4.

LEARN FROM KIDS AS THEY LIVE IN THE MOMENT

This strategy is workable whether or not you have children living at home, or even if you’ve never had kids of your own. You can spend time around other people’s children, or simply observe them at a local park. While it’s certainly not always true, for the most part children naturally live in the moment. This is especially true for younger kids.

To experience life in the “present moment” is not a mysterious endeavor, nor is it any big deal. Essentially, all it involves is putting less attention on worries, concerns, regrets, mistakes, “what’s wrong,” things yet to be done, things that bother you, the future, and the past. Living in the present simply means living life now, with your attention fully engaged in this present moment, not allowing your mind to carry you away to experiences removed from this moment. When you manage to do this, you not only enjoy the moment you are experiencing to the fullest extent possible, you also bring out the best in your performance and creativity because you are far less distracted by your wants, needs, and concerns.

Happy people know that regardless of what happened yesterday, last month, years ago—or what might happen later today, tomorrow, or next year—now is the only place where happiness can actually be found and experienced. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you aren’t affected by, or that you don’t learn from, your past—or that you don’t plan for tomorrow (or for retirement and so forth), only that you understand that your most effective, powerful, and positive energy is the energy of today—the energy of right now. When you’re bothered or upset, it’s usually over something that is over or something else that is yet to be.

Children intuitively understand that life is a series of present moments, each meant to be experienced wholly, one right after another, as if each one is important. They immerse themselves in the present and offer their full attention to the person they are with. I remember an endearing incident that occurred five or six years ago. My wife and I had hired a baby-sitter to watch our then two-year-old while we went out for the evening. My daughter and I were playing in her sandbox, having a great time together, when the sitter arrived. As I stood to leave, my daughter let out a fierce scream of disapproval. It was as if she were saying, “How dare you interrupt our fun together!” She yelled and screamed and complained that she didn’t want the sitter—it had to be me. But, shortly after we “escaped,” I realized that I had forgotten my car keys and I went inside to get them. I peeked out the back door and saw that my daughter was all smiles and laughter, playing, once again, in the sandbox. She was absorbed in her beautiful present moments. She had completely let go of the past—even though the past was only a few minutes old.

How often does an adult effectively do that? A psychologist or cynic might say she was being manipulative toward me—and there may be a grain of truth in that assumption. However, a happy person would recognize that she was simply voicing her strong objection in one moment and then moving on to the next. Once I had left the scene, she freely returned her focus to the here and now—an excellent lesson for us all.

As you take this strategy to heart, you will discover that being able to immerse yourself in the present moment is a worthwhile quality to strive for. Doing so gives you the capacity to experience ordinary events in an extraordinary fashion. You will spend far less time being bothered by life, while spending more time enjoying it. You’ll spend less energy convincing yourself that right now isn’t good enough and more time enjoying the special moment you are in—this one.