Case # 22–0539
Evidence Item: 18-B
The following are excerpts from the journal of Leesa Nelson at age eighteen.
Hey You,
I know. It’s been MONTHS! But better late than never, right? It’s really not my fault this time. See, Grandma forgot to pack you in my hospital bag and then always forgot to bring you during her visits. Then, I came home and found that Grandma had let the garden go to shit. You wouldn’t believe the amount of weeds that could pop up in six months. It was a mess. Between that and home school, it’s just been busy. But we can play catch up! Like real friends. Not that I have many of those. How about I start first with some good news because you’re never going to believe this. I got a job! A REAL job. I’m going to be working part time at Home Depot in the gardening department.
Okay I know what you’re thinking. Dr. Lewis specifically said that I needed to find a different hobby other than gardening. He thinks I’m a little, what’s the word, obsessed? I don’t think so. I just think I’m really passionate about stuff. But I promise, I’ll take up chess or something just to keep the scales balanced. And technically, this isn’t a hobby—it’s a job! I’ll get to work with plants while making money. Plus, I’ll get a pretty sweet discount and can buy anything I need for the garden. The best of both worlds.
Grandma swears we don’t need the money, but I’ve seen a few of those overdue bills in the mailbox. And those notices are starting to come again, claiming they’re going to tear our house down which is really scary. I mean, we’ve lived in this old place all my life.
Well, gotta go. Grandma is calling me down for dinner. Tuna and rice, yet again.
Love,
Leesa
Hey You,
Today was my first official shift at Home Depot. I was given a tour and … dang it’s all just so perfect. I’m going to be surrounded by hundreds of plants, trees, seeds, and bags of dirt. I was so excited I could barely sit still during this morning’s training. Well, I didn’t really need a lot of training. I’ve been gardening all my life. No one knows their way around planter pots better than me. We actually have tons of them in our garden in the backyard. We mostly have flowers. Red, white and pink roses in giant pots. You know, growing roses isn’t easy. It’s a lot of work trying to keep them safe.
Speaking of which, I bought another planter pot. I’m thinking about adding a few more bushes to the garden. Maybe near the back, who knows.
There is just one thing … my new boss, Joey Tanner. He’s this short white college guy with one of those weird mustaches. He seems a bit controlling. Towards the end of my shift, he kept making comments about how I wasn’t organizing the orchids correctly. It’s not my fault he doesn’t know the difference between a moth orchid and a laelia. Also, he keeps staring, as if he’s trying to figure me out or something. It gives me the creeps. I know Dr. Lewis says, whenever I feel unsafe, I should start by closing my eyes and counting backwards by ten. I tried but I can still feel him staring. Even when he’s not in the room. I can’t tell Dr. Lewis that. He’ll think I’m imagining things again. Which I’m totally not. I’ve been really good.
I told Grandma about Joey and she just asked me to be careful. To not let him upset me. “You know what happens when you get upset.” Blah blah blah. She’s probably worried about me losing my job but really she has nothing to worry about. This is the best job I’ve ever had. No way I’m going to screw this up. I swear.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
I got my first paycheck today! I cashed it, bought two giant bags of topsoil (it’ll be great for the new roses I planning to get) and gave the rest of the money to Grandma. She seemed so surprised. I know I told her I was working. Maybe she just forgot.
I think Joey has a little crush on me. He followed me yesterday to the parking lot, claiming that he wanted to give me some “life advice.” Same way Lamar once did. Guys can be so sweet sometimes. But I don’t need Joey’s advice. I listened to him go on and on but told him I didn’t need his help. He didn’t like that very much.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
I didn’t have work this afternoon because I had an appointment with Dr. Lewis. Dr. Lewis is by far my favorite doctor. He gets me, you know? And it’s so hard to find real friends. He says were not really friends, that we have a doctor/patient relationship. I think he’s just saying that so his other patients don’t get jealous. He has a really really nice house. I’ve never been inside, but he has huge hydrangea bushes. I told him he shouldn’t overwater. He told me not to come to his house ever again. That I was crossing lines. I mean, I was just trying to help! Give him some advice, the way he always helps me. His wife probably planted those years ago because if they were roses, they would’ve needed a lot more work.
I didn’t have work today but that didn’t stop Joey from calling to ask where I put the new inventory of tulips. I told him I used a wheelbarrow to bring them outside. That they would’ve wilted if I didn’t. He was really mad. Told me that the floor plan was set up for a reason. I apologized even though I really wasn’t sorry. Dr. Lewis always says that sometimes we have to do things we’re not comfortable doing. I hope I don’t have to do that too many times.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Today, I helped someone pick out the perfect perennials to plant in their brand new front yard. I wish we had a front yard. Grandma says we need to keep our gardening in the back, where no one could see us. She’s worried we might get in trouble which is just silly. It’s only some plants and dirt. What’s so wrong with that? But Grandma’s always been a worrier. It’s one of the reasons I never lie to her and try to tell her everything. Even the not-so-good stuff.
I’ve lived at Grandma’s house my entire life. I was sort of a surprise for my mom. I don’t think she really wanted kids. She said she didn’t even know who my dad was. She used to scream stuff like that when she had too much of the dark stuff and throw things around the house. That’s why Grandma and I spent so much time in the garden. Grandma’s the real reason why I got into plants and stuff. We’d spend hours in the backyard together, just me and her. Me and Grandma, we’re best friends. And best friends keep each other’s secrets. Mom didn’t want to be our friend. She didn’t want to be in on our secrets. And she was really mean to Grandma.
Anyway, I have to run. Still have schoolwork to do. Also, I have a surprise to tell Grandma.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Okay, so I wasn’t totally honest about the job. I mean, yes I’m excited to work at Home Depot, excited to finally have money, and yes, I love the discount. But that’s not the only reason I got that job, specifically.
See, Home Depot is in the Beach Shopping Center. And Lamar Howard works right across the way at Best Buy. It was easy to figure out where he works based off his TikToks. I mean, he took pics in his blue uniform. That’s as good as an announcement if I ever did see one.
I know what you’re gonna say but … it’s different this time. Really. We’re no longer in school together (he made sure of that with our little misunderstanding). And I’m still staying fifty feet away like I’m supposed to. But during my lunch breaks, I park just close enough that I can watch the Best Buy entrance, so that maybe I can catch a glimpse. Don’t worry, I’m being careful.
I did see that while I was away that Lamar took Brittney Shaw to prom. She looked pretty in her dress and her hair is growing back nicely. Like I told the principal Mr. Cunnings, it really was accident. Everyone knows chemistry is a really hard class and I wasn’t expecting the fire to shoot up so quickly. And, of course, I always carry pruning scissors on me, just in case I see any beautiful flowers on the way home from school. So really, I saved her. She would’ve been bald if I didn’t cut her ponytail before the fire burned it all off.
After all that, Grandma and Dr. Lewis thought it would be best to do school from home for a while. Which I guess is fine. Means I can spend more time in the garden with the people I love.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Work is SO awesome. Today I helped this old lady choose the right grass seedlings and convinced her to plant tulips rather than daisies. She was so grateful when I helped her load everything into her car that she gave me a tip. That happens a lot, people tipping me, telling me how great I am. Wish Lamar could see me the way others do. Maybe he wouldn’t be so mad at me anymore. Like I told him, Dr. Lewis and all the other doctors … it really was just a misunderstanding.
Only thing that sucks about work is my boss, Joey. Everyone is really nice to me. Except him. He thinks I shouldn’t be working there. I think he’s mad because I know more about gardening than he does. Hopefully I can just keep away from him.
Well, have to run. More tuna and pasta for me.
Oh. And I bought a new shovel. Grandma made me burn the last one.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
My boss is really really mean.
He threatened to tell my social worker that I’ve been taking extra-long lunches. It was just one time, and it was a total accident. See, I was up late working in the garden, and I fell asleep in my car. But then when I woke up, I saw Lamar in the parking lot, helping a customer load one of those huge flat TVs in the back of their car. It was too big for him to manage alone so I jumped out to help him. He freaked out. I tried to explain that I just happened to be nearby but he wouldn’t listen. I realized I was late for work so I ran away. Joey was waiting for me at the front door and said he was going to dock an hour of pay. It’s so not fair. I mean, it’s the first time it happened. But what could I do? I couldn’t tell him the real reason why I was late. He wouldn’t understand.
Tonight, the police called the house and asked what I was doing bothering Lamar again. Grandma is really worried now. She reminded me that he still has that restraining order but I measured it myself … Home Depot is way over the 50 feet distance required. Plus, I don’t want to go back to the hospital. It really sucks in there.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Today I tried to tell Dr. Lewis more about my garden but he kinda got upset at me first.
See, I just wanted to know if he ever found the dog he was looking for. They posted missing dog flyers all over his neighborhood. It was just an innocent question. He didn’t have to be so mean about it.
Then I told him how far my garden has come, and he got really quiet. He asked me more questions, about the roses, Lamar, and Grandma. He started to sound like some of the doctors from the hospital. I didn’t like that. It felt like he was … judging me when he’s supposed to be my friend.
We’re going to have to have a talk. But not now. Today, I picked up an extra shift at Home Depot. It can be really hard, trying to keep up with Lamar’s schedule.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Today at work, Joey was so annoying. Telling me I was taking too long with customers when I was simply just trying to help.
Then when I got home, Grandma found my empty pills bottle in the recycling. She asked me what I did with all the pills. I didn’t want to lie to her. I really didn’t. But those pills make me so tired. It’s hard to get off work and still have energy to work in the garden. And she of all people knows how hard gardening can be. Grandma tried to call Dr. Lewis but he hasn’t been returning any of her phone calls. Hope his wife and kids are okay.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Today … wasn’t a great day. When I got home from work, the police were waiting for me. They asked me a bunch of questions about Dr. Lewis. They say that I was the last patient he had seen before he disappeared.
I told them there must be some mistake. I still talk to Dr. Lewis, I have been for weeks. We still have our sessions virtually. Except, we don’t have a computer.
They started asking me more questions like who’s car I was driving and why I wasn’t in school. Then, they asked me where my mom was, and I told them she was in the garden. Grandma looked upset when I said that.
When they left, Grandma said that she wants to move. Go someplace far away, but I told her we couldn’t! I mean, who would take care of the garden if we’re gone?
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
I am so mad. It’s Joey again. He’s accused me of stealing a pair of hedge shears. Me? I mean, why would I steal something I already own. Besides, I promised Dr. Lewis that I wasn’t going to steal things anymore and I meant it. If it’s really mine, it would be mine.
Good thing I kept all the receipts of everything I bought in this journal. I knew it would help me out someday.
My mom used to steal a lot. Like I said, she really didn’t want to be a mom or even a daughter. She used to come and go as she pleased, stealing anything she could get her hands on for money, including Grandma’s social security checks. This went on for a while … until I stopped her.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
There’s a rumor going around work that I was in the crazy hospital. The only way they would know that is if a manager somehow read my file somehow. I think it was Joey, because he got in trouble for accusing me of stealing.
Dr. Lewis hates that term, crazy hospital. I don’t really mind it. I guess because I really don’t feel much of anything nowadays.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
There are so many ways you could kill someone with stuff at Home Depot. There are axes, hand saws, bolt cutters, machetes, sledgehammers, even cultivators if you’re desperate. Then when you’re all done, there’s rope, plastic tarps, shovels, gravel, mulch, concrete, and industry strength bleach.
I know I shouldn’t think this way. That it’s not right to think this way. But I can’t help it. I’m really just observant. At least I don’t say these things out loud anymore.
Yesterday, I decided that we should have a fire pit in the backyard. It’s probably going to be a lot of work but I can probably buy most of the stuff needed with my next paycheck. Grandma doesn’t want to help me. She just sit in the kitchen and cry. I wish she didn’t get so upset all the time.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Tonight, I told Grandma I wanted to plant more roses and she started crying, begging me not to. She keeps saying the garden is pretty enough, that we don’t need anymore. But I really want it to be beautiful. Because there just isn’t enough beautiful things in this world. I don’t know what she’s so upset about. I mean, I got my love of gardening from her. We both love roses so much.
Think I’m going to turn in early.
Later,
Leesa
Hey You,
Most of my shift are in the afternoons and on weekends. But Simon called out sick so they asked if I could cover his shift. I was so excited because that meant more money and a chance to see if Lamar would be at work today. But then that also meant I had to close the store with Joey.
He cornered me in the Bird feeder section. Saying that he knows the truth about me. About what I did to Lamar. I didn’t do anything to Lamar. Yes, I crawled into his window and was waiting for him to get home, but it was only because he said we would talk “Later.” I didn’t know what time later meant so I just decided to wait for him at home. I brought him some roses from my garden I cut earlier that day. I was so tired that I fell asleep in his bed. When he woke me up, I was so started that I swiped my pruning shears at him. It was an accident! I swear. But the police arrested me anyway. They didn’t believe me. That’s when I started seeing Dr. Lewis.
But Joey doesn’t understand all that. No one ever understands me. And you know what. I’m getting really tired of people not understanding me.
Hey You,
Joey was no call no show at work today. They sent someone to his house but he’s nowhere to be found. It was fun watching Joey’s every move these last few weeks. I knew from the very first day that he yelled at me that he would make perfect shitty compost for my garden.
I cut up Joey with the pair of hedge shears I found in his car. You know, the ones he accused me of stealing. It did a pretty good job, but I had to use my axe to chop up the rest of him.
Grandma hasn’t been feeling good. She says all the stress is hurting her heart. I told her to take one of my pills, that it would help calm her down but she said she’s already tried that. She also said that doesn’t want me to garden anymore. Grandma asked if I’m going to bury her in the garden. I told her she’s already back there. But I don’t want to think about her dying again. Not when she’s all I have.
Grandma kept talking louder and made me promise not to tell anyone about all the plants or I’d end up in jail again. She’s even making me stop journaling, just in case someone happens to find this book, so this is the last time I’m going to write to you. It’s fine. Without Joey, Dr. Lewis, or Lamar … life is kind of boring so I won’t have much to write about. Maybe we should move after all. Start fresh with a new garden. Maybe Grandma will finally let me have a front yard.
Later,
Leesa
Notes:
After the Nelson home was demolished to make room for a new city highway, developers made a startling discovery in the backyard of the once abandoned property. Human remains, ten bodies in total. To help identify the bodies, they dug up the remains of the previous homeowner, Gloria Nelson and found what appeared to be her granddaughters journal, buried beneath the rose bushes. Detectives were able to track Leesa Nelson, now age thirty-one, down to a nearby Home Depot in Florida, where she worked as an assistant manager. Her defense attorney submitted a plea of not guilty and claims the journal was fabricated.