18.

MAKE LIGHT OF BEING OVERWHELMED

The other day, my wife, Kris, and I broke out into one of those belly laughs—the kind where you’re laughing so hard that you start to cry. Kris said something to the effect of “This has got to be some sort of a divine joke.” She was referring to the fact that the two of us had spent several hours picking up the house, putting things away, organizing, and so forth. But, despite our valiant, focused efforts, it was obvious that we were actually moving backward!

No, we’re not incompetent. In fact, we’re both quite skilled (and practiced) at keeping things clean and neat. The fact was, however, that each of our children had a friend over. One of the kids had tracked mud through our kitchen while Kris was busy cleaning out the closet. (The guilty party had obviously forgotten our “shoes off” policy.) A couple of other kids had been trying to get something out of our daughter’s closet when—bam—half the toys fell all over the floor. Meanwhile, I was up in the attic attempting to put into boxes some things we were going to give away, when my foot went right through the floor, creating a large hole in the ceiling of the room below. There seemed to be chaos in every room. It was clearly “one of those days.” You’ve undoubtedly had similar experiences at your home.

At times like these, it’s tempting to get really serious and upset. For many of us, there’s an almost certain knee-jerk reaction of telling yourself how unfair life is and convincing yourself how useless your efforts are. Frequently, during stressful and frustrating times like these, we mentally review how many times this has happened in the past and how likely it is to occur in the future. Needless to say, however, none of this mental rehearsal does the least bit of good.

One of the more effective ways of dealing with being overwhelmed is to step back from the situation and see the humor. As Kris pointed out, “If someone were secretly watching this scene, they would be in hysterics, laughing at us!” It was at that point that we both lightened up about the whole scenario.

Does this mean we didn’t care about the mess? Absolutely not. If anything, Kris and I are neat freaks. Both of us prefer and love a clean, orderly home. There are times, however, when you simply don’t have control over your environment—especially if you have one or more children. Sometimes there are too many people in your living space, or too many things going on, or not enough time, or whatever. This isn’t to suggest you shouldn’t try, only to remind you that you’re only human. There is just so much a person can do.

When you attempt to see the humor in your fruitless efforts, it takes the pressure off feeling as though you have to be perfect, or that you have to maintain a perfect house. Instead of scrambling out of frustration to “get it all done,” you might be able to come to peace with the fact that, even if you dust the last table, it will probably be dusty again in a day or so. Humor doesn’t keep your house clean or organized, but it does give you perspective and make you feel better. Without minimizing its importance, it does remind you not to take your chores and responsibilities too seriously.