Questions are based on what you should have learned from the New York Times by the end of any given week in 1979, if you were paying that newspaper the attention it expects. Answers appear on pages 260–262.
1. A member of Israel’s negotiating team raised new hopes for the Mideast peace talks in the face of growing tensions. What is his name, what names was he called in the Knesset, and what new tensions caused him to withdraw, the following day, his growing hopes?
2. The mystery of plant life’s interaction with animal life has been deepened by researchers at Fordham University. What is the mystery? Name five plants and four animals.
3. The man pictured on page 258 seems to have everybody in America (except, of course, anyone in a position of real authority at the Times) buffaloed. Who is he and what is his charm?
4. The mood in Sri Lanka is more pensive now. Explain.
5. “We have flatly denied that we plan to take over Holland and I can confirm that,” says a high-ranking official of a major nation. What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?
6. The State Comptroller’s office in Albany has revealed that the disbursing procedures of 71 departments of the New York City government are being placed under tighter scrutiny. Who is the State Comptroller? Where is Albany? Is it up around Lake George somewhere? Up around Cornell? Where is Cornell?
7. There is a worldwide shortage of (breath/gasoline/people/time).
8. In a midyear economic review, the Carter administration forecast that over the next six months the price of gas could go as high as $4.97 a gallon, unemployment could rise to 38 million and inflation could climb to 42.3 percent without its being whose fault?
9. The Pffowles-Sargeaunt system of orthography, according to which Iranian names have been converted to English spelling since 1934, is being replaced by a more accurate system, whereby “Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini” will be rendered as “I.O. Tolaruhola O. Maney,” Prime Minister “Mehdi Ba-zargan” as “Idhem Nagrazab,” and Brig. Gen. “Saif Amir Ra-himi” as “Bear Man Jackson.” Where did they ever dig up Pffowles and Sargeaunt?
10. Among the various consultants in different fields summoned by President Carter to Camp David for his latest summit session on the energy problem was (Ralph Bellamy/Joseph Gargan/Bernard L. Barker/Norman Vincent Peale).
11. According to (C. L. Sulzberger/William Safire/Arthur Daley/Mimi Sheraton), the inane hypocrisy of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare’s antismoking campaign is revealed by its peculiar refusal to follow the tangent of “the smoking Lancegate pistols packed by Puffabilly the Kid Brother and the Loan Arranger.” Can you spot and name all the rhetorical devices employed?
12. An increasingly popular means of enhancing the fun of camping out is Portacoals, a carry-along low campfire (can be set to glow or smolder) in an eye-pleasing off-red Bakelite case. It is $69.50 at what East Side shop?
13. The man below has been sliding in the polls. Who is he, what is his job and whose idea was he in the first place? Name three good places within the bounds of New York City where the increasingly popular pastime of sliding in the polls may be enjoyed.
14. John Leonard was bemused in his garden, “growing tensions,” when he and Dmitri got each other in a sort of mutual hammerlock and had to be prized apart by a vaguely, multiply allusive remark. What was the remark? How would you have answered it? Would it have prized you and either Leonard or Dmitri apart?
15. President Carter said he plans to whip a portion of Sen. Edward Kennedy’s anatomy. Do you know what portion? If you do, if in fact you are aware that any hint of anatomy was involved, then you have been reading some other newspaper. Why? Don’t you like the new Science section? There was something fascinating in there about anatomy just last Tuesday. How did you like that? Didn’t you see it? Didn’t you even look at the graphs?
16. As a matter of fact, your name was on page A4, column 3, last week. We haven’t heard anything from you about it. Did you miss it? Why? Don’t you read the first section of the paper? That’s where the hard news is. Don’t you enjoy hard news? The Times has to have some hard news. Why do you read this quiz and don’t read the news? Do you read this quiz? Does anybody? Anybody who is upscale? Should we offer prizes?
Questions appear on pages 257-260.
1. The entire Asian landmass.
2. Coriander, minced.
3. A human heart. The transplant, made possible through the use of deductible corporate jets, two bright red fire engines and the combined efforts of Rhodesian and South Carolinian surgical and negotiating teams, did little to alleviate growing tensions.
4. Matisse.
5. Twice. Smallpox. A panel on coal.
6. Franz Josef Strauss was chosen as the opposition’s candidate for chancellor in the 1980 elections. The day before, he had been ejected for punching a referee during his team’s victory over the Virgin Islands. The referee had made a slighting reference to “The Blue Danube Waltz,” by Strauss.
7. Mr. Pol Pot.
8. In the first two cases the Court brought in decisions of ejectamus manus nostra, or “we throw up our hands.” In the third ruling, the Court upheld sweeping federal procedures for disclosure of news photographers’ wisecracks.
9. “The wartime equivalent of morals.”
10. Misses Capelius and Puhl.
11. Soft leathers, patent leathers, suede, snakeskin, and metallic vinyl, with covered buckles, and buckleless versions of stretchy elasticized fabrics. Reds, purples, hot pinks, and yellows.
12. Loss of U.S. aid over car fumes.
13. Near Kalgoorlie, Australia, because of cracks in the Backfire bomber’s underwing engine mounts, or pylons, which an emerging congressional consensus proposes to remedy by attachment of clarifying riders or “understandings” which could seriously increase U.S.–Soviet tensions in light of the 78-degree cooling limit in public buildings this summer.
14. If Mr. Brown is the engineer, and the engineer’s son is wearing yellow trousers, and the brakeman is not named Mr. White, then the fourth passenger from the left must be the one with the sandy beard, which makes Mr. Black the son of the uncle’s wife.
15. The rebel junta will not be recognized as such until it withdraws its demands.
16. Feet.