“W-What?”
Rob took in Lizzy’s—no—Elizabeth’s stunned expression, but if a little trickery was required to get Mama off his case, he wasn’t too proud to stoop to it. Last night had been an evening of enjoyment right up there with a toasty visit to Hades. He had no intention of repeating it. Ever.
“That seems like a more than fair trade,” the young guy Nick said to her.
The Frenchman nodded his approval.
Only the blonde looked dubious.
As for Elizabeth, she opened her mouth several times but not a single word emerged after that first “What?” This surprised him. Here was, after all, the woman who apparently could talk up a firestorm without stuttering when among her friends…
He grimaced. So she thought he had a hot body, huh? Wasn’t that always the case with the Wilmington Bay crowd? Rob the Hunk. Rob the High-School Football Star. Rob the Popular Guy. Just about anything but Rob the Intelligent. Hell, he’d even settle for Rob the Occasionally Bright. But it was always about his body and his face, never about his mind.
Which hurt sometimes. Especially when he was trying to talk to a woman as smart as Elizabeth Daniels.
“So, what do you say?” he asked her. “Do we have a deal?”
“I-I—”
“Of course you do,” Nick said for her. “Why don’t you leave right now, Elizabeth, and get back to typing?”
The blonde started to speak, but Elizabeth stopped her. The ladies did some eye-contact thing and Gretchen said, “Elizabeth?”
Elizabeth said, “B-B-Bye e-everyone.” She waved and headed for the door. Always one for abrupt departures.
“Pick you up here at five-thirty sharp,” he called after her. She shot him a worried parting glance, but she nodded.
“L-Later,” she said, but he wasn’t sure if she was talking to him or addressing Team Tutti-Frutti.
The moment she was out the door, Gretchen started whispering to Jacques rapidly and, it seemed, in code because he couldn’t figure out from their words why Gretchen was acting so panicky. He might’ve gone ahead and asked her if their first customer of the day hadn’t shown up.
“Roberto Gabinarri? Is that really you?” his mother’s favorite hairstylist said. “Just look at how you’ve grown up. Such a fine young man.” She sparkled at him and, yes, actually pinched his cheek.
He heard Nick stifle a laugh before the Frenchman said to him, “C’mon, Nick. It’s Gretchen and Rob’s shift now. You promised to help me with the Grand Marnier tortes.”
“Okay,” he said to Jacques. “Need to be at Jason’s Joint in two hours, though.” Then, to Rob, “See you later, man. I’ve got some football questions for you this afternoon.”
“All right,” he said, turning his attention back to Mama’s hairstylist and to Gretchen, who lobbed an ice cream scoop at him, and none too gently either.
***
Elizabeth stared at her iMac’s blue screen, heaved in gulps of air (in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent hyperventilation) and mentally retraced the past half hour for evidence of personal psychosis. Dinner with his family? Good heavens, how could she have let that happen?
Her cell phone rang. Gretchen.
“Oh, God, Elizabeth! I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop it. I’m going to wring Nick’s neck later. There’s no way you have to go through with this. We’ll think of something to get you out of—”
“Where are you?” Elizabeth asked her. “I thought you were working this shift?”
“I am,” her friend said. “I told the Hot Calzone that I needed a bathroom break. Look,” she said, lowering her voice, “I can see why you get tongue-tied around him. He’s pin-up-boy gorgeous.”
Elizabeth groaned. “He’s a scheming deviant.”
“That, too,” Gretchen said.
“And he wants something—something more than a live body to take along to dinner at his mother’s house—b-but I don’t know what it is yet.”
“We’ll find out.” She paused. “Elizabeth, I know this all has you rattled, but there’s no reason we can’t come up with some excuse for you to skip tonight. People get sudden cases of the measles or rheumatic fever or Asiatic flu or…or elephantiasis without warning, all the time probably.”
“Elephantiasis?”
“Or something,” Gretchen insisted. “My point is, you can come down with a contagious disease almost immediately. I can ring up my brother and ask him to give me a list of really vile-sounding symptoms. In fact, he’s on call at St. Andrew’s right now and I’ll bet he knows—”
Elizabeth sighed. “Thanks, Gretchen, but you know I can’t.”
“Why not? Rob tricked you. That’s…that’s entrapment. And, anyway, Nick was the one who said yes for you. You didn’t say anything. You never actually agreed.”
“Quite true, literally, but my silence was my agreement. And I nodded. And I left. Not staying to work my shift confirmed my acceptance of the terms of his deal, however bizarre. So, even if this means long years of psychotherapy are in my future, I do have to go tonight. But just tonight.” Unless…did Rob mean for this to last longer than one night? The very thought made her shudder.
“But Eliz—”
“Look, you know I need the writing time, Gretchen. For all of our sakes.”
“Damn. That’s the real reason you did this, isn’t it? You agreed for us. That’s why you didn’t say anything to him.”
“I didn’t say anything to him because my throat closes up like the space inside a cream-filled donut whenever I’m around him. And I need the cookbook to succeed as much or more than you or Jacques or Nick do,” she said, which was the truth. “I’ll be all right for an evening,” she added, which was a monstrous lie.
There was a long pause. “Thanks, Elizabeth.”
“You’re welcome. Now, I have to get back to work, and so do you.” For good measure, Elizabeth made a few clicking noises on her computer keyboard.
“Okay, but one more thing—”
“Yeah?”
“If he tries any fresh moves on you, just tell me,” Gretchen said. “I’ll have him bound and gagged so fast he won’t know what hit him.”
Elizabeth laughed and hung up. How could she tell Gretchen that doing this very thing to Rob had been the cornerstone of many of her high school fantasies? Rob bound. Rob gagged. Rob all hers.
She rested her head on her arms, thought about the terror-inducing event that stretched out before her tonight and began hyperventilating in earnest again.
***
Five-thirty wasn’t The Witching Hour in anybody’s book, but Elizabeth decided it ought to be renamed.
She dressed carefully and conservatively in a pale pink shirt and dress slacks, adding a light summer sweater to camouflage the inevitable sweat rings that would come from nervousness not high temperatures. Then she packed herself and the pastries she was bringing into her Camry, drove over to Tutti-Frutti with all of forty seconds to spare and eased her way out of the car.
“Perfect timing,” Rob said, emerging from the sweets shop before she had a chance to change her mind and speed away. “I’m parked across the street.”
“H-How did the shifts g-g-go?”
He took her elbow and led her toward his sporty red car. Her pulse shot up to well over a hundred, and it surely had nothing to do with taking her first ride in a Porsche.
“Awesome,” he said. “People were real friendly and had lots of questions about our uncles. They wanted to know where in Europe they were headed, what kinds of sites they’d planned to see, and I told them I’d have to ask you because you’re the keeper of all those details.” He grinned at her, opened the passenger’s door and continued his monologue. “Oh, yeah. And the florist was back for a repeat of yesterday’s double scoop. And I had an interesting conversation with your friend Jacques about the making of éclairs. He promised to bring me a sample to taste tomorrow.”
“D-Did he?”
Good heavens. Jacques must’ve really taken a liking to the guy if he offered freebie treats to a non-chef. She glanced at the man sitting next to her as he put the car into gear. So confident. So smooth. So very charming. It was no wonder Rob Gabinarri wormed his way into everyone’s good graces. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be that comfortable in her own skin. A virtually impossible daydream.
“Yes, indeedy,” he said. “Oh, and I gathered, after talking with Jacques, that Gretchen is some kind of sorceress with truffles.” He nodded in her direction but didn’t actually require her response, for which she was grateful. “My buddy Miguel in Chicago has a real sweet tooth, so he’s always bringing in new desserts for me to try. Plus, he makes a wicked Mexican Hot Cocoa—with cinnamon and chili pepper and a bunch of other things I can never keep straight. Man, I tell you, it is spicy, but one of the most magnificent creations imaginable on a freezing January morning when the wind chill is twenty below.”
She swallowed, trying to channel “winter” but not succeeding. Even with the cool breeze blowing through the car window, she was broiling. Her body temperature must be hovering somewhere dangerously high. And, jeez, she didn’t even want to know her blood pressure.
Rob yakked about the parade of thrilled visitors who entered and exited the shop, about the delightful summer weather, about how refreshing it was to be in a small town again (albeit briefly) after the frenzy of a metropolis, and he jabbered on about fifty other things during the winding drive to his mother’s house. Stream-of-conscious chatter.
Except…
Well, she almost missed it, but she didn’t. She tried to ignore it, but she couldn’t. Rob talked twenty miles a minute, fast enough to do a snow job on a polar bear, except there was something in the cast of his expression that seemed to do battle with his words. The set of his jaw, maybe. The cloudiness in his eye. Whatever it was, Elizabeth got the distinct impression that all was not as amusing or as agreeable as it seemed. But, for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t be. Rob lived a charmed existence. Only, by the time they’d parked in front of his mother’s two-story Colonial, she was convinced he didn’t think so.
“W-Why did y-y-you ask me here?”
A trace of panic flashed across his face then disappeared. He shot her one of his oh-so-divine grins. “Mama said she hadn’t seen you since you were a little girl and, when I told her we were working together at the shop, she said it would be so nice to have Siegfried’s niece over to dinner.” He patted her hand. “And I really appreciate that you came, too.”
This time she didn’t get blown off course by his touch. Well, she did, but she also kept her focus on his face. Rob Gabinarri was hiding something. If only she could articulate her questions, she could get to the heart of it.
But, before her lips could form the words, Alessandra Gabinarri came bustling out of the house.
“Roberto!” she cried, arms flung open. “Little Lizzy, all grown up!”
Elizabeth glanced at Rob and he studied her face for a moment. He looked surprisingly serious. Contemplative.
“She likes to be called Elizabeth,” he told his mother as they got out of the car and he handed over the bottle of red wine (from him) and the box of pastries (from her). “And I’m Rob, remember?”
The large woman wrapped Elizabeth up in her ample arms and squeezed her before planting a kiss on either cheek. “Welcome, Elizabeth,” she said. Then she embraced her son in a similar manner. “Your brother and his family are here.” She eyed the two of them. “Show her around the house and the garden, Roberto. Dinner will be on the table in ten minutes.”
“Sure, Mama,” he said. “And everyone calls me Rob now.”
His mother shrugged. “I named you. To me, you’re Roberto. Live with it.” Then she grinned at them and went inside.
“Impossible woman,” he muttered, but Elizabeth heard the affection in his voice.
They ambled around the yard for a few minutes as Rob pointed out the fruit trees and various flowers his mother took pride in. Elizabeth thought of her own mom, who’d loved to plant her annual vegetable garden. And not just tomatoes and cucumbers either. Weird stuff. Eggplant. Summer squash. Rutabaga. The dreaded okra. A pang of longing swept over her again. How she’d love to make just one more phone call to her mom to chat about the merits of harvesting sweet fruits versus bitter veggies.
“Gotta warn you,” Rob said as they headed toward the house and passed by a prominent Mother-and-Child stone statuette. “Mama’s really big into the whole Madonna thing, so don’t be too shocked when we get inside.”
Elizabeth understood the allure of religion and knew how prayerfully many Catholics regarded the Virgin Mother. She gave him a solemn nod and walked through the backdoor.
Rob wasn’t lying. There were Madonna images everywhere… The pop singer Madonna. On refrigerator magnets. Tacked to the pantry door. A huge glossy poster of the singer, circa 1984, dressed in white lace and ruffles in the foyer.
Rob nodded. “See. She’s almost a groupie. ‘Like a Virgin’ is still her favorite song.”
Elizabeth stood in place and laughed.
“What?” he said. “Some people are Elvis fanatics and my dad used to think the Beatles were the best band since—”
“No, Rob. I-I just thought you meant your mom was really into the Holy-Mary-Mother-of-God Madonna, not the Kabbalah-practicing-ex-wife-of-Guy-Ritchie Madonna.”
Now he laughed. “Well, she thinks highly of them both, but none of us are real clear on the Virgin Mother’s singing voice, so…”
Their gaze met and the strangest thing happened. A look passed between them—a knowing, conspiratorial look—one tinged with laughter and camaraderie. Elizabeth’s heart leapt.
A lanky guy, who could only be Rob’s younger brother Tony, peered around the corner at them. He’d been a sophomore when they were high school seniors and had grown about seven inches since she’d last seen him. He stepped forward. “Roberto!” he said.
“Antonio!” Rob said back with raised eyebrows.
“Okay, let’s cut the crap,” Tony said. “Promise to call me Tony tonight. No more taking Mama’s side like you did yesterday.”
“Golden Rule, bro,” Rob said to him.
“Yeah, I know.” Tony slapped his back and turned to Elizabeth. “Hey, Lizzy. Or—sorry—Mama said it was Elizabeth now. Great to have you here.”
“Th-Thanks.”
“You’ve got to meet my wife Maria-Louisa. She’s in the basement with the kids but they’ll be up any minute.” And he launched into a story about something one of his boys did in school last month with a jar of black ants…and how the teacher had been wary of him ever since…and how the woman must surely be counting the hours until school got out for the summer.
Another gabby Gabinarri.
Then, before Elizabeth knew what was happening, she got tossed into a whirling, swirling tornado of gabby Gabinarris. A pack of them—four, no five children—emerged from the basement and descended upon Tony and Rob and her, too, followed by a petite woman about Tony’s age (Maria-Louisa, no doubt) with a bright smile and, evidently, an unlimited supply of energy.
“Time for dinner,” the family’s matriarch called from the kitchen. And, at those words, the tornado spun toward the dining room.
Elizabeth looked long and hard at Tony’s wife and her pounding heart eased at the sight. That must be heaven, 3-D and in full color. Being the mother to a troupe of exuberant children who loved her unconditionally, and whom she could love in return. When Elizabeth was around kids, all of her self-consciousness drifted away. Children were real and open and honest. They didn’t hide their emotions or play games with hers. She bit her lip. If only immaculate conceptions were possible in this modern age.
“Elizabeth,” Rob and Tony’s mother said. “Please sit here.” She pointed to a chair across from Rob and in between two of the Gabinarri youngsters: A dark-haired, giggling Camilla and a sandy-haired, hiccupping Sammie.
“Hi!” Sammie said to her. Hiccup. “I’m five.” Hiccup. He covered his mouth, his eyes bugging out with laughter and the astonishment of a bodily process that couldn’t be controlled. “How old are you?” Hiccup.
“T-Twenty-seven,” she said. “Almost twenty-eight.”
“Oooh!” Camilla said. “So, you get to have a birthday soon.”
Sammie hiccupped again.
“I just turned seven three weeks ago,” Camilla added. “When’s yours?”
“In July,” Elizabeth admitted. “The fifth. The day after Independence Day.”
Hiccup. “Cool,” Sammie said. “My birthday’s not—” Hiccup. “Until November. That’s too far away.”
Elizabeth smiled at him then snatched a glance at Rob. He was staring at her curiously.
“This is my sister-in-law Maria-Louisa,” he said as the petite woman sat down.
“Nice to meet you, Elizabeth,” Tony’s wife said. “I see you’re getting to know Camilla and Sammie. These are the triplets.” She pointed to the cluster of three identical boys jumping on either side of her. “Matthew, Mark and Michael. They’re three and a half.”
A chorus of Hi ‘Lizbet’s greeted her. She looked deep into their brown eyes and fell instantly in love.
“Hello, boys.” She gave them her warmest smile. “Are you three ever b-big. Are you going to sit right here with us?”
“Of course,” Alessandra Gabinarri broke in. “Everyone should gather ‘round the same table. To give thanks. To eat. To talk about the day. I wish the others were here, too.” She turned to the triplets. “Boys, sit down.”
Her grandsons did as she commanded but, Elizabeth couldn’t help but notice, nothing could keep their little bodies from squirming.
“Antonio, time to eat. Now.”
“Yes, Mama,” Tony said, looking sheepish as he sauntered into the room and took his place at the head of the table, between two of his children and opposite his mother.
For a moment, Elizabeth wondered about this. Tony was only two years younger, it was true, but didn’t the head of the table traditionally go to the eldest male present? Maybe being a married father carried extra weight with Alessandra Gabinarri.
She caught Rob staring at her again and being surprisingly silent amidst the family chaos. Elizabeth, meanwhile, answered questions galore from Camilla, Sammie and even an occasional triplet. Dishes clattered as roasted potatoes, manicotti, grilled carrots and tossed salad with crouton cubes were passed back and forth. Hunks of bread slathered in garlic butter were distributed to the crew. Wine or soft drinks were offered. Nobody dared refuse anything.
“None of that stinking low-carb stuff for us Gabinarris,” Tony whispered to her with one eyebrow cocked while his mother heaped several spoonfuls of potatoes onto little Sammie’s plate.
Alessandra stopped abruptly, ladle in the air. “What happened to my music?” She looked accusingly around the table. “Roberto, was it you?” she said.
Rob shook his head, wide-eyed but with upturned lips, and his mother’s gaze fixed on Tony.
“Antonio?”
“Oh, all right. Yes, it was me.” Tony rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air.
His mother continued to glare at him.
“I’ll go put it back on,” Tony said.
“You do that, Antonio.” She set down her bowl and crossed her arms. “Fooling with my CD player,” she muttered until the strains of Madonna’s classic “Get into the Groove” floated into the dining room. “Hmm. That’s better,” she said when Tony returned. And the clattering, clanking, chattiness and general chaos resumed again at the table.
Fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth had managed to mostly relax. The children’s queries kept her occupied and Marie-Louisa tossed encouraging smiles her way. She released a deep, pent-up breath. She’d almost done it. She’d nearly made it through the meal without saying or doing anything too embarrassing, thank goodness. In another half hour she’d be able to go home.
She glanced around the lively table. The triplets were making a game of poking holes in their bread. Sammie was still hiccupping. Camilla and her mother were giggling about something they’d seen in a Disney video. Rob and Tony were in the midst of a rousing debate over the previous NFC and AFC champs and the players who’d make the best draft picks for the fall season. Everyone grinned, talked, munched. She took a big bite of manicotti.
“So, Elizabeth,” the family matriarch said loudly, “don’t you think my son should get married soon?”
She gulped her half-chewed pasta too fast, which plunged her into a fit of coughing.
“Oh, let me get you some water,” Maria-Louisa said, jumping to her feet and rushing into the kitchen. The kind young woman returned a moment later with a full glass. “Drink this.”
“Th-Th-Thank y-you,” she managed to say between coughs. She could feel her face flushing and knew it must be a delightful shade of scarlet by now.
“Mama,” she heard Rob say. “I don’t think—”
“Oh, nonsense, Roberto. She’s your girlfriend, after all. Don’t you think the lady’s got an opinion?”
Elizabeth choked on the water. His girlfriend! “H-H-His—” was all she could get out before Rob interrupted.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” he told her in an unfamiliar, ultra-soothing tone. “I told them about our long-distance relationship, and how glad I was to be able to spend the month up here with you while we were helping out our uncles.”
WHAT? “Wh-Wh—” she began, seeing him leap out of his seat and walk around the table toward her.
“You know, maybe you need some hot tea instead,” Rob said, the pleading note in his voice starting to break through as he reached her. “I know you’re still getting over that awful cold.” He put his arm around her shoulder and began steering her out of the room. “Hey, everyone, why don’t you guys just continue eating while I make Elizabeth a steaming mug of tea to quiet her cough.”
“I’ve got some Earl Grey in the cabinet,” his mother said.
“Thanks, Mama.” He all but pushed Elizabeth into the kitchen. “Anybody else want some?” he called over his shoulder.
No one did.
“Okay. See you all in a few minutes,” Rob said cheerfully.
She swiveled around to face him once they were alone, pointed her index finger at his broad chest and tried to speak. “H-How could y-you t-t-tell them—”
“Shh. Please, Elizabeth, just listen to me,” he whispered. “I know I made up a whole bunch of stuff about our relationship, but could you please, please, please find it in your heart to play along?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “I’m in way over my head here, and I didn’t know what else to do. A month. My God, a month with my mother trying to set me up with every available woman in Wilmington Bay. I just couldn’t do it again. Last time I was home only for a weekend, and she called her friends and managed to get me three dates in less than forty-eight hours. No way will I survive a whole month.”
He pointed frantically in the direction of the dining room.
“I love my brother with all my heart and soul, but that guy in there is killing me. Five kids! Who, by age twenty-six, has five kids? I’m older than Tony and not even married. Not even engaged. Hell, the last time I had a steady girlfriend was when I was still in college. I like the single life. I like being unencumbered. Kids scare the shit out of me, and every woman I’ve ever dated wants like twelve of them.”
He inhaled several gulps of air.
“I come from a family of six siblings, Elizabeth. Only my little sister Ginny is still unmarried, and that’s just because she’s a college junior. But even she’s got a serious boyfriend. Andy-something-or-other. And he looks like the type who’ll propose the second after he crosses the stage at graduation. The others are scattered around the country, but they call Mama. They speculate about me and exert their pressure on me long distance.”
He ran his fingers through his thick dark wavy hair and looked at her with the closest thing to “fear” she’d ever seen on his handsome face.
“I know this has to be really awful for you,” he said. “But would you please pretend you’re my girlfriend, just for a few weeks? We can break up when our uncles come back from Europe. I’ll go back to Chicago and won’t ever bother you again. And I promise I’ll make it seem like I’m the bad guy so you don’t have to deal with my family’s wrath or resentment if you run into any of them in town.” He paused. “I’d be forever indebted to you, Elizabeth, and in the meantime I’ll work all of your shifts so you can finish your cookbook. I—I own a restaurant. I know how to make really great sandwiches. I can bring lunch over to you on my break. If you’ve got a dog, I can walk him. I do windows. I’ll have Jacques teach me how to make éclairs and—”
“Rob?”
“Yeah?”
“W-Would you please shut up now?”
He clamped his lips together so comically she was seduced into laughing. And then, despite the absolute horrendousness of his idea, she found herself agreeing to “be his girlfriend” (and, yes, coming to family dinners as such) for the month of June.
How did her life get so out-of-control all of a sudden? So bizarre? Oh, that’s right. Roberto Gabinarri came back into town.
“How’s your throat, dear?” his mother asked upon their return. “Did the tea help?”
“Um, y-yes. I-I’m fine.”
“Good. So, where were we when you left?” Alessandra Gabinarri paused and glanced around the table filled with her clan. She smiled with warmth at everyone. “Ah, yes. My son. Don’t you think he should get married soon?”