Nineteen.

Ours

 

Whatever I had expected Tucker’s house to be, an old lace-bedecked giant Victorian was not it. The curtains were a faded cream lace, the tables were covered with the stuff, and even the coasters were made up of the frilly material. The walls were the same old cream color with dusty pink roses on them. The furniture was all upholstered Victorian style stuff, as well. The moment I walked in behind Jens, I automatically sat up straighter and spoke softer. It felt like a grandmother’s home. Though I’d never had one of those around to give me butterscotch candies, I felt the presence of one in this impressive home.

“Um, this is your house?” I took in the churlish playboy in suspenders with a suspect gaze. “You live here?”

Tucker’s arm went around my back. “This is one of my houses. It’s a hobby of mine.”

“Real estate? Sounds like an expensive hobby.”

“Not the way I do it.”

Jens gave a short laugh as he took my duffel and his from the trunk into the house. Jamie had nothing but the clothes on his back, and I hoped Jens would be up for sharing in the morning.

Tucker showed us the five-bedroom home I couldn’t believe was decorated to his taste. It looked like a little old lady with a flower fetish was given a blank check to deck her home in the pinkest of floral fashions. Everywhere you turned, there were mauve rose decorations scattered among the lace.

“Good enough for a Tribeswoman?” Tucker asked, his hand still on the small of my back.

I nodded, shrugging out of his too-familiar touch. “Sure. Thanks for letting us stay here. Far sight better than the motel in Nowheresville. Your house is real nice.” I wanted to ask about the roses and doilies, but thought that might be in bad taste.

“Make yourself at home, käresta.” He slapped Jens on the shoulder. “Get a couple hours of sleep before the sun comes up, mate. I’ll go into the office at nine when it opens.”

Jens stretched, looking like he needed about a pot of coffee to make it ten more minutes. “No. I need to do a perimeter check.”

Tucker shook his head. “No need. I’ve got the place rigged with my wicked elfin magic.” He wiggled his fingers with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “You’re safe, guys. Sleep. You sound like you’ve earned about a week’s worth of vacation.”

Jens looked torn between punching the clock and breaking it flat out. “I… you’re sure?”

Tucker nodded and then grinned that smarmy Cheshire cat smile that screamed punch-me-in-the-face. “There’s a real live virgin under my roof. Never thought I’d see the day. Something must be done to rectify the situation, my friend.” He slapped Jens on the butt in a “go get her, dog” kind of way.

Steaming, I shoved him hard. “Take a cold shower, Heff!” I turned to Jens and muttered, “Your friend’s a grade-A jackwagon.”

“Which one?” He looked up and sighed. “I miss Linus.” Jens cracked his neck as he ambled up the stairs. He let us into the mauve room with too many roses to count. It was like they were staring at us. He dropped our things on the ground and pulled me onto the bed, wasting no time in molding my curves to his chiseled form. “I really thought we were done running,” he breathed as he nipped at my lower lip.

I nodded, my heart feeling the heaviness of Jamie’s depression and the gut-punch at losing the home I’d waited so long for. In the end, it hadn’t lasted longer than most of our living arrangements. My white picket fence was gone, and there was no fixing that. “Go to sleep,” I cooed, kissing the space between his furrowed eyebrows. “You’ve been through too much. It was your home, too.”

He deflated next to me. “Thanks for saying that. I really didn’t want to leave our house. I mean, it was ours. I built that fence for you. I put up the crown moldings. I got the garden just how I wanted it. We were putting down roots, and now it’s all gone.” He brought me to rest atop him, and I melted around his body, sinking into his sadness to add my salve to the wounds. His leg stuck out and wrapped around my calves as his arms encircled me. “You really think Jeneve poisoned Jamie?”

“You’ve known Jamie your whole life. In a million years, would you ever guess he’d do something so horrible to Britt and me?”

Jens shook his head. “Never. But he did.”

“I don’t know anything about Undraland poison or magic or curses. That’s all you. But I know when it’s Jamie and when it’s not. Deep down, so do you.”

Jens sighed, pecking my lips once more. “I hate this. I wanted more for us.”

“I know, baby. We’ll get it back.” I kissed his lips, offering as much solace to his sorrow as I could. “And until then, we have this lovely room to make our own. See that rose lampshade? I think I should like to have the exact same thing in our new house. If only it was pinker.”

The ghost of a smile that surfaced on Jens’s luscious lips conjured up enough hope to assure me we would find a way through the devastation. He brushed a stray curl away from my face. “Man, I love you. Thanks for making a joke.” He rested his forehead to mind. “If you want that lamp, I’ll get you that lamp. Hundreds of them in every room.”

“I’d also like a roomful of doilies. If only I knew where the world’s supply of lace was being stored right now.”

Jens kissed me and I felt myself breathe, despite the suffocating fear that was mounting up on either side of me. It’s a good man who lets you breathe.

We dozed off not too long later, wrapped around each other in covetous holds meant to protect and build up as we cherished the fact that, though we’d lost our house, we still had a home in each other.

 

* * * *

 

I awoke to a pounding on my fragile mental wall. Let me in! Jamie begged.

He hadn’t needed to ask for this escape in a while. It dawned on me just how much Jamie was suffering, and that I had the power to help him. He hadn’t helped me when I was suffering. No, he’d pointed his finger at me and basically kicked me out of the cool kids club.

I had two choices: I could follow his bad example out of spite, or I could rise above.

People underestimate the allure of spite.

Mouth set in a firm line, I let his shaking form inside through the hole he’d torn in the drywall of our shared psyche, removing the bricks I’d stacked up to keep him out.

I’d been dreaming about Jens, so I doubted he wanted a front seat to that particular vision. Jamie made do and sat on the floor next to the bed we’d been making out on – the bed from our freshly burned home, not the rose-decorated one Jens and I were currently sleeping on in real life. Jamie covered his face with his hands and shouted his torment into them. It’s the fog! It’s coming back, and I can’t stop it! Hurry! Put up your wall to keep it out!

We set about fixing the mental wall that had once separated us so that the curse or magic or whatever on the other end wouldn’t follow him over here. I stacked brick after brick, spackling it in as best I could with my makeshift cement. It took up most of the night, but by the end of it, we had a decent enough wall to separate us from the black poison. Mentally exhausted, I sat on a chair in the make-believe room.

Watching Jens sleep was a beautiful thing. Hand slung across his toned belly, lips parted slightly and eyebrows devoid of sarcasm – Jens was a sight, no matter what level of consciousness I possessed.

You love him, Jamie observed, his crying having quieted a handful of minutes ago. He’s not enjoyed much of that.

Doesn’t sound like you have, either. You really screwed things up with Britta. I tapped my fingers on the arm of the wooden chair.

Jamie slumped in defeat, lowering himself to his knees before me. Help me, Lucy. I broke the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t just have a curse, I chose this one. I brought a curse down upon my own head. Forgive me, syster.

I considered this, unable to put my anger and compassion in their proper places. I knew what Jamie’d done had been unforgiveable, but I also knew it wasn’t really him. I pursed my lips when I realized it could have been Jens with the darkness inside of him. I wouldn’t be cool with the group holding him accountable for things he couldn’t control.

It could’ve been me who’d swallowed the poison.

Never again, I warned, my tone stern. Never put me out like that again. If I mess up, we have to work together and figure it out. You can’t get superior on me and cast me out of the inner circle. You hurt me, Jamie. And then making me watch you? Beyond. Just beyond. If you feel the fog coming, you book it into my brain. I’ll share my space with you if it’ll keep you from turning into that monster, but only if you can be cool. I gritted my teeth through the thing I never wanted to confess. You messed me up, Jamie.

Jamie nodded vigorously, taking my forgiveness and running with it. He reached forward and picked up my hands, pressing kisses into my palms. I’ll do whatever it takes to rid myself of the poison and somehow fix the mess I made. I’m so sorry.

I could see his contrition, feel his sorrow and hear the heartbreak in his voice. For better or worse, Jamie and I were fused together. Hurting him further only caused equal damage to me. I sighed as I leaned over and kissed his brown curls. I forgive you, Jamie.