I arrived back at the farmhouse just after five. Alice had dropped me off at the end of the lane, leaving us to enjoy the last few minutes of daylight as I bumped Hope’s pushchair the short distance up to the yard. Daniel’s Jeep was parked in its usual place, and the cosy glow of lights from the hallway welcomed us back. Unclipping Hope and shrugging her out of the orange snowsuit, I expected Daniel to appear any second – or at least to call hello. Instead, I found him in the study. He was stretched out across the sofa, top two shirt buttons open to reveal a smattering of chest hair, one shoe kicked off, the other still dangling precariously from the end of his foot. One arm splayed out into open space, he looked as though he’d fallen asleep mid-air. His features had softened in sleep, the pucker between his brows smoothed out and his mouth carrying the hint of a smile. I could see Charlie there, only, perhaps Charlie on a bad day. His complexion was stark against unruly dark hair, the shadows from the sidelamp emphasising hollows beneath his cheekbones. He looked like a man with seven months’ worth of sleep to catch up on.
It was nearly nine by the time he appeared, skidding into the kitchen in his socks, hair gloriously dishevelled, one side of his shirt hanging out.
‘Eleanor! Hi!’ His scrunched-up eyes darted around the kitchen.
‘She’s out for the count,’ I replied, unable to keep from smiling.
‘She’s okay? Everything went okay? Has she had her milk, and bedtime porridge?’ he gabbled, eyes still searching for evidence.
‘Yep.’
‘You didn’t give her a bath? Because she’d be fine with a clean nappy and change into a sleepsuit.’
‘She had a bath. We splashed and sang and squirted her blue whale. It was a very lovely time. And then a story, milk and she settled straight down.’
He stared at me, this new information flitting across his face like data on a computer screen. ‘Why… why didn’t you wake me?’
‘You looked like you needed the sleep.’
‘But you’ve had her all day.’
‘It was fine. We enjoyed it. Here.’ I fetched a bowl and scooped out a ladleful of minestrone from the pot simmering on the stove. ‘This is what real soup tastes like. And there’s fresh bread on the table.’
After a few seconds of him staring at me, I placed the bowl on the table and pulled out his usual chair, before coming to sit down opposite.
‘Wine?’ I asked indicating my half-finished glass.
‘I’ll get myself a beer in a moment,’ he said, slowly, picking up a spoon and eyeing the soup as though he didn’t know where to start.
I got up and went to the fridge, twisting off the top of a beer and placing it in front of him.
‘I can fetch my own beer.’ He looked up, frown firmly back between his eyebrows.
‘I’m aware of that.’ I shrugged.
‘You’ve done more than enough for me today.’
I took a nonchalant sip of wine. ‘I don’t understand why you sound angry about that.’
That was a teensy fib. I did understand, but I wanted him to acknowledge it.
‘I’m not angry. I’m just… uncomfortable. I didn’t need you to bath Hope and put her to bed. You should have woken me up. And now you’ve made soup and baked bread and you’re handing me beer. I really appreciate you watching her, but I don’t need you to step in and start mothering me. We can manage fine. We have been – we are – coping fine. If I was a woman, no one would think twice about whether I could balance a job and a baby and then cook myself dinner at the end of the day. Single women do it all the time. Why is it that because I’m a man, because I’m not Hope’s biological dad, people assume I can’t do this, that I need help?’
‘Daniel, it’s quite clear that you can do this. Even if it is grinding you into a total wreck. Although plenty of single parents have cleaners. And childcare! I didn’t help because you needed me to, I put Hope to sleep because it was one of the loveliest things I’ve got to do in months. Years, probably. I love cooking. And I didn’t bake the bread, I got it from the Co-op. They sell fresh food over on the New Side, did you know that?’
‘What, you went to New Side?’ Daniel took a long swig of his beer to alleviate the shock.
‘Yes. And we survived.’
‘You took Hope to New Side?’ His voice had risen a few notches. Another swig.
‘I thought you were neutral in the Feud of Ferrington.’
He shrugged. ‘No one’s really neutral.’
‘Well, I am.’ I gave him a pointed look. ‘Anyway, what I was saying is, I loved helping. But there’s more to this. I’ve been freeloading off you for over a week now, eating your food and using up your hot water. I think we need to talk about what happens next.’
He put down his spoon and looked at me steadily. ‘I said you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.’
‘That’s ridiculous. You don’t even know me.’
‘I know that you left London in the middle of the night and drove through a storm to get here with nothing but a few jumbled bags of clothes, even though you’d not heard from Charlie in well over a year. So, whatever the reason for that might have been, unless it might follow you here, or if there’s any possibility I might end up in trouble for harbouring a criminal… Apart from that…’ He paused to glance at me then, and to my shame, I simply nodded. ‘You can stay here as long as you need to.’
‘Thank you.’ I swiped at the tears now spilling over onto my cheeks, and Daniel gave a small smile to show that he knew how much I meant it. ‘But if I’m going to stay then we need to work something out. Rent. Bills. Food.’ I offered a figure that seemed reasonable, and to my surprise, he nodded his agreement.
‘Fine. But if you’re going to continue acting like my housekeeper and Hope’s impromptu nanny, then I need to pay you.’ He quirked one eyebrow before, predictably, offering me almost twice the amount I’d offered to pay in rent.
‘No.’ I shook my head.
‘If you’re going to insist on me paying you mate’s rates, then I’m going to charge you mate’s rates.’
‘How about we call it even? It’s exactly what Charlie would have done.’
Daniel finished off his drink while he thought about that.
I took a fortifying breath. ‘Or… I have another proposition for you. Another idea of Charlie’s…’
And then I got out the notebook, and it was a good job Daniel took that extended nap because by the time we finished talking it was hardly worth going to bed.