the women gather
because it is not unusual
to seek comfort in our hours of stress
a man must be buried
it is not unusual
that the old bury the young
though it is an abomination
it is not strange
that the unwise and the ungentle
carry the banner of humaneness
though it is a castration of the spirit
it no longer shatters the intellect
that those who make war
call themselves diplomats
we are no longer surprised
that the unfaithful pray loudest
every sunday in every church
and sometimes in rooms facing east
though it is a sin and a shame
so how do we judge a man
most of us love from our need to love not
because we find someone deserving
most of us forgive because we have trespassed not
because we are magnanimous
most of us comfort because we need comforting
our ancient rituals demand that we give
what we hope to receive
and how do we judge a man
we learn to greet when meeting
to cry when parting
and to soften our words at times of stress
the women gather
with cloth and ointment
their busy hands bowing to laws that decree
willows shall stand swaying but unbroken
against even the determined wind of death
we judge a man by his dreams
not alone his deeds
we judge a man by his intent
not alone his shortcomings
we judge a man because it is not unusual
to know him through those who love him
the women gather strangers
to each other because
they have loved a man
it is not unusual to sift
through ashes
and find an unburnt picture