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Arie
I HEARD HIS THOUGHTS before he spoke. “You’re free now,” Kadin said softly. We stood on my balcony overlooking the ocean. He’d used the tunnels over the last few days, though I suspected he would’ve found a way in even if I hadn’t shown him. I stared down as waves crashed into the cliffs below, creating white surf. The sound usually calmed me.
Not today.
“Free?” I scoffed, glaring at the waves. “I’ve never been less free.” My father was still in a comatose state—only in Rena’s presence, under her enchantments, did he occasionally wake. Over three days had passed this way. If he didn’t get better soon, I worried he’d never recover.
When I’d imagined becoming queen, it’d never felt like a burden. And there was no one to share it—most of the Shahs were avoiding the castle. It had become a silent tomb with servants tiptoeing through it.
“You mean Amir?” Kadin hopped onto the marble ledge to sit facing me, trying to catch my gaze. He misunderstood, but he was right about that too. The king of Sagh was still a threat. “Why does he want Hodafez so badly anyway?”
“He needs it to reach the other kingdoms.” I finally met his gaze, but I couldn’t hold it. The ocean didn’t stir up feelings the way he did. “And yes, I’m worried he’ll try again, but it’s more than that... It’s also the people...” My new rule was so fragile. The other Gifted women depended on me, yet if even one of them made a mistake, it would demolish the delicate peace I’d created. And I couldn’t comfort them—the entire kingdom feared me more than anyone else.
Kadin waited.
“And... I’m worried about my father.”
That was an understatement. Gideon had promised to save him. The Jinni had come back only once, for mere minutes. No news. He’d asked for the lamp, and vanished once more. I feared his own mission came first. And that there might not be a solution to be found.
“There’s another healer on the way,” Kadin murmured. “Bosh sent word he found someone. And the others haven’t given up searching.
I nodded, turning to pull myself up onto the ledge as well, swiping the tears away while my back was turned and keeping my voice steady. “How are they doing?”
“Good. You’ve given us more than enough,” he waved a hand and I stared at it where it landed on the balcony next to mine. I’d pardoned Naveed and Daichi, who’d landed in the dungeons, and given each of the men a handsome reward for their aid. “They just want to help. I just want to help,” he added.
I already knew that. It was impossible not to hear his thoughts when he let his walls down. Even now, he pictured wrapping his arms around me. It was more a warm sensation than a full thought, but I could sense it all the same. I put a palm on the stone between us, and he covered it with his own, leaning toward me.
Instead of moving away, I held my breath, hoping the kiss would be as good as he was imagining. The seagulls called to each other, the waves crashed around us, and I let myself forget everything else, just for a moment. I closed my eyes as his lips brushed softly against mine, light, tentative. I leaned toward him and kissed him back.
He pulled away first, rubbing the back of his head, as if it still ached from the guard’s blow during the fight. Tell her how you feel, he urged himself. I blinked, and the spell was broken. This couldn’t happen.
As much as I wanted to give in to the feelings, I pushed off the balcony until my feet touched the ground, putting distance between us. He was a weakness. If Amir found out, he’d exploit it. If the people found out, they would add his lack of nobility to their list of reasons I shouldn’t rule. And most importantly, I couldn’t fathom allowing myself a moment of happiness when my father was in this state. When it was all my fault.
“He’ll be okay, Arie,” Kadin whispered, as if it were him who could hear thoughts, not me. He’d jumped down as well to follow me inside, but stopped a few feet away on the threshold, unsure of himself. It was a side of him I’d never seen before. I supposed now that I was queen, he wasn’t sure how to act.
His words pulled me out of my thoughts, as if dragging me to the surface of the water where I could breathe, penetrating the fog in my mind. I clung to the hope. But out loud, I only said, “You don’t know that.”
The sunset glowed over the rippling waves and created a halo around Kadin’s form. His warm eyes shone golden-brown in the fading sunlight as he stared back at me. He didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep, didn’t lie, just stood there, opening his mind.
It was comforting. And at the same time, too soothing. It wasn’t right.
“You should go.” I crossed my arms, bracing myself against the cool evening wind. “Thank you for this latest information. I’ll make sure you and your men are well compensated.”
“Thank you,” he said slowly, studying me with those golden eyes as if solving a puzzle. “If you need anything—”
“I don’t,” I interrupted, spinning to pass through the marble archway that led into my bedchambers, speaking over my shoulder. “I’d rather you didn’t come here again, actually, unless you have further information.”
Kadin had followed, but he stopped in the middle of my room, blinking. Hurt.
I felt that brief moment of pain as if it were my own, before he slammed his walls into place, hiding his thoughts from me. He’d accepted me as I was, accepted my Gift, only for me to reject him.
I pulled on the mask of a queen, cold and alone. I had to fix this by myself. I’d been weak before, when I’d run away; I couldn’t allow that again. And Kadin was my biggest weakness.
Settling onto my seat in front of my dressing table, I watched him in the mirror as he searched for words, even though I could no longer hear his thoughts. In typical Kadin fashion, he avoided the argument. “That’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”
I dropped my gaze to the jewelry, sorting through it so I wouldn’t have to see his hurt.
A quiet formed around him so deep that I couldn’t sense him at all anymore. Unsettled, I whirled to face him, but he was already gone.
My heart broke. It struck me as funny how it wasn’t in two pieces, the way I’d always pictured, but more like how glass would shatter if dropped from a high point, into thousands of tiny slivers so fragmented they could never be put back together again.
Utterly destroyed.
Though he couldn’t hear me anymore, I wiped a tear that slipped down my cheek and whispered, “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever lied to me.”
THE END.
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