Lilly
There.
It’s out.
The burning question that I must have the answer to.
He blinks at me, seemingly caught off guard, and I cringe internally, mentally berating myself for sounding so needy. Because I am not needy.
Not at all.
I am a woman who has been able to handle anything thrown her way and I will continue to do so.
But Boone has opened something inside me that makes me insanely curious about what more could be available to me in this lifetime. He and I have had more than one discussion about how I’ll be able to pursue my dreams now that Aiden is getting better. I’m definitely looking forward to expanding my horizons and going straight for the cliché “the whole world is my oyster,” but I want to know if Boone is the pearl inside.
I don’t dare say that aloud though because I’m not willing to disclose I’m a dork since he hasn’t seemed to figure that out yet.
Right now, as I sit on Boone’s couch next to him, his hand still holding mine, I want to know if my future could ever include someone as incredible as him. I don’t want to wonder about it. I need to know because it’s too stressful not to. My tender heart would rather be broken right now versus even twenty-four hours down the road when I know it will become exponentially more attached to him. That’s how fast things are moving for us.
At first, Boone doesn’t say anything. Not even a muscle twitches on his face. He studies me quietly and I can’t tell if wheels are spinning inside his head—potentially a gentle letdown or an affirmation that might change the course of our future.
To my surprise, consternation, and even a tiny bit of horror, he lets go of my hand and stands from the couch, taking two steps backward to face me.
Intentionally putting space between us.
My heart starts to sink as I realize I’m getting the letdown and because Boone is a good man, I know it will be gentle.
“I need some distance,” he says.
I immediately go into damage-control mode and rush to give him the out. “Of course you do. My question was way too presumptuous. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I’m not asking for anything at all. I’m totally fine with being friends. You know I’m not the pushy type and if it came out like that—”
“Lilly… please be quiet.”
My mouth snaps shut and I’m thrown off by Boone’s amused smile.
“I just need space from you on the couch so I can get these words out. When I’m near you, or touching you, my head gets clouded and I can’t think straight.”
“Oh,” I whisper.
“To answer your question, you and I have a beautiful future together.” He looks at me expectantly, as if that might prompt a response. I’m shocked by such a confident, bold statement without an ounce of uncertainty within it. I’m speechless. His amused smile widens. “I know that you and I haven’t known each other for very long but we’ve got a bond that defies logic and so I’m just accepting it as it is. I know your life is all kinds of crazy, and my life is all kinds of busy. But even though it seems it would be too hard to have anything, I’ve got more than enough room to work on whatever this is developing between us. I just hope you can find a little room to want to do the same.”
Elation sweeps through me and I nod furiously. “I do.”
I start to rise from the couch, intent on moving toward him… to touch him, kiss him… I’m not sure. Just to be close. But I stop when Boone holds up his hand, palm out in a silent plea for me to keep my distance for a bit more.
My butt hits the cushion and I clasp my hands in my lap.
“One more thing we need to talk about.” The smile is gone now and his expression is so serious, my stomach tightens. “You asked me not to treat you like an innocent and I’m not going to. My offer stands to stay here tonight because I know that movie wigged you out. And if you want to start slow with the physical stuff, we will. I’m more than willing to sleep in separate bedrooms tonight. But if you want me to touch you… if you want us to be intimate… I need you to tell me that’s what you want. This is the downside of us not knowing each other long… it can get confusing, and the last thing in the world I will ever do is hurt you. To avoid that, I might ask you some direct questions and I want you to be honest with me. And I’ll always be honest with you. For example, tonight, I’ll only go so far. I have a limit. I need to go slow with you.”
A pent-up breath wheezes out. “I don’t even understand what that means.”
“Do you want me to be blunt with you?”
I nod again, this time not as exuberant.
Boone’s expression softens slightly but I can tell he’s determined. “If you stay here tonight, and you want me to touch you, I’m going to make you a very happy woman. But I am not going to fuck you tonight. We’re going to build up to that. You need to let me know what you want.”
I don’t know that he could have said anything to shock me more. My face turns nuclear and my eyes feel like they’re going to bug out of my head. I’m completely appreciative that he’s laying it all out there, and God help me, turned on that he’s refusing to have sex with me tonight.
I’ve never had a man say those words to me.
I am not going to fuck you tonight…
Which implies that he will at some point.
That he wants to.
And… he’s saying I’m special to him and he wants to build up to the ultimate act of intimacy. Even though I would gladly accept Boone into my body tonight, there is something both achingly heartwarming and fiery hot about his proclamation. But the ball is in my court and he has asked me to decide.
“I want to stay the night. And I don’t want you to sleep in a different bedroom.”
Boone exhales and I can tell by the look on his face that was the answer he was hoping for. I don’t get any other opportunity to wonder what’s going through his mind because he’s on me.
Yanking me up from the couch, he bestows on me a sizzling kiss that weakens my knees, so it’s a good thing he has his arm wrapped around my waist to hold me up. All my senses fire at once and it’s overwhelming—the domineering glide of his tongue against mine, the tingle of pain as a hand fists in my hair, the rough graze of his beard against my cheek as he moves his lips to my ear. “Let’s get you something to sleep in.”
“What?” I mumble.
Boone chuckles as he takes me by the hands. “I’ll get you a T-shirt to sleep in and I have an extra toothbrush for you.”
My mind whirls. I’m a little confused but Boone has taught me to ask and he will be honest. “Are we going to sleep right now?”
“After I give you an orgasm.” I stumble as I follow him through the living room and he squeezes my hand. Looking over his shoulder, he grins. “Maybe two.”
An ache forms between my legs. I’m embarrassed that he speaks so frankly about it and yet it emboldens me to ask, “Am I going to be able to give you an orgasm tonight?”
Boone groans, turning to face me. He lifts my hand to his lips where he does what has now become a patented move, brushing a kiss over my knuckles. “How about we play that by ear? I want this to be about you.”
“I want it to be about you too though,” I reply. “I want you to have pleasure.”
“Giving you pleasure is going to give me pleasure. Trust me on that.”
I stare at him helplessly. He’s reduced me to silence.
Boone chuckles and pulls me back into him for another kiss. A soft one, brief and reassuring. “I don’t mean to fluster you but God, you’re fucking adorable when I do.”
With my hand once again in his, he guides me through his apartment to the master bedroom. It’s spartan, although the furniture is nice. Sleek and contemporary like the stuff in his living room. His comforter is a dark gray and his sheets are white, all of it slightly mussed, indicating a man who doesn’t make his bed routinely but doesn’t do a lot of tossing and turning. A single framed photo sits on a bedside table—what I’m thinking might be his family—and I make a note to study it later.
Boone releases me and moves to his dresser where he pulls out a plain white T-shirt. He nods toward the master bath, handing me the shirt. “You’ll find extra toothbrushes under the sink. Help yourself to anything you want in there, and my apologies if I forgot to put the toilet seat down.”
Laughing, I take the T-shirt. “I live with two males. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
In the bathroom, I’m impressed the toilet seat is down. I take a minute to do my business, washing my hands, then my face. I find the toothbrushes right where he said they’d be. There are several under there and I wonder if that’s because he has women stay over often. I try to sweep that thought away as I get ready for bed because it’s none of my business.
Except… what if everything that Boone just told me is a well-rehearsed line to get a girl in his bed?
You can stay the night. We can do separate rooms if you want. But if we do sleep in the same bed, I’ll give you pleasure and I don’t need anything in return.
Which… really makes me want to jump his bones.
Damn it.
When I’m done, I hesitantly open the door expecting to find Boone lounging naked on the bed with a sly look on his face, having thoroughly seduced me with words.
Except he’s not.
He’s standing at his dresser, removing his watch. He’s wearing… pajamas too. A pair of gray, black and white plaid pants with a dark gray T-shirt. “Find everything okay?” he asks with a smile.
I nod, holding my clothes to my chest. The T-shirt he gave me comes to mid-thigh and covers everything.
Nodding at the bed, Boone says, “Choose whatever side you want. I’m going to brush my teeth.”
When the bathroom door closes behind me, my worst attack of doubt hits and I consider putting my clothes back on and running for the door. This seems like a grand ruse to get in my pants and while I wasn’t averse to it five minutes ago, that was when I believed that maybe I was different and special to Boone.
Before I found a dozen toothbrushes under his sink.
I nibble on my thumbnail, clutching onto my pile of clothes. Surely, I’m wrong. Boone isn’t that type of guy. He’s sweet, devoted to Aiden and selfless in his care and concern. He could have pressed an advantage on me during that first date. After a yacht ride down the river to view the city lights, the man certainly could’ve gotten laid.
The bathroom door opens and Boone steps out, flipping off the light behind him. His forehead wrinkles with concern as he takes me in. “What’s wrong?”
I lift a shoulder because I’m not quite sure.
“Lilly?” he presses. “I can read you loud and clear. You’re freaked about something.”
“You had a dozen toothbrushes in your cabinet,” I blurt out. Boone’s mouth twists, an eyebrow cocks. He doesn’t get it. “You provide options for fresh breath to a lot of women.”
Both of his eyebrows shoot straight up and his expression is incredulous before he bends over and laughs. A hard belly laugh that has me feeling ten times the fool. I glare at him and it prompts him to move into me.
Hands on my shoulders, he pulls me in for a kiss to my forehead before staring down at me. “Lilly… I switch out my toothbrush every month. I buy a large pack from Amazon. It’s on auto-ship. I swear to you those aren’t for women. As a matter of fact, you’re the first woman I’ve brought to my apartment. I don’t share my toothbrushes with just anyone, you know.”
Almost sagging with relief, I manage a sheepish smile. “Well, don’t I feel like a dolt.”
Boone’s eyes twinkle as he pulls my clothes out of my hand, tossing them to the floor. Next thing I know, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me to the bed. He tosses me in the middle and follows behind, somehow managing to pull my body to his as he settles us both against the pillows and headboard.
Arms wrapped tight around me he presses his temple to mine. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Laugh hysterically because I’m foolish,” I mutter.
He chuckles. “No, I’m still going to kiss you.”
“You are?” I ask hesitantly.
Boone moves so fast I can’t process that I’m now sitting on his lap. His hand is on my face, holding my jaw. “Kiss you, which may lead to other things. Now’s the time to tell me to stop.”
“No stopping,” I whisper.
He smiles. “Good answer.”
Boone rolls us so I’m on my back and he’s on his side. He slides one of his legs in between mine, presses his hand into the mattress near my ribs and hovers over me. The weight of his focus as he stares at my mouth has me fidgeting and I’m on the verge of begging him to kiss me when he finally lowers his face to mine. I jolt when his teeth grab my bottom lip, giving the slightest pinch before licking it. Then his tongue is in my mouth and he’s kissing me so deeply, a startled moan escapes.
Oh, wow… he tastes so good. Peppermint-flavored swipes of his tongue against mine as his hand moves to my hip. He slides it under the T-shirt and his fingertips glide over the edge of the waistband of my panties before grazing my skin just above it. Pure, unfiltered lust rockets through me and I roll toward him, seeking his body against mine. Boone’s big hand tightens on my hip, holding me in place so I’m left wanting and needy. All the while he continues to ravage my mouth, intermittently grazing his teeth against my lips, his thumb now stroking my skin as he keeps me pinned.
My hand against his chest, I feel the mad thunder of his heart before sliding over the planes of his muscles, then lower over his abdomen, which tightens and contracts. When my fingers brush the waistband of his pajama pants, his hand moves lightning quick from my hip to my wrist.
Locking it up tight, he pushes me onto my back and pins my arm to the mattress. Lifting his mouth from mine, he grins. “None of that, now. You’re getting me sidetracked.”
“What?” I ask innocently, batting my eyelashes for extra effect.
“Going to knock that smirk off your face,” he promises in a low rumble and lust once again slams into me fiery hot.
I lick my lips, my throat suddenly parched. “How’s that?”
Boone releases my wrist and slips his hand under the hem of the T-shirt but merely to come to rest on my stomach. His palm is warm and heavy. Once again, he’s on his hip, hovering over me with such an intense expression, I feel like I might incinerate from that alone.
“I want you to relax,” he instructs, gliding his thumb over my skin.
“Impossible,” I whisper.
“For Lilly Hoffman, nothing is impossible,” he murmurs and dips his head to kiss me again.
It’s not the touch of his mouth that has me reeling but the surety of the words he said just before.
For Lilly Hoffman, nothing is impossible.
I’m a goner. This will be imprinted on my memory forever because it’s officially the moment when I take the plunge and fall for Boone. I’m drowning in the feelings he provokes and the way his lips dominate mine. I know I should have reservations and I should feel all kinds of self-conscious being in his bed, in his T-shirt, but I don’t. I feel oddly free and captured at the same time.
Boone’s hand moves, his fingertips sliding under the waistband of my panties. There’s no hesitancy, no pause, no asking for permission. My legs fall open and he growls his approval that I’ve capitulated. He glides a single finger through the lips of my sex, bypasses my clit and massages my entrance.
My hips buck upward but Boone pushes the heel of his palm against my pubic bone to hold me still before pressing his finger inside me.
“Boone,” I murmur, a single word that rolls off my tongue onto his. He kisses me deeper, slowly moving his finger in and out of me.
I can barely breathe but I’ll die if he takes his mouth from mine. His finger withdraws, slick with the evidence of how much he turns me on, and circles slowly around my clit. He’s in no hurry at all and I can tell he’s paying deep attention to my sounds.
The movements of his finger correspond to my reactions and when he finds something I like by the way my hips rotate, he doubles down. But when my breathing hastens and he knows I’m close, he slows his pace.
I’m about ready to scream—more like beg for release—when he catches me off guard with a fast flutter of his finger against my most sensitive spot and I break apart.
Boone must feel it… or sense it. I barely make a sound and my body freezes up, but he pulls his mouth from mine and whispers, “There it is. Fly free, sweet girl.”
I moan, long and hard, his words of liberation letting me embrace the orgasm in all its glory. Boone’s mouth comes to my jaw where he peppers small kisses from there down along my neck while his finger continues to circle my clit slowly. It continues to cause sparks of pleasure within me and finally I have to push his hand away because I’m too sensitive.
Boone lifts his head to stare down at me, his eyes soft with satisfaction. But how can he be satisfied when I’m the one who just fell down the rabbit hole of bliss?
I roll toward him, hands reaching for the waistband of his pants. “Let me.”
Once again, he has my wrist but it’s not to push me away or pin me to the mattress. He merely holds it against his chest, pulling me in closer. “Not tonight.”
“But why?” I grumble.
“Because tonight was about you, and for some reason I’m digging taking it slow.”
“But… but… aren’t you in need?”
“You mean is my cock aching to be inside you?” I’m mute, but yeah… that’s what I meant. “Trust me… it is.”
“Then—”
Boone pulls me in close, his lips silencing my words before he says, “Let’s get some sleep. We’ve got stuff to accomplish tomorrow.”
“But—”
Releasing me, Boone rolls the opposite way and turns off the lamp. I think he might mean to go to sleep with his back to me but once again, I’m in his arms and snuggled up to his chest. “Lilly, I’ll let you touch me next time, okay?”
“But—”
“Next time,” he promises.
I’m so confused. My inclination is to keep picking at it because that’s all I know how to do. Every doctor who delivered a piece of medical news, especially if it was disheartening, I would pick it apart and analyze things from every angle.
Boone isn’t letting me do that and I don’t know how I feel.
“Lilly?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you. Never wanted another one to touch me the way I want your hands or your mouth on me right now. But please trust me when I say, I don’t need it. Tonight is just about you and I don’t want us to ever be tit for tat. It was exciting and satisfying enough for me to do that to you and watch you come apart. I’m a happy man right now, okay?”
Okay?
Okay?
Hell yes, it’s okay. Boone always knows what to say to make it perfect. And he’s not bullshitting me. I can tell. He’s sincere in every word and as long as I live, I’ll never know a man as generous and giving as this one.
“Okay,” I finally manage.
“Good. Now let’s get some sleep.”
Once again, his lips press a soft kiss to my head and I close my eyes as I settle against his chest.