“Missing Genius: Thirteen Years Later, Jakobi Warren Still Nowhere to Be Found.”
Posted: Tuesday, July 16, 2024 at 2:22 A.M.
Welcome back, ghoulfriends! Once again, it is I, William, Blog Master and purveyor of the ghastly and terrifying!!! Today’s post is special—because it marks the 13th anniversary of Jakobi Warren’s mysterious disappearance.
In 2005, Jakobi graduated with a film degree from Morehouse in Atlanta and went on to found Level 13 Studios two years later, which was headquartered on the 13th floor of an old office building on 13th Street in the city of his alma mater. He’d claimed in a press release that the naming of his studio was a jab at all the people who’d said he was a fool for starting a business in such an “unlucky” location. But maybe they were right—because four years later, Jakobi Warren disappeared without releasing a single film.
When Jakobi’s landlord went into the studio after Jakobi had been late with rent and utilities, he found the entire floor cleared, except for a single half wall set back from the elevator bank. On the wall hung 13 movie posters for 13 films that had never been seen by anyone but Jakobi. At the base of the wall sat a single cardboard box with 13 film reels and a note that read:
THE WHITE GUY DIES FIRST
—Jakobi
The back of the card read:
Inspired by real accounts of the supernatural.
Despite all the films being fully shot and edited, none of them were ever released. But here’s where it gets weird: A story leaked from within the local police department—they were investigating the disappearances of 13 actors, all white males between the ages of 16 and 60. I know what you’re probably thinking, Thirteen dead white guys—meh, but what’s truly interesting about that article was that every one of those missing actors had a starring role in one of Jakobi’s films. So what really happened to Jakobi and those white guys??? Some people have even gone so far as to suggest Jakobi murdered his own actors—onscreen and then in real life. Of course, all that attention led someone to track down and post Jakobi’s The White Guy Dies First collection online. But that was back in 2014.
I didn’t watch the collection until a few years ago, when I was 13—and that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. S/O to my dude Lex for sending me the link and convincing me to watch. Those films changed my life. They undeniably reset the horror canon for people of color, who, mind you, historically have had a really shitty time in that genre. But when I finished watching, my heart shattered into a bajillion pieces because I realized I’d never get to experience another Jakobi Warren film. And the world would never have another opportunity to explore another dark corner of his brilliant mind.
So where is he?
Well, the police officially closed the investigation into the 13 missing white guys back in 2015, because there was simply no evidence. It was like they all vanished into thin air. In a poof of privilege.
My love for Jakobi’s The White Guy Dies First collection was what originally got me into all things horror and why I started Ghoulfriends—so I could share my undying love for creepy shit with the world. So, tonight, as you read your scary books or watch a slasher or play that survival horror video game, take a moment to think about one of the greatest to ever do it: Jakobi Warren, Unsung Hero of the Horror Realm.
Until next time, ghoulfriends.
—William
Comments
oZZZie Oz: This is the worst blog ever. I miss when Tumblr had porn.
Blog Master Will: Blocked.
Will’s Mom: I love you, honey bunches of oats!
Blog Master Will: Blocked ♥.
(Anonymous User): He was racist and deserve to dissappeer. If white guy came up with a movie called black guy dies first, yall wud be mad!!!!!!
Blog Master Will: White guys already did that. They just weren’t bold enough to say it out loud.
Alpha of the Alphas: Bruh. You been at this for YEARS. Its a fool air and. You never gonna get famous off thiss weirdo shit. Give it a rest
Blog Master Will: *You’re
Blog Master Will: But I WILL be famous one day, and when that day comes, you’re still gonna be the same old troll who can’t spell, squatting on his parents’ wi-fi to bully strangers on the internet. Good luck with that. 
Blog Master Will: Oh, and BLOCKED. Obvi.
Jackie “Jumpscare” Jinkins: Ooo! FINALLY a *real* horror fan! This collection is so badass! What’s your favorite? Mine’s “The Golden Dragon.”
Blog Master Will: Hmm … It’s hard to pick a favorite. I love them all?
Debbie Cutwright: Jakobi Warren was a freak and a murderer.
Thee Horror Aficionado: Why are you so obsessed with this dude? He’s mediocre at BEST
Mikey Meiers: Yo! You ever hear about the collection of thirteen short stories that allegedly one of Jakobi’s interns wrote after the studio closed??? I might have a lead on where you can read them. DM me …
Blog Master Will: HO-LY SHIT. Say less.
Jackie “Jumpscare” Jinkins: It wasn’t just one intern, I don’t think?? I heard these stories were collected from a few different places, but no less cool.
Jackie “Jumpscare” Jinkins: Hey … uhhh … can I get in on those stories too???