Hamish And The Worldstoppers

‘I don’t understand,’ said the small pudgy kid with cheeks like a hamster. ‘Can you explain the idea again?’

‘Okay,’ said Alice, putting her hands on her hips. ‘But this will literally be like the three-hundredth time.’

At least twenty-five children, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the wood, outside Alice’s grandad’s shed.

It was late morning the next day and Hamish, Alice, Buster, Elliot, Clover and Venk had been up for hours already.

At exactly 9.01 a.m. Buster had distracted Dr Fussbundler with his sore filling while Clover crept into the back office of The Tooth Hurts.

In there, she’d found Dr Fussbundler’s records – and now they had a list of every kid in Starkley who’d had a filling with that weird ZINOXYCLUMP^TM stuff.

And by 9.15 a.m. that morning Venk, Alice, Hamish, Clover, Elliot and a slightly sore Buster had split up and made sure Winterbourne and St Autumnal’s were completely covered.

‘Pssst!’ they’d say, from around a corner or behind some bins, whenever they spotted one of Dr Fussbundler’s patients. ‘Could we possibly have a quick word about the future of life on Earth?’

Now at 11.48 a.m. on an otherwise normal Thursday, every kid in Starkley who’d been ZINOXYCLUMP^TM-ed was here.

They may not have looked like much – but Hamish could see something special: now they had an army.

There was Darcy and Lola, the twin girls who lived down the road from Clover. They’d been so pleased to discover there was an uprising planned.

And there was Drake and Kit and Rufus, sitting attentively with Ed, Daisy, Mo and Poppy.

Hamish even saw Dexter, the kid in the stripy top they’d seen from high up on the rollercoaster the night before. He’d tried to talk to him, but Dexter remained completely silent, like a boy who’d seen a ghost. He was deathly pale and trembly to the touch, and tried his best simply to hide among everyone else.

Hamish and the PDF stood before these kids, wearing their overalls and some little sergeant patches that Elliot had ironed on to make them look like they were properly in charge. He’d also typed out his very own list of Frequently Asked Questions in a posh font and printed it out on little bits of yellow card, because he thought it might be handy.

~ Elliot’s PDFAQ ~

Look. What on Earth is going on?

Good question.

It seems we’re being invaded by Terribles who pause time and somehow we’re the world’s first line of defence.

What?

Yes. And tomorrow night is the night of the Final Event. A fearsome feeding frenzy that will destroy Starkley forever and mark the beginning of a global Terrible takeover!

Sounds awful. Where do these ‘Terribles’ come from?

Either the sea, space or France. At the moment, our best guess is space, but none of us has ever been to France, so who knows what goes on there?

Why have they chosen Starkley?

Because it’s so boring and hardly anyone comes here. That means no pesky outsiders and no one ever guessing that something like this could go on here. Plus, it’s handy for the sea and there’s a twenty-four hour minimart just down by the garage.

When do these fearsome beasts attack?

Look, all we know is they’re coming more often, and staying for longer. At first, they came under cover of darkness. Then at about suppertime. Now they’re so confident of victory they come day or night. See my graph for further information (diagram 1).

So there’s no logic to their appearances?

Why are you looking for logic? Space aliens are stopping the world so they can steal grown-ups, while a group of ten-year-olds with questionable dental hygiene motor about on vehicles they are not qualified to drive in order to hatch a plan to prevent the end of life on Earth as we know it!

Okay. Don’t get snarky.

I’m not getting snarky. I’m just saying.

Well, you sound a bit snarky to me.

Well, I’m very sorry, but the pressure is getting to me a bit.

Is that why you’ve started talking to yourself?

Quite possibly, yes, it is! Good point, Elliot!

Thank you, Elliot.

Okay, this has gone weird.

‘He said he had to pick something up from town,’ said Alice. ‘But people want more details, Hamish. They’re scared.’

‘I’ll try and explain,’ said Hamish, stepping forward and taking a deep breath. All eyes were upon him. He cleared his throat.

‘Kids of Starkley,’ he said. ‘You may have grown up thinking that this was Britain’s Fourth Most Boring Town. But it is anything but. In fact, it is at the centre of the most exciting thing that has ever happened in the world ever. The WorldStoppers are upon us. They have sent the Terribles to take away the grown-ups and return them as mean. In less than forty-eight hours, their plan is to finish off Starkley and then start on the rest of the world. And only we can stop them.’

‘But how?’ said a girl with her hair in a plait. ‘There’s nothing about that in the FAQ!’

‘How are we going to get our parents back?’ she wailed. ‘How are we going to stop people being mean? We’re just kids!’

A hubble-bubble of chitter-chatter broke out. There was fear in the air. What did this mean? What could they possibly do?

‘Alice has an idea,’ said Hamish, quietening everyone down. ‘There’s a Pause today, and she thinks there could be a way of beating these WorldStoppers once and for all and getting everything back to normal.’

‘But the Terribles keep moving. And just when the Pause is nearly over, they all run away again. Why?’

‘Because they don’t want to be seen!’ shouted a kid who for some reason was dressed as a ninja.

‘Maybe,’ said Alice. ‘But why are they bothered about being seen? They’re so powerful. And most of the grown-ups have either been taken or they’re back and they’re mean. So maybe they’re running away for another reason.’

‘Well – and this is just a guess – I think that when we move about, they stop still.’

The whole clearing fell silent as the assembled kids thought about what Alice had said.

‘What if they have to abide by the same rules?’ she went on. ‘What if that’s why one of them watches the town clock, because if they’re still here in Starkley when the Pause finishes, they all just stop?’

Well, it was an idea all right. And what if it was true? Maybe that was why the Terribles all panicked and bounded away so quickly when the world was about to return to normal. They were scared of getting frozen! And if the kids could make all the Terribles freeze in time, well . . . they could do as Clover had said and call the police, or the army, or the mayor and say – look! Monsters! It’s true! Take them away!

‘This seems quite a risk,’ said Venk, chipping in. ‘But right now it’s the only idea that we have. And I, for one, am in.’

‘And I will help also,’ came one last voice, in an odd, stilted accent, from somewhere near the back.

Standing next to Buster was a bulky boy in an ill-fitting T-shirt wearing a bright green Mexican wrestling mask.

‘El Gamba is here to helpa!’ shouted Grenville Bile, who hadn’t really cracked his Mexican accent yet.

‘What’s the Prawn doing here?’ said Alice, wide-eyed, as Hamish put his hands on his hips. ‘When did he become a Pausewalker?’

‘About half an hour ago,’ said Buster. ‘When we were stealing the list from Dr Fussbundler’s, we forgot to check his appointment book. I nipped back and the first thing I saw was Grenville walking out with a brand-new filling. He was already on his way to the sweet shop!’

‘Hello?’ came another new voice, as a kid pushed his way through the bracken. ‘What are we doing? What is this, hide-and-seek?’

It was Robin! He was holding a lollipop from The Tooth Hurts. So he’d been there too!

‘Robin!’ yelled Hamish. ‘But I thought your dental hygiene was second to none?’

‘I may have exaggerated,’ he said. ‘I’m a little partial to an Austrian Aniseed . . . so what’s all this about?’

‘Well,’ said Hamish, looking awkward, ‘I think the answer might shock you a bit.’

‘Well, whatever it is, we’re in,’ replied Grenville, slapping Robin on the back, which seemed to really startle him.

‘Then we’re ready,’ said Hamish, in his best, most heroic voice, as he looked out over this new group of brave friends and time warriors. ‘Let us begin . . .’