked straight ahead and didn’t meet my gaze. It didn’t seem like he wanted to be there either. He slid the glass on the surface, watching the contents swirl around.
I didn’t know what to say. I was too angry to get words out.
Damien cleared his throat. “How’s Sofia?”
“She’s been worse. She’s also been better.”
“That didn’t really answer my question.”
I lost my temper. “My wife was raped. How do you think she is?”
Damien sighed quietly, his eyes still on his drink. “She’ll get through this… Give it time.”
“Easy for you to say. You don’t have to see her every day. She woke up last night having a nightmare…and I know exactly what her nightmare was about.”
Damien drank from his glass then slouched forward. “Maybe she should see a therapist.”
I stared at the side of his face and didn’t answer.
“Then we need to focus on killing Maddox. You seem well enough.”
I stared at the mirror on the wall, seeing the two of us sitting together, plotting the death of our greatest enemy. “I couldn’t agree more. But I don’t know where to start. He’s impossible to find.”
“Then we’ll make it possible. I want to kill this fucker as much as you do.”
No. No one wanted to kill him as much as I did. “If we can’t hunt him down, then we need to lure him out.” But that was easier said than done. He had his henchmen to do all his dirty work. He only poked his head out when he wanted to have a good time. “The only way to smoke him out is to affect his business. Get his drugs off the street. Force him to confront us, since he has no other option.”
Damien gave a slight nod. “That’s not a bad idea. It’ll take time…but it’ll happen.”
“We can find his distributors and kill them. Without those men, he has no way to get his drugs on the streets. We know enough people, we have enough connections, we should be able to pull it off.”
Damien tapped his glass against the surface, getting the guy’s attention.
The bartender refilled Damien’s glass. When he tried to fill mine, I simply shook my head.
I couldn’t drink the way I used to.
Damien took a drink, then turned in his chair to face me. Now that we were talking about something bigger than the two of us, it started to feel like old times, it started to feel like us. “The guy takes things personally. And he’ll personally come after us. He’ll definitely be pissed off.”
“Good. I want him to be pissed off.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for that? I mean, you haven’t recovered all the way yet.”
It would take a long time to be back to normal, but I was well enough to do what needed to be done. “I’m ready.”
Damien stared at me for a while, as if he were reading my gaze. He didn’t object to what I said, just let it be. “Then we’ll start as soon as possible. No going back.”
I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to finish this. I wanted to do what I should’ve done a long time ago. “Then we’re done here.” I rose to my feet and prepared to depart.
Damien grabbed my arm. “Hang on.”
I twisted out of his hold and gave him a venomous stare. “Don’t touch me again.”
Damien returned his hand to his thigh. He looked at me for a while, apology slowly coming into his gaze. “I don’t want it to be this way. Hades, you mean the world to me. I would die for you…I mean that. I love Sofia like a sister, and I hate myself for what happened to her. I just want you to know that.”
I stared at him for several seconds, and I almost felt the sympathy in my heart. But it disappeared quickly, evaporating like boiling water. I turned my gaze away and walked off, leaving him alone at the bar.
When I walked in the door, it was past midnight. I gently shut the bedroom door behind me so Sofia wouldn’t wake. It was dark because all the lights were off, so I slowly crept to my closet and undressed.
When I walked back to the bed, I realized she was awake.
Wide awake.
I stopped at the edge of the bed and looked at her, seeing her expressive eyes. She didn’t look tired at all. Instead, she looked exhausted but unable to sleep.
She stared at me with unblinking eyes. “Where were you?”
“Out with Damien.” I pulled the sheets back and got into bed.
She seemed uncomfortable with that answer. “With Damien at this time of night?”
Did she not believe me? Why was that so hard to believe? “Yes.”
She turned her gaze away, visibly closing herself off from me.
I leaned against the headboard and stared at the side of her face. “I’m missing something.”
She looked out the patio doors even though the view was blocked by the closed curtains.
When she didn’t say anything, I pressed further. “Talk to me.”
She refused to look at me.
“Don’t make me ask you again.”
She slowly turned her gaze my way, her eyes reflecting the sliver of light in the bedroom. “Don’t lie to me.”
My heart started to slam in my chest. My initial response was anger.
No. It was rage.
I was an honest man, so honest, it got me into deep shit all the time. And the idea that I would lie to her, my own fucking wife, was bullshit. I had to carefully swallow those emotions and not explode at her. “I’m not lying.”
“You hate Damien. And you have no reason to talk to him in the middle of the night.” She looked forward once again.
I had to take a couple breaths so I wouldn’t do something stupid. “And what do you think I was doing?”
“You already know.”
I reminded myself of everything she’d been through…due to my mistakes. I reminded myself that she was emotionally stunted. I remembered her view of marriage before she became my wife. All she’d ever known was rich men with mistresses. Now that our relationship was rocky, she assumed the worst. If only she knew how much I loved her, she would understand how fucking stupid she sounded. I wanted to tell her then and there that I was madly in love with her. I’d rather spend a lifetime with her not getting laid than spend my nights with endless beautiful women. “I’m gonna cut you some slack, ’cause shit is hard right now. Let me remind you that I’m painfully honest. If I’m fucking someone, I’ll say it to your face. Spoiler alert. I’m not. If I tell you something, it’s the complete truth. I was with Damien at the bar talking about Maddox.”
She wouldn’t look at me.
“When I told you I was committed to this marriage, I meant it. Just because we aren’t having sex doesn’t mean I’m gonna go looking for it somewhere else. You’re the only woman I want… I wish you understood that. The only reason I’m not screaming at you right now is because I know you’ve been through a lot. But I would never do that, no matter how hard things get. You could never sleep with me again, and I’d still be right here. I’m in this for the long haul. Even if you wanted to divorce me, I wouldn’t let you. It’s you and me…forever. Do you understand that?”
Her breathing picked up noticeably, and she turned her head slightly farther to the right so I couldn’t see her face. She was unresponsive to my declaration, but her heightened breathing relayed its own story.
“Sofia, do you understand that?”
She ignored me.
My voice became sterner. “Look at me. Now.”
She fought me initially, but when her body started to shake, it was obvious she’d lost the battle. She finally turned her face back to me, eyes full of tears and with wet cheeks. Her bottom lip was trembling because she couldn’t keep her emotions stable.
It broke my heart to see her like that, to see such a strong woman feel so insecure. If she only understood the depth of my feelings, she would understand just how perfect she was, regardless of the things that had happened to her. But it also told me she was scared to lose me, that she didn’t want me to be with anyone else, that she wanted me all to herself. She was invested in this marriage, and her guard was down. That meant I could hurt her…and that terrified her.
“Baby, I’m yours.” I moved into her side and wrapped my arms around her. I brought her close and cradled her face against my chest. My fingers slid into the back of her hair, and I held her against me. I listened to my wife cry, listened to her open her heart to me. She underappreciated her value and thought I would do the same thing. “I will never hurt you. I promise.”
Her arm wrapped around my waist, and she cuddled into me. Her tears only lasted a few more minutes before she forced herself to calm down. Once the silence was the only sound between us, she whispered into the darkness, “I don’t want to lose you.”
Those words brought me joy, but they also brought me pain. My chin rested on her head so she couldn’t see my face. She couldn’t see the moisture that built up in my eyes. “You could never lose me.”
Our relationship improved over the week.
She wasn’t as distant with me. She extended affection often, kissing me goodbye when I dropped her off at work and embracing me when I picked her up again. When we went to sleep together, our bodies were always wrapped around each other.
But it never went further than that.
I noticed she still didn’t change in front of me. Her outfit changes always took place in the bathroom. It was strange because I’d never given her the impression that I’d tear her clothes off and bend her over the bed. I was always delicate now, and I would never pressure her unless she explicitly told me that was what she wanted. So changing in the bathroom seemed a little excessive.
But I didn’t dare complain.
I was in my office at the bank when Damien walked inside. Unfortunately, we had to deal with each other often. It was always uncomfortable, always tense. But we usually said whatever needed to be said and went on about our day.
Damien approached my desk, his eyes guarded and his hands in the pockets of his suit. “How’s Sofia?”
I noticed he only asked about her. He hardly asked about me. “Better.”
He gave a slight nod. “Good.”
I was still used to telling him everything, so I wanted to tell him what Sofia had accused me of last week. She actually thought I was sneaking around behind her back. She actually thought I went to a whorehouse or picked up a woman at a bar. It was ludicrous, because I would never find a woman who compared to her.
When we had nothing else to say, Damien spoke. “I got a good list of his distributors. I sent the guys out to take care of it, but it’ll be a while before we get them all.”
“I’m available if we need more hands on deck.”
“I’m already getting my hands dirty. I think you should stay home with Sofia. She needs you right now.”
That was a valid point. When I was gone just one night, she assumed I was having an affair. She probably couldn’t sleep unless I was there. I didn’t know what her sleeping arrangements had been with Maddox, if she had been forced to sleep beside him every night. I suspected that wasn’t the case because Sofia would’ve killed him with her bare hands. “True.”
“The guy doesn’t have a single person he cares about. Just drugs and money. Doesn’t even hit up the whorehouses. The only person he has some kind of vested interest in is you. If that weren’t true, he would’ve killed you.”
“So, if he knows I am the one who’s compromising his livelihood, he’ll probably be provoked.”
Damien nodded. “Yeah. Who knows what he’ll do. He might even knock on your front door.”
Maddox was definitely unpredictable.
“Ash offered to help.” Damien pulled his hands out of his pockets and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s crazy to think he hated you, and now he’s doing everything he can to help you.” He stared at me like he expected me to say something to that.
“What are you trying to say?”
He shook his head. “Things change…”