“And, if she is trying to sabotage my weight loss and efforts to get healthy again, I will resist her—snickerdoodles or no. If we are right, she wants me to stay fat so...so she can still think of herself as the prettiest.” Emma rushed the last few words, not wanting to say them and lay blame on her sister. “I know she loves me, but she must have some kind of insecurity to think this way. Let alone act like this.”
Jacob decided to put all his cards on the table. “Emma, I think she is right.”
“What? What are you saying?” Emma had no idea what Jacob meant.
“Only that you are a very pretty woman. I know, we aren’t supposed to dwell on outward things of this earth. But I’ve always thought you were more beautiful than either of your sisters were. Not just in the outward sense. You have a loving and giving spirit. You welcome others in. And it gives you a beauty that comes from Gott.”
Emma, who had never heard “pretty” in connection with her name, struggled with tears. “Thank you, Jacob!” That was all she could say, out of fear she would break down.
Ann experienced an “ah-hah” moment. “Jacob, are you interested in...?” Her forefinger waved back and forth between Jacob and Emma.
“Ja, I’ve let Emma know how I feel, but she has asked that we wait until she has lost some of the weight she needs to lose.”
“But why? That shouldn’t make any difference! I would love to see the two of you courting!”
Jacob grinned. Having a parent on his side made him feel so gut! “I feel the same, but Emma is worried that, because of how she looks, I might get gossiped about or even laughed at for dating someone as heavy as she is. The fact is I’ve always liked her as more than a friend.”
The lightbulb went on for John. “Is this why you’ve never courted here...or anywhere else?”
“Ja. The example my mam and dat set for my brothers, sisters and me taught me that I should court only girls or young women that I believe I may marry one day. My regard for Emma began when we were teens, and it has never gone away. I let her know of my feelings last night. I pray that doing so will help her stay strong when she is feeling the weakest.”
Ann nodded in approval. “Ja, that along with prayer, can help her keep her resolve.”
Emma was stunned. She had long since resigned herself to being an old maid because of her weight. She was unable to speak, for the swelling feelings of joy blooming in her spirit.
Looking at Emma, Jacob saw her deep brown eyes shining. She had a flush on her cheeks.
Emma looked back at Jacob, her mouth slightly opened. Her expression seemed to say, “Ja, let’s plan a future together.”
***
The next Monday, all of the elders came to the Lapp house. Sitting in the kitchen, they gave Emma permission to undergo the special surgery. “You had a difficult time in telling me why it’s been so hard for you to lose the weight. If Barbara continues to put roadblocks in your path, let me know and I will be happy to go and have a discussion with her about your determination to get healthy.” Bishop Zook enjoyed giving these kinds of decisions to the members of their community. “Just remember. As you lose the weight, remain modest and humble. Keep your focus on Gott and his blessings in your life.”
“Denki, Bishop. I will.” The emotion Emma felt made her voice shaky.
John and Ann sat on either side of Emma, knowing that their lives had all just changed. “Emma, I’ll call the doctor and set an appointment for you so we can get everything started.” Putting his hat on, he found the business card with the doctor’s phone number on it and left the house.
After the elders had left, Ann stopped Emma for a moment. “You can work on your therapy in a minute. Your life is about to change in a big way, daughter. Your dat and I support you completely. I have a way I can tell your sister to stay out of your way. But I get the feeling she is going to resist. I’m still going to work with Rachel King on learning new recipes and ways of cooking healthy. Your dat and I can lose weight the traditional way, ja?”
At Emma’s nod, she continued. “Then, we’ll make it a family effort. I am tired of carrying this weight around myself. I’m sure your dat is as well. I’ll tell your sisters and see if they will work on this with us as well. I beg your forgiveness! I truly thought that being heavier meant being healthier.”
“Mam, I forgive you. Your belief was one that was held even before I was born, and then some Amish, not all, learned differently. Now you know, and you’re going to do everything you can to make yourself and Dat healthy. As far as Barbara goes, I hope she’ll support me eventually. I even hope she’ll lose the extra weight she’s carrying.”
***
Later that week, Barbara heard the news of Emma’s pending surgery from Jacob.
“Did you hear the gut news?” Jacob’s smile fairly lit up the kitchen as he sipped hot coffee.
“Nee, what is it?” Barbara was sure it would be something like news of one of his sisters having another baby.
“Your sister, Emma! She is having weight loss surgery!”
The small plate in Barbara’s hand nearly fell to the floor as her anger made everything in her go numb. Looking down, she saw the edge of the plate teetering on her fingertips. Gripping it, she set it firmly on the counter. “What? Nee. What did you say?”
“Emma is having weight loss surgery. After her accident, her doctors told her that if she didn’t lose all that weight, she would only get sicker and be at risk of other injuries in the future.” Jacob’s bright smile had disappeared as he readied the message he had for Barbara.
“But...the elders...she can lose the weight by eating more sensibly!”
“Barbara, sit down and stop fiddling with that plate.” Jacob’s voice had toughened as he thought of everything Barbara had done to Emma.
Barbara obeyed. She had never heard that note in Jacob’s voice before. “Okay, I’m sitting.”
“I don’t know why, but you don’t want her to lose the weight. If she doesn’t, she will become diabetic and her asthma will only get worse.” Rising, Jacob stood at the door, alternating his gaze between the misty, dim morning outside and Barbara’s stunned face. “Her knees are going bad and she’s going to need surgery on both of them. Her doctor has mentioned full replacements of both knee joints. Barbara, she is very young for that kind of surgery! It’s all due to her weight. How can you condemn her to such a life?”
Barbara was left without any defenses in the face of Jacob’s verbal onslaught. She gasped, opening and closing her mouth as she tried to come back with a snappy rejoinder.
“I have my own theories,” Jacob continued. “But first, let me tell you that, for years, since Emma and I were both in our running-around times, I have wanted to be more than just friends with her. She kept that from happening by keeping things on an ‘only friends’ basis. Well, we had a talk last week and I let her know that I have wanted to deepen our relationship. She knew I had never courted anyone. Ever. And I told her that it was because I could only imagine a relationship with her. One that culminated in marriage.”
Barbara’s expression was priceless. If Jacob could put words to it, it would have said, ‘Emma, in a relationship and getting married? But she’s fat and ugly!’ She betrayed her thoughts with a laugh. “Hah!”
“Why don’t you want her to be happy? Wait, let me guess. You’re afraid that if she loses the weight and embarks on a relationship with me, she will be happier and, dare I say it, prettier than you are. So, that’s why you’re resisting her efforts to lose weight. You’re also resisting your family’s attempts to help her. And I know why you took the cookies to your parents’ house—because you want to stop her weight loss.
“Barbara, what you are doing is extremely short-sighted, selfish and dangerous. I’ll be watching you, so I would suggest you put on a happy face and pretend, at the least, to support her efforts. Don’t sabotage her. If you do, I’ll go speak to Bishop Zook or one of the other elders. Got that?”
Barbara’s anger nearly overwhelmed her. She lost feeling in her lips and her ears began buzzing. Swallowing, she took several deep breaths. “Okay. Ja, I understand and I won’t stop her weight-loss efforts. Leave now. Before I-I throw my coffeepot at you.”
“Done.” Jacob sprang to his feet as his stomach roiled with disgust. “I’ll be keeping my eyes on everything you do. Remember that.” Turning around and feeling his bile rising, Jacob rushed out of the kitchen. Halfway to his wagon, he lost his battle with his stomach, bent over and threw up.
Barbara, who stood at the door, grimaced in disgust. Shaking her head, she turned around and washed the few dishes she had pulled out in welcoming Jacob into her kitchen. As she did so, she took extra care not to break the dessert plate—her hands were trembling that badly. She started as she heard Ben come into the kitchen.
“Wife, why did Jacob King vomit outside? Is he sick?”
“I don’t know.” Drying her hands, she put the cleaned dishes away. “I have too much work to do to worry about the likes of him. Throw dirt over the mess.” Turning, she hurried to begin cleaning. As she did so, she found that climbing up and down stairs made her breathe heavily. Sitting on the top step, she placed her plump hand against her chest, trying to catch her breath.
After a few minutes, she was able to breathe more evenly. Taking her time, she continued cleaning, determined to use her anger in her cleaning. I am a gut woman. I’m a gut wife and mother. Jacob King was wrong to tell me what he did because I can do what I want when it comes to Emma. I told him that I wouldn’t do anything to keep her from losing weight. I won’t...make it look like I’m making it harder for her. Setting her bucket down, Barbara’s grin was feral. She was still going to do everything she could to make it impossible for Emma to meet her weight loss goal, surgery or not.
***
Once the appointment with Emma’s doctor was set, things began to move quickly. Emma received a referral to a bariatric surgeon, who saw her and administered the tests necessary to patients prepping for surgical weight loss. At one such appointment, Emma, Ann, John and even Jacob listened quietly as the surgeon’s nurse explained the procedure that Emma would undergo. “We have four different types of weight loss surgery: the laparoscopic adjustable lap band, a sleeve gastrectomy, the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass and finally, the duodenal switch with bilopancreatic diversion.
“All of these surgeries allow less food into your stomach. You’ll still be able to absorb the calories you need, as well as the nutrients your body relies on. I don’t know how many calories you’re taking in now, but your caloric intake is going to go down considerably after your surgery.
“We advise all bariatric—weight loss surgery—patients to choose foods low in carbohydrates. Eating plenty of healthy fats, like you've been doing, is very important, so that when you are full, what you ate will give you as many nutritional benefits as possible. It may seem counterproductive to add more fats back into your diet, but with the caloric restrictions, a low carbohydrate, higher fat diet will help you stay healthy after the surgery. Choices like olive oil and butter as opposed to margarine are very good. You must avoid carbohydrates like breads, pastas, regular flour and rice."
Emma squeezed her eyes shut for a second. Even more to change! She hoped her mam would be open to updating her recipes even further. Though thinking back on the meals they had been eating lately, the updated recipes already included more vegetables and meats than potatoes, pasta, and rice. Maybe it wouldn't be that hard.
"Are you okay?" the doctor asked.
Emma nodded and forced a smile. "Gut. A bit overwhelmed, but gut."
"I understand. I want you to know, you can do this. I can see how determined you are already just from what you've told me about yourself and your situation. Do you know how much you weigh?”
Emma blushed, not wanting Jacob to hear the number. “Well, before I had my accident, I weighed...can I write it down and give the number to you?”
“Oh, sure! Here.” The nurse ripped off a piece of paper, giving her a pen.
Shielding the paper with her hand, Emma wrote down “275,” giving it to the nurse. “And, my friend’s mam has already begun to show my mam how to cook healthier meals. So, I’m sure I may have lost a pound or two by now.”
“Good! I’m glad to hear you’re already working on that. Make sure she understands that she needs to focus on reducing carbohydrates more than anything after this surgery. Higher fat foods are okay, like butters, cheese, and olive oil. You don't need to count calories either, and in fact we don't really recommend it.
"Now, it’s our practice to give every patient wanting weight loss surgery psychological testing. We have to make sure that only those patients who are emotionally stable receive one of these surgeries. That’s why we asked you to set aside a three-hour block of time for this appointment. You’ll have your psychological evaluation now and, depending on your results, we’ll schedule your surgery.” Rising, she slowly escorted Emma into the psychologist’s office.
“You have a psychologist here?” Emma was surprised. She had expected to have to go to yet another doctor’s office.
“Yup. We know that in every surgical case, we need to know how well-adjusted our patients are. If you have some psychological issue that would make a good outcome, or weight loss, less likely, we won’t operate. Just be honest in answering the questions. Okay?”
“I will, denki.” Sitting down in the chair the psychologist indicated, Emma accepted the test packet and pencil. “I answer these questions by filing in the bubble?”
“Exactly. Answer them honestly. Before you begin, there are several verification questions in there. They’ll test the honesty of your earlier answers, so just fill in the bubble next to the answer that is closest to your own answer.”
“Okay.” Emma began answering each question. Some of them were fairly simple. Others made her think of hurtful events in her life. With every question, she strove to answer as honestly as she could. When she finished one packet of questions, she went onto the next after listening to the instructions the psychologist gave her. Finally, she was done—she thought. Next, she looked at odd pictures and told the doctor what she thought they were. Next, she associated words with other words. Finally, she was done. Sighing, she stood up carefully, the psychologist making sure she was stable on her foot.
***
Two weeks later, Emma opened a letter from the bariatric surgeon’s office. Inhaling with excitement, Emma called for Ann. “Mam! I’m in! I’ll have surgery in two weeks!”
Ann hurried into the kitchen. “Oh, thank Gott! We’ll tell everyone this Sunday, after service.”
***
That Sunday, Emma and her parents broke the news to their family and friends. “Ja, Emma will be having surgery in a little less than two weeks.”
Barbara, hearing this news, was careful to put a happy grin on her face. Bouncing up and down, she squealed. “Emma, such gut news! You’re going to achieve your dream!”
Looking at her from next to Emma, Jacob could see that Barbara’s “joy” was as real as the silk plants he’d seen in English stores. Giving Barbara a sardonic smile, he nodded. After Barbara had gone back to her family’s bench, he followed, indicating he wanted to talk to her. “Barbara, that was a gut performance back there. Remember, the rest of us care about your sister’s health. We want to see her get healthy. I just want you to continue supporting her—even if you don’t feel it inside.”
Barbara’s glare at Jacob was telling. If she could have chopped his head off, she would have. “Fine. I will. Now, I need to get back with my family.” Brushing rudely past him, she sat with Ben, who felt her towering rage.
THE END.