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Arie
THE WHITE SILK WEDDING dress flowed over my curves, hugging them until it hit my knees and flowed out in an abundance of fabric. The enormous tiara on my head belonged to my mother. I’d never worn it before today.
“You look just like her,” Farideh breathed.
Havah wiped a tear from her eye. “You’ll make a beautiful queen.” As if this was what mattered most.
Like everyone else, they were convinced this was the wedding day of my dreams. Nothing I said would sway them. I knew, because I’d tried. If one more person told me it was just pre-wedding nerves, I didn’t know what I’d do, so I clenched my teeth and stayed silent.
Without meaning to, I saw myself through Havah’s eyes. Honey-toned skin, dark brown eyes flecked with amber, face framed with waves of black hair that touched my lower back, dripping with diamonds around my neck, hanging from my ears, and of course, a thick coating of them on my crown. A vision, Havah thought as she sniffed, turning away to compose herself.
I supposed I was.
But I found no joy in it. My wedding would take place at sunset in the midst of the Summer’s Eve feasting and dancing. It seemed as if Amir had never bothered to cancel it. The whole castle buzzed with delight and anticipation.
Even though the young woman staring back at me in the mirror wasn’t smiling, when I glimpsed myself through Havah’s eyes once more, I was a vision of pure joy. How was this possible? This new trait of my Gift only made me feel more alone than ever.
Shaking the image from my mind, I avoided my reflection, remembering instead the vision of my father lying broken in his cell, which was burned into my memory. I needed to act quickly. It was tempting to use the tunnels and try to escape, but this time I needed to take a stand, otherwise Amir would never stop.
“Havah,” I said, “would you be a dear and go fetch my mother’s... perfume?” I grasped at straws, searching for something that hadn’t already been provided to me. “I want something to remind me of her.”
“Oh, how lovely!” Havah sighed yet again with happiness. “Of course, I’ll be right back.”
Alone, I hurried to dig through my drawers, searching for a weapon. Anything sharp really, but a dagger would be nice. I tried to remember where I kept that small blade from a childhood birthday. Had I left it in the stables after my last ride?
As I searched for it or a sharp object of any kind, I came up empty. “Come on, come on,” I muttered as I raced to the closet, digging through the shelves in the back, making a mess but hoping no one would notice. But if there’d been a weapon of any kind, it’d been stripped from the room.
I sank down on the bed. I’d never felt so alone. At that moment, the door clicked open and Havah returned. “What’s wrong?” she asked when she saw my posture.
“Oh, now you can tell something’s wrong?” I snapped. It was unfair of me. She was under his influence, or she would’ve listened.
The bed dipped as she settled onto it beside me and wrapped her arms around my shoulder. “You can tell me,” she said gently as she rubbed my arm.
I wanted to scream. Instead, I pulled out of her embrace and turned to look at her, taking her hands and squeezing. “Will you do something for me, Havah? Please? Without any explanation?”
Her forehead wrinkled at the pressure on her hands and my strange request, but I pressed harder. “Please. You’ve known me my whole life. Do you trust me?”
“Of course.” Havah smiled as she tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “Tell me what’s got you so upset?”
“I will, I promise.” And if I lived through this, I vowed that I would. “But right now, I need you to do something for me, and I need you to keep it a secret. Can you do that?”
Slowly, Havah nodded, though her frown deepened.
“In the stables, I have a dagger,” I began. When Havah reacted, trying to tug her hands out of mine, I squeezed tighter, leaning toward her so she couldn’t help but meet my eye. “It was a gift, from my father,” I added, stretching for an explanation that wouldn’t raise any alarms. “I’m worried about him, Havah.”
I hoped against hope that the mention of him might trigger some real memory of what was going on, but she raised her brows and asked, “Whatever for? He’s just taking a short nap before the festivities begin.” So, that’s what he was telling them.
“It’s hard to explain,” I said finally. Harder still for her to understand with the fog of Amir’s Gift clouding her mind. “But I need it. Would you get it for me?” I begged, tears coming to my eyes despite my best efforts. “Please, Havah? Would you help me?”
“Of course, I will, Arie-zada,” she smiled, pressing my hands between hers before wiping my cheek where a tear had slipped out. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if this will make you feel better, I’m happy to help.”
We stood together and I hurried her toward the door. “Thank you,” I whispered, voice cracking. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone—do you promise?” I made her swear to me twice that she wouldn’t tell a soul before allowing her to leave, but she paused at the door, hand fluttering to her heart as she teared up once more.
“What’s wrong?” A flicker of hope mixed with worry rose in me. Was she finding her way out from under the compulsion? Or was she second guessing my request?
But she smiled through her tears. “I’m just so happy for you,” she said, her voice rising high and squeaky. “You’ve found your prince!”
Whisking out of the room, she shut the door behind her before I could answer. Alone, I wrung my hands, wondering if she’d keep her promise. Would she bring me my dagger or would she tell someone? Was the dagger even there to be found?
“I’m not looking for a prince!” I snapped at the closed door, kicking at my skirt as I paced. “I’m looking for a sword!”