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21

NOW – BRIELLA

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"Hey," Karen smiles, walking into the room I'm now set up in.

Alarick told them he'd be paying for the best of the best, and no cost would bother him, so I got put into a lovely room on my own. It's still a hospital room, of course, but it has a private shower, toilet, television and a spare bed for Alarick to sleep on when he wants to stay the night. It also has big comfy chairs by the small window.

It's nice, and it makes me feel safe.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, sitting up, my head aching.

"Well, your handsome guy told me that you're freaking out about them shaving your head, which I get, so he asked me to help. It just so happens," she leans down into her bag and pulls out some scissors and clippers, "that I did a hairdressing course once. I never decided to make a career out of it, but I can do a heaps better job than they can."

I swallow the tight lump in my throat, completely humbled by her kindness.

"Besides, I think you're going to look sexy with this style. I've seen girls with faces like yours rock it. It's the new thing, you know?"

I laugh softly. "If you say so."

"I promise this is going to look amazing. I asked the good nurse out there which side they're operating on, and I even got permission from your doctor to shave for you. So, are you ready for this?"

I climb out of bed slowly, and then walk over and stare at myself in the small round mirror hanging on the wall. I don't know if I'm ready, but I know I also have no choice. I run my fingers through my thick locks. I know it'll grow back quickly, I know that, but it doesn't make this any easier. Karen slides a comfy chair over, and I exhale, taking one last look before sitting on it.

"They've told me how far over I need to go, and luckily for you, it's not so bad. The doctors would have just shaved a patch, but nobody and I mean nobody, is leaving my girl with a patch of shaved hair on her head."

I laugh and fight back the tears. "Thank you," I whisper. "For doing this. It means so much."

"Honey, it's no trouble at all. It's the least I can do."

Karen prepares what she needs and then divides my hair neatly, where she will need to shave it. Then she takes the scissors and looks down at me. "You ready, honey?"

"I'm ready. Do it."

She cuts chunks from the side of my hair that has to go until it's as close to my scalp as she can get it, then she gets to work on trimming it all down with the clippers. She busies herself for a while, trimming and chopping. After about half an hour, she walks around in front of me, positioning the other side of my long hair over my shoulder, trimming up my fringe, and then saying, "Damn girl, you rock it."

I stand, shaking off some hair, and walk over to the mirror. I'm expecting to see some horrible looking person staring back at me, but she's right, it's kind of funky. The way she is has done it is so stylish, and I feel like I could actually get used to it. Karen has made it so my long hair comes over my forehead and then sweeps off to the side, so it looks lush and sexy. I look like someone from a magazine.

"Wow," I breathe.

"Of course, you're going to have a scar, and it'll look red and sore when you get your surgery, but I'm pretty confident we nailed it," she claps her hands.

"Fuckin' damn..."

I turn to see Alarick walking into the room, followed by Mykel, Kendric, and Sissy. His eyes are on me, and they're lusty in a way that makes my knees tremble. He walks over, taking my face in his hands and studying me. "You look fuckin' hot."

"You like it?" I whisper.

"Baby, I love it."

I smile and look over at Mykel and Kendric. Mykel walks over, grabbing me and pulling me into his arms. "You're fuckin' not going anywhere, girly. Do you hear me?"

"I'll try."

He pulls back and looks down at me. "Come out of this, okay. I need you to do that."

I smile up at him. "I promise I'll try."

Kendric walks over and gives me a grin, saying, "Alarick is right, you're rockin' it honey. He better watch out of we'll take you."

I laugh and shove his shoulder.

"Hey," Sissy says, her voice timid and low.

"Hey," I mutter.

I'm pissed at her. I can't lie. She is so backward and forwards, left and right, up and down...I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying. Sick of being kind to her. Sick of everything to do with her.

"Look, I shouldn't have let you get out of that car earlier. I didn't realize you were...sick."

"It doesn't matter," I say.

"It was the wrong thing to do."

I know Alarick would have torn her apart, which is the only reason she's saying sorry to me now, either way, I don't have time to focus on petty anger. This could be the last moments I have with any of them. My surgery is scheduled tomorrow morning, and I'm terrified.

"If you all don't mind, I'd like to spend the last few hours with Alarick," I say to them all, walking over to Karen and giving her a tight hug.

She squeezes me back. "Of course. I'm going to be waiting for the news. Be strong, honey."

I hug Mykel again. This time he hangs on a little longer. Then, I embrace Kendric. After that I stop in front of Sissy. "I know we don't see eye to eye, but one day, Sissy, I hope we can just get past this and be friends."

She nods, then in a soft voice, she says, "Good luck."

Then they're all gone.

I look to Alarick, and he walks over, leaning down to kiss me. "We're goin' to beat this, beautiful. Promise you."

I hope he's right.

God, do I hope he's right.

~*~*~*~

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"IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY," Alarick says, hanging onto my hand as the nurses wheel me to the operating room.

They've already given me drugs to make me sleepy, and I'm thankful because I was freaking the hell out. I panicked and wouldn't get on the bed, and was clinging to Alarick for dear life, crying, terrified I'd never see him again. Finally, he calmed me down, and they gave me something to help.

Now, I'm on my way into the OR.

I'll either come out of this okay, or I won't.

I have no idea which one is which. My doctor has been by, gone over the surgery with me moment by moment. I've signed forms, I've had blood tests, he's told me he's confident I'll be totally fine.

But, it's my brain, you know?

It's my brain that's about to be cut open, not only that, but I don't even know if I'm going to have some sort of cancer, or they might find something else.

I'm usually the toughest person in the world, but right now, without my mom or my sister, I feel so incredibly alone.

I don't want to die with so many unanswered questions.

"It's time for us to take her now.”

The nurse smiles at Alarick, and he turns to me. 

He smiles, and I try to implant it into my brain, just in case I come out of this not knowing who he is, or worse.

"I love you, Briella. Should have told you that a million times over, but I didn't. It's the truth, and I need you to remember it. I love you."

"I love you, too, Flick."

He leans down and kisses me, soft and gentle, probably the sweetest kiss he's ever given me.

Then I'm being wheeled away from him. A tear rolls down my cheeks, and I close my eyes, trying to stay calm.

Before I know it, we're in the operating room, and they're giving me the medicine that'll put me to sleep.

Thank god.

Thank the sweet lord.

I just need this to be over.

~*~*~*~

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MY EYELIDS FLUTTER open, and for a moment, I'm convinced I'm just waking up from a big nap. It takes me more than a minute to remember where I am, and it's only the nurse continually speaking to me, over and over, that has me coming to a little more.

"Hi, can you hear me?"

I blink a few times and stare at her. She's looking down at me with a smile on her face. Am I in heaven, is that what this is?

"Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

"I...I'm not sure," I croak.

"The surgery went well, and you're in recovery."

Wait.

I'm in recovery.

It went well?

If I had the energy to cry, I would, but I feel utterly exhausted. Like I want to go back to sleep and maybe stay that way for a solid few days.

"Alarick?" I croak.

"Here."

I turn my head to the side to see Alarick, fully dressed in scrubs, looking down at me with an expression I'll take to my grave. It's one of pure love and happiness and complete joy. "You did it, baby. You made it through."

"I did it," I croak. "I'm here?"

"You're here."

"I'm okay?"

"You're more than okay. You’re a fuckin’ champion."

The nurse smiles. "I'm just going to run a few tests, check her blood pressure. I won't be too long."

She straps on a blood pressure cuff, and then she takes my temperature, a few other little observations, and then she offers me some water in a cup with a straw. "Sip this very lightly, you're exhausted, and you're probably going to be in and out of consciousness for a few hours yet, but don't be alarmed. It's just the medicine we'll be giving you to keep your brain happy and comfortable. It was a big surgery, and we don't want to risk over-stimulating you. You need to rest."

I nod and close my eyes, feeling Alarick's hand in mine.

"Don't leave, Flick," I whisper.

"Won't leave. Here until you wake up again. Go to sleep. Everything is okay now."

Finally.

I drift back off into the darkness, feeling so light I could almost fly.

It could be the drugs.

Or it could be relief.

Either way, I'm totally fine with it.

~*~*~*~

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I WAKE AGAIN, ONLY this time I'm back in my room.

I have no idea how much I'm sleeping in between waking up and passing out again, but by the looks of it, it's dark outside. The operation was this morning, and I have no idea how long that took, so my guess is I've been sleeping most of the day. I don't mind, though, because it feels like I still need so much more.

I glance around the room, and I'm hooked up to machines still. I can see a large sign outside my room on the nurse's desk that reads ICU. I'm in the ICU for a few days. They told me I would be; they said it's because I need to be monitored around the clock, and then I'll be able to go back to the ward. I don't mind. I'm just so damned thrilled I got out of there alive.

Alarick isn't here, but I figure the poor guy had to go and eat or drink eventually. Maybe even sleep. I know he won't be far, I know he will be back.

"How are you feeling?"

I see an unfamiliar nurse coming into the room, smiling at me. "My name is Cheryl. How are you, Briella?"

"I'm okay," I croak. "Thirsty?"

She goes over to a little counter in the corner and pours me a glass of water, bringing it back. I carefully sip it as she takes all my observations before asking me, "How is your head feeling?"

"It feels fine, but I'm super groggy, so it's hard to tell."

"No pain? No strange sensations?"

I shake my head.

"That's wonderful. The doctor is on his way in now, he's going to discuss the surgery with you, but as far as I know, everything went well. You're recovering beautifully, and we're pleased with your progress."

"Thank you," I say, and I genuinely mean it.

"There's my most stubborn patient."

I glance over to see Dr. Peterson walking into the room. He's wearing scrubs, and he's smiling like he has had the best day ever.

"Dr. Peterson, hi," I say, my voice still sleepy.

"How are you feeling, Briella?"

"I'm feeling okay. Tired."

"That's to be expected. Are you able to move your legs and arms well?"

I move my legs and arms, flex my fingers, and curl my toes. Then I smile. "I'd say that's a yes."

He smiles back. "Wonderful, and you're feeling well? Nothing unusual happening?"

"No."

"Perfect. The surgery went well, we were able to remove the entire tumor, and you'll be pleased to know that I just got the results back that it's benign. You're cancer-free, your labs look great, and I think you're going to make a splendid recovery."

"Really?" I whisper, and my eyes burn with unshed tears.

"You're going to be fine. We're going to monitor you for a few years, just to make sure there is no regrowth, but I think you're going to be perfectly fine. Recovery will be at least six weeks, so in that time, you're going to have to take it easy, but after that you can resume your normal activities."

"Thank you so much," I smile, and I mean it.

Oh, do I mean it.

"You're very welcome. Now, get some rest. You're going to be quite tired until this time tomorrow, I'd imagine. Your lovely Alarick told me he's going to be back in an hour, he was just going to get something to eat, and if I didn't keep an eye on you, he'd make me wish I was never born."

I laugh softly. "He doesn't mean it, of course."

Dr. Peterson laughs. "He hasn't moved from your side. I think he's a good one."

The two of them leave, and I lean back into my pillow, feeling the most incredible amount of relief.

I drift back off to sleep once the nurse fills up my drip with the excellent pain killers once more.

This time, when I wake, it's to an extremely familiar voice.

My eyelids flicker open, and I stare up at...King.

Looking down at me is the man I considered a father for so many years.

His eyes are the same soft, yet hard, and his face slightly more aged, but equally as beautiful as the last time I saw him.

I must be dreaming.

The drugs are making me hallucinate.

"King?" I croak.

"How are you, sweetheart?"

His voice is soft and oh so familiar. My heart aches, because I've needed a parent, I've needed comfort, I've needed him. Our parting wasn't kind, but I can't deny that when I heard he had died, it broke my heart. It just broke me.

Wait.

He's dead.

This isn't real.

Damn you brain, for making me dream something I need so badly.

"You're dead," I whisper, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"No," he says, his voice a low whisper. "No, I'm not. It's a long story, but I need you to know that you're going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

"I'm dreaming," I croak.

He shakes his head, reaching down and placing something into my hand. I hold it up to see a necklace, one he gave me when I was younger, one I left behind when I ran away. One that meant so much to me. I curl my fingers around it.

"You're not dreaming. I'm here."

"H-h-h-how, I don't understand?"

"I can't tell you everything right now, but you gotta know that I have information about your momma. When I heard about Magnolia, I knew I needed to come back."

"You're...I don't understand."

"I'll tell you when the time is right. I just needed to see how you were. See you were okay. Don't tell Alarick I was here, you gotta promise me?"

"I don't understand," I say again, shaking my head slightly.

He cups my face; the same was Flick does. "You will, I promise you. For now, you have to pretend you never saw me. Okay? Can you do that for me?"

I nod, confused.

He leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. "You're going to be okay."

I close my eyes, and the drugs take over again.

I drift off into a fitful sleep.

~*~*~*~

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"HEY."

I open my eyes and see Alarick leaning over me, gently running his fingers down my face.

"Flick?" I croak.

"It’s me, baby. How are you?"

"I..."

King.

I open my eyes wider and glance around the room, but nobody is here.

Just Alarick and I.

"Was...was someone here?"

"Nobody, just me. You feelin’ okay?"

"Have you been here all night?"

He nods, but looks concerned. "What’s goin’ on?”

I look around again.

I must have been dreaming.

I must have been imagining it.

My heart hurts, just a little because part of me wishes it was real.

Part of me wishes he was here.

I have so much to be sorry for.

So much.

"I must have been dreaming," I whisper. “It’s nothing, just these good drugs.”

"Pretty normal, but if you start feelin’ weird you let the doctor know, yeah?"

I nod. “Yeah.”

Then he leans down and kisses my lips, his stubble scratching my cheeks in that way I love. "I'm goin' to get you something to eat, and some books to read, yeah? Anything else you want?"

"I...no. That's fine. Please, come back soon."

"Not leavin' you, baby. Promise."

I nod, and he turns and walks out, going to the cafeteria and bookstore to get some supplies.

I stare around the room again, and as I do, my hand brushes over something in my bed.

Narrowing my eyes, I slowly sit up and carefully pull back my sheets to see a necklace tangled up in them.

Shock rolls through my system as I lift the necklace and hold it in front of me.

It's my necklace.

The one King gave me in my dream.

The...

Oh god.

It wasn't a dream.

It...was real.

He was here.

He had to be.

He is the only one who would have this necklace.

But how?

I don't understand.

So many questions swirl around in my brain, and I can't make sense of a single one of them. Everything I thought I knew, just proved to be completely wrong. The secrets, the lies, the mysteries of my life are all suddenly being questioned again.

King knows something.

King has been hiding.

King isn't dead.

King...is alive.

TO BE CONTINUED....