DON’T BE RAMBUNCTIOUS AROUND YOUR GRANDMA, SHE’S A LITTLE TIRED THIS MORNING

What in heaven’s name is strange

about a grandmother dancing nude?

I’ll bet lots of grandmothers do it.

—Sally Rand at seventy-one

Night is when the grannies dance,

Late toward dawn when juniors sleep.

Quietude and greys enhance

A nude grandmother’s dip and sweep.

In heaven’s name and heaven’s eyes,

Nothing’s strange; what would surprise

Us here where none see Grandma bare

Is taken on its merits there.

Saints beam out from glowing bushes,

Cherubs twitch congenial tushes,

Hermits turn from festive fasts

To view the old ecdysiasts.

Naked as the day, they’re borne

Up through negligees of cloud.

How life’s made you isn’t porn.

They’ve transcended “well endowed.”

Bobbly dancers, or thin as fans,

No body stemmed or globed the same.

Every mother’s mother sans

Stays, stockings, station, shame.

How transported Larchmont’s Mrs.

R. Coles Trowbridge, Sr., is! Is

There a soul back home who’d know her?

Grannies samba, wheel and soar,

Spin, unwind, then gather, knitting

In the altogether fitting

Gram finale curtain: rich

In folds without a single stitch.

One more time! The Granny Ramble!

Stirred-up unborn lambkins gambol!

Wide-eyed stars neglect their twinkles!

Grannies show them all some wrinkles!

Then they slide down pearly ramps

Back to unsuspecting Cramps

Or (if he’s gone, he’s up there crying

“Encore!”) one more hour of lying

Solo. Then … get up, get clad,

Get peevish, restless, rattled, harassed.

“Grandma,” people say, “looks sad.”

She’s itching to be hoofing bare-assed.